Ads in your games? Whatever next?

You've seen them so many times in movies and TV. Carefully placed products and logos scattered seemingly innocently around the scene, a can of Coke here, a bottle of Heinekin, Bud or whatever somewhere else, a car passing the golden arches of McDonalds. It happens now with such frequency that those of us who aren't slaves to advertising like myself probably ignore them- I don't even remember Will's car in I-Robot (above) had an Audi logo- maybe it was because the movie was a load of shit?

However I didn't ignore some advertising the other day; Sam Fisher, the Ex Navy S.E.A.L. you play in Splinter Cell 3: Chaos Theory is preparing for a mission on board an Osprey, he opens a pack of chewing gum and pops one in his mouth. He sets it down and the camera pans downwards to focus on it- a pack of Airwaves! It was the most blatent advertising, I'd ever seen in a game. Okay I've seen the advertising in a virtual football field and billboards in driving games but never in something like this and certainly not something as blatent.

It turns out however that this new practice works just as well as The Force on the weak-minded according to a study that was highlighted on Sci Fi Wire today.

The Mummy III: Dear God no!

It would have been daft not to make a sequel to the original 1999 The Mummy film. So they did; but it was shit! However for some bizarre reason the studio has greenlighted at least a script for a third Mummy film and it appears that the new Mummy villain will be Chinese.

The desiccated remains of China's first uber-Emperor Qin Shihuang… Wang wants to take over the world by releasing his army of warriors who were cursed and turned into terracotta statues a few millennia ago."

Stephen Sommers is not writing apparently, it'll be Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, the creators of Smallville. There's no confirmation that Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are involved with the film, but their parts are written.

Sizemore not jailed... yet!

Actor Tom Sizemore ain't going to jail after his lawyers convinced an L.A. judge that prescribed medication made him fail a drugs test. The actor, 44, was deemed to have violated conditions of his probation, which dates back to a 2004 drugs offence, when a routine test discovered amphetamines in his urine.
Sizemore has already spent three months in a rehabilitation clinic for his addictions, and the court has declined the prosecution's request to jail the star - if he can provide a prescription to prove his claims. Sizemore is currently on bail, pending his appeal over his conviction for domestic violence against former lover, Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss.
Hell if normal people in work can get a doctors note to prevent them being fired, I'm sure a Hollywood actor can get a prescription written up for a Judge ya?

Picard NOT boldly gone...

Patrick Stewart has said in a recent press conference promoting his new series Eleventh Hour that there have been "talks" with Paramount executives of his possible return to Star Trek. Stewart considers the talks "serious", but as he's contracted to the Royal Shakespeare Company for the next 16 months nothing will happen before then.

So I'll be back with more news of this in March 2007.

The rise and fall of Ang Lee

Before the turn of the century I was privileged to see a film with Toby Maguire set in the old west called Ride with the Devil it. I can't say it was a remarkable film and it never made it to my DVD list, but if it ever came on telly, I probably wouldn't turn it off.

I wasn't too long after that that I went to see Wo hu cang long or "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" to those of you who are uncultured. I found it quite remarkable. It was interesting to see Chow Yun Fat not diving across a room in slow motion firing dual berettas with pigeons flying everywhere. Crouching Tiger, was beautifully shot, wonderfully acted and superbly directed.

It was interesting for me to find out at this time that the director of both films was Ang Lee a filmmaker from Taiwan. I was actually looking forward to the next film directed by this man.

Unfortunately it was the godamn Hulk. But I'm not going to talk about that, it's too painful.

His next film is Brokeback Mountain starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger as two cowboys. It's billed as a love-story so I knew it wouldn't be my cup of tea, but love stories don't hurt director’s careers do they? But then my friend told me that the two stars play fag- pardon me, Homosexual Cowboys.

Bye bye Ang.

DOOM review

Movie reviews are not something I'm going to do a lot of, I prefer to discuss them with Mark during 2IGTV, but this is one I must do. I've barely have had enough time to recover from an extraordinary experience last night; I played one of my trademark PC games in a packed cinema with no need to reload, quicksave or get cramps which turn the palm of my hand into the shape of a Logitech wheel mouse.

Yes, DOOM opened here yesterday to a packed house, full of male video-game nerds who no doubt, like me, were at some point in their lives; Galactic Space Marines who travelled to Phobos, Deimos, the surface Mars and to Hell itself to kill demons in the most influential (now ripped off by everyone) game in western civilisation to date: DOOM.

I doubt a single one of them was disappointed. With only a few major changes to the story of the DOOM games, in which the Demons invade mars through a portal from Hell, in the movie they’re a product of the usual genetic research gone awry as in Resident Evil and propagate like Aliens. These changes accepted however, you're in for some treat. Fantastic set pieces, great use of automatic weaponry, many references to the game, a senseless amount of gore and violence and of course Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson make for one terrific movie.

See it today. That’s an order!

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Face/Off a reality!

I'll admit I thought this was pretty incredible when I read it: Apparently some French (they might actually be good for somthing) surgeons were watching the John Woo film Face/Off starring John Travolta and Nicholas Cage the other night and one said to the other "Hey mon ami we shurd tryy do dis for ray-al wee?"

And they did. Amazingly they perfomed the worlds first Face Transplant. One of the patients was dead before they started though. They couldn't be expected to be as good as the surgeons in Face/Off (they are only French after all), read about it here.

I can see this being marketed soon enough however and soon we'll be able to buy the face of our celebrity heroes. Me: I've got dibs on Connery!

Kid kisses his girlfriend to DEATH!!!

And you think all you have to worry about is STDs these days.

In Canada, a teenager with a nut allergy has died after kissing her boyfriend hours after he had eaten a peanut butter sandwich.

Doctors said traces of peanuts may have been on her partners teeth, tongue or lips.

Poor fucker. It'll haunt him for the rest of his days. He'll probably top himself.

Code Reds: A no-no in US but all the rage in UK!

The true 'hard men' of Great Britian are not the two bald blokes on Eastenders but the Royal Marines, British counterparts of my beloved corps.

Now, while the corps no longer recruits crybabies and whiners, it seens that a more stringent interviewing system should be applied to the Royal Marines to weed out these type of people from being recruited. The Marines should be allowed to practice this kind of training at their leisure with out MOD interference- we live in a time where this is necessary!

Mr. Miyagi passes on.

Everyone's favourite little oriental fella and sensai, Noriuki "Pat" Morita has died of natural causes at his Las Vegas home, aged 73. The actor and comedian, whose portrayal of Mr. Miyagi in the 1984 movie The Karate Kid earned him an Oscar nomination.

I believe the wisdom of Mr. Miyagi is second only to Yoda.

2IGTV Episode 9

The ninth episode of 2IGTV is now available. This episode was recorded in the more relaxed atmosphere of my quarters as opposed to the clinical studio where we've previously Podcasted from. So if you want to know about the XBOX360, William Shatner's latest Ebay sale or the Terminator TV series then go here.

Braga; now you can crawl back into your hole!

Brannon Braga's sci-fi show Threshold has been cancelled by CBS. I'm absolutely delighted. I wanted him to fail so badly- now I got my wish. Apparently the ratings for Braga's show were even worse after they changed it from Friday to Tuesday and that was the nail in the coffin for the network.

Braga, you murdered a good friend of mine (Star Trek), now you've no supporters, fans or even a show, you can fuck off now! Why not release your wasted life energy into the cosmic pool where it can be used by someone with more to offer the world.

With the news that he would not be continuing as a Star Trek producer and that his partner in crime Rick Berman would also be leaving Trek behind him after the next movie, this is turning out to be a very good week indeed.

Wrecks Review

I was TWELVE FEET from Ed Harris!

I fulfilled an ambition this evening, I saw my 2nd favourite actor of all time: Ed Harris, in the flesh.

Ed was performing a preview of the world premiere of "Wrecks" in the Everyman Palace Theatre here in Cork. Written by Neil Labute whom I honestly never heard of until 4 hours ago, Ed carries the drama all by himself, no mean feat. The 54-year-old actor plays Eddie Carr, a man whose wife has just died and who is reminiscing alone about their life together, and their unique love for each other, while family and friends mourn in the next room.

I can honestly say I've never been more impressed by anything I've seen on stage, not that I'm there every week, but I wasn't sure a one-man play (even with Ed) would grab my attention like this did. There was times I could almost believe that I was there with this man in the funeral home listening to him tell me about his life and the life of his wife. So much so that I was completely unprepared for the ending.

I emerged from the theatre almost speechless and I will never forget the powerful performance and well written drama that unfolded before me tonight. Both Labute and Harris deserve the highest of praises for Wrecks which continues from tonight until Dec 3rd. Go here.

50 Cent's marketing ploy!

While I could never listen to his "music", I do have some admiration for someone who's been shot more times than I have! The Rapping artist known as 50 Cent has released a bloodthirsty and extremely violent video game "50 Cent: Bulletproof" which has been given the M for 'Mature' (Over 17) rating in the US (and will most likely be attributed an 18+ here) for blood, gore and sexual themes.

Mr. Cent wants parents to buy it and use it as a teaching tool. I'm not joking!

Teen shags dummy!

Sometimes while reading the news I see a strange headline and have to read it again before realising that my filthy male mind manifested somthing completly different there and it's actually harmless (Unless you're reading The Sun in which the editors are paid to create innuendo with every headline). This time however what I read was real.

Night Vision Goggles for Potter Police

"Why the hell is the Colonel referencing Harry Potter tonight?" I hear you ask. Well, while I can safely say that I was thouroughly un-entertained by the Potter movies I have seen and I'm about as motovated to going to see the fourth installment as I am about going to a Greenpeace rally.

What I do want to say is that I'm most impressed with the Intense efforts by 20th Century Fox to prevent bootleggers from camcording Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Apparently they distributed thousands of night-vision goggles to theater staffs throughout the world and promised rewards to any employee catching a moviegoer in the act of camcording the movie.

Hang on a sec: NIGHT VISION GOGGLES!!!!! How fucking cool is that????! I want some Night Vision Goggles too godammit!!!!. Not that I want to give anyone any ideas for Christmas presents or anything....

Lucas spells death-knell for DVD

In a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the great George Lucas has said that DVD will be replaced with Pay-Per-View.

"It's the way kids do it today. It's how you do it on your iPod: They just download it. You pay 99 cents for music, and movies will be like two bucks. That will definitely change the economics of the business because (studios) are losing money now."

I'd better get my DVD collection packed up to sell now. Anyone want some?

The Prisoner

Sky One is believed to be planning a new show based on The Prisoner a cult series that ran for 17 episodes on ITV in 1967, which starred Patrick McGoohan (left) as a former secret agent trapped in an isolated town.

The show will not take place in the famous "Village" setting of the original—shot in north Wales but it is understood the themes of paranoia, conspiracy and identity crisis will remain.

The executive-producer of the show for Granada said the new series would take "liberties with the original" and would not retain its arty feel. It's reported that Bill Gallagher, the writer of the BBC's crime drama Conviction, is reported to be writing the new version.

I'M BACK

Miss me? I was away for a few days of meditation before the Christmas rush, to re-energise myself. It's all go now!

Congratulations to the unknown Canadian who was visitor number 1000 a few days ago!

More facinating statistics

Someone mentioned last week that I didn't publish any visitor infomation to "The Colonel's Eagle" for last week. This is basically because I didn't intend it to be a regular feature, but here it goes for this weeks visitors.

As you can see there's been some hits from such far off lands as Finland, Qatar, Singapore, Korea (South) and several hits from a number of South American countries.

Sith Apologist demanded browser details, as he "did his bit" for Firefox. I think he certainy did as Firefox has risen from 5% to 28.57% of the type of browser that people used to access this site last week. Various incarnations of IE still naturally have the lions share at 63.26% the remainder is divided between Netscape and Safari. Mozilla and Opera have vanished.

And yes, the US Military visits here have increased...

Joes remember their own on Veterans Day!

The members of Counter Terrorist Group Delta known to most as G.I.Joe: America's daring highly trained special mission force, held their own Veterans Day ceremony at noon yesterday. Presiding over the ceremony was Brigadier General J. Flagg, son of the original G.I.Joe commanding general who lost his life to the evil arms-dealer Destro during a battle in Washington in 1983.

The flag was raised and saluted to remember all the Joes who had fallen in battle with Cobra: A ruthless terrorist organisation determined to rule the world.
(Picture shows left to right:- Chief Warrant Officer 4 Edward W. "Torpedo" Leialoha representing the US Navy, Major Brad J. "Ace" Armbruster of the USAF, Gunnery Sergeant Wendell A. "Leatherneck" Metzger, USMC, First Sergeant Conrad S. "Duke" Hauser representing the US Army, Lieutenant General Clayton M. "Hawk" Abernathy (sitting) US Army, former Commanding Officer of G.I.Joe who was paralysed recently when shot in the back by Cobra Commander, General Joseph B. "G.I.Joe" Colton US Army, Commanding Officer G.I.Joe and Brigadier General James Longstreet Flagg III, US Army, son of the original G.I.Joe commanding general- B.Gen. Lawrence Flagg, who was KIA battling Cobra over 20 years ago. Flag held by Sergeant Major Ettienne R. "Gung-Ho" Lafitte, USMC)

The memorial speech for fallen Joes was given by Colonel "Whopper" Creedon who himself once served as the MOUT Operations Commander for the G.I.Joe team. While Col.Creedon's speech was far too long to reprint here, he did make special mention of the Joes who had recently fallen in battle:

"We must never forget the sacrifices given by our comrades who laid down their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our freedom in a democratic and just society. Since the Global War On Terror began; 8 more brave and courageous men and women from our armed forces who united under our common goal to rid the world of tyranny, terrorism and oppression sadly lost their lives.

Corporal Wilmer S. "Hardball" Duggleby, US Army Infantry
Sergeant First Class Allison R. "Lady Jaye" Faireborn, US Army Intelligence
Petty Officer Second Class Dwane A. "Rampart" Felix, US Navy Coastal Defence
Sergeant Anthony S. "Flash" Gambello, US Army Electronics
Chief Petty Officer Christopher R. "Tracker" Groen, US Navy SEALS
Sergeant First Class Jane "Glenda" Mullighan, US Army Air Corps
Staff Sergeant Blaine L. "Mainframe" Parker, USMC Electronics
and
Sergeant Phillip M. "Chuckles" Provost, US Army CID

Least we not forget their ultimate sacrifice in the name of peace. The death of a friend and colleague may diminish us as a whole, but it will serve only to strengthen our resolve. We will never give up, we're always there, fighting for freedom over land, sea and air".

Superman Returns

Thanks be to Christ that Nicholas Cage's version of Superman was never realised. I firmly believe he would have done for the Superman what George Clooney did for Batman. I think it would have been hard for anyone to replace the late great Christopher Reeve, and impossible for someone as limited as Cage, shit I'd have even accepted Dean Cain over him.
With Tom (Clark Kent in Smallville) Welling not wanting to don the tights and cape of Superman, WB and director Bryan Singer selected a newcomer Brandon Routh to play the Man Of Steel.

However unlike the most recent Batman film, Superman Returns is not an origin story. Apparently after a mysterious absence of several years, Superman comes back to Earth. While an old enemy plots to render him powerless once and for all, Superman faces the heartbreaking realization that the woman he loves, Lois Lane, has moved on. Superman's return challenges him to bridge the distance between them while finding a place in a society that has learned to survive without him. In an attempt to protect the world from destruction, Superman embarks on an epic journey of redemption that takes him from the depths of the ocean to the far reaches of outer space.

Okay so the plot is hokey, but here's some good news: Kate Bosworth will be Lois Lane and Kevin Spacey himself will be Lex Luthor!!!! AND wait for it: Marlon Brando will reprise his role as Jor-El, Superman's real father- via some clever special effects and restored deleted footage from his original appearence over 25 years ago!!! WOW!! Superman will Return in this part of the world in mid July next.

Nov 11th Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day in the US. A day of prades and speeches, a day of rememberence and appreciation for all the servicemen and women who have taken part in the defence and security of the US from the forces of evil. It's a day to remember those who fought in wars past and current conflicts, for those who risked their lives and lost them. You will not be forgotten.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY USMC

Today is the 230th Birthday of the USMC. I'll just post this message now from the Commandant. Semper Fi!

ON NOVEMBER 10TH, 1775, THE SECOND CONTINENTAL CONGRESS RESOLVED TO RAISE TWO BATTALIONS OF CONTINENTAL MARINES MARKING THE BIRTH OF OUR UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS. AS MAJOR GENERAL LEJEUNE'S MESSAGE REMINDS US, THE ENSUING GENERATIONS OF
MARINES WOULD COME TO SIGNIFY ALL THAT IS HIGHEST IN WARFIGHTING EXCELLENCE AND MILITARY VIRTUE. EACH NOVEMBER AS MARINES THE WORLD OVER CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF OUR CORPS, WE PAY TRIBUTE TO THAT LONG LINE OF "SOLDIERS OF THE SEA" AND THE ILLUSTRIOUS LEGACY THEY HAVE HANDED DOWN TO US.
THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN ONE OF CONTINUOUS COMBAT OPERATIONS OVERSEAS AND DISTINGUISHED SERVICE HERE AT HOME - A YEAR OF CHALLENGES THAT HAVE BROUGHT OUT THE VERY BEST IN OUR CORPS. IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN, MARINE COURAGE AND MASTERY OF COMPLEX AND CHAOTIC ENVIRONMENTS HAVE TRULY MADE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF
MILLIONS. MARINE COMPASSION AND FLEXIBILITY PROVIDED HUMANITARIAN ASSISTANCE TO THOUSANDS IN THE WAKE OF THE SOUTH EAST ASIAN TSUNAMI, AND HERE AT HOME, MARINES WITH AAVS, HELICOPTERS, AND SOMETIMES WITH THEIR BARE HANDS SAVED HUNDREDS OF OUR OWN FELLOW AMERICANS IN THE WAKE OF HURRICANES KATRINA AND RITA. ACROSS THE FULL SPECTRUM OF OPERATIONS, YOU HAVE SHOWCASED THAT MARINES CREATE STABILITY IN AN UNSTABLE WORLD, AND HAVE REINFORCED OUR CORPS' REPUTATION FOR SETTING THE STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE.
THE SENSE OF HONOR, COURAGE, AND PATRIOTISM THAT EPITOMIZED THOSE WHO ANSWERED THAT FIRST CALL TO ARMS 230 YEARS AGO IS STILL INDELIBLY IMPRINTED ON OUR RANKS TODAY. IN COMMEMORATING OUR ANNIVERSARY, LET US STRENGTHEN OUR TIES TO THE PAST BY PAYING HOMAGE TO THOSE WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US. AS WE HONOR THE SACRIFICES OF OUR WOUNDED AND FALLEN COMRADES, OUR COMMITMENT TO ONE ANOTHER REMAINS UNSHAKABLE. WE TAKE SPECIAL PRIDE IN THE ACTIONS OF THE MARINES NOW SERVING IN HARM'S WAY, AND REDEDICATE OURSELVES TO THE SERVICE OF OUR NATION AND OUR CORPS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARINES, SEMPER FIDELIS, AND KEEP ATTACKING!

M.W.HAGEE, GENERAL, U.S. MARINE CORPS, COMMANDANT OF THE MARINE CORPS.

The Colonel survives frozen iPod scare!

The other day my iPod (named Apollo on VerTecXneT after the god of music) froze. For want of a better word it crashed! It was a terrifying experience, the iPod device has revolutionised the way people listen to music the world over and certainly personally it has negated the need for carrying CD’s and awkward portable CD players which can take up almost 5 times the space of an iPod.
Anyway after I unplugged Apollo from Hyperion recently it neglected to turn over control of its interface to me; i.e. the clickwheel didn’t work. I found this odd, but I was aware of the procedure to automatically reset it, so I wasn’t fazed. I attempted to reset it by pressing the MENU and SELECT buttons simultaneously which is SOP for a frozen iPod. This however did not work. I found this curious, but I persevered and re-attempted the operation, but again nothing. A quick search on the internet revealed that it sometimes only works if you have the unit plugged into a power supply using the AC adaptor as opposed to Hyperion’s powered firewire connection, so I gave that a go, but to no avail.

My distress level was admittedly rising a bit at this point, but I wasn’t about to give up, as a Marine, I’m incapable of surrender. Another option the internet revealed was to open up the iPod and disconnect the battery. As without the battery, the iPod will loose its internal memory and ‘forget’ it was frozen. Now if you’re familiar with an iPod you also know there are no screws or any visible way to get into the internal working of the thing, so before I tell you what I did next I’ll give you a warning:
Opening your iPod will completely invalidate your warranty- you’ll have no recourse. If you send it to Apple after it has been opened by a non-Apple individual they will charge you the price of a new iPod to ‘repair’ it. In reality they just send you a new one.
Also, opening the iPod is quite easy for someone like me whose ego allows him to believe that he’s a technical genius (which I am), and someone who is apprehensive or fearful about tinkering with highly valuable microelectronic components has no business whatsoever in attempting to open one.
I was going to post a link to a website that details how to open an iPod, but then you could come back to me and saw “you said if I followed these instructions I could open my iPod and…” well you get the idea.

To shorten this post, let’s just say opened Apollo, located the battery and disconnected it from the motherboard. I left it off for about 20 minutes leaving any residual charge in the components dissipate. When everything was back together, I was filled with anticipation as I awaited the little Apple logo on screen and for it to go back to the main menu, but alas, it didn’t; instead it returned to its previous frozen state.

It appeared I had exhausted all viable options I could locate on the internet. It was time to seek a higher power, the man from whom I learned to do all of this, I speak of Mark. Mark's solution was to update Apollo’s software to the very latest release and wipe the memory entirely- THEN remove the battery and see what happened. When that didn’t work he simply offered his condolences at the ‘loss’ of my iPod and was a bit peeved that I would have to get a new video-capable iPod (as they don’t make my model any more) and thus be technically superior to him.

At this point I felt the need to paraphrase Sherlock Homes “when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cause.” It wasn’t the software in the iPod, or the hard disk being stuck, so I was forced to conclude that it must have been the click wheel itself was at fault. I was dubious that even my vast experience and knowledge would be enough to able to repair a defective component deep within the inner workings of an iPod, but the only alternative was having to buy a new one, so I reached for my tools one more time and again began to dissect Apollo piece by piece.

It was not until after I had removed the motherboard from the device that I could finally see the issue that had plagued me since this began. Somehow a miniscule metal contact strip leading from the rear of the click wheel assembly has become disconnected from the motherboard. Don’t ask me how. I would understand if it happened AFTER I opened the Apollo, but it obviously had disconnected itself beforehand, leading to the initial problem.

With the help of a tiny tweezers I was able to reseat the metal strip into its home slot on the motherboard, reconnect all the other components and seal Apollo once again. I was overjoyed when switched on again it asked me to choose an operating language (because I had wiped the memory and the device had to be set up all over again) which I was able do with my now-functioning click wheel.

Another crisis averted by Colonel “Whopper” Creedon.

Alba is whore!

Jessica Alba is upset because she's being typecast, because of the roles she's being offered. The Sin City actress is grateful for the opportunities she has been given in Hollywood - but would kill for the parts offered to rival actress Natalie Portman.

She said today: "The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid. I get all those screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.' Somehow, I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

No it isn't Jess, 'cos Portman can ACT. Now you just sit there and look beautiful, that's what your paid to do. Silly bint!

I've achieved fame!

"When someone writes about you, whatever it is, you're famous".
Edward Bennett c1962

Cubaboy has written this hilarious article. I hope some TV producer sees this and gives him a job. It'd be better than some of the shite that they put on nowadays.

Scarlett to wear loin cloth?

Scarlett Johansson (The Island) is set to star in a new action adventure film called Amazon, according to Variety.

Apparently she came up with the idea herself while filming The Island. She reportedly mentioned the concept to screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci, who are producing the project.

The film, set in 200 B.C., will reportedly center around Johansson who plays a "gladiatrix" who takes on an army that destroyed her homeland.

Somebody pinch me...

Les Miserables II: This Time It's War

I pay very little attention to France, a nation of stuck-up, boring and cowardly people bogged down in snobbery, one-upmanship, producers of wine that I find substandard to their Spanish neighbours lead by a leader who says too much when he should shut the fuck up and this week, becomes mute when he should have been addressing the nation.

You see right now, for the first time during my lifetime anyway, France has become interesting.

Nightly rioting, violence and destruction reign in France now. It started when two youths were electrocuted after being perused by police into a power station. There was outrage from their peers and they went mental, burning cars, smashing windows and whatnot. They attracted support from some like-minded members of the racial minorities, the Blacks and Arabs and are now in their twelfth night of anarchy.

I blame the politically correct, liberal and leftist politicians and their confused minds. They encourage immigrants to maintain their cultures and identities and then they expect them to integrate; which of course they don’t. Now they’re paying the price for their lack of vision. Thankfully this issue has arisen in France first and not a ‘real’ country like the UK or even Ireland, so now steps can be taken to prevent similar occurrences of this phenomenon elsewhere.

Now most immigrants I know are decent, hard working and law-abiding citizens, but I think it best for safety’s sake that different members of the same immigrant race are not allowed to live within 1km of each other. I think this would encourage more integration by them and eliminate these ‘ghettos’ that exist in France where even the police don’t dare to tread. Any bad eggs should be weeded out after a period of surveillance and either sent packing from the country or ‘disappear’. We have enough of our own “scum” as Minister Nicolas Sarkozy put it so delicately.

As for France, I can only hope that a peaceful resolution to the conflict isn’t found. I’d prefer for an example made of the rioters, probably deploying the military and failing that, perhaps some bombs being dropped. You must remember it’s only France; it’s not as if anything valuable will be lost.

The Upgrading continues

Well I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I should get this operation finished soon enough now as I've got a couple of weeks off work.
Orion, Prometheus, Agamemnon and Perseus have all been altered considerably. Magnus has been completly cannabalised and officially decomissioned and it's processor will join my very first PC (Control)'s processor in a frame on my wall as of this week.

2IGTV Episode 8

Poor Mark went a day and a half without sleep before recording this episode. I'm kicking myself for not taking advantage of it more. Not evey episode can be gold folks.

USMC to join USSOCOM

Today is a bright day for the Corps. Donald Rumsfeld announced yesterday that the United States Marine Corps will create an element to officially join the United States Special Operations Command for the first time.

For as long as I remember the Marine hierarchy standpoint on Special Operators has been that they consider the most basic Marine a special operator, the Marines were elite already, so why join SOCOM? So in 1986, the Army, Navy and Air Force went off pooled their resources and integrated their spec. ops. forces like Delta Force, Rangers, SEALS and Combat Controllers into the newly established SOCOM, while the USMC created their own independent Force Recon elements and trained some of their MEU's to be Special Operations Capable. The Corps didn't want to turn control of Force Recon over to SOCOM because it was felt that their skill was required to fulfil the fundamental mission of the USMC.

This arrangement worked for about 15 years until some bastards hijacked planes and flew them into the WTC and the Pentagon. The SOCOM operators went off to Afghanistan ahead of the main of the main force and had some fun. While a handful of Marines have been working with Special Operations in a Joint capacity, the then-Commandant General James Jones had an idea then and decided he'd have a little 'conversation' with the USSOCOM Commander, Air Force General Charles Holland and decided it was time to close ranks.

It was 2003 however before Marine Detachment One (MAR-DET-1) joined NAVSPECWAR (Navy SEALS) on training exercises to deploy as part of SOCOM. The 83-Marine strong (with 4 Navy corpsmen) was the first unit to integrate with SOCOM. I noticed also that in October of the previous year, a Marine General was appointed as Chief of Staff and Director of the Center for Command Support, U.S. Special Operations Command! I didn't think this was coincidental then as I remembered it as I read the news today and I see what was going on now. The aforementioned Marine General was one Brigadier General Denis Hejlik, the same general whom has just been appointed as head of the new MARSOC (Marine Special Operations Command).

I said a few weeks ago that there would be big things in store for the Corps when Pete took the big chair, I didn't think it would be only 30 days later though. Hmmm MARSOC will have about 2600 men and hefty slice of the lovely SOCOM budget- I wonder if they'll need a Colonel?

Galactica set for third year

The best new sci-fi show this century is getting a thrid season. Battlestar Galactica has surpassed all expectations and with this renewal, will even surpass in quantity the amount of episodes of it's original incarnation as it has done in quality.

The science fiction remake began as a miniseries two years ago but was expanded into a television series after meeting with acclaim and impressive ratings. Galactica continues to be the Sci Fi Channel's top shows week after week. In fact, 7 of the channel's top 10 most-watched broadcasts in 2005 were episodes of Galactica.

In the meantime, the show is preparing to resume its second season this January after a mid-season break. More when it returns...

Michael Piller dies

The man may have been co-responsible for creating Star Trek: Voyager, but unlike Rick Berman and Brannon Braga- I don't know anyone who wanted him dead.

Sadly Mike Piller, at age 57, lost a battle with cancer yesterday that most of his collegues didn't even know he had. He remained quite active in television until recently and his shows Wildfire and The Dead Zone have been renewed for 2nd and 5th seasons respectively. I'll always think of him as the man who co-created Deep Space Nine- the best of the Star Trek shows.

I can only hope and pray that Berman and Braga will share a similar fate as poor Mike and die horribly of cancer as they were a cancer on Star Trek for the past several years and effectively killed it... for now.

Stallone To Make New Rambo Movie

I know the man's almost 60 but as he's going to do a final Rocky movie as well he may as well return to the Army boots and bandana of John J. Rambo in "Rambo IV".

The plot (as if that matters for a Rambo movie) is a bit vague at the moment: John J. Rambo retired into a quiet life until he comes out of seclusion to track and recover a missing girl".

The movie will be shot between Mexico and the United States. Filming is scheduled to start in the spring.

That's about all I have. More when I get more.

To tired to title this

Well thankfully the Cork Guiness Jazz Festival is over so I guess it's time to sober up and get back to it here.

It 's facinating the difference a week can make to a site's traffic, as evidenced by this new chart.

The UK has lost it's lead in visitors and is just slightly behind Ireland, but I've a lot of 'fans' in the US. (Admittadly I just came up in generic searches for Stargate, Star Wars, Marine Corps etc.)

I've even been vistited from the French!!! :O

IRON MAN in 2007?

"Marvel superhero Iron Man looks likely to revert back to the comicbook publisher after more than two years of fruitless development [at New Line]," according to Variety this week.

Well, this is consistant with what I've been reading over the past couple of months. Basically Marvel has been waiting out New Line's option on Shellhead, hoping for a better deal from them. If not then Marvel could take the project elsewhere. What this could mean for David Hayter's screenplay and the involvement of director Nick Cassavetes remains to be seen.

So where wight Iron Man end up at? It's anyones guess but certainly a possibility is that Iron Man becomes part of the much vaunted Marvel-Paramount co-venture. Marvel Studios chief Avi Arad listed Iron Man among the projects that were part of that deal in this years Comic-Con, however the project is stalled pending the resolution of New Line's option on the material.

Everyone knows Tom Cruise has long wanted to play Tony Stark but couldn't make a deal with New Line or work out his busy schedule to fit in the project. Cruise is very much part of the Paramount family, having starred in their successful Mission: Impossible franchise. If Iron Man does indeed leave New Line and end up at Paramount, perhaps Cruise might be reapproached.

Watch this space, as Iron Man is my favourite Super-hero above even Batman or Spiderman, I'll bring you the news as soon as I hear.

Next she'll be admitting to touching the Whizzinator!!!

Dumb blonde Paris Hilton has slammed reports she denied ever meeting Tom Sizemore, but insists she has never had sexual relations with the troubled actor. In new sex video, Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal, the Black Hawk Down star alleges he had a one night stand with Hilton after a party at his house in 2001, when the hotel heiress was 19.

Hilton quickly rushed out a statement denying his claims, saying, "He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him."

However, after Vivid Entertainment - the producers of Sizemore's sex tape - released a photo of the pair at the actor's house in 2001, Hilton insists she has been unfairly portrayed as lying about ever meeting him. Her new publicist Jack Ketsoyan says, "We never said she never met him. She never slept with him and he's not an acquaintance of hers. She doesn't even know who that other girl in the photo is. To me, 'acquaintance' means that you're not friends; you've met in the past but that's pretty much it. She doesn't remember the party at all."

I'm well used to her kind, what I get out of this statement is: if she doesn't remember the party at all she was obviously to pissed to remember bedding Sizemore!

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION

A friend of mine dragged me to see Underworld a couple of years ago at 6PM on a weekday. I don't go to the cinema on weekdays, but he insisted. So I went to see it anyway expecting "another Vampire movie".

Boy was I wrong! Underworld was one of the best movies I had ever seen, period. It had the perfect amount of action, edged-weapons, blood, automatic weapons, slow-motion Matrix-style photography, spent cartridges and of course the delectable Kate Bekinsale as Selene, the Vampire Death Dealer who shook up the aristrocratic decadent world of her kindred by forming an alliance with Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman) a hybrid of Vampire and Lychen (Warewolves). Needless to say I quickly ordered the Unrated, extended Directors cut of the film from the US as soon as it was available.

In January 2006, UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION the sequel will hit the flicks. Appearently we will see a lot of the backstory of both Selene and Viktor, as well as the aforementioned action elements of the original. I'm already salivating.

Now why can't all goths look like Selene? The perfect female form poured into a sinfully tight black PVC number, sapphire blue eyes, deshevilled raven coloured hair and a stainless-steel slide on her Walther P-99 9mm automatic pistol.

Because then the rest of the females on the planet would be ignored by man.

Grab the trailer to Underworld: Evolution only on Yahoo Movies.

Mr. Sulu comes out

It has emerged officially today that George Takei the 68 year old actor best known as Lt. Sulu in the original Star Trek TV series (and later Captain Sulu in the Star Trek movies) is a homosexual.

I can't say I was shocked to read this to be quite honest. I recall going all the way up to Dublin about 13 years ago now to a big Star Trek convention there and I met the man in person and I'll admit, I've never met a nicer more courteous bloke. He must have signed something in the region of 1000 autographs in the couple of days he was there and he still had time to sign my USS Excelsior blueprints.

I can only hope that Howard Stern (the US version of Cubaboy) isn't too unkind as he regularly just calls Takei on his car phone just to listen to his cool and mellow voice.

Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis to get renewed.

This in from scifi.com. Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis to get renewed. The longest running Sci-Fi show ever: Stargate: SG-1 and it's spin-off show Stargate: Atlantis are to get 10th and 3rd seasons next year respectively.

Stargate: SG-1 recently took a new direction with the departure of Richard Dean "MacGyver" Anderson from the show when his character Jack O'Neill was promoted to Major General and was transferred to Washington to head the Earth Defense programme (god help the earth)! Farscape's Ben Browder took command of SG-1 as Lt.Col. Cameron Mitchell and veteran actor Beau Bridges (left) is Major General Hank Landry the new SGC commander. A seemingly invincible new enemy, The Ori was revealed also in season nine and I'm sure the writers, producers and the cast are happy that their new dynamic and tale won't end this year.

The one place in the universe, I'm never going is to the Lost City of the Ancients, or Atlantis as it's better known as. Why? Because not one, but both of the US Marine Colonels who have ventured there- Col. Marshall Sumner (Robert Patrick) (left) and Col. Dillon Everett (Clayton Landrey) (right) have had their life energy sucked out of them and they died horribly. While I personally dissapprove of the fact that the Atlantis mission is administrated by civilains, I'm not volunteering to oust that administration any time soon.

Being a bad place for my peers notwithstanding, I think Atlantis has found feet this year and is gaining strength. Much owing to the new dynamic of Mitch (Asst.Dir. Skinner in X-Files) Pileggi as Col. Steven Caldwell (An Air-Force Colonel- so he doesn't die) the commander of the Daedalus, the Prometheus' sister-ship constructed with the aid of the Asguard.

While we still have to wait until January for the second half of the current seasons of both shows, at least we have a whole season of each to look forward to.

Cubaboy Strikes Back!

Steve has a new "improved?" blog here.

He's promising "fun puzzles" now.

Congratulations to Cubaboy on being the 500th visitor to my Blog at 08:47 GMT yesterday.

I can do no more then this to be quite honest. Visit blogsbystephen at your own risk...

Red 6 becomes one with the force.

Actor William Hootkins who played a minor yet oft' discussed role as Jek "Red6" Porkins in Star Wars IV: A New Hope passed away after a battle with cancer at age 58.

Although he had a small part as an X-Wing pilot who bravely assaulted the original Death Star before being shot down, he was loved by Star Wars fans worldwide and naturally has his own action figure- one which I have as yet to add to my collection.

Rogue Trooper comes to PC

Rogue Trooper was always my favourite 2000AD strip, now it's going to be a game.

Rogue Trooper is a third-person action game with squad combat elements for the comic's hero to command when in battle.

"On the hostile planet of Nu Earth, there are tales of a lone warrior. A man who appears out of thin air to take out whole platoons, then disappears back into the shadows. In the centre of a futile war, one man can swing the balance: the ultimate soldier and last survivor of the massacred Genetic Infantrymen, hell-bent on revenge ... the Rogue Trooper. "

Rebellion fucked up Judge Dredd's video game so I'm going to reserve judgement on SCi's (Carmageddon) effort for Rogue Trooper.

Zombies are here. Be prepared!

One of the finest news-sources on the planet "The Onion", has just released an article detailing the inadequate defences in the city of Pittsburgh, which indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. It provides from some sobering reading here.

I myself am a veteran of many attempts by the undead to walk the earth but usually these incursions are on a small scale limited to secret underground military installations. The true danger nowadays is that they could surface during the day and learn to use weapons armour or even vehicles or some freaky shit like that.

The end of this month is a prime time for them to 'surface' and feed off the living so I'd suggest arming yourself with something deadly, anything that could remove a head would be good, but a few well judged whacks with a hurley should do the job too.

Be aware as well of young zombies posing as "Trick or Treaters". I came accross one poor fucker who got his arm bitten off by a group of them one year before my team arrived to liquidate the little shits! So if they do call to your door this year I'd suggest crowning them with a hurley before they do their thing- if it does turn out to be a genuine kid: just think of the fortune you save the parents in the future on schooling and college fees.

2IGTV Episode 7

The latest episode of 2IGTV is now online here. We recorded a special ultra-long bumper edition of the show on Sunday evening as circumstances prevented us from recording one within our projected 10-12 day timeframe. There's too much content to go into here, you should know the kind of podcasting gold you get now anyway...

Sunday, A Day of Rest.

This graph shows distribution of visitors to "The Colonel's Eagle".

As I'm still in the recovery stages of my 30th Birthday celebrations, I've just been taking it easy looking at some of my visitors statistics to this page today and I've found a few intresting things I'd like to share with you all.

Firstly, an 'unfortunate' 88% of surfers are using IE to browse, 5% Firefox, Safari 2% and the remaining 5% is shared between Opera, Mozilla and Netscape.

Of greater intrest is who is reading this. Well naturally, I know most of the people here, but what about the poor unfortunate people who unsuspectingly find themselves here?

A Canadian visitor was brought here when he asked Mysearch.com "what is the name of the muppet eagle". Another Canadian surfer asked Google "to others before the google folks fix this" as a seach term and he was to the Smurfs post.

An American in Denver, Colorado asked google to find him "colonel war eagle". The "War eagle" is a rare variation of the Colonel's rank insignia (in my logo at the top) where the head of the eagle is facing towards the arrows it's carrying. I suspect he's a collector of militaria like me.

Someone in Dublin did a google on"ciaran creedon" and was naturally brought here, obviously someone who misplaced the URL, remember to bookmark folks!

Someone in Atlanta, Georgia did a 'search.people.com' on Colonel Oliver North and a day later a countryman of his in somewhere called East Wenatchee, Washington googled the term "oliver north said i am innocent". Both were brought to my Oliver North post.

I became apprehensive when I saw that someone from the United States Government Centre for Disease Control in Stone Mountain, Georgia came here from another blog but what really got my attention was the two hits on Thursday last from, someone working for the 347th Communication Squadron of the United States Air Force who came here via a masked path so I can't tell what they wanted, or if they found it :-O

I'm off now to record Episode VII of 2IGTV a special bumper episode since it's been so long since the last one.

Fun from China!

I've only ever had the pleasure of befriending one Chineese national in my entire life, thus far. This however has only cemented my official conclusion that "they're a funny bunch all the same".

Hilton denies romp with Sizemore

Paris Hilton has dismissed Tom Sizemore's claims he slept with her when she was a teenager, insisting she has never even met the troubled actor.

In an interview on his new porn tape (seriously guys this is the first I heard of it too) "The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal", Sizemore says he enjoyed a one night stand with the then 19-year-old Hilton when she begged him for sex after a party. Sizemore goes on to allege hotel heiress Hilton showed him a good time, adding, "She knew what she could do to people." But Hilton, now 24, is appalled by the suggestion she had sexual relations with the 44-year-old, who has been in and out of court fighting drug and domestic abuse charges over the last two years.

"It's disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs. He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him."

I wonder if she came face to face with The Whizzinator? I'm inclined to believe Tom, he's only guilty of beating women up and trying to pass off someone elses urine as his own, Hilton however leaked her own Sex-tape to gain publicity, "that's (not) hot!". Tom on the other hand had the good sence to make one and sell it instead. What a guy!

Another African needs my bank account

"princessfatimah kinghumah"

DEAR FRIEND,

Good day and Compliments to you in the name of our creator Almighty Allah, I am princess FATIMAH D.HUMAH, writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of Allah for you to help me and my family, almighty Allah will bless and reward you aboundantly and you would never regret this.

My family and I are true Muslim and worship Allah truthfully.I got your contact during my search for this assistance. I am a female student from University of Burkina Faso, Ouaga. I am 25 yrs old. I'd like any person who can be carring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you.

I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well,my father died earlier
two months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death. I was a
princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother is not
literateenough to know all my father's wealth.

He left the sum of USD 5.5M (Five Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars)in the bank for security reason.This money was annually paid into my late fathers account from SAHEL BURKINA FASO is a Minining Comany operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction.

I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my consent because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.

Now,I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from the security company to your bank account, That is why I felt happy when I saw
your contact because I strongly believe that by the grace of Allah, you will help me invest this money wisely. I am ready to pay 30% of the total
amount to you if you help us in this transaction and another 10% interest of Annual After Income to you, for handling this transaction for us,which
you will strongly have absolute control over it.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me.Please, note that this transaction
is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction as quick as possible,I will send you my picture as soon as I hear from you for recognition.

Yours sincerely,
PRINCESS FATIMAH HUMAH.(MIS).



Okay, I'll have to admit, I've never been as tempted to respond to a hoax since some fuckers rang my house one day pretending to be Satanists and wondering if my local church would mind hosting a satanic mass- 20 minutes later he hung up believing I was a minister of the Eucharist and secretly a member of the Order of the Demonic Horde.

But getting back to Princess Fatimah: As responding in any way shape or form would be as useless as a handle on a snowball, I've decided instead to post my "reply" here for all to see...


Dear Princess Fatimah,

I am in receipt of your E-mail dated Tue, Oct 18th 2005. You have presented an eloquent, convincing and compelling case for my aid. Before I can set things in motion however, there are a few points in your E-mail that I feel I must address before we begin our "long term relationship".

1) Where in the name of "Almighty Allah" did you get my "contact"? You did a search for assistance!? What kind of assistance? What did you enter into the search engine? "I need a hero"? That would have brought you to Bonnie Tyler lyrics. It came to my Personal private E-mail account, known only to me, my friends and organisations which whom I conduct private business with. I'm very careful to tick the box that does not allow the company to send my E-mail address to every clusterfuck wanting to sell me \/1@Gr/\ or improve my sex-life by adding girth to what is already alluded to as being a most impressive "weapon" by envious male readers of my Blog. So please enlighten me.

2) Do I sound caring, loving or home-oriented to you? Did wherever you got my E-mail address make me sound that way? Tell me so that I can sue for defamation. I find it unlikely that someone would have described ME like that, and I certainly would write up myself to sound like such a pussy. For the most authentic profile of me: EYES RIGHT BITCH!

3) You want a long term relationship with me and to know more about me? in that order?... did you read the profile?

4) Okay this bit, I love: your father's estate is $5.5M? How did he die again? Oh you didn't say did you? Right, anyway, now this money was annually paid into his account from SAHEL BURKINA FASO a mining company which is operating in your locality in return for contributions to youth and community development in your area? So why were they paying your father as well? Was the money just resting in his account before he delivered it to the youth and the community? No, sorry dear the company was probably paying your father off to keep him quiet while they were using the poor youth and community as slave labour in the mines. Now they they've dried up your father had to have an accident when he was enraged that his source of income had dried up too- how's that for a theory? It may also be of intrest for you to know that I have here a list of all 31 legitimate gold-mining companies in your country and guess what? There is no SAHEL BURKINA FASO mining company in operation there at all!!! Isn't that weird?

5) So you want to invest the money abroad, that's great: Removing $5.5m from the coffers of one of the poorest countries in the world where half the population are below the poverty line without some sort of plan is fucking nuts lady.

Also considering that bacterial diarrhoea, hepatitis A, typhoid fever, malaria, schistosomiasis, meningococcal meningitis and of course HIV are in such a high abundance there, I can safely say that I'll never choose of my own free will to be within 10 meters near any of you without a HAZMAT suit, never mind a "long-term relationship".

Here's the most major problem however, you're not that long having become independent from France, you all still speak French, and no one likes the French, so don't expect too much help.

The mighty Allah can't help you now!

Regards,

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon

Media names Sizemore's prosthetic penis

I just read an article that names the apperatus that my 2nd favourite actor of all time Tom Sizemore used to attempt to fake a drug test in July last.

It's apparently called The Whizzinator.

That aside, the Judge seems to be happy with his turnaround and has agreed that if he can stay out of trouble for 3 years, then he can stay out of jail for his latest crimes.

Apparently Sizemore is starting his own reality TV show, dubbed Super Sizemore next year. More on that when I have news.

Spielberg goes interactive

Not content with making his mark on the Medal Of Honor franchise, Hollywood legend Mr. Seveven Speilberg has signed a deal with Electronic Arts (EA) to work on three original video games. He will be the exec producer on the LA-based projects, the first of which is already in progress and has been described as "a next generation game with mass appeal".

He says, "Having watched the game industry grow from a niche into a major creative force in entertainment, I have a great deal of respect for EA's understanding of the interactive format."

The games will appear on the next generation consoles which will be released by Sony and Microsoft to replace their PlayStation 2 and Xbox machines. Neil Young, the head of EA's LA studio, says, "No one is more at the centre of understanding gameplay and great storytelling than Steven Spielberg. Being able to draw from Steven Spielberg's experience in crafting incredible stories and combine that with our view of interactivity means you will have richer fiction, deeper characters and better sense of immersion."

Rummy: Attack! Attack! Attack! Kill! Kill! Kill!

One of my current political heroes, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld had this to say to troops asking about why America is waging the "Global War On Terror".

He replied that it is not the mission of the U.S. military to "cower behind illusory defenses" because "defenses don't work." The only defense, he said, is to go on the offensive, to stop terrorists before they attack America.

"Your mission is to be on the offense; it's to go on the attack," he said. "And that's what our forces are doing: they're engaging the enemy where they live so that they do not attack us where we live."

It's so simple when you look at the world through the eyes of Rummy isn't it?

Blond Bond

This just in from London: Danny Craig is officially the new James Bond. The 37 year old actor will be the 6th actor to to play the British superspy. The next Bond film is "Casino Royale," due in theaters in November 2006.

"I had a couple of martinis when I found out," Craig said.

Craig's name, the subject of speculation for weeks, was revealed as he was whisked down the River Thames aboard a military speedboat to a waterside news conference.

Producer Michael G. Wilson said 200 actors had been considered, but Craig was the only one who had been offered the role.

"I am looking most forward to actually starting getting on with it, and feeling intimidated about pretty much everything," Craig said. "It is a sort of responsibility, but it is also a huge adventure."

Smurfs finally get theirs...

I really wish this was a fill blown episode or movie, but it's just an advert for UNICEF. Apperently they're releasing this advertisment in Belgium to drum up funds to support injured or orphaned children after global conflict. Of course if the conflict was waged properly in the first place there wouldn't be any survivors (I ain't called Whopper for nothin')!

Anyway, it's a 30-second cartoon that depicts "just another smurfy day in Smurf Village. The perpertually perky blue beings frolic around the fire, holding hands and singing that "tra-la-la-la-la-la" tune as bluebirds flutter by and rabbits hop around.

But then the bombs come.

Hundreds of them raining down from warplanes in the sky, wiping out the mushroom-shaped abodes. Amid the fiery explosions, Smurfette is killed. Papa Smurf disappears. As the smoke clears, only an orphaned Baby Smurf remains, sobbing among the corpses."

Does this not sound fantastic? It's like a dream come through. The article here suggests that it may eventually air in Europe. A spokeswoman for the ad-agency said that the wanted to do more graphic scenes of violence : "We wanted something that was real war--Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head--but they said no," she told reporters. I'm doing a search on that agency now I intend having that woman's telephone number by the time I log off this evening- I'm in love...

Poor Bastards

Spare a thought for the poor bastards who have to build this on Christmas morning for their kids (and a thought for their wallet as the thing costs about €400) it has an estimated build time of 7.5 hours for a Lego Expert "Master Builder" -a grade bestowed on me by the Lego club in 1988, but you apparently have to be 16 to construct this- from the looks of it (and last year's Star Destroyer) I'd believe it!!!

The latest from Bruce Campbell

The legendary Bruce Campbell gave an interview to IGN.com earler in the week, it was an interesting read. What I did note was that he and the producers of the Brisco County Jr. TV show have started nagging Warner Bros. to finally release the series on DVD!!!

He also says that there'll be no Evil Dead IV until everyone's ready to be involved! A glance at the IMDB reveals what appears to be an original Evil Dead remake that Raimi is NOT directing, but writing the screenplay, that confirmes Ashton Kutcher! Campbell says we (assuming he and Raimi) will have producing roles, but I don't think it'll turn out as good as the originals which were made with a budget of a few thousand dollars and some sheep guts- and worked. Still it'd be nice to see Kutcher being raped by a tree!!!

Some of Campbell's latest projects include Alien Apocalypse and The Man With The Screaming Brain which was he directorial debut.

Celluloid DOOM!

I've a pretty good feeling that the fourthcoming DOOM movie will be the best Sci-fi movie of the year (remember Star Wars isn't a movie around here- it's a religion). I doubt I'm the only one who's been waiting for this for the past few years if the rampant internet buzz is anything to go by. Even people who don't play games know what DOOM is, it's now a firm part of western civilisation- a cultural icon.

While I think that some of the plot points have been changed around- like a virus creates the demons as opposed to opening a gateway to hell (don't aks me why), basically The Rock (left) and Karl Urban (Eomer in Lord of the Rings) are part of the Space Marine unit assigned to the Martian facility where all hell breaks loose (no pun there).

From looking at the trailers it looks like there'll be a sequence where the camera will take a position similar to where the characters head would be and it's as if you're seeing through the character's eyes just like in the DOOM game- I'm really excited about this as it's never been done before- and it'll give people an idea of the graphics quality we'll be playing with in the future as we draw near to true-photorealistic in-game graphics which are not as far away as people think.

Anyhow, DOOM will be released on October 21st in the US but it looks like people without broadband and bittorrent will have to wait until December 2nd to be DOOMed!!!!

Peter Jackson to produce HALO

This just in! Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings, King Kong) is to produce the live action film adaptation of Bungie's HALO the award winning, record-breaking shooter according to their website. Having only played the demo and although I had to give the game a miss due to time constraints (I can't play everything) I'll certainly be looking forward to this now. The rumour that Ewe Boll is directing the movie is a load of shit, and you can quote me on that!!

VerTecXneT Upgrades

Just doing some upgrading of the secondary and tertiary elements of VerTecXneT, my home network, so updates may be absent for a few days.

Those of you familiar with VerTecXneT may recognise the cases and parts of Magnus, Orion, Prometheus and Agamemnon and a fifth unit (top left) hencefourth be called Perseus, which a friend of mine was going to send to the dump, but I felt it may in whole -or most likely in part, be of some use yet. Don't worry Bellerophron is all ready for Quake IV and Hyperion is functioning splendidly as I'm using it to update this blog as always.

Catch you later folks.

Quake 4 goes gold!

In the Summer of 1998, I (as Colonel Creedon, Space Marine) defeated the Makron and completed Quake II. There was much rejoicing.

But now, more than seven years on, Earth's war against the Strogg is about to continue. There is a new Makron, and Earth is pulling no punches this time: Now there's going to be a full planetary assault on Stroggos as QUAKE 4 is officially gold!!

Activision announced today that the latest in the classic FPS franchise is entering manufacturing and will invade PCs on October 21st.

Developed by Raven Software, QUAKE 4 uses id Software's DOOM 3 engine to pick up where Quake II left off. As Matthew Kane, an elite member of Rhino Squad, players invade the Strogg stronghold, fighting alone, alongside other Marines, and in mechanized walkers and hover tanks. Along with the single-player campaign, QUAKE 4 includes multiplayer action inspired by the speed and feel of Quake III Arena.

It's time to clean the layer of dust off my favourite Quake II weapon, the Hyperblaster and return to Stroggos and finish the job! WHO'S WITH ME??!!!!!

Marine is the new CJCS

General Peter Pace was sworn in as sixteenth Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Sep. 30, 2005. In this capacity, he serves as the principal military advisor to the President, the Secretary of Defense, and the National Security Council. Prior to becoming Chairman, he served as Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff from October 1, 2001 to August 12, 2005. General Pace is the first Marine to serve as Chairman. He also holds the distinction of being the first Marine to have served as the Vice Chairman.

I've been following the career of this man since Somalia in '94 and I knew when he was made the Vice Chair that it wouldn't be long before there was a Marine chairman. While the Chairman has to be impartial to all 4 services (Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force), I think that with a Marine in the hot seat that the Corps will benefit in ways we can't imagine yet.

As visitors to my office at home will know I'll be proud to change the title card under General Pace's photograph on my wall from Vice Chairman to Chairman. I've sent my formal congratulations to General Pace, now you can too with this form. Any questions you have can be posted on the comments underneath, I'll answer all.