Sunday, December 31, 2006

Death of a Tyrant - Happy New Year

I think this is a splendid way to end the year- the glorious execution of Saddam Hussein. A man to be remembered alongside Adolf Hitler as a nutter who tried to defy the might of the USA.

As a parting gift for 2006 - I spent a while looking on the net for a video of his actual death- i.e. hearing his neck snap and hopefully the emptying of his bowels as he died. Sadly this dark and grainy footage taken by an individual present at the "festivities" with a camera phone is all I have of the moment where life leaves this sick and twisted individual.

Delight with me in hearing the cheers of people, free people- delivered from opression to freedom who were present to wish him well (or rather make sure he went) as he took the express elevator to hell. No doubt the man will take up the type of role depicted in South Park where he's Satan's gay bitch for eternity.

If that doesn't work try here.

As you watch this remember that it may take a while, but the US will deliver on it's promises and end the reign of people like Saddam Hussein worldwide. Ooohrah for George W. Bush (this excution is the first stage of a grander masterplan), the U.S.A. and the Marine Corps!

Happy New Year Folks- enjoy the party!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas

Folks, let me just get to the point and wish all who read this- a very Merry Christmas. My one-man campaign against supplies of Jack Daniel's begins now. Have a good one.

Someone else who wishes you a Merry Christmas...

Friday, December 22, 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Sith Apologist Wins iPod

Sith Apologist, a dark lord of the Sith, is the new owner of the iPod which had actually been won by Former Grunt last evening.

In a bizzare turn of events, Former Grunt stated that he was getting a new iPod with video and in fact doubted the would get the opportunity to sell on Apollo after my death as he had suggested in his winning tiebreaker because he knew I would "never be killed by alien bugs anyway because you're too good a Marine and are practically invincible".

Sith Apologist's own tiebreaker (which was ranked 2nd in total results from all three judges) to- I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because ___ was: "I need a constant reminder of how alcohol and court martials result in demotion and handing out freebies to freeloaders."

Congratulations Sith Apologist.

New Transformers Trailer

Get the Transformers Trailer Here

Former Grunt Wins iPod

Former Grunt, who served with me in special ops in Panama and the Gulf War, has won Apollo, my iPod recently offered up as the prize in a competition here in Whopper's Bunker.

He sucessfully answered American Dad as my new animated comedy fix. A panel of three judges voted that he completed the tie-breaker: I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because- with "After he's eaten by alien bugs on a distant world, I'll be able to flog it for a mint!" as the best of the lot. But it was a close race.

In addition to the iPod, Former Grunt also gets countless* hours of entertainment preloaded in the form of episodes of 2IGTV and free technical support from VerTecX21.

Join me in congratulating Former Grunt on his win and thanks to all who participated.

*Can actually be counted

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

2IGTV Episode 32

Mark has no Wii (Sorry I just had to use that - What the fuck were Nintendo thinking?). Snipes is arrested! Damon would be Kirk. New Star Trek animated series? Raimi wants a Shadow! Eragon: Try to cross Star Wars with Lord Of The Rings and you get a pile of steaming shit.
We also discuss The Punisher 2 and the dangers of Wii (snigger!). We also completly spoil the latest episodes of Battlestar Galactica for those that haven't seen it yet and tell you what we are (and are not) looking forward to in 2007.

Download it now!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

This time: they even shot the dog. - Part 4 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

A leeching student accused of robbing a man of two new Playstation 3s on the day of release of the console was killed by police sent to arrest him earlier in the month.

Peyton Strickland, 18, was killed at a house he shared with three roommates. "If this boy would've come to the door, opened the door, we probably wouldn't be talking," New Hanover County Sheriff Sid Causey said.

Roommate Mike Rhoton said Strickland was unarmed, but was likely holding a video game controller in a threatening manner when he went to the door as it was breached by officers.

Asked if the deputies felt their lives were threatened, Causey said that anytime you have a high-risk entry like that, you feel that your life is in danger. He declined to say what made the arrest high risk.

The sheriff said the robbery victim had waited three days in line to buy two Playstation 3 units for $641 each at a Wal-Mart. He was unloading the units at his campus apartment when one man beat him to the ground while another took the PlayStations, Causey said.

Strickland's dog, a German shepherd, also was shot to death. That is however more of a loss than the waster student as many German shepards can be productive in military, police and security occupations.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Yet another insane reality TV show

Erik Estrada and other lesser celebrities have apparently been sworn in as reserve officers of the city police department in Muncie, Indiana, allowing them to carry badges and guns as part of a reality television series.

About 200 people were packed into a Muncie City Hall auditorium for the Tuesday ceremony to swear in the former CHiPs star, along with La Toya Jackson (lesser known sister of Michael and Janet), Jack Osbourne (scruffy offspring of The Lord Of Darkness), Wee Man (of Jackass antics) and Trish Stratus (a WWE bimbo).

"Roll call is at 6 o'clock," Muncie Police Chief Joe Winkle told the celebrities. "Do not be late."

The CBS show, Armed and Famous, being filmed in this east-central Indiana city, population 66,000, follows the celebrities as they enforce the laws alongside city police officers.

Estrada joked with the crowd that people may not recognize him as an officer because he would not be wearing his toupee. He pulled up the back inch of his hairpiece and wiggled it, drawing laughter from the crowd.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

WIN! The Colonel's iPod!

As was recently detailed: A sentence of my recent Court-Martial was that I offer my old iPod (which I named Apollo, after the Greek/Roman god of music) up to you lot.

Apollo is a 4th Generation iPod (with no video functionality) and it is well outside the warranty date, it survived this procedure which invalidated the warranty anyway and but has worked flawlessly since then. There are some nicks and dents and the rear mirrored panel is scratched from use as visible in the photo below. I only replaced my iPod due to 20Gb being insufficient storage for my music. Battery life is still a good 6 hours or more on standard settings. The engraving on the rear of Apollo reads:

Colonel Creedon
Apollo - VerTecXneT

iPods operate in two modes. Audio mode is the normal operation of an iPod where you listen to music/ podcasts/ audio-books on it through headphones. Disc mode allows the iPod to act as an external hard drive and allows data to be stored on it. You can only transfer audio files to listen to in audio mode to an iPod through the iTunes application on your computer. You can transfer data in disc mode to and from an iPod from any compatible computer with or without iTunes.

Included with Apollo are:
-a USB data transfer/power cable (you must have a powered USB 2.0 port on your computer to charge, put audio on or transfer data to and from the iPod).
-the original software disc with a version of the iTunes application which I recommend be updated via a broadband connection as soon as possible.
-the instruction manual in which I've crossed out some sections as they are no longer applicable.

Not included with Apollo (but were included originally):
-a firewire cable and mains power adapter. As Apple no longer supplies these as standard, I didn't get one with Corellon (my new iPod), so you'll have to charge Apollo with the USB 2.0 cable supplied. Alternatively you can get a mains power adapter here.
-the famous "white headphones". Er yeah! You want my earphones after they were in my ears for a couple of years? That's right they ain't white anymore baby! The good news is any standard headphones will work with an iPod but if you want to complete the iPod experience you can get your own pair here.
-the warranty card. Now useless.

Pre-loaded on Apollo will be recent episodes of 2IGTV ready to listen to in audio-mode (and will also be loaded in disc-mode in case you erase the episodes from music-mode).

In accordance with the rules set by the convening authority of the Court-martial and suggestions by yourselves I have created a competition so that one of you; my loyal readers can win Apollo itself.

The rules are simple:
1. You must answer the following question:
What relatively new animated comedy series has The Colonel recently "discovered" and is busy watching the boxed DVD set? Hint: The answer is "discussed" in the latest episode of 2IGTV.

2. Complete the following tie-breaker using less than 20 additional words:
I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because _____________.

Answers must be E-mailed to colonel.creedon(a) [where (a) = @] to arrive no later than December 18th at 00:00 GMT. At that time, once the answer to the question is verified as correct and you meet the requirements listed below; your tie-breaker will be E-mailed to the judges who will deliberate and select using a numerical point system the tie-breakers in order of their preference from the list. The tie-breaker with the maximum votes, including my own, will be the winner.

Entrants must be physically (as few will be mentally) over 18 years of age as of 10th Dec 2006. Only entrants who have posted a comment (using whatever handle) to the Colonel's Eagle, Whopper's Bunker or 2IGTV blogs between December 9th 2005 and December 9th 2006 are eligible. Only one entry per person regardless of multiple personalities. Entries from those with known ties to the U.S. Democratic party, those from people representing any liberal media, paying members of "peace activist"or "environmental tree-huggers" or any of Afghan, Iranian, North Korean or especially French origin will be automatically printed out on soft toilet tissue and "used" personally by the Colonel (i.e; they will not be considered).

So listen to 2IGTV and complete your tie-breakers now, you only have a week, get cracking, that's an order!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

2IGTV Episode 31

In this episode we discover David Eick (not the one that's the son of God) will develop Them! and Ron More is to remake the remake of The Thing. Peter Jackson will do The Hobbit, oh no wait; he's not going to, he is, he's not.... ahem!
Is Eccleston a Hero? Why are Paramount banking on Eddie Murphy? and Gibson is a vain cunt- but he's right!
In technology: Thousands of British iPod "criminals" will soon be transformed into law-abiding citizens - find out how.
Finally find out what new animated television comedy the Colonel is watching- it could win you his old iPod, and discover who Jon Fraveau has exclusively given the Iron Man script to play Pepper Potts.

All this and (not) much more in 2IGTV Episode 31 available here now!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Complete Twat is Biggest Bond Fan

A James Bond fanatic has changed his name by deed poll to match his hero's - and has ridiculously used the title of all 21 films as his middle names. David Fearn is now known as:

James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.

The 23-year-old council worker told The Daily Mirror he wanted to prove he was one of the world's biggest Bond fans, but in my opinion, has only proved he's one of the world's biggest tossers.

"I can't wait for the first time somebody asks what my name is," he said. Well I wish I was around him for the 515th time someone asks him his name and he looses the plot or simply gets fed up and shortens it to James Octopussy Bond or maybe just Pussy.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"You wanna live forever?"

That's a question I scream at new recruits as I push them out of an aircraft on their first solo jump.

Casper Van Dien
, the star of the original Starship Troopers, will be returning to head up Starship Troopers 3, which will be directed by series writer Edward Neumeier, writer of Robocop.

Plans are apparently afoot to shoot next year. Van Dien will return, now as Colonel John Rico. There'll be some new bugs, draft riots and religion will all play a part in what will undoubtedly be an irrelevant "plot". Oh and "the Federation has a new weapon."

Hopefully it'll be a sequel to the original and not Hero Of The Federation (Yes there was a Starship Troopers 2).

Production is scheduled to begin next March.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Obituary: Shirley Walker

Another great musical talent has been extinguished. Shirley Walker, composer of much of the music from Batman's animated adventures, the Final Destination movies has died of an aneurysm at age 61.

Walker was the first woman to receive sole composing credit on a Hollywood studio picture, on Memoirs of an Invisible Man in 1992 and won a Daytime Emmy for her work on the animated Batman series.

Once a piano soloist with the San Francisco Symphony, Walker's first credit was as a synthesizer player on Apocalypse Now. She went on to work as a conductor and orchestrator for Danny Elfman and Hans Zimmer, working on such features as Days Of Thunder, Batman, Dick Tracy and Backdraft.

She wrote robust themes for sci-fi, action and superhero series, including Batman Beyond, Spawn and Space: Above and Beyond. In 1996, she scored John Carpenter's futuristic action film Escape From L.A. and a year later, Robert Butler's Turbulance.

For me, Walker will be best known for one of the greatest scores to an animated motion picture- Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm where she rewrote Batman's theme and created a whole language for her choir to sing:- their own names and the names of Warner Bros. executives backwards.

Ryan Keaveney has an excellent resource including sound clips for Shirley Walker here.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Batty Old Biddy Shot Dead - Part 3 in my "Shoot First, Ask Questions Never" series!

Narcotics officers in Atlanta were justified in returning fire on a 92-year-old woman they shot to death as they tried to serve a warrant at her house. Neighbours and relatives (most-likely drug-pushers) said it was a case of mistaken identity. But police said the woman, identified as Kathryn Johnston, was the only resident in the house at the time and had lived there for about 17 years.

Assistant Chief Alan Dreher said the officers had a legal search warrant and announced themselves but a shootout erupted when they were refused entry and broke down the front door. He said they were looking for a man who sold drugs to undercover agents at her home earlier that day and were justified in shooting as they were fired upon.

- Left: Kathryn Johnston in happier times before the righteous kill.

As the plainclothes officers approached the house, a woman inside started shooting with an old rusty pistol (apparently in perfect working order), striking each of them, said Officer Joe Cobb. One was hit in the arm, another in a thigh and the third in a shoulder. The officers were taken to a hospital for treatment, and all three were thankfully conscious and alert.

Sarah Dozier, the woman's niece, said that there were never any drugs at the house. "My aunt was in good health. I'm sure she panicked when they kicked that door down," Dozier said. "There was no reason they had to go in there and shoot her down like a dog."

I disagree.

Sources: Cnews, Fox News

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Invincible Iron Man

Next January, Marvel Studios and Lionsgate will release the feature-length animated adventure The Invincible Iron Man on DVD. Following the style set by the recent Ultimate Avengers DVD movies, Iron Man will follow the exploits of Tony Stark as he fights against the Mandarin, a resurrected Chinese emperor.

Special features announced are: An Alternate Opening Sequence, "The Origin of Iron Man" featurette, "The Hall of Iron Man Armor" featurette, A Look at upcoming Marvel Animated Feature Dr. Strange and a Trailer Gallery.

According to the Lionsgate press release: "Past and present collide in this epic adventure that reveals the origin of Iron Man. While raising the ruins of a long buried Chinese kingdom, billionaire inventor Tony Stark digs up far more than he bargained for. He unleashes an age-old prophecy that foretells the resurrection of the Mandarin, the emperor of China's darkest and most violent dynasty. In order to confront the destructive force, Tony creates an armored suit infused with high-tech weaponry. To stop the evil that he himself has raised from the earth, Tony must become his greatest invention ever—Iron Man!

"The newly born champion must travel to the four corners of the earth to battle the Mandarin's henchmen, the Elementals—four magical warriors who harness the power of the elements—earth, water, wind, and fire—with deadly chemistry. But is the Iron Knight, as he his known in the prophecy, strong enough to defy fate and turn back the malevolent forces hell-bent on earth's destruction. "

OK, so it's not faithful to the accepted origin of ol' Shellhead but it might be what people need to eradicate the memory of the Marvel Action Hour Iron Man :)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Colonel In Crisis: The Aftermath

The officer formerly known as Captain Rabb (tee hee) has kindly posted the entire transcript of my recent court-martial. So now you can see for yourselves the wonderful US Military justice system at work.

Thanks to all who supported me during the stressful and emotional time during the trial- you will not be forgotten. And to all those who did not support me and even aided the good Captain: You certainly won't be forgotten either, mark my words.

As for me- unfortunately my previous SOCOM assignment was set by statute as an O-6 billet, and therefore I had to relinquish that to a full colonel. However I've a new billet with SOCEUR that I can't tell anyone here about- but I'm okay with it. The UN Security Council are less strict thankfully and have asked that I also remain as Special Operations Director of UNETIDA which means I still have access to an impressive array of modern weapons, vehicles and technology funded by all the UN member states so we can protect them from the threats posed by aliens.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Pat Kenny is an insufferable arsehole and a piece of shit!

Well at least according to this "gentleman" making a modern-legendary performance on last Friday night's Late Late Show...

... It wouldn't have happened in Gay Byrne's day (according to Gay Byrne himself the next day rather churlishly).

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Paris Pukes Rather Than Sing Own Song

What a headline eh? It's true!* Apperently at some rap performance by Shawn 'Jay-Z' Carter, she shocked the Las Vegas nightclub revellers when she got up to perform but ended up vomiting on stage instead.

Joshua Radin was among the guests who went to a nightclub... "Paris Hilton was sitting next to me the whole night. She must have pulled a compact out of her bag every six minutes to stare at herself and pose..."

Radin continued that Hilton had been imbibing straight vodka for hours. When Jay-Z left the stage, she got up on stage prepared to lip sync two of her "songs", vomited on stage and then just left.

Sheer class.

*May not be true. Dont sue me.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

2IGTV Episode 30

So important an issue; Mark doesn't even bother to report that the Microsoft Zune was released. Instead he uses his amazing mind powers to guess what the Colonel's topics are in this hour-long 30th episode and succeeds in guessing that Ron Moore (left) thinks Star Trek would benefit from a BSG-style reboot. The non-existent rumour that Sin City 2 is not going to happen is eliminated. Bryan Singer eyeing Wolverine. Hugh Jackman eyeing The Amateur. Discover what Heath Leger's been reading and who's been cast as the new Bloodrayne, Sarah Conner and Officer Poncherillo in their respective productions. Christopher Walken in you'll-never-guess-who-he's-portraying-now shocker! We report on why the PS3 is extremely bad for your health. Robert Downey Jr. on Iron Man and our respective views on Casino Royale: The Best Bond Ever. (And much more because I know I've left a few things out!).

Get it here.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bush Bottlecaps The Colonel

Colonel Creedon’s flight to Washington yesterday was unexpectedly diverted to Texas by an Executive Order. President George W. Bush, currently on yet another holiday at his Crawford Ranch wanted to personally deliver the Colonel’s recent court-martial sentence.

On arrival at The Western White House, the Colonel was greeted by President Bush who asked the Marine officer for his eagles; the rank insignia of a full-colonel which Creedon relinquished to his Commander in Chief who (after waving at the latest batch of anti-war protestors, presuming they were well-wishers) in turn presented Creedon the silver oak-leaves of a Lieutenant Colonel. “I don’t like doing this to any of you folks” began Bush. “If it wasn’t for folks like you, there’d be no-one to keep the bad folks off my lawn.”

The President said that he’d always wanted to meet the Colonel and was sorry that it was under these circum- stances. “I’d much rather be giving you a medal for beating that Navy-boy at his own game- Aw Hell: I’m the President and I can do whatever I want- have a medal!” and with that as if from nowhere, Bush produced a Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal and presented it to the astonished Marine officer.

Later, President Bush said that while he won’t be in office for much longer, he hoped that the Marine would go out and “do something batshit-crazy – but not get killed” so that he could award a Medal Of Honor to a living veteran. “The world needs heroes” Bush concluded “And I hope that the man in charge after me, whomever he may be – even in the unlikely event he’s a Democrat...” (this brought some giggles from the assembly) “... would take the same honour in returning this Marine his eagles as I have had in presenting him this medal today.”

At this point the Colonel speculated that the next President may be a woman. “You never know sir!” he added. Both men paused looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing at the absurdity of such a ridiculous notion as a female President of the United States.

The Colonel In Crisis: Final Part - Clipped Wings

Well thankfully the final authorised punishment wasn't too harsh:

"as a result you are to receive a reduction in grade to O-5 for 48 months without promotion selection and to enter a training programme which will correct the violation of the Marine Corps Regulation within 12 months. Both sentences to commence concurrently on November 21st 2006.
Furthermore you are to use whatever means at your disposal to donate without possibility of monetary gain or re-imbursement, your MKIV Apple iPod to a worthy cause by Dec 31st 2006- and under the assumption that there are none more worthy than the weirdos who frequent your online blog".

Hey, anything’s better than prison after you lot described it to me :)

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Jedi are at it again!

Two British Jedi, Umanda and Yunyun are delivering a protest letter to The United Nations Association of Great Britain and Northern Ireland asking that the UN officially recognise what is Britain's fourth largest ‘religion’ with 390,000 followers after the last census.

"Like the UN, the Jedi Knights are peacekeepers and we feel we have the basic right to express our religion through wearing our robes, and to be recognised by the national and international community".

They want the UN International Day of Tolerance, which takes place annually on November 16 to be renamed the Interstellar Day of Tolerance’ to reflect millions of people across the globe who have chosen to follow the Jedi code as a religion and truly reflect social diversity.

See the full Daily Mail article here.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Star Trek Enhanced

I'll go out on a limb here and presume that everyone reading this (who cares about it) knows that CBS-Paramount have this year begun to rebroadcast some episodes of the original Star Trek series with some CGI-upgraded SFX shots in a similar vein to what God did in the past few years with the original Star Wars Trilogy. The new CGI footage is mostly limited to external shots of the Enterprise and any other space vessels, planets, space pheonomena, battle sequences, galaxy shots and landscapes (which previously came courtesy of matte paintings) are given more shading, depth and computer-generated believability. The original Alexander Courage-composed score has been rerecorded in stereo and also redone is the opening titles with new digitally recorded score and remastered Shatner monologue.

While the episodes shown are in an order shosen by the fans, they are currently only showing the butchered (syndicated) 40-42 minute edits. However, I've come into some infomation that this remastered Star Trek is only the first step in a larger overhaul of the original series. Apparently the full-length episodes are being restored before editing for syndicated time slots and will no doubt grace HD-DVD at some point in the future.

CBS Paramount executive vice president David La Fountaine said that the episodes are being reworked in both standard definition and HD, with new CGI space shots and matte paintings produced in widescreen. "We may not get this opportunity again, so we would be foolish if we didn’t do it," Le Fountaine explained, saying that fans would have to wait to see the complete versions until all 79 episodes were completed in 2008.

I myself am not all that impressed with their efforts. Unlike Star Wars where God himself was able to edit and redo some of the FX work which he was unhappy with, the Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry has been dead for 15 years and people are "fiddling" with his creation. I'm all for new Star Trek and I'd even accept new actors protraying Kirk, Spock and Bones, but I don't think the original series should be tampered with in this manner even if they are redoing everything almost exactly shot-for-shot.

I can't deny however that the new FX do seem to look much better on the superior quality display equipment we have now in the 21st century- I've taken the liberty of capturing two near identical frames from my original series DVDs against their new enhanced counterparts for you to judge for yourself.

"Star Trek redefined science-fiction and constantly pushed the envelope with concepts that were ahead of their time," John Nogawski, president of CBS Paramount Domestic Television, said in a statement. "By giving the series a digital upgrade using the best technology available today, it will continue to be a leader in cutting-edge television programming as we introduce the series to a new generation of viewers."

Sources: Trekweb, Trektoday, Yahoo, SCI-Fi, TV-Guide,

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Casino Royale: The Best Bond Ever!!!

Hard hitting and gritty, Daniel Craig cements his place in cinema history by rebooting the most famous movie character of all time, British super-spy James Bond with Casino Royale.

I say reboot because this is not the Bond you know from any previous incarnations of the character seen in the movies since before you were even born. The new Bond is taken directly from Ian Fleming's novels and represents the first true faithful representation of James Bond seen on screen.

Fittingly the story is presented as if this is the first major adventure undertaken by the newly minted 007. Gone is much of the things which makes a Bond movie what it is and at times it seems like a generic action picture, but before long something "Bondesque" will shatter that misconception and remind you what you're watching; be it the sharp Bond wit now spewing from Craig's rugged features or a familiar few notes from the musical genius of David Arnold who breaks the bounds of Barry's dated formula serving us something equally fresh but unmistakably Bond. This approach to the movie works exceedingly well and is a perfect way to re-introduce the character.

The film is excessively violent for a Bond movie and I would not recommend it for younger audiences; So violent even the stylistically animated people in the title sequence are brutally killed- I shit you not, this no Roger Moore comedy family entertainment and has none of the high-tech wizardry required to make Brosnan a great Bond- this movie is a straight-faced adult action movie which I instruct everyone go and see.

Independent film-maker Vaughan said "It's the best Bond movie ever" and "I will own it on DVD" ending months of speculation; controversially he added "Craig is better than Connery".

While I do say "told you so", to the multitude of naysayers who ridiculed me when I broke the news here on The Colonel's Eagle that Craig would be the new Bond, I'm not going to be so quick to agree to Vaughan's opinion on him, give me a few more Danny Craig Bonds to determine that, but give them to me now- I can't wait for them.

Colonel Creedon rating: *****

Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Colonel In Crisis: Part VI - The Sentence!

Moments ago...

Colonel Ross: I have reached a sentence. Colonel Creedon, would you and your associate counsel stand up please. For disobeying a regulation of the USMC, This court martial sentences you to be dismissed from the United States Marine Corps.
Colonel Creedon: No!
Actually, although I wasn't expecting such a harsh sentence, I'm not really that worried and I gave a customary somewhat theatrical "No!" during the proceedings.

With the trial over, I can now discuss everything. Luckily, I had hammered out a more lenient sentence in a pretrial agreement with the Secretary Of Defense and Captain Rabb in return for a pleading guilty to the first charge. Rabb was pretty okay with this as the cocky fucker was full sure that he was going to nail me on the second charge, Misbeheviour Before The Enemy- a pity the clown was relying on only the written "testimony" of Sith Apologist who could not be subpoenaed to court as he is a non-military foreign national and refused to testify in person against me (out of fear no doubt) . I easily and dramatically destroyed the testimony in front of an astonished naval JAG.

I'm not out of this unscathed. There'll be a small change around here, pending presidential approval, but with recent political events as they are he'll need to be seen taking action, so he'll have no problem taking me down a peg, if only to continue to appease the damn Demos for next year. If I've learned anything from all of this: Unlike Steven Segal, I'm not above the law...

Before you ask, yes, that is Kevin Bacon- just one of those things I'm only going to explain if I think you really have to know.

Student Shot With Stun-Gun - Part 2 in my "Shoot First, Questions never" series!

In the University Of California, on Tuesday, a police officer shocked a student with a stun gun at a campus library after he refused repeated requests to show student identification and wouldn't leave. The student, Mostafa Tabatabainejad, was shocked at 23:00 as police did a routine check of student IDs at the Powell Library computer lab in UCLA.

"This is a long-standing library policy to ensure the safety of students during the late-night hours," said UCLA Police Department spokeswoman Nancy Greenstein. She said police tried to escort Tabatabainejad, 23, out of the library after he refused to provide identification. Tabatabainejad instead encouraged others at the library to join his resistance, and when a crowd began to gather, police used the stun gun on him, Greenstein said.

Tabatabainejad was arrested for resisting and obstructing a police officer and later released on his own recognizance. He declined to comment Wednesday night. The incident was recorded on another student's camera phone and showed Tabatabainejad screaming while on the floor of the computer lab. It was the third incident in a month in which police behavior in the city was criticized after amateur video surfaced. The other two involved the Los Angeles Police Department.

What the fuck? The cops should have double-tapped the ignorant wanker in the temple with some nine-mil. If he didn't want to show his ID, then he should not have gone in a library where the there is policy in place requiring you to show your ID. He was inciting a riot and disrespecting the law by ignoring the instructions of an identified law-enforcement officer like Rodney King did in those parts not so long ago. It was obvious that he was there to cause trouble as opposed to do anything constructive; to learn - like the tax-paying public are paying him to do. An example should be made of these commie students every now and again by spraying their blood and brain matter over the campus wall - just often enough so they don't go stepping out of line like this imbecile.

That said: I did find the man's screams of pain as he was repeatedly tazed somewhat "musical" to my ears :)

Source: Fox News, NSNBC News, CBS News

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Colonel In Crisis: Part V - The Verdict!

23:24 15-11-06. The verdict is in and I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that I was found not guilty of the charge and specification of Misbehaviour Before The Enemy.

All is not rosey however; sentence must yet be passed in regards to my original charge: Failure to obey an order or regulation. Closing arguments have just been delivered and Col. Ross has called a 24 hour recess to assess information before sentencing.

I'm obviously slightly anxious.


The Colonel In Crisis: Part IV - The Trial Ends

I would hazard an optimistic yet educated guess that I've emerged 50% victorious if you catch my drift, in-so-far-as I would presume that I'll be found not guilty of the charge I've pleaded not guilty to.

After a Colonel Nathan R. Jessep style (well not so much style as rip-off as I'm sure the trial transcrips will show once they're released LOL) argument I was forced to suggest that the "testimony" of the only witness was technically flawed.

In addition, pleading guilty to the other charge where there was a 100% chance I'd be found guilty anyway will probably keep this blog online with crazy portraits in the corner for some time to come.

However, on the other hand, I could be woefully incorrect and it could all blow up in my face and this is one of the final posts of Colonel Whopper Creedon.

Wish me luck, I'll post the verdict here after it's delivered at 23:00 GMT tonight.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

James T. Conway becomes 34th Commandant

Lieutenant General James T. Conway, yesterday recieved his fourth star and in a chilly ceremony at the oldest post in the service, became General James T. Conway, 34th commandant of the Marine Corps.

Gen. Mike Hagee handed command to Conway, passing the Corps’ battle colors to his successor at the Marine barracks in Washington, D.C. “Throughout all the postings and assignments I have had, the one thing I am most proud of is that since 1968 I have been called a U.S. Marine,” said Gen. Hagee who is scheduled to retire in the coming months. His remarks focused not on his career but on the Marines now under Conway’s leadership, calling them “today’s guardians.”

“I can tell you morale is unbelievably high” because Marines know they are doing something very important for this country, Hagee said. In the last four years, the Corps “projected combat power over 400 miles from the sea to Afghanistan,” when doctrine said it could manage only half as many miles, he said. The Corps sent 70,000 Marines and sailors to Iraq in less than 60 days and performed worldwide humanitarian aid in response to earthquakes, mudslides and Hurricane Katrina.

Also attending was Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who said Hagee has “left behind a Marine Corps that under his watch has become the best-led and best-trained.” The SECDEF remarked that “The Marine Corps is fortunate that they have been led by a man with vision and courage and honor,” referring to Hagee. “And it is fortunate to have Conway stepping up.”

He also noted Hagee has led the Marine Corps during some of the organisation’s most challenging times, citing the Marines’ hard fighting in Fallujah, Ramadi and other parts of western Iraq. “Heroes are not in short supply,” Rumsfeld said of today’s Marines. “We can say with pride that many of this nation’s greatest young people are those who proudly wear the eagle, the globe and the anchor.”

Gen. Conway was commissioned as an infantry officer in 1970, where he held a variety of platoon and company commander billets. As a field grade officer, he taught tactics at The Basic School, served as operations officer for the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit to include contingency operations off Beirut, Lebanon, commanded Battalion Landing Team 3/2 during Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm, and served as commanding officer of The Basic School.

As a general officer, Conway has served as the commander of the First Marine Expeditionary Force during two combat tours in Iraq, the president of the Marine Corps University at Quantico, Va., and up to lat week, the Director of Operations, J-3, on the Joint Staff at the Pentagon.

“The raw courage, the selflessness, the teamwork demonstrated by this young generation is absolutely unbelievable,” said Conway. “I would suggest that our services, our Corps and our nation are in great shape for a long time to come.”

Conway takes the helm as Marines continue to engage enemies on the frontlines of the Global War on Terrorism. “This is going to take awhile,” he said of ongoing operations in Iraq. “With your support there is only one outcome, and that is victory.”

Amen sir!

Sources: US Department of Defense, Marine Corps Times

Monday, November 13, 2006

Sunday, November 12, 2006

C-in-C opens USMC Museum

President Bush, dedicated the new National Museum of the Marine Corps, which I reported on in April, located on a 135-acre site next to the Marine Corps Base in Quantico.

The Commander In Chief expressed optimism that the U.S. will succeed in its drive to sow democracy in the Middle East. "Years from now when America looks out on a democratic Middle East, growing in freedom and prosperity, Americans will speak of the battles like Fallujah with the same awe and reverence that we now give to Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima", he said.

The design of the museum's building, which slants rightward toward the clouds, reflects the highest peak on the island of Iwo Jima where the image of five Marines and one sailor raising the American flag was immortalized in a Pulitzer Prize-winning picture taken by the late Joe Rosenthal. It is the centerpiece of the Marine Corps Heritage Center, which will include a memorial park, parade grounds, artifact restoration facilities and an onsite hotel and conference center. The museum, which opens to the public Monday, will focus on the Marines' contributions throughout the nation's history, immersing visitors in the sights and sounds of Marines in action.

The museum “captures the spirit that every Marine has,” outgoing Commandant General M.W. Hagee said during the ceremony, just before Bush spoke.

“For too long, the only people to have the direct experience of the Marine Corps have been Marines themselves and the enemy who made the mistake of taking them on,” said the President, who called the museum the most modern to date.

Bush said visitors will experience life from a Marine's perspective — what it's like to make an amphibious landing under fire, deploy from a helicopter in Vietnam or endure a grueling boot camp. "No thanks," he joked.

Sources: Fox News, Marine Corps Times

Jack Palance dies at 87

Jack Palance, the legendary raspy-voiced actor who won an Oscar for his comedy role in City Slickers and nominations for his villainous roles in Sudden Fear and Shane and has memorable roles in Young Guns and Batman, has died of natural causes; he was 87.

While better known for playing the heavy throughout his career, Palance did an about face at the age of 72 by playing the crusty, menacing trail boss Curly in the Billy Crystal comedy City Slickers. The role won him an Oscar and a place in Hollywood history books when, after accepting his Best Supporting Actor award, he dropped to the stage for a series of one-armed push-ups; the stunt became a running gag for show host Crystal that year. He had to decline the role of General Chang in Star Trek VI due to scheduling conflicts with City Slickers.

Palance suffered extensive facial damage when he was pulled from the burning wreckage of a B-24, and the resulting surgery left him with his distinctive facial features, chiseled and gaunt which served him well throughout his career as he appeared extremely menacing. His awards from WWII include a Purple Heart, Good Conduct Medal, and the World War II Victory Medal.

Palance was best known to TV viewers as the co-host of the show Ripley's Believe It Or Not with his daughter, Holly.

Source: IMDB

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Veterans Day / Remembrance Day 2006

It's Veterans Day today in the United States. If you're there, stop and take the time to salute the Marines, Sailors, Airmen and Soldiers of the Armed Forces. The veterans who have fought for freedom in the past and those fighting now. They don't hear it enough so thank them for their service.

In some other parts of the world, it is Remembrance Day, where we commemorate all those who have died in both World Wars and all subsequent conflicts, their sacrifice must not, will not be forgotten.

Friday, November 10, 2006

2IGTV Episode 29

Dick and Doogie are fags! The Island On Trial!, Snipes stays in Africa, Hasselhoff goes to Vegas, Jackman happy with Wolverine script, No Ahnold in T4, Bruce Lee lives, Lance Henrickson excited, Affleck ashamed of Daredevil, Will Hans score Dark Night and while our theme song may have completely disappeared we ask what happened everyone else's?

Get it here.


And now a special U.S. Marine Corps birthday message from the Commandant:

On November 10th, 1775, our Corps was born as the Continental Congress raised the "first and second battalions of American Marines." Each year as we celebrate our birthday, we pause to reflect on the Marines of yesteryear who fought in our touchstone battles and forged the modern Marine Corps with their courage, integrity, and undying commitment to their fellow Marines. Each of our storied battles is a link in the long chain that binds all marines together-from the Continental Marines at Bunker Hill to the Teufelhunden crossing the wheat fields of Belleau Wood. This chain binds us to the Marines on the crest of Mount Suribachi; it passes through the ice and snow of the Chosin Reservoir and the steaming jungles of Vietnam, and it anchors firmly today in the desert sands of Iraq.

This year's celebration again finds many from our ranks serving with distinction in harm's way. As we have for the past 231 years, our Corps is answering the nation's call. I can report first hand that our Marines fighting on the front lines of the long war on terror are performing brilliantly, acquitting themselves with honor, dedication, and dignity in difficult and dangerous environments.

All marines are making a difference. Regardless of where you are serving, you are adding new chapters to the legacy that was earned with sweat and blood on old battlefields. Just as previous generations of Marines shaped today's Marine Corps, your deeds are molding the Corps of tomorrow. Our Corps has never been stronger, and all Americans are extremely proud of your magnificent performance and unwavering commitment to serve our Corps and country. With high caliber Marines like you, our future has never been brighter.

Another irreplaceable element of our success as Marines is the terrific support we receive from our families. Through the long hours, the exercises, and the combat deployments, their support is unconditional and firm. They give us love and devotion, providing us with the strength to drive on when duty calls. Today we should all acknowledge our loved ones for their patient, steadfast service.

To all who have earned the title Marine, to the superb Sailors who serve with us in every clime and place, and to our precious families-I wish each one of you a heartfelt Happy 231st Birthday.

Semper Fidelis and Keep Attacking!

M. W. Hagee, General, U.S. Marine Corps

Man won't be eating Indian food for a while.

Someone said to me recently that I've posted a lot off "silly Yanks" articles and not enough "silly Brits". Needless to say the complaint was of Irish origin.

This from Fox News today:

A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries after lighting a small firecracker he had inserted into his buttocks, paramedics said Thursday.

The incident took place Sunday, when Britain celebrated Bonfire Night, traditionally marked with fireworks to celebrate the Guy Fawkes' gunpowder plot to blow up Parliament in the 17th century. The man suffered burns and other unspecified internal injuries in the incident in Sunderland, 275 miles north of London.

Katherine Shenton, a spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service, said a caller had phoned in that the victim was bleeding after the firecracker exploded. Several of the man's friends recorded the incident on a mobile phone. The blurry images show a man bent over with his pants down and a white flash as the firecracker explodes.

The Times newspaper reported the man is a soldier who recently returned from Iraq.

..and no I don't have a picture.

Source: Fox News

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Great Basil Poledouris 1945 - 2006

Basil Poledouris, one of my favourite film-music composers has died of cancer aged 61.

Born in Kansas City, Missouri, Poledouris used to sit in services, enthralled with the choir's sound. At age 7 he began piano lessons, and later enrolled at the University of Southern California to study both film and music.

Poledouris became renowned for his powerfully epic style of orchestral composition and his intricate thematic designs, and garnered attention for his scores. My favourites include Conan the Barbarian (1982), Conan the Destroyer (1984), RoboCop (1987), The Hunt for Red October (1990), Wind (1992), Hot Shots: Part Deux (1993) and Starship Troopers (1997) .

The man is gone but his legacy will last forever. Enjoy this Youtube video of his greatest theme: "Anvil Of Crom" from Conan The Barbarian.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Rummy Out

I expected a pitched battle, a firefight with a Mexican standoff situation before Donald Rumsfeld left office, but it looks like I'm denied.

United States Secretary Of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, a patriot in the strongest sense of the word and one of the few civilians I've to ask "How high?" when he asked me to jump, has resigned after 6 years of service in the position. He leaves behind a reformed Pentagon and a transformed, stronger and superior US military war-machine not seen since WWII with heavy emphasis on special operations and global co-operation. I'll miss you Mr. Secretary.

Thankfully, I'm "rather excited" by the President's choice of replacement for Rumsfeld, former Director of National Intelligence and former CIA Director Robert Gates. A "Cold-warrior" whom you may remember from the Iran-Contra days. It's good news for those with political or military interests in clandestine operations, wetwork and anything "black". I think we're in for some good times ahead.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Man 'Armed' with Shoe Killed - Part 1 in my "Shoot First, Ask Questions Never" series!

A fugitive from south Florida was shot dead outside an apartment complex near Lithonia, Georgia, by federal agents who thought he he was carrying a gun.

Youwiers Vilpie, 24, was wanted for questioning over two murders in Florida. Members of Southeast Regional Fugitive Task Force went to arrest him on federal drug and weapons charges at an apartment complex in Atlanta. Officers first shot him with a Taser but it seemed to have little affect.

US Marshal, Richard Mecum said Vilpie emerged with "something in his hand and he pointed it at them". Agents told him several times to put his hand down and opened fire when he refused, it was reported.

Mecum said Vilpre apparently had put his hand down inside a shoe and was pointing the shoe at the officers when he was shot. "They weren't sure what it was because it was dark, and they thought it was a gun," Mecum said and added that Vilpre was part of a robbery crew that had been targeting businesses in Collier County, Florida.

Below is what I think the shoe may have looked like in better light.

Sources: United Press International, Fox News

Monday, November 06, 2006

Bond is Bloody (Brilliant)!

Daniel Craig the new James Bond, has branded Casino Royale the most violent yet (presumably even over License To Kill where I remember giggling gleefully when Benicio Del Toro was minced in the cocaine-powdering-machine-thingy).

Craig was amazed at the excruciating pain he had to endure for some of the stunts. He says, "You're not doing it right if you're not getting hurt. The stunt boys were going through pain levels that I couldn't even imagine and carrying on. I was in pain throughout the whole movie." He recalls one particularly harrowing scene in which Bond kills a man in the bathroom: "I watch that sequence and I wince. All my knuckles split, my hands were in bandages after it. And I had a fight double - Ben. I did the bits that hurt. And he did the bits that really fucking hurt. But that's the thing with this Bond. He bleeds. It's more about the fact that he bleeds, goes down and gets up again."

The good news is the British press, which traditionally are the most harsh of critics, are unabashedly praising the film and especially Craig's performance as the best since Connery, and the best Bond film in general since Goldeneye.

"It seems we have underestimated you, Mr Craig." - The Times

"Last night, there were no doubts Craig possesses the hard-man credentials which might make him many millions more fans." - The Telegraph

"We're stirred, Mr Bond" - The Daily Mail

"I might even own this one on DVD" - Vaughan (independent Filmmaker known only for selecting quality productions for his DVD collection - without even seeing the film)

Tune in here in two weeks for The Colonel's review.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Neverwinter Nights 2 Released To Favourable Reviews

The most anticipated PC RPG event of the year has successfully taken place and the internet has come alive with views of Obsidian's newly released sequel to Neverwinter Nights.

Above: A Balor. As Nicole Richie might say "That's Hot!"

IGN have one of their video reviews up here for Neverwinter Nights 2, check it out, it has a good spread of video captured elements of gameplay and menus. For those who prefer to read a review go here. IGN gives it an 8.5, a score improved upon my most of the readers reviews.

Gamespy are a bit more pro-active and helpful in the NWN2 department. They came across some bugs but provide details in their initial review on how to overcome them. They do make a point that they've not yet had the chance to explore the entire game in-depth, but their early impressions are indeed most favourable and that this certainly seems like what D&D fans have been expecting and hoping for for quite some time.

Other favourable reviews include one at Gamespot who give it 8.6/10. This also includes another video review, not as good as IGN's but worth a look. Elsewhere Gamedaily awarded 5/5, a score of 9/10 at Gamesradar and Yahoo Games applied a score of 4.5/5.

In a move usually reserved for the most colossal fuck-ups, pulled their 5/10 online review (which will also now not appear in January's Games For Windows mag). Apparently the review did a "disservice to fans of the RPG genre", and after reading the written trash myself before it was removed, I concluded that the reviewer was drunk while writing it or he was less than 12 years old. It certainly wasn't even looked at by an editor which isn't surprising in this day and age of cut and paste. I suspect he'll be looking for a new job come Monday.

Most reviews are more than favourable. Many compare it to the excellence of Planescape: Torment or the Baldur's Gate series as opposed to the original NWN which is seen as a plus. Most reviewers seem happy (as am I) that this time you have fully controllable and equippable party members and you get your own stronghold during the game. A lot of them are however disappointed and somewhat bewildered with the fact that you need a serious gaming rig to play the game on max settings but the quality of the graphics doesn't seem to reason or support this requirement especially for the character models. Despite a few teething bugs that they all noticed (what doesn't nowadays) it probably is the experience everyone's been waiting for and so everyone does indeed recommend you to get it especially D&D fans.

The only really bad news on the NWN2 from is that it does appear that from initial reviews and user comments that most people have suffered quite a few bugs, the most serious involving area transition and cutscenes. These are being worked on right now by the developer. J.E. Sawyer - NWN2 Lead Designer, Obsidian Entertainment, on the official forums, apologised for any issues encountered. Most peoples issues stem from the fact that practically no two PCs are alike with so many different hardware and software configurations and they can't all be tested before launch. "I, also, am the sort of person who puts off buying PC games if I sense even a hint of serious problems on launch. I buy most PC games well over a month after they come out because I know that's the nature of the beast. I would rather have people wait to buy the game if they have concerns than buy the game and be disappointed."

There are a number of options for people who want to purchase the game. Most people worldwide will be happy with the bog-standard version on DVD (but it's available in some areas on CD-ROM for people still living in the 20th century). If you're in the market for a copy of the game always look online rather than your high-street rip-off store. In the 10 years I've owned a credit card I've always paid much less than what you're forced to pay in shops. A new game (here in Ireland) like this in a store ranges from €€39.99 (UK£26.75/US$51.03) to €49.99 (UK£33.43/US$63.79) depending on which rip-off merchant you go to. But go to an online retailer where shipping is free like Play or in this case where the best NWN2 bargain of €€26.99 (UK£18.09/ US$34.44) is found.

If however, you desire overpriced collectors edition directors-cut bullshit... ... like I do; beg borrow or steal the obscene amount of money and buy one of the Collectors Editions of Neverwinter Nights 2. Here in Ireland (or in the UK) exclusive to Game stores you may be lucky enough to bag yourself the Chaotic Evil Collectors Edition (pictured left) or like me if you're pure of heart and are a force of good in the world the Lawful Good Collectors Edition *(pictured right) is available exclusively from The large boxes are loaded with tacky shit, a soundtrack and some in-game enhancements like +1 saving throws, continual light and magic weapons for your character. Full details of the complicated myriad of different Limited Editions worldwide and their contents can be found here.

Here's a link to the Neverwinter Nights 2 Trailer if you missed it (and you still need convincing).

*Update: The Lawful Good Collectors Edition has now sold out, but it is now the 2nd time it has done so, there may be more on the way, keep checking.

Sources: Atari, Obsidian, Bioware, IGN, Gamespy, Gamespot, Gamedaily, Gamesradar, Yahoo Games, 1up, Sendit, Play, Wikipedia.