Sunday, December 31, 2006

Death of a Tyrant - Happy New Year

I think this is a splendid way to end the year- the glorious execution of Saddam Hussein. A man to be remembered alongside Adolf Hitler as a nutter who tried to defy the might of the USA.

As a parting gift for 2006 - I spent a while looking on the net for a video of his actual death- i.e. hearing his neck snap and hopefully the emptying of his bowels as he died. Sadly this dark and grainy footage taken by an individual present at the "festivities" with a camera phone is all I have of the moment where life leaves this sick and twisted individual.

Delight with me in hearing the cheers of people, free people- delivered from opression to freedom who were present to wish him well (or rather make sure he went) as he took the express elevator to hell. No doubt the man will take up the type of role depicted in South Park where he's Satan's gay bitch for eternity.

If that doesn't work try here.

As you watch this remember that it may take a while, but the US will deliver on it's promises and end the reign of people like Saddam Hussein worldwide. Ooohrah for George W. Bush (this excution is the first stage of a grander masterplan), the U.S.A. and the Marine Corps!

Happy New Year Folks- enjoy the party!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas

Folks, let me just get to the point and wish all who read this- a very Merry Christmas. My one-man campaign against supplies of Jack Daniel's begins now. Have a good one.

Someone else who wishes you a Merry Christmas...

Friday, December 22, 2006

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Sith Apologist Wins iPod

Sith Apologist, a dark lord of the Sith, is the new owner of the iPod which had actually been won by Former Grunt last evening.

In a bizzare turn of events, Former Grunt stated that he was getting a new iPod with video and in fact doubted the would get the opportunity to sell on Apollo after my death as he had suggested in his winning tiebreaker because he knew I would "never be killed by alien bugs anyway because you're too good a Marine and are practically invincible".

Sith Apologist's own tiebreaker (which was ranked 2nd in total results from all three judges) to- I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because ___ was: "I need a constant reminder of how alcohol and court martials result in demotion and handing out freebies to freeloaders."

Congratulations Sith Apologist.

New Transformers Trailer

Get the Transformers Trailer Here

Former Grunt Wins iPod

Former Grunt, who served with me in special ops in Panama and the Gulf War, has won Apollo, my iPod recently offered up as the prize in a competition here in Whopper's Bunker.

He sucessfully answered American Dad as my new animated comedy fix. A panel of three judges voted that he completed the tie-breaker: I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because- with "After he's eaten by alien bugs on a distant world, I'll be able to flog it for a mint!" as the best of the lot. But it was a close race.

In addition to the iPod, Former Grunt also gets countless* hours of entertainment preloaded in the form of episodes of 2IGTV and free technical support from VerTecX21.

Join me in congratulating Former Grunt on his win and thanks to all who participated.

*Can actually be counted

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

2IGTV Episode 32

Mark has no Wii (Sorry I just had to use that - What the fuck were Nintendo thinking?). Snipes is arrested! Damon would be Kirk. New Star Trek animated series? Raimi wants a Shadow! Eragon: Try to cross Star Wars with Lord Of The Rings and you get a pile of steaming shit.
We also discuss The Punisher 2 and the dangers of Wii (snigger!). We also completly spoil the latest episodes of Battlestar Galactica for those that haven't seen it yet and tell you what we are (and are not) looking forward to in 2007.

Download it now!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

This time: they even shot the dog. - Part 4 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

A leeching student accused of robbing a man of two new Playstation 3s on the day of release of the console was killed by police sent to arrest him earlier in the month.

Peyton Strickland, 18, was killed at a house he shared with three roommates. "If this boy would've come to the door, opened the door, we probably wouldn't be talking," New Hanover County Sheriff Sid Causey said.

Roommate Mike Rhoton said Strickland was unarmed, but was likely holding a video game controller in a threatening manner when he went to the door as it was breached by officers.

Asked if the deputies felt their lives were threatened, Causey said that anytime you have a high-risk entry like that, you feel that your life is in danger. He declined to say what made the arrest high risk.

The sheriff said the robbery victim had waited three days in line to buy two Playstation 3 units for $641 each at a Wal-Mart. He was unloading the units at his campus apartment when one man beat him to the ground while another took the PlayStations, Causey said.

Strickland's dog, a German shepherd, also was shot to death. That is however more of a loss than the waster student as many German shepards can be productive in military, police and security occupations.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Yet another insane reality TV show

Erik Estrada and other lesser celebrities have apparently been sworn in as reserve officers of the city police department in Muncie, Indiana, allowing them to carry badges and guns as part of a reality television series.

About 200 people were packed into a Muncie City Hall auditorium for the Tuesday ceremony to swear in the former CHiPs star, along with La Toya Jackson (lesser known sister of Michael and Janet), Jack Osbourne (scruffy offspring of The Lord Of Darkness), Wee Man (of Jackass antics) and Trish Stratus (a WWE bimbo).

"Roll call is at 6 o'clock," Muncie Police Chief Joe Winkle told the celebrities. "Do not be late."

The CBS show, Armed and Famous, being filmed in this east-central Indiana city, population 66,000, follows the celebrities as they enforce the laws alongside city police officers.

Estrada joked with the crowd that people may not recognize him as an officer because he would not be wearing his toupee. He pulled up the back inch of his hairpiece and wiggled it, drawing laughter from the crowd.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

WIN! The Colonel's iPod!

As was recently detailed: A sentence of my recent Court-Martial was that I offer my old iPod (which I named Apollo, after the Greek/Roman god of music) up to you lot.

Apollo is a 4th Generation iPod (with no video functionality) and it is well outside the warranty date, it survived this procedure which invalidated the warranty anyway and but has worked flawlessly since then. There are some nicks and dents and the rear mirrored panel is scratched from use as visible in the photo below. I only replaced my iPod due to 20Gb being insufficient storage for my music. Battery life is still a good 6 hours or more on standard settings. The engraving on the rear of Apollo reads:

Colonel Creedon
Apollo - VerTecXneT

iPods operate in two modes. Audio mode is the normal operation of an iPod where you listen to music/ podcasts/ audio-books on it through headphones. Disc mode allows the iPod to act as an external hard drive and allows data to be stored on it. You can only transfer audio files to listen to in audio mode to an iPod through the iTunes application on your computer. You can transfer data in disc mode to and from an iPod from any compatible computer with or without iTunes.

Included with Apollo are:
-a USB data transfer/power cable (you must have a powered USB 2.0 port on your computer to charge, put audio on or transfer data to and from the iPod).
-the original software disc with a version of the iTunes application which I recommend be updated via a broadband connection as soon as possible.
-the instruction manual in which I've crossed out some sections as they are no longer applicable.

Not included with Apollo (but were included originally):
-a firewire cable and mains power adapter. As Apple no longer supplies these as standard, I didn't get one with Corellon (my new iPod), so you'll have to charge Apollo with the USB 2.0 cable supplied. Alternatively you can get a mains power adapter here.
-the famous "white headphones". Er yeah! You want my earphones after they were in my ears for a couple of years? That's right they ain't white anymore baby! The good news is any standard headphones will work with an iPod but if you want to complete the iPod experience you can get your own pair here.
-the warranty card. Now useless.

Pre-loaded on Apollo will be recent episodes of 2IGTV ready to listen to in audio-mode (and will also be loaded in disc-mode in case you erase the episodes from music-mode).

In accordance with the rules set by the convening authority of the Court-martial and suggestions by yourselves I have created a competition so that one of you; my loyal readers can win Apollo itself.

The rules are simple:
1. You must answer the following question:
What relatively new animated comedy series has The Colonel recently "discovered" and is busy watching the boxed DVD set? Hint: The answer is "discussed" in the latest episode of 2IGTV.

2. Complete the following tie-breaker using less than 20 additional words:
I want an iPod engraved with the name of my hero: Colonel Creedon because _____________.

Answers must be E-mailed to colonel.creedon(a) [where (a) = @] to arrive no later than December 18th at 00:00 GMT. At that time, once the answer to the question is verified as correct and you meet the requirements listed below; your tie-breaker will be E-mailed to the judges who will deliberate and select using a numerical point system the tie-breakers in order of their preference from the list. The tie-breaker with the maximum votes, including my own, will be the winner.

Entrants must be physically (as few will be mentally) over 18 years of age as of 10th Dec 2006. Only entrants who have posted a comment (using whatever handle) to the Colonel's Eagle, Whopper's Bunker or 2IGTV blogs between December 9th 2005 and December 9th 2006 are eligible. Only one entry per person regardless of multiple personalities. Entries from those with known ties to the U.S. Democratic party, those from people representing any liberal media, paying members of "peace activist"or "environmental tree-huggers" or any of Afghan, Iranian, North Korean or especially French origin will be automatically printed out on soft toilet tissue and "used" personally by the Colonel (i.e; they will not be considered).

So listen to 2IGTV and complete your tie-breakers now, you only have a week, get cracking, that's an order!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

2IGTV Episode 31

In this episode we discover David Eick (not the one that's the son of God) will develop Them! and Ron More is to remake the remake of The Thing. Peter Jackson will do The Hobbit, oh no wait; he's not going to, he is, he's not.... ahem!
Is Eccleston a Hero? Why are Paramount banking on Eddie Murphy? and Gibson is a vain cunt- but he's right!
In technology: Thousands of British iPod "criminals" will soon be transformed into law-abiding citizens - find out how.
Finally find out what new animated television comedy the Colonel is watching- it could win you his old iPod, and discover who Jon Fraveau has exclusively given the Iron Man script to play Pepper Potts.

All this and (not) much more in 2IGTV Episode 31 available here now!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Complete Twat is Biggest Bond Fan

A James Bond fanatic has changed his name by deed poll to match his hero's - and has ridiculously used the title of all 21 films as his middle names. David Fearn is now known as:

James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.

The 23-year-old council worker told The Daily Mirror he wanted to prove he was one of the world's biggest Bond fans, but in my opinion, has only proved he's one of the world's biggest tossers.

"I can't wait for the first time somebody asks what my name is," he said. Well I wish I was around him for the 515th time someone asks him his name and he looses the plot or simply gets fed up and shortens it to James Octopussy Bond or maybe just Pussy.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"You wanna live forever?"

That's a question I scream at new recruits as I push them out of an aircraft on their first solo jump.

Casper Van Dien
, the star of the original Starship Troopers, will be returning to head up Starship Troopers 3, which will be directed by series writer Edward Neumeier, writer of Robocop.

Plans are apparently afoot to shoot next year. Van Dien will return, now as Colonel John Rico. There'll be some new bugs, draft riots and religion will all play a part in what will undoubtedly be an irrelevant "plot". Oh and "the Federation has a new weapon."

Hopefully it'll be a sequel to the original and not Hero Of The Federation (Yes there was a Starship Troopers 2).

Production is scheduled to begin next March.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Obituary: Shirley Walker

Another great musical talent has been extinguished. Shirley Walker, composer of much of the music from Batman's animated adventures, the Final Destination movies has died of an aneurysm at age 61.

Walker was the first woman to receive sole composing credit on a Hollywood studio picture, on Memoirs of an Invisible Man in 1992 and won a Daytime Emmy for her work on the animated Batman series.

Once a piano soloist with the San Francisco Symphony, Walker's first credit was as a synthesizer player on Apocalypse Now. She went on to work as a conductor and orchestrator for Danny Elfman and Hans Zimmer, working on such features as Days Of Thunder, Batman, Dick Tracy and Backdraft.

She wrote robust themes for sci-fi, action and superhero series, including Batman Beyond, Spawn and Space: Above and Beyond. In 1996, she scored John Carpenter's futuristic action film Escape From L.A. and a year later, Robert Butler's Turbulance.

For me, Walker will be best known for one of the greatest scores to an animated motion picture- Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm where she rewrote Batman's theme and created a whole language for her choir to sing:- their own names and the names of Warner Bros. executives backwards.

Ryan Keaveney has an excellent resource including sound clips for Shirley Walker here.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Batty Old Biddy Shot Dead - Part 3 in my "Shoot First, Ask Questions Never" series!

Narcotics officers in Atlanta were justified in returning fire on a 92-year-old woman they shot to death as they tried to serve a warrant at her house. Neighbours and relatives (most-likely drug-pushers) said it was a case of mistaken identity. But police said the woman, identified as Kathryn Johnston, was the only resident in the house at the time and had lived there for about 17 years.

Assistant Chief Alan Dreher said the officers had a legal search warrant and announced themselves but a shootout erupted when they were refused entry and broke down the front door. He said they were looking for a man who sold drugs to undercover agents at her home earlier that day and were justified in shooting as they were fired upon.

- Left: Kathryn Johnston in happier times before the righteous kill.

As the plainclothes officers approached the house, a woman inside started shooting with an old rusty pistol (apparently in perfect working order), striking each of them, said Officer Joe Cobb. One was hit in the arm, another in a thigh and the third in a shoulder. The officers were taken to a hospital for treatment, and all three were thankfully conscious and alert.

Sarah Dozier, the woman's niece, said that there were never any drugs at the house. "My aunt was in good health. I'm sure she panicked when they kicked that door down," Dozier said. "There was no reason they had to go in there and shoot her down like a dog."

I disagree.

Sources: Cnews, Fox News