Monday, January 30, 2006

Spider-Man 3! What the fuck are they doing?

I asked this question on the last 2IGTV, but unfortunatly Mr.Twomey was as just as much of a loss as I am.
Sam Raimi has delivered non one but two excellent Spider-Man films. There is endless evidence to show that he loves the character passionatly and did everything in his power to create a vision that is true in every respect to the Amazing Spider-Man.
Recent developments however point to him either having some sort of fit and I don't know what this spells for Spidey 3!

Topher Grace- not a bad actor, but not great and most certainly not the first actor I think of when I ask myself who'd be a good Venom? Now I know Venom for want of a better description for those of you who don't visit comic-book land is an intellegent alien shapeshifting thing which covers your body in black ooze, makes you better, stronger and faster but drives you mad in the process. Here's a picture altogether: In the comic book: Venom took control of one of Peter Parker's high-school enemies the 6-foot football player Eddie Brock. 6-foot American football player = Topher "That 70's Show" Grace? You figure it out.

Furthermore, this cutie here (yeah I've a thing for redheads) Bryce Howard, Ron Howard's daughter, has just been cast as Gwen Stacy!!??

Again for you people who don't visit comic-book land, Gwen Stacy
is the comic-book embodiment of teenage love. AICN wrote "...she is that teenage girl that dreamt of all those tomorrows that she'd never live. She was the damsel that wasn't saved. Right when Spidey was getting cocky about web-slinging and soul-saving... he lost another. This one, within his own soul. For serious comics fans, the Gwen Stacy story is sacred text. It is, along with the coming of Galactus - the single greatest Superhero arc of the Silver Age"

Gwen is pivotal in Spider-Man lore as Peter's high-school crush, his first girlfriend and his first love. She ended up being kidnapped by the Green Goblin and died during a bridgetop battle in Amazing Spider-Man issue 121. However as we've seen in the Spider-Man film franchise, they've put Mary Jane Watson, who is actually a later love interest of Peter's who was a model, in the Gwen role, casting Kirsten Dunst as the high-school crush. The original Spider-Man already featured the famous battle on the bridge with the Green Goblin, though a typical Hollywood ending was added, and the character survived. So what in the name of the good Lord God are they doing bringing Gwen in now? She can't be who she is comic-book so why pervert her name for a character who can't be anything she should be?

There is a silver lining to this cloud that's hovering over Spider-Man 3: Thomas Haden Church has been cast as The Sandman and he looks like he fell off the page of the comic book- perfect!

I don't know, is this enough to save the film? Danny Elfman won't be returning to score after apparently having some harsh words with Raimi saying that he was too demanding. And these characters and castings- I'm seriously worried that the whole thing is going to go awry. From what I know at this stage: Ratner's X-Men 3 looks like it's going to be better than this!

Colonel Creedon In Action

This had to happen. Click here to download the video (Mp4@3.1Mb).

(Warnning: Contains scenes of hilarity, the producers of 2IGTV are not responcible for loss of your bladder control while watching this)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Exciting News!

I had this press release all ready to show you, but Mark had the CIA go over it with their black marker and delete any infomation that shouldn't be revealed before you see what the press release was about.
So although I can't tell you, I urge you to come back tomorrow evening to see the latest project from the team that bring you 2IGTV!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

2IGTV Episode 12

Chris Penn becomes worm-food, Sold: Shatners kidney, Booth Babes, Stargates, Nick Cage and much more; yes the 12th episode of 2IGTV is now available here.

Nothing this good should be free, but it is!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Cheney reminds us all why the US Military is so great...

...just in case we forgot I suppose.

(Picture: Cheney in Afghanistan)

In New York City on Friday, Vice President Dick Cheney said that Combating the unprecedented threat of terrorism represents a significant test of military skill and national resolve, he said. "Those of us in positions of responsibility have a duty to wage a broad-scale effort for the sake of this nation's freedom and security," he said. While terrorism still threatens the stability of Afghanistan, "it's impossible to overstate all that our coalition has achieved,".

Just four years ago Afghanistan "was in the grip of a cruel dictatorship" and is now "a free country with a market economy, equality for women, millions of children going to school for the first time," the vice president said.

"When our forces return home from that part of the world, they will be able to be proud of their service for the rest of their lives," he said.

American troops and the Iraqi people are also making great progress in Iraq. The drafting of a constitution, the standing up the Iraqi Security Forces, and three successful elections in 2005 were all testaments to this progress, he said.

"These Americans in uniform have been absolutely relentless in their duties -- going out every day, striking the enemy, conducting raids, training Iraqi forces, countering attacks, seizing weapons, capturing killers," Cheney said. "They have faced long deployments, the hardship of separation from home and family, the loss of comrades."

Great strides have been made to bring Iraq closer to becoming "a democratic country that can defend itself ... when that goal is achieved, all of us will live in a safer world," he said.

The United States is determined to stay the course in Iraq, he said. "Our strategy in Iraq is clear. Our tactics will remain flexible; we'll keep at the work until we finish the job. Progress has not come easily, but it has been steady."

"The United States is a good and a generous land. We're a nation that believes in ideals, that upholds them in our own country, and that acts on them throughout the world," Cheney concluded.

He makes you feel all warm inside doesn't he?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Indy 4! When?

Harrison Ford's not getting any younger (at 63 and rising), so when, exactly, are we going to see the long-promised fourth Indiana Jones movie?

"We just keep working on it," shrugged series writer/producer George Lucas. "You know, we just write and write and write and write and write. But we are getting closer, and hopefully this year we will have a start date and we will have a script that we all love and hopefully it will come out next year." God added that Jeff Nathanson ("Catch Me if You Can") is the newest addition to the list of screenwriters that has been tackling the project.

Ford has said that he will reprise his whip-wielding adventurer role for the first time since 1989. "It's looking very good to do another one. I haven't felt this positive about it happening in a long time... but if it doesn't happen in the next two years we should all forget it."

Steven Spielberg
is making plans to direct. ...

Monday, January 23, 2006

Situation Report Jan 2006

Well first of all greetings and welcome to all the people who are now reading this from and They basically aggregate the latest posts from all submitted blogs created or maintained by people from or in Ireland, which I'm sure is handy for folk with a broad range of interests. As well as that I was listed on the start page on Jan 5th which earned me a few hits. Anything that makes me more famous and gets me more attention is good yes?

I got an E-mail at the weekend telling me that I've not published statistical data in over two months! Since that's one more E-mail asking me to publish data than E-Mail's asking me not to publish data, here it is:

Here's the Country Share graph for the last 100 visitors. The US (including quite a lot of hits from all branches of the military) has taken the lead and responsible for almost half my hits, Ireland and the UK hold exactly a quarter of all hits each.

Firefox has risen in popularity from 28.57% in November to 30% as of today.

I was also asked what I was currently watching, reading or playing, and told that other blogs have that information updated regularly on them, so I've added all that data to the sidebar to your right.

I'm told that 2500 hits in less than 4 months is very good and is probably attributed to my popular topics which show up in search engines. Some visitors so far this year arrived by putting the following terms into their search engines:

  • how much does a whopper cost
  • "my dad is bruce lee" lyrics
  • mummy iii (someone in Peru)
  • hans zimmer
  • xxx whopper
  • Hemel Hampstead (Herdfordshire Co.Council still seem to be researching Hemel)
  • Ed Harris
  • Marsoc (the new US Marine Corps Special Operations Command)
  • eminem - feck (my sentiments exactly, but I'd have said "Eminem - Fuck")
  • picture of a colonel (I'm sure they found what they were looking for- Remember: Signed Photographs of me are available on request)
  • cjcs pete (He's General Pace to you sonny)
  • rachel mcadams
  • padjo junkbox (must have picked up on a comment left by Cubaboy)
  • ciaran creedon (you forgot to bookmark didn't you)
  • peanut butter girlfriend dead
  • my ipod has frozen after being dropped
  • underworld evolution walther (Selene's gun is a Walther P99 with a stainless steel slide, a gorgeous weapon, but I prefer the matt black James Bond version which I carry as my personal sidearm- the benefit of being on detached service)
Most amusing is that someone in Lancashire, England came here to find where Hemel was by asking google: where is hemel hampstead.

There's been almost a two dozen hits from various states in the US with variations on searches for the theme for E-Ring and the X-Men 3 trailer, obviously hot stuff, and disturbingly a Student at the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland (where Colonel Creedon himself earned his commission) came here to learn about the New Secnav!

Here's the best one however: For some bizarre reason I can't possibly figure out was the American looking for "johnasson panties". I'm left wondering did he just want a picture or the actual items themselves? Well I'm sorry mate; Scarlett didn't leave them here last night so she must have taken them with her this morning...

Sunday, January 22, 2006

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION - The blood, the blood!

The original Underworld was basically- Vampires and werewolves fighting with guns, claws, teeth and edged weapons. If you don't like the sound of this then Underworld ain't for you and neither is it's worthy sequel Underworld Evolution in cinemas now.

Where the original spent a good deal of time explaining why vampires and werewolves (or Lycans, as they're called here) are a bit pissed off at each other, Underworld Evolution for the most part has this battle play out. Now there is a few lagging segments where our heroes Michael and Selene have to do a bit of investigating but nowhere near as many as the first film, and most of them are told in flashback, so you see them happen as opposed to just having the caharcters explain them, far more satisfying.

Kate Beckinsale reprises her role (and thankfully her wardrobe- which even more thankfully she takes off for some hot sex) from the first film; a vampire named Selene, a Death Dealer, charged with the task of ridding the world of Lycans. At the end of Underworld, she learns of a betrayal that changes the path of her life, and this film explores the repercussions of that. The biggest of these is her relationship with Michael (Scott Speedman), a hybrid vampire/Lycan.

Since vampires and Lycans have been bitter enemies throughout history, their affair does not go down well on either side, and in the beginning of this film (which picks up right after the events of the original), Selene and Michael are on the run, and defending themselves against all comers, although strangely they're now in Eastern Europe as opposed to the US?!!!??

As we should have guessed, the Lycan blood that made its way to Marcus, the last remaining vampire Elder, has transformed him into a super-charged, winged beast like the boss thingy in House Of The Dead, and he is out to exact revenge on everyone who has wronged him(and I mean EVERYONE). His idea of a good time is to find an enemy, pin him to the wall with his bony wing-tips and rip off his head. In fact, Marcus' bloodletting is the true joy of the film. There are some righteous kills and Marcus is usually at the center of them. Jaws are dismantled, heads disintegrated, and scores of folks are shot up in the tech-heavy war. It all looks a lot better than in the first outing; the effects have been upgraded considerably. The werewolves themselves—their transformation sequences and their movement, especially—are leaps ahead of the ones on display in the original Underworld.

Actually the whole production seems to have gotten a leg up. Len Wiseman is very comfortable mixing genres and the film gets more creative, carving out its own identity in the action/gore sequences and will no longer be compared to Blade and The Matrix, I wouldn't be surprised come it's next outing that it would surpass both the Blade and the Martix trilogies. Caps off to Bill Nighy, in his flashback appearance as the vampire Viktor, and Derek Jacoby is a proper use of a Shakesperian actor in a Sci-Fi film, not like Judi Dench in The Chronicles Of Riddick.

In the end, Underworld Evolution follows all sequel rules—more action, death, villains and character development—but manages to be better than the original by keeping the action coming. Overall this is a solid genre picture with killer action and plenty of satisfying death-dealing. Let's just say I had a few seizures :)

Colonel Creedon rating: *****

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Medal of Honor: Airborne

Electronic Arts yesterday announced details regarding Medal of Honor: Airborne, the next iteration in its long-running WW2 first person shooter franchise.

According to the company, players will assume the role of Boyd Travers, Private First Class of the legendary 82nd Airborne Division, as he battles his way across war-torn Europe beginning with the 82nd's first combat deployment to Sicily during Operation Husky through the harrowing jump into Normandy prior to D-Day until the triumphant crossing of the Rhine into the heart of Nazi Germany itself.

Each of the game's missions will begin with a "fully interactive" parachute drop into enemy-held territory. EA states that the ability to choose your starting point for each mission "dramatically changes the way each mission plays out" as the player will "view the entire operation from the air, and then control your parachute to choose your landing spot." Unlike previous games in the Medal of Honor series, players will have the ability to customize the various weapons they will have at their disposal. Furthermore, Medal of Honor: Airborne will feature a free-roaming environment and photorealistic characters to add to the "intensity" of the game.

As with previous games in the series, the Medal of Honor development team consulted with both military and historical experts in order get the most authentic feel for the game as possible. Consultants include Captain Dale Dye, who has served as the Military Technical Advisor for the last seven games in the franchise.

The game is tenatively scheduled to release for the PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Xbox, and PlayStation 2 in Winter 2006.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Statham goes Rogue!

Whopper Award winner Jason Statham is teaming up with Whopper Award nominee Jet Li in upcoming Rogue. The actors who were up for the same Whopper Award category are set to square off mano y mano in the new thriller.

Statham recently joined the cast of Rogue, which is set to start production in March and shooting on location in Vancouver. Renowned rap video director Philip Atwell will direct his feature debut. Also of interesting note is that Cory Yuen, who directed Statham in The Transporter, will serve as choreographer and director of the action scenes.

Statham will star as Police Officer Jack Crawford in Rogue. After his partner Tom Lone and his family are killed by assassins for the ruthless Chang crime family, Crawford embarks on an obsessive mission to find their killer, known only as Rogue. Jet Li will portray the mysterious killer.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

David Hasselhoff: What's he up to?

There are countless websites devoted to David Hasselhoff, most of them German, and many more ridiculing him. This isn't one of them, but I'll at least spend a post doing so. Dave just recently filed for divorce from his wife Pamela Bach, a union which lasted 16 years which in Hollywood terms is an eternity!

After his popularity wained after Baywatch and the realisation that only Germans think he has singing talent, Hasselhoff went on a spree of substance abuse, hitting "rock bottom" in his own words, in 2002. Said binge occurred after Hasselhoff checked himself into Betty Ford Clinic in an attempt to quit the booze, but then checked back out after a day of treatment, holed himself up in a hotel in California,and he proceeded to down the contents of his mini-bar.

Following this, Hasselhoff checked back into rehab to complete his treatment and vowed to stick to an alcohol-free existence. This lasted until June 2004, when he was nabbed for drunk driving after police spotted him behind the wheel, acting as if he expected KITT to take control of his car at any moment.

Horrifically, Hasselhoff will have to get his driving skills back up to speed, as he is headed for a starring role in the big-screen adaptation of Knight Rider, which has been in in the works for some time now. He's is slated to reprise his role of Michael Knight in the film, which is expected to begin shooting this summer with the aim of a December release date. More on this potential disaster when I get it.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

God: "Thank you all"

The 32nd People's Choice awards were held Tuesday night and Revenge of the Sith has won both Favorite Movie: Drama, and Favorite Movie. George Lucas was on hand for the ceremony to accept the awards.

Harrison Ford was the presenter for Favorite Movie, for which the nominees were Episode III, Hitch, and Batman Begins. When he announced Sith as the winner, he said, "The Force is strong in this one." George Lucas was in attendance to accept the award, and it was obvious that he was moved to receive it. Here was his speech:

"Thank you. Thank you all. This is a very, very important award for me. Star Wars, oddly enough, doesn't really get that many awards. I'm not a big favorite with the critics, but who listens to them? I'm not a big industry favorite either, but of course they are a bunch of studio executives. The most important people for any filmmaker, the reason that I make films, is for you! The audience rules! Thank you. Thank you very much!"

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

May I present the new SECNAV

The Navy & Marine Corps got a new Secretary a few days ago. Dr. Donald C. Winter was sworn in as the 74th Secretary of the Navy (SECNAV to people like me) during a ceremony at the Pentagon on Jan 3rd.

In his first message as SECNAV, Winter outlined his five priorities:
- People
- The Global War on Terror
- Shipbuilding
- 2005 QDR Implementation
- BRAC Implementation

Winter also praised the Navy and Marine Corps team and expressed his pride in serving as secretary.

He said during his firs address: "The Navy/Marine Corps team is engaged in an aggressive campaign to defeat terrorist enemeies not only in Iraq and Afghanistan, but globally. Protecting America against threats will remain our primary mission, a task that will require the service of warfighters who will never lose focus on the drive to victory."

Here here. The full text of the SECNAVs address his here.

2IGTV Episode 11

After the holiday season we're back with a bang. If you're French or Homosexual you ain't safe this year if this first episode of the new year is anything to go by. With info on The DaVinci Code and why we're not going to see brokeback mountain.

Mark also talks about Macworld and the CES, I reveal the 1st titles on Hi-Def format and the latest plans for both Tim Allen and John Travolta.

And Exclusively!* We reveal what George Takei is doing for money now!

Get it here.

*It's not actually exclusive, it just looks good to type it there.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Half Life 2: Aftermath coming soon

An add-on expansion for the greatest video game in the western world; Valve's Half-Life 2 entitled Aftermath will be available in late April it was announced today.

Unlike the original Half-Life's expansions; Opposing Force and Blue Shift where you took control of US Marine Corporal Shepard and the Black Mesa Security Officer Barney respectively, this expansion for Half-Life 2 will actually continue on the game's story from where you were left hanging in the explosive and spectacular ending to the greatest piece of interactive entertainment ever conceived.

Valve seem keen to outdo themselves with the add-on and they've revealed a little of what's going on:

"You've done critical damage to the Citadel. The whole place is going to go up, taking out City 17 and what's in its immediate radius. You and Alyx are leading the flight from the city getting up close and personal with some of the creatures and sights from the end of the game," a Valve representative said.

It was also noted that a good portion of the characters from the sequel will be present in the new episode and that Alyx and other allies, learn new abilities to help you that have interesting gameplay repercussions. Your enemies, both old and new, haven't been resting either."

And of course the characters, especially Alyx, will be playing a more significant role this time: "The biggest regret we had about Half-Life 2 was that you didn't spend enough time with the major characters. Players spent small sections of the game with allies, and interactions with them were fairly constrained. As a result, this is the first challenge we set out to tackle in Aftermath,”

As Aftermath plays out, expect a few questions to the secrets of the Half-Life universe to be answered, although hurting our brain matter new questions and mysteries are to be raised.

I hope they include those cool High Dynamic Range (HDR) lighting effects they released with Half-Life 2: The Lost Coast in October, those where certainly some of the best effects work I've ever seen in a game. Valve affirmed that because it's an episode "it's intentionally shorter than Half-Life 2" and will be delivered through Steam (and after the split from Vivendi, EA Games have taken up the duties to sell the DVD's to the boggers without broadband) from April 24th.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Casino Royale not to be directed by Tarantino

Well we all knew that as Goldeneye director Martin Campbell was instead chosen to direct the new 007 thriller starring Daniel Craig. But Quentin Tarantino has is upstet at James Bond producers for failing to contact him following his request to direct forthcoming 007 movie Casino Royale, because the remake had been his idea!

In 2004, the Pulp Fiction creator suggested producers remake Ian Fleming's original 1953 storyline, after screenwriters Robert Wade and Neal Purvis, who penned The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day, publicly announced they were struggling to write a third script. Tarantino had hoped to direct Casino Royale and had advised the Bond team to "go my way and do it a little differently", while maintaining he could still be trusted with the legendary superspy series.

But he was upset not to be contacted, "I'm annoyed that the James Bond producers never called me to talk about it because I can tell you that they would not be making Casino Royale if I hadn't talked about it first. "They should have at least had the courtesy to have coffee with me."

Well Bond may not be up next for him but there is the wonderfully entitled: "Inglorious Bastards" starring Micheal Madsen where a group of disgraced U.S. soldiers during World War II manage to escape the execution squad by going on a daring mission to help the Allies in the fight against the Nazis. Yes it does sound like The Dirty Dozen doesn't it? But hopefully with gangsters and Kung-Fu :)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Warp Speed or Hyperspace, in any case it's on the way...

I read on Trektoday that The U.S. government is apparently investigating the possibility of developing a hyperspace engine to make interstellar space travel possible.

"I have been working on propulsion systems for quite a while and it would be the most amazing thing. The benefits would be almost unlimited," said German scientist Jochem Hauser, a professor of physics "But this thing is not around the corner; we first have to prove the basic science is correct."

The device would be based on a controversial theory using intense magnetic fields to create thrust for a spacecraft. In principle, a large enough field would allow the ship to slip into a dimension where the speed of light is faster.

Hauser, who said that NASA had contacted him, said it was possible that a device could be tested as soon as five years from now, but added, "It's our job to prove we are right." He added that if the theory for Star Trek style travel proves to be correct, "then this is not science fiction, it is science fact." More here.

I guess it won't be too long more before we start kicking those Alien bastards back to where they came from!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Battlestar Galactica Returns

I've just watched Episode 11 of Battlestar Galactica's 2nd season, the sequel to the mid season cliffhanger Pegasus.

Without revealing anything (as none of you could have seen it yet) I can safely say it lives up to the standard of suspense and drama set by previous episodes. It's common for a series to loose a bit of momentum during the middle of a season, but it appears that Battlestar Galactica can be best compared with a hard-boiled sweet as opposed to a soft centre like most other shows.

Michelle Forbes (right) a veteran of Star Trek is magnificent as the psychotic Admiral Cain, and the truth behind her insanity is cleverly revealed in this episode entitled Resurrection Ship. This Cylon ship which appeared only in reference during Cain's briefing to Adama in Pegasus is about to become, according to Cain "the most important ship in the galaxy".

Those of you who watch it on UK television will be pleased to know that the 2nd season of Battlestar Galactica will begin on this Tuesday, Jan 10th at 21:00.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 8

Now almost done, I just want to include some special mentions to a few productions which caught my attention pretty uniquely and didn't really warrant nominations for others of their ilk:

The Most Pants-Wetting Motion Picture Of 2005 was:
Team America: World Police

I'm still laughing...

The Best Gore in a Motion Picture In 2005 was in:

Yer woman was like in a "pond" of blood. The producers weren't afraid to show anything, teeth and eyeballs being ripped out, skulls being smashed, broken bones etc. Dare I say "was it just a little too far" even for me???

Most Glorified Use Of Automatic Weaponry:
Land Of The Dead

More ammunition expended than in the past several years in Iraq.

Most Delightful Use Of Edged Weaponry:

Can't really say why without ruining the film. E-mail me if you want to know...

Best Pyrotechnics In A Motion Picture For 2005:
XXX2: State Of The Union

Should have been called: XXX2: Everything Explodes

Best Martial Arts In A Motion Picture:
Ong Bak

I'll be quite honest here; could I take Jet Li: maybe not, take Norris: possibly, Segal: probably, Van Damme: definitely, but this Tony Jaa lad: NO FUCKING WAY!!!

The Best Remake of 2005:
Assault On Precinct 13

I do miss the scene in the original where the little 6 year old girl gets it in the temple from the fake ice-cream man with the Mauser machine-pistol but for a remake it's absolutely brilliant.

The Best Video-Game Demo:

It was so good; I said I wouldn't play the full game until I had enough time to appreciate it. I can play DOOM in the dark with the lights off but not a snowball's chance in hell would I attempt to play this without them on and maybe even Mummy in the room holding my hand.

Most Disappointing Tripe Of 2005:
War Of The Worlds:

God in heaven save me from shit like this! I've talked about it enough earlier so I'm not going into this now.

Kingdom Of Heaven:

The Crusades I've read about sound like fun, this wasn't. Good battles, great score but I expected much more from the man who made Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, Blade Runner and G.I.Jane. (Strange that the only acceptable use of listing G.I.Jane together with 3 of the greatest films of all time is in a list of films by Ridley Scott)!

The Enterprise Finale:

I cry to think about it. Fat Riker and Granny Troi in the fucking Holodeck! Excrement! An insult to loyal fans of Enterprise. People in Hollywood get shot for less than what the producers did here, so why the hell do Rick Berman and Brannon Braga still live and breathe?

Starship Troopers: The Game

I had high hopes for this, but apart from rendering lots of bugs on screen at once it doesn't have much else going for it. If you have the demo then you have the game. Thanks be to Christ I didn't buy it.

Now for my final word, really directed at casual readers who don't know me as well as the rest. Why wasn't Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith in any of the winners or even in the nominations?
Well the best answer to that is that the Star Wars movies are held in a religious reverence by me. They don't exist as films in my mind as such they are parts of my psyche in much the same way as a priest's favourite book is not the bible. The most printed book in the world is the Qur'an but you don't see it getting book reviews or literary awards now do you?

For arguments sake in a hypothetical situation if SW:ROTS was 'just another sci-fi movie' then some of the previous awards would have been different: Revenge Of The Sith would have been Best film, with Best Director, McGregor as Best Actor In Dramatic Role AND Action Role, Cinematography hands down, Special Effects obviously and John Williams for Score and Battle of the Heroes, the ROTS theme music. You see it wouldn't have been as exciting as it was really!

Thank you all for reading and I hope to continue this next year, but for now it's back to normal from tomorrow on.

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 7

The Nominations For Best Special Effects Of 2005:
King Kong
The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy

Battlestar Galactica

The best think about an otherwise unremarkable, (but quite funny if only for Alan Rickman) film adaptation of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy was the scene where they're looking at everything being constructed. It looked so rediculous but seemed so real. This award is just for that scene alone- that's how good it was.

The Nominees For Best DVD Release:
Blade Trinity: Extended Cut
Daredevil: The Directors Cut

ladiator: Extended Edition
XXX: Xtreme Edition

The DVD offerings this year were of a very high standard, but it was the Directors Cut of Daredevil that was a ‘Cut’ above the rest :) With the addition of some key scenes, the adjustment playing down the love story between Mat Murdock and Elektra and even the restoration of an entire sub-plot involving Coolio which was removed from the theatrical cut so that the Fox could have an extra showing of the film per day! The result is a darker, tighter and most certainly a more brutal R-rated cut of the film that frankly once seen will make you forget the original.

And for the final of the nominated awards I have:

The Nominees For Best Trailer:
The Transporter 2
Batman Begins

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow

The Land Of The Dead

I know I'm scraping the bottom of what became a huge barrell now, (perhaps Mark was right to shoot down my awards-show idea after all) but why not an award for best trailer? Trailers play an important part in the advertising of a film and many people will base their decisions on seeing a movie, TV show or buying a game based on the trailer. The trailer which in my opinion most accurately represented the production it was advertising and made me anticipate the said production more, was the trailer for Batman Begins.

Next: (yeah there's one more next) Consolation awards and conclusions...

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 6

The Nominees For Best Film of 2005:
Batman Begins
Land Of The Dead
Sin City

Batman Forever and Batman & Robin have now been forgotten. Christopher Nolan created a masterpiece to continue the legend of the Dark Knight into the 21st century and has left the last two Batman films nothing but a distant memory to be forgotten about forever. A superb cast headed by Christian Bale; the perfect Bruce Wayne/Batman. A script and art direction so faithful to Detective Comics, that it made one think that all who worked on the film read nothing but Batman for the past several years. It is my great hope that the Batman legacy will continue in this fashion for years to come.

The Nominees For Best Television Show Of 2005:
Battlestar Galactica

Stargate: SG-1

Stargate: Atlantis

I'll admit I don't watch too much new television these days but I've now caught up seeing the 1st halves of Battlestar Galactica season 2, Stargate: Atlantis season 2, Stargate: SG-1 season 9 and the 1st season of E-Ring. The only other TV I got a chance to watch this year was Steven Bochco's OVER*THERE which was unfortunately cancelled. This aside however I can most certainly award Battlestar Galactica with Best TV Show of 2006 as it has continued with the freshness it had brought to modern science fiction and hopefully will be a benchmark for all that comes subsequently.

Nominees for Best Video Game Of 2005:
Knights Of The Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

Quake IV


The third instalment of Tom Clancy’s sneak-em-up gives our hero Sam Fisher a freakin’ cool knife! Why did it take two previous games for Ubisoft to give the man a knife? Now you can sneak up behind some goon and either stab him in the back or slit his throat- no more sissy pistol whipping or wasting ammo. Oh yeah the rest of the game is magnificent.

The final part next...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 5

The Nominees For Best Writing:
Anne Cofell Saunders: Battlestar Galactica (TV Show) EP2.10 “Pegasus
David Cage: Fahrenheit (Video Game)
Shane Black: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (Motion Picture)
Frank Miller: Sin City (Motion Picture)

This was perhaps my most difficult decision of the whole contest. The standard of original writing this year has been exemplary. The writing for the Battlestar Galactica mid-season cliff-hanger “The Pegasus” was the best for any TV show I had seen in many years. David Cage’s Fahrenheit proved that a well written video game can be just as good as one with the best graphics. The script for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was like a breath of fresh air to the Stagnant writing of Hollywood, a wecome return for Shane Black after his self-imposed exile. The award for best writing however must go to Frank Miller- forgiven for writing Robocop 2 back in 1990, he adapted his best selling Sin City comic book series for the big screen. That said he didn’t do too much adapting as it seems that what he wrote for the comic books is exactly what’s on the screen, I guess if it ain't broke: don't fix it!

The Nominees For Best Director:
Micheal Bay: The Island
Tim Burton: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Peter Jackson: King Kong
Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller and Quentin Tarantino: Sin City

Micheal Bay has done it again- over use of slow motion, black helicopters, generous helping of automatic weapons filre, insane speed chases, fantastic set-pieces and an abundance of pyrotechnics; if he left one of those things out of The Island then he wouldn’t have won this award.

The Nominees for Best Cinematography:
Dean Semler: Stealth
Sergei Trofimov: Nochnoy dozor
Philippe Rousselot: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Andrew Lesnie & Derek Whipple: King Kong

If you take a look at the lighting, contrast, hues and camera angles in the Russian film Nochnoy dozor (Night Watch) and don't think Sergei should be given this award then you havn't got a fuckin' clue about the art of cimematography and I spit on thee.

In the penultimate part: Best Film, Game and TV Show...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 4

The Nominees For Best Score:
Clint Mansell: Sahara
Bear McCarey: Battlestar Galactica
Steve Jablonsky: The Island
Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard: Batman Begins

When two major and distinctively different composers are attached to the same film it’s normally the case that one of them has been heard to replace the other who failed to deliver what the director or producer wanted. In the case of the score for Batman Begins both composers were hired simultaneously for a collaborative effort to bring a fresh sound to the Batman legend. As Chris Nolan was a completely different director to Tim Burton, he wanted his vision of Batman to have a completely different score to Danny Elfman’s classic score to Burton’s films and also make people forget completely the disaster of the previous two films; blights on the career of Elliot Goldenthal. Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard joined together and formulated the most remarkable score of the year, fusing their own distinct styles together to create a sound more unique than either of them could have ever written separately. Resisting the urge to create a bombastic new Batman theme like Elfman did in 1989, they instead did what Elfman did with Spiderman and created different yet recognisable motifs within the score representing different points in the movie. The result is pure musical gold.

The Nominees For Best Theme Music:
Harry Gregson Williams: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Video Game)
Harry Gregson Williams: Team America World Police (Motion Picture)
Trevor Rabin: E-Ring (TV Show)
Hans Zimmer: The Contender (TV Show)

I must give the award to Trevor Rabin for crafting an uplifting and patriotic action-packed theme for the E-Ring TV series that admittedly sounds no different from anything else he’s written, but it works for this and practically anything Jerry Bruckheimer is attached to.

Up Next: Writing and Directing...

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 3

The Nominees For Best Supporting Actor:
James Callis: Battlestar Galactica
Brian Cox: Red Eye
Val Kilmer: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Sam Shepard: Stealth

Dr. Gaius Baltar is one of the most complex and enjoyable characters ever created for television. A literal genius. Elegantly dressed and aesthetically handsome, with the affected humility of the truly arrogant. He has a tremendous ego, but is deeply flawed. Somewhere beneath the ability (the genius) is the pathological weakness of character. Self-absorbed, sly, guileful, and utterly dedicated to his self-preservation. His love affair with a beautiful woman has led to the destruction of practically all he has ever known. Now racked with guilt he has uncontrollable visions of her while carrying out his everyday tasks, mostly resulting in side-splitting hilarity. I’m delighted with each episode that British actor; James Callis is able to pull off all this so convincingly and enjoyably.

The Nominees For Best Supporting Actress:
Kate Beckinsale: The Aviator
Claudia Black: Stargate SG-1
Brittany Murphy: Sin City
Grace Park: Battlestar Galactica

You either love her or hate her, but you can’t deny that Claudia Black’s character of Vala brought a welcome change to the dynamic which existed in Stargate SG-1. More often than not the people whom SG-1 meet on their travels want to kill them, make them hosts, age them, eat them and/or destroy them in some fashion, so Vala was certainly a welcome change from that. During the opening episodes of Season 9 with the departure of General O’Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) and the pregnancy of Amanda Tapping (Lt.Col. Sam Carter), Claudia Black's Vala provided a distraction to the fact that we were missing two of the main characters who had been with us for 8 previous years, and it worked.

In Part 4: The Music...

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 2

Next up is two categories for Best Actress...

The Nominees For Best Actress Displaying Actual Acting Ability
Sasha Alexander: NCIS
Rachel McAdams: Redeye
Keira Knightly: Domino
Rachel Weisz: Constantine

This time last year, few knew who Rachel McAdams was, but it’s a safe bet that everyone does now being in the summer comedy The Wedding Crashers and the Christmas comedy The Family Stone. However it was in the thriller Red Eye however where she got my attention (and I don’t mean just the kind of attention required for the category below) she displayed a range of acting beyond a girl of her years opposite Killian Murphy as a hotel manager who finds herself trapped on a plane with an assassin. I think she definatly made that film more enjoyable and proved if you have a good script and good actors you don’t care how short it was.

The Nominees For Best Actress With Most Delectable Tits, Legs & Ass
Jennifer Garner: Elektra
Summer Glau: Serenity
Michelle Monaghan: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Angelina Jolie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith

It has to be Michelle. I love little Santa outfits :)

Up next: The supporters...

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 1

Those of you who heard 2IGTV episode 10 will know of the awards I intended to present on air but was denied by he who has creative control. Fear not however, because now as 2005 is at an end, the time is right to present the winners list from all walks of life in the entertainment industry:

Nominees for Best Actor In A Dramatic Role:
Ed Harris: A History Of Violence
Bruce Willis: Hostage
Micky Rourke: Sin City
Jack Black: King Kong

I give the award to Ed Harris, an actor above them all whom as you already know I had the privilege of seeing on stage in November. In A History Of Violence, Harris plays Carl Fogarty a man with a glass eye who works for Richie (William Hurt) a man whom Tom (Viggo Mortensen) has crossed in past. Fogarty is the man sent to bring him to Richie or kill him. Hariss plays the bad guy expertly, he's both evil and creepy with a gravely voice and a mean look in his only eye. I'll admit that I only wnt to see the film because I saw Harris with the glass eye in the trailer.
I may have fought in dozens of conflicts accross the globe and have more medals than Patton, but would I say Boo to this Fogarty character? Not a fuckin' chance mate.

Nominees for Best Actor In A Mindless Action Role
Jet Li: Unleashed
Ewan McGregor: The Island
The Rock: Doom
Jason Stratham: The Transporter 2

It has to be Jason Stratham here, reprising his role as the ultra-cool Transporter, a sort of armed Fed-Ex man for 'special packages'. You want something delivered in a timely fashion, no questions asked, he's you man. A modern-day Han Solo. This award is given to whomever pulls off the action-man stuff in a convincing fashion. The Rock was a very close second, Jet had good martial-arts but little gun-play, and Ewan was good, but not good enough. Stratham had it all though martial arts, guns, explosions, fast cars and even a change of suit in the trunk- pure class.

Coming in Part 2: The Actresses...