Thursday, May 31, 2007

Star Wars: Tales Of The New Republic

Well I said there'd be Star Wars news heading our way for the 30th Anniversary and despite this not being official it's still hot 'n' bitchin'.

It seems like some amateur 3D animators have got together and are creating a "New Republic" (post ROTJ) era Star Wars animated production. I've watched their trailer and seen some of their screenshots and it all looks pretty tight, they even had those idiots at AICN thinking that this was from Lucas. Thus far it will carry my endorsement.

While Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars 2D animated series was superb and God himself is working on a 3D version of the Clone Wars saga (new poster on left) and his live action series will concentrate on bridging the gap between Episodes III and IV; the obvious continuation of the saga after Episode VI has been largely ignored. HoweverI believe this is a good thing because it has allowed prophets like Tom Veitch (Dark Empire), Michael A. Stackpole (Union/X-Wing), Kevin J. Anderson (The Jedi Academy Trilogy) and of course the man second only to Lucas himself as a visionary, Timothy Zahn (The Thrawn Trilogy) to craft the cohesive saga of The New Republic following the destruction of the 2nd Death Star as the alliance reform the Republic under Leia Organa and persue the Imperial Remenant as Luke Skywalker founds a new Jedi Academy to rebuild the lost order.

It's clear from the trailer that these guys know their characters and situations of The New Republic as Mrs. Luke Skywalker - Mara Jade (pictured left), the Imperial Fighter Ace - Baron Soontir Fel and Grand Admiral Thrawn himself make their 3D amimated appearence. As you saw from the screen above we'll not only see characters but craft from the Expanded Universe too as they appear to have expertly crafted one of the most hated Imperial war-machines the Interdictor Cruiser which sucks unfortunate ships out of hyperspace into an ambush with it's gravity well projectors.

That's about all I can tell you at the moment. The animators have not revealed who they are or where they're from. Partly perhaps they fear the wrath of God who has shut down some projects that may affect his own money gathering machine such as the Unreal Tournament modification that turned the game into a better version of Star Wars: Battlefront. However, Lucas' own avoidance of projects in the New Republic setting may be the best plus these guys have. Check out all their work here.

Source: Every major Star Wars news source on the planet.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

When you expect something to be utter shit, you are pleasantly surprised when it doesn't turn out to be a complete turd. Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End is far superior to it's predecessor Dead Man's Chest but nowhere near as enjoyable as the original Curse Of The Black Pearl.

Right: Chow as Captain Sao Feng. He kept asking for more steam. Not in this movie Chow but there sure was a lot of hot air to keep it afloat...

That said however, it means that while I would have given POTC1 a rave review and glowing report; POTC2 a slating and an angry testimonial; this film deserves neither but must also be devoid of any positive or negative lengthy discussion.

I will say the absence of cohesive plot and storyline actually helps this movie which I would imagine out of the three films resembles most closely the Disney theme park ride. Appearances from Chow Yun Fat, Keith Richards (whom Depp modeled Jack on) and a brief appearance by Bill Nighy are most welcome if all too brief. Johnny Depp's antics are growing a bit tiresome now but Captain Jack does appear a little more intelligent now. Orlando Bloom still can't act to save his life however.

Keira: Guys this isn't what I meant about getting a less girlie wardrobe this time round.

If the special effects weren't so spectacular, Hans Zimmer's score not so pulse-pounding or if Keira Knightly wasn't so pleasing to the eye then I'd have probably been bored silly.

Wait for DVD if you have to see it, but when you do say to yourself: Someone pitched the wedding scene to Jerry Bruckheimer and he gave the go-ahead, just a thought.

Colonel Creedon Rating: **1/2

Monday, May 28, 2007

Bertie Forever or Bertie Begins - Joe(ker) Higgins gone!

I'm no stranger to victory as a quick glance at my fruit salad will tell you; Grenada, Panama, Iraq (I) and Kosovo to name but a few. As the votes were counted in Ireland's general election late into last Friday evening I could get the same smell as that when I stood victorious after the most heated battles of those conflicts. It was not long before it became clear that a victory for Fianna Fail and more importantly our great leader Bertie Ahern was imminent.

It's almost certain now that our government is safe, safe from the control of leftists, socialists and communists who would seek to destroy our nation with their ill conceived plans, false arguments, insane ideas and uncharismatic leaders. While thankfully many of the more extreme left parties lost much of their previous government representation and did not achieve the numbers they had projected for this election, the government itself lost it's main coalition partner, the right-wing Progressive Democrats who were decimated down to 2 seats in government.

The Irish people were robbed of Michael McDowell a patriot whose mission it was to rule with an Iron fist, but FF kept him in check after his unprecedented ascendance to power in 2006. Oh Michael, why did you create a diet-Garda force instead of issuing all the proper Guards Glocks and kevlar and give them AI controlled bikes to dispense justice? - you were practically a Blueshirt! It should have been obvious to you. At least with the departure of a patriot there's also the departure of Socialist nutbag Joe Higgins who throughout the years has done nothing than been the Dail's "class clown" poking fun and been generally disrespectful to Bertie, the elected leader of government. Thankfully he's heading where he should have gone a long time ago down the shitter to obscurity.

All that needs to be done now is to form a stable government with a majority of the 166 seats. In the election, Fianna Fail (the Soldiers Of Destiny) who have provided the lifeblood of Irish politics since the formation of the country have retained all their 78 seats of the previous government. They must now gather forces from the smaller representatives, most likely from the remainder of the Progressive Democrats and like-minded Independents like the fascinating Jackie Healy-Rae (yes, this man is a politician) in order to defeat the evil Enda Kenny and his cronies. A less likely and most undesirable situation is a government formed with the assistance of the tree-hugging hippies The Green Party, this is undesirable as the cost of their allegiance may try to force Bertie to stop the use of Shannon Airport by the US Military to refuel their aircraft in order to pacify the middle east and wage the glorious War on Terror to say nothing of the Green's expensive and ridiculous "measures" we should be employing in order to combat the myth that is "Global Warming".

Let us hope that in the coming weeks, our great leader, Bertie will be successful in seducing Mary Harney and the others into a favourable situation and the country continues on the path where we have prospered for the past decade - AND SO SAY WE ALL!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Star Wars: 30 Years Old

At some point in the distant future when Christianity, Islam, Buddhism etc. are all forgotten there will exist the religion of the Jedi. I'm sure the Scientology nutters will still be out there and will happily trace back their origins to the insane rantings of L. Ron Hubbard. The Jedi however, grounded in reality will be able to quote May 25th 1977 (or the equivalent on whatever calender they'll be using) as the date of "Creation".

My personal thanks to George Lucas our God, for giving us the joy of his personal vision and the creation of a belief system that promotes personal growth and the eradication of evil in all its forms.

I must also take this opportunity to personally thank Mr. Douglas Kastle for giving me his set of original version VHS videos of Star Wars shortly after I had embraced science fiction as a plausible medium on which to waste an abundance of time and money on for the rest of my life. I'd most likely not be here typing this were it not for his tireless efforts but out having a "real" life. Thanks Doug!

Finally I hope you will find some way to celebrate this, one of the most auspicious occasions today and for the remainder of this anniversary year. I predict that there will be some historic Star Wars events and announcements over the next few months and I'll be sure to let you know about them.

Bionic Woman

As I reported earlier, former Eastenders actress Michelle Ryan is set for massive success in the US with her new series Bionic Woman which was revealed in the latest 2IGTV to have been picked up for a full season on NBC beginning later in the year.

Seen here in the first images released of her in the role, Ryan will play Jamie Sommers, a tennis pro who suffers a near-fatal skydiving accident before her body is transformed with £25million worth of bionic wizardry.

In these shots from the pilot of the show, Jamie can be seen waking up with her new legs after the accident that put her in hospital. She also receives a bionic eye and a bionic arm. Producers say the pilot show for US network NBC will be a "re-imagination" of the original, a spin-off from cult hit The Six Million Dollar Man, which ran from 1976 to 1978 and starred Lindsay Wagner.

Ryan said "I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so I kind of enjoyed it all. I know, the title Bionic Woman - everybody has these iconic images, but I think with this series, what they want to do is make it very real...So Jamie Sommers is the girl next door, and she has had sort of a tragic younger life."

The series promises plenty of fighting and high-octane action for fans of the original. Here Jamie can be seen leaping from tall buildings, and engaging in martial arts style fighting in the driving rain with Katie (Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica) Sackoff who plays an older model Bionic Woman who has turned to the darkside. The show promises high-octane action and a realistic portrayal of a young woman whose life will never be quite the same after suffering serious injury.

An unknown in the US, and only here to EastEnders fans, the 23 year-old London-born actress has been quietly working to establish a career for herself in Hollywood.

Source: Daily Mail

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Starcraft 2 Announced

At the Blizzard WorldWide invitational in Seoul, Korea; Blizzard has made the announcement fans around the world have waited nearly ten years to hear: Blizzard is resurrecting the revered StarCraft franchise with StarCraft II.

What better place to do it in the land where StarCraft is practically a national sport and pro players are treated like rock stars. Not to mention that addiction to the game has killed several Koreans.

It was one of the only RTS game I've dabbled with myself many years ago. I loved the sound of the announcement "nuclear launch detected" as I decimated the Zerg (and any Protoss that got in my way). Yesssss indeed, Colonel Creedon did master StarCraft's little portion of the universe.

The sequel is apparently designed to be the ultimate competitive real-time strategy game, StarCraft II features the return of the Protoss, Terran, and Zerg races, overhauled and re-imagined with Blizzard's signature approach to game balance. Each race will be further distinguished from the others, with several new units and new gameplay mechanics, as well as new abilities for some of the classic StarCraft units that will be making a reappearance in the game. StarCraft II also featurse a custom 3D-graphics engine with realistic physics and the ability to render several large, highly detailed units and massive armies on-screen simultaneously.

There's some good coverage on Gamespy here (and scroll down for pics and video links) You may as well start there.

Source: Every single gaming site I came accross in the past week.
Image source: Gamespy

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Innocent MARINE gunned down - Part 9 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

Someone asked me why was I always taking the cops side in this "Shoot First" series? The cops aren't always right, are they? Sometimes, just maybe their kill may not be righteous.

Here's the exception then: A Marine who died recently was armed with two weapons and "posed an immediate threat" when he was shot twice by police officers, according to Onslow County, North Carolina, District Attorney’s office.

Staff Sgt. Neil Howard Manson, 40, was at the home of his estranged wife one early Monday morning when Jacksonville police received a 911 call about a gun-wielding man in a yard. When police arrived on the scene at about 7:20 a.m., they saw Manson displaying a gun.
The Marine's estranged wife was able to leave her home through a back door while he was outside the front door. She told police he was on anti-depressant medications.

As SWAT members went through the back door of the home, other officers surrounded the home and Manson. Authorities tried to call his cell phone to negotiate with him. It is unclear whether police reached him on his cell phone, but he agreed to lay down the loaded .38-caliber revolver he’d been holding.

At about 8:25 a.m., Manson opened the front door of the home and was met by a SWAT member. Video filmed from one of the police department’s vehicles captured images of Manson reaching into his coat pocket and removing a second handgun “in a threatening manner.” The weapon turned out to be a fully loaded .40-caliber semi-automatic pistol, according to police.

Officers fired at the Marine, hitting him twice. A Jacksonville police officer was also shot in the ankle. The release states that “no expended .40 caliber shell casing was located around Manson.”

Manson was transported to a hospital north of Jacksonville and died later that day.

Agents with North Carolina’s State Bureau of Investigation found letters written by Manson the same day he was shot and addressed to various people, including his estranged wife, his ex-wife, his son, his parents and a fellow Marine. He wrote that he loved them, that he would see them on “the other side” and that “he would be looking down from heaven.”

The district attorney’s office will not file criminal charges against the officers who fired at Manson.

Staff Sgt Manson was an enlisted aircrew training instructor with Marine Medium Tilt Rotor Training Squadron 204 at Marine Corps Air Station New River, according to Capt. Stuart Fugler, a New River spokesman. Prior to joining the MV-22 Osprey program, he was a CH-46 Sea Knight helicopter crew chief with Marine Medium Helicopter Squadron 261, also at New River, from 2001-2005. He also served a six-month tour in Iraq in 2004.

Source: Fox News

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Zodiac: Most Disappointing

The problem with true stories (unless they're about warfare) is that they're usually dull. This film sadly didn't change that particular opinion. The film is about a serial killer operating in the San Fransisco Bay Area in the late 60's. He sends cyphers to the major newspapers which supposedly reveal his identity. A young cartoonist becomes obsessed with solving the case of the killer who calls himself Zodiac.

The movie started out quite promising introducing the characters and of course the killer's atrocities in which I was I can say thoroughly engaged. However the movie took a downturn half-way through as the long drawn out investigation took its toll on the police and reporters investigating and finally delivered a lacklustre anti-climax.

What was the best thing about the movie was also the most disappointing: Zodiac only killed 4 people on screen and could only be confirmed as a killer of only a couple of others, hardly enough to warrant a 158 minute film!! The killings themselves were quite well photographed but most unimaginative; 3 shootings (one victim survived) and two stabbings? C'mon! They certainly could have at least a few arterial spurts. I mean just came off the set of a low-budget short film myself which has more gore in one poor sod than in all 4 victims here - I was kind of hoping for something a bit more from David Fincher, the man who directed the unique methodology of killing people in Se7en. I was prepared for that or something like SAW or Hostel but I was severely let down by the lack of creativity.

Jake Gyllenhaal was unconvincing as an obsessed cartoonist Robert Graysmith who lost almost his entire life to tracking down the Zodiac for years. The message we get from Graysmith is nothing more than a lesson to people that nothing is worth putting your family at risk or almost loosing them completely least of all to write a book? He was a Boy-Scout (or Eagle Scout as he corrected people) who didn't drink or smoke, which quite frankly was a bit hard to swallow in 1960's San Francisco. I'm sure it's true but it still felt like the film writers tacked on this to generate sympathy for or to make him more likeable to the audience considering his path to insane obsession. I think Gyllenhaal should probably avoid roles like this as coupled which his recent faggot cowboy and disrespectful whiny Marine characters should find himself out of the Hollywood spotlight pretty quick.

Robert Downey Jr. naturally stole the show from Gyllenhaal as the opposite of Graysmith playing crime reporter Paul Avery as he drank like a fish and obviously smoked anything smoke-able (you wouldn't expect if from Downey at all eh? LOL). Downey (currently filming Iron Man - in case you didn't know) was the main reason I went to see this movie but while his performance was flawless it was hardly worth the price of admission as he wasn't in the latter half of the movie but for a brief few seconds. I will say that his dialogue especially in scenes with Gyllenhaal as well written:

Graysmith: Does anybody ever call me names?
Avery: You mean like 'retard'?
Graysmith: Yeah.
Avery: No.

Mark The Last Castle Ruffalo and Anthony ER Edwards (right) are great as a Starsky & Hutch-like police duo who investigate the Zodiac in San Fransisco. It's interesting to see that their investigative efforts are hampered by the general lack of existence of a protocol of co-operation between different police departments in the nearby SF Bay counties.

Brian Cox, magnificent as always, played Melvin Belli a famous lawyer who represented Jack Ruby as well as a host of celebrities (they even reference Belli's famous appearance in Star Trek at the time). Cox does a fantastic job and his addition to the film was most welcome.

The director David Fincher had previously directed the aforementioned Se7en (which I didn't like, but everyone else did) as well as the underrated The Game (which I liked but no one else did) and the excellent Fight Club (which we all liked) so my expectations of this film were high for a movie with an extraordinary climax which would become the stuff of movie legend for years to come but no, this ends with a whimper not a bang.

Final word: Started well, good supporting characters but it's much too long and it's not often I look at my watch waiting for an ending that I didn't even receive. I broke my own rule of seeing a non-military true story in the cinema and wasted time and money that could have been better spent. I vow never to make that mistake again.

Colonel Creedon Rating **

Saturday, May 19, 2007

2IGTV Episode 41

Devastating news for fans of Thomas Jane and The Punisher in this episode. We let you know who's starring with Edward Norton in The Hulk and with Eric Johnson in Flash Gordon.

We let you know the future for The Terminator franchise. We'll also let you know why we think Brian DePalma's (right) Untouchables prequel will suck! Learn where you can hear our countryman Liam Neeson next- it's not where you may think. We also pass on word from John Voight that no one is safe and to stay on the alert from those darn terrorists - they're everywhere!

Finally we reveal the US Television Networks Fall slates with yelps of joy, cries of sorrow and shrieks of laughter. Discover what we (and you) could be watching later in the year.

All this an much more here.

Friday, May 18, 2007

SOCOM celebrates 20th anniversary

An Air Force transport plane and a Navy helicopter collided on the ground in an Iranian desert in April 1980, killing eight men in a botched mission to rescue 53 American hostages. The incident underscored for military commanders and Congress that special operations required more money and major organizational reforms.

John Carney, a retired Air Force colonel who was involved in the botched Iranian hostage rescue, said special operations were being methodically dismantled and underfunded after the Vietnam War. When called on by President Carter for the Iran mission, he said, “we couldn't have been in a worse state.”

A congressional act called for a unified command for all special forces with its own resources, commander and headquarters. U.S. Special Operations Command (SOCOM) was activated on April 16, 1987, headquartered at MacDill Air Force Base. The unified command gave special operations money and a four-star general at the helm who got to work re-equipping it and clarifying the roles of the individual services and their training programs. Since then, its commandos have fought in Operation Desert Storm and carried out missions from the Persian Gulf to Somalia, usually with little fanfare.

As SOCOM celebrates twenty years of service, it has been thrust into a front-and-center role organizing and coordinating the war against terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan, where its highly trained commandos have been key players. Gen. Bryan “Doug” Brown the SOCOM commander, said the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks and the country’s new focus on smoking out terrorists “changed how we do business.”

The number of deployed special operations personnel has grown from an average of around 2,400 before the GWOT to an all-time high of about 7,400. Personnel under SOCOM’s authority have swollen to a record high of about 48,000 around the world and recently activate a Marine component. In the GWOT, special operators have, among other things, hunted down high-profile terrorists, trained Iraqi security forces, plucked wounded soldiers from war zones and engaged in the psychological battle for the hearts and minds of civilians.

Lt. Gen. Michael W. Wooley, chief of the Air Force Special Operations Command, which falls under the SOCOM command umbrella, acknowledges that the war prompted more efficient training to get qualified people through faster: “I deal with thoroughbreds, and thoroughbreds want to run the Kentucky Derby or any of the Triple Crown races. Our folks have been training for this war for many, many years.”

“I saw it rise from the ashes in the desert to the capability it has today,” John Carney said. “Now there is no special operations capability in the world that can compare to what we have.”

Souce: AP

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Verhoeven Knighted

One of the greatest motion picture directors ever; Paul Verhoeven was knighted recently in his native Netherlands. Verhoeven, one of the most visible Dutch filmmakers in the movie business, received the honor in a recent medal ceremony under the Order of the Dutch Lion; such titles are usually given by the Royal Family for achievements in sports and the arts.

Verhoeven's knighthood comes as his most recent film, Black Book, completes its worldwide theatrical run in July.

Most people know Verhoeven for his earlier Hollywood works, most of which carried his directorial signature for over the top sex, action, and graphic content such as: Flesh + Blood, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers, Hollow Man and the greatest movie of all time: Robocop.

He once said: "People love seeing violence and horrible things. The human being is bad and he can't stand more than five minutes of happiness. Put him in a dark theater and ask him to look at two hours of happiness and he'd walk out or fall asleep".

Verhoeven would never turn down an award. He famously was the first person in history to actually show up at the Razzie Awards. Where he personally accepted his Worst Director "award" for Showgirls.

Source: Rotten Tomatoes

Lt. Gen. Lute will be War Czar

You've probably heard the term War Czar used in the news recently. This is a slang name for a position the Bush administration has created to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies.

President Bush has chosen US Army Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute, the Pentagon's director of operations J-3, to oversee the fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan as a war czar after a long search for new leadership. In the newly created position, Lute will serve as an assistant to the president and national security adviser, and would also maintain his military status and rank as a three-star general.

Creation of the new job comes as the administration tries to use a combat troop buildup in Iraq to bring a degree of calm so political reconciliation can take hold. The White House has sought a war coordinator to eliminate conflicts among the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies — and to speak for the president at times.

General Lute, a West Point graduate became director of operations for the JCOS in September. Before that, he served as director of operations at CENTCOM, during which he oversaw combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, along with other regions.

General Lute's title will be Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Adviser for Iraq and Afghanistan Policy and Implementation. He will report directly to President Bush as well as National Security Advisor Stephen J. Hadley. His position is considered to be an assistant to the President. He also has the authority to issue inter-agency directions, an authority the civilian equivalent predecessor did not have.

Source: Fox News, Reuters, US Army Public Affairs

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

28 Weeks Later: Not a Sequel

Three things before I start here:

1. Let me tell you that 28 Weeks Later is to 28 Days Later as chalk is to cheese. It shouldn't even be called a sequel.

2. 28 Weeks is vastly superior to 28 Days.

3. I've forgotten about Spider-Man 3 now, the satisfactory experience from 28 Weeks has expunged it from my memory.

The most terrifying invention of the 21st Century is not some new WMD chemical weapon or an iPhone; it's Fast Zombies.

Danny Boyle was rather adamant that his 28 Days zombies weren't really zombies as they weren't dead but just suffering from the effect of a virus that could potentially be cured unlike true zombies. I tend to disagree and call them zombies because they have their singular purpose: to get you, they infect or kill you like real zombies and they bleed out through their bodily orifices- sounds like zombies to me. Some folk didn't believe they were true zombies because they were fast- Boyle's zombies could run while true zombies were slow and lumbering. When Valve created their sequel to Half-Life, they made some of their new-improved zombies quite fast and they became twice as deadly and much more terrifying (bastards!). Zack Snyder jumped on the bandwagon and remade Dawn Of The Dead with fast zombies too and it worked.

Fast Zombies are fuckin' scary.

Alien sucked in comparison to Aliens, Why? Because Ripley and her crew were not a group of heavily armed combat marines with a magnificent array of weapons. I'm not to partial to what in video game terms is "survival horror" and I'm growing increasingly bored by it on screen. I'm not really entertained by a bunch of schoolkids or some Joe-Soap running from a monster-of-the-week. It's much better to have trained heavily-armed military personnel up against such beasties. Case-in-point: The greatest Werewolf movie ever made was Dog Soldiers.

28 Weeks Later has Boyle's zombies but there its similarity to the original ends. While 28 Days was a "Horror of Armageddon" film with a pinch of military combat. 28 Weeks is half a military combat film and half "Horror of Armageddon" and it's all the better for it. Director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo does an excellent job of surpassing the original and exceeding all expectations.

Just to sell you on the story: 28 Weeks Later picks up as you may gather, 28 Weeks after the Rage virus outbreak. The Rage victims have died of starvation by now and survivors have gathered to the East End of London where the mighty US Army has established fortifications and brought evacuees and others who were obviously not in Britain at the time of the initial outbreak. One of the survivors is Don (Robert Carlyle) who is reunited with his two children who were in Spain at a British refugee camp.

Obviously even with security the way it is there is inevitably a second outbreak. The military commander, Brigadier General Stone declares containment is lost and orders the Army to kill everyone, infected or not. Which is fuckin' awesome and exactly what I would do, but by different means. There's some excellent sniper action here and clear evidence that that the director has played many video games- which is a good thing.

One sniper is Sgt. Doyle (Jeremy Renner) who defies Stone's order rather than shoot a kid and so he and a group of people go on the run both from the zombies and the military. It does get a bit survival-horror halfway through the movie but Doyle is armed with an M4A1 so we have at least one character periodically spitting lead which kept my attention.

I think Renner works much better as a good guy here after seeing him in the dark-side in S.W.A.T. Robert Carlyle is excellent as guilt-ridden father after cowardly leaving his wife at the mercy of zombies. Sadly he is under utilised for half the film and he fails to impact on the screen as mush as he did when he was a Bond-villain. Mark Tildesley's production design especially the devastation of London is exquisite. John Murphy returns to deliver a vibrant electric score to supplement the spine-tingling narrative pace.

The body count thankfully high due to the carnage unleashed on screen. I will ask you to take note of something I've always wanted to see a helicopter do to people, but zombies will do instead. Don't miss this.

Colonel Creedon Rating: ****1/2

Monday, May 14, 2007

Do Something Amazing - Act In Iron Man

"Do Something Amazing", that's the flyboy's slogan and they're doing it by appearing in Iron Man. It seems like the Stargate series won't be the only free advertising the US Air Force gets.

In this article on it's revealed that due to it's proximity to Hollywood, Edwards AFB is often a shooting ground for film-makers wishing their product to be as authentic as possible, and it looks like Fav is pushing the envelope for a "Comic-Book movie". Well worth checking out.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Iron Man is Nimble!

An interesting story here about the upcoming Iron Man film. Apparently a news website I often scower for news posted a video that was taken by someone spying on the film set. On the video you'll see (presumably a stunt-man inside) the Iron Man suit moving about and lying down on a closed lane on a freeway. It certainly clears up a few questions that people had been wondering about: Namely that the overuse of CGI that plagued Spider-Man won't be a prevalent here and that Iron Man himself will be rather nimble.

You almost didn't get to see this because some muppet at Paramount's legal department had IESB's ISP take their site offline until a cooler head at Paramount pointed out that Paramount did not own footage taken by fans and thus cannot legally prevent the footage from being netcast.

I guess they'll just have to hire more security... ...and arm them :)

Source: IESB

Friday, May 11, 2007

Sizemore Arrested (Again)!

You'd think he'd have copped on by now? But no. Good ol' Tom Sizemore has been arrested again, this time on suspicion of using crystal methamphetamine in a car outside a hotel in Bakersfield, California.

The 45-year-old actor, who is on probation for a 2004 drug offense, was picked up by police yesterday morning after an associate, Jason Salcido, reportedly got into an altercation with an employee of the Four Points Sheraton hotel. Sizemore was taken into custody when cops then searched a car he was sitting in, allegedly finding two bags of crystal methamphetamine and pipes. The pair were booked for investigation of possession of methamphetamine, being under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of narcotic paraphernalia.

I think it's time for Tom to join his old friend Paris in the state pen.

Source: IMDB News

Monday, May 07, 2007

Star Wars: Robot Chicken Trailer

As you may have heard on 2IGTV Episode 40; Seth Green and the guys at Robot Chicken have got together with God himself and have created a 30 minute Robot Chicken show dedicated to Star Wars in honour of the saga's 30th Anniversary this year.

The show premieres on June 17 on Adult Swim.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Spider-Man 3: Complete Shit!

"I'm seriously worried that the whole thing is going to go awry". That's what I said waaay back in January 2006 when they revealed the casting choices and character selections for Spider-Man 3. And boy was I right (as I usually am) but never did I think that it would be this bad. Just to note: I am going to spoil everything here so if you're stupid enough to go and see Spider-Man 3 and don't want it ruined (more than Raimi has done) then don't continue past this line.
Spider-Man 3 sucked major ass. I don't know what the fuck happened. A nuclear bomb went off on this production and nothing could have saved this atrocious mess. I've often been criticised by not rating movies other than the ones that get 4 or 5 stars so this will be a departure from that policy big time.

To be quite honest I don't know where to begin, Okay they crammed three bad guys into this movie: Harry Osbourne who of course takes up the mantle of the Green Goblin to exact revenge on Peter Parker / Spider-Man for the death of his father. Then we have an angst ridden version of the Sandman another of Spider-Man's staple villains from the comic-book. Finally there was the much hyped Venom, who is a great character in the book but on screen is a load of crap; Amateurish CGI and a ridiculous "origin" plot cement the big-screen Venom as the worst move ever made by Raimi. With that lot there I was half-expecting Hobgoblin, Kraven, Vulture, Scorpion, Shocker and Rhino to turn up as well.

The plot of this movie veered so far off course from the comic-book that it didn't seem like a Spidey flick at all. The obvious love that Raimi had for Spider-Man's established lore showed in the care care and attention to the characters of the first 2 films, but this was in no-way evident on screen last evening. As I said in my previous post Gwen Stacy shouldn't have been here at all, Eddie Brock should be a 6-foot football jock not a Daily Bugle photographer, and the whole Uncle-Ben-was-actually-killed-by-Marko was quite frankly insane. The origin of Venom I may have lived with if it had sped up the film and they hadn't introduced the astronaut John Jameson in Spider-Man 2 who was supposed to bring the Venom symbiont to Earth thus ruining a perfect already established plot device.

The movie was far too long by about 25 mins, Raimi tried to pile too much on here. He had two new villains who needed origins, motivations and alter-ego's. One villain too many I say, either Sandman or Venom should have been chucked during the editing of the script especially if they were intent on exploring Harry Osbourne/Green Goblin, thus eliminating their origins and alter ego storyline as well. Gwen Stacy/Captain Stacy had no business really in the film they could have been cut too. There wasn't enough Daily Bugle/J. Jonah Jameson scenes and the snappy dialogue crafted for J.K. Simmons in the previous movies was absent here, it was like a character trying to be J.J. but not hitting the mark, it would have made more sense to have a J.J. hell-bent on tracking down the new black-suited-wall-crawling menace. All those changes may have made the movie less of a mess and less disjointed as opposed to watching Peter, Mary Jane, Harry, Sandman and Venom's mediocre storylines converge in a climax that while spectacular- I had lost interest about 45 minutes earlier and just didn't give a shit at that stage.

Despite having the character of Harry Osbourne assassinated by the writers, "I protected you in school" - He what? He was an asshole in school! James Franco seemed to be the only person even trying to act on screen, how fitting it is then for in a film like this that he dies. Another major problem is that they cast Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy who unfortunately is a superior actress (with a superior bod) to Kirsten Dunst, it's unbelievable for Peter not to dump Mary Jane for Gwen. Dunst carried it off well for the previous two movies but her on-screen charisma is nothing in comparison to Howard. Thomas Hayden Church has come a long way from the village-idiot Lowell on the sit-com Wings but fails to impact as this over-dramatized Sandman. Topher Grace is an excellent comedy actor and his performance here should remind him to stay with the comedy genre. The best thing about this film wasn't even J.K. Simmons this time round, it was the amazing Bruce Campbell in a 2 minute cameo as a "French" waiter who easily stole the show.

Final word: Sam Raimi has turned what should have been an awesome trilogy to rank up there with Indy, LOTR and Terminator but has soiled the franchise with this excrement even worse then Brett Ratner did with X:3.


Friday, May 04, 2007

God on Conan - No more kiddie animation!

God himself was a guest on Late Night with Conan O'Brien this week. The nearly ten-minute interview contained many humorous moments, such as O'Brien introducing Lucas to some Star Wars inspired characters, including the religious "Jewbacca."

The conversation also briefly turned to the topic of the upcoming Star Wars animated series. "It's an animated series about the Clone Wars," God said. "It's very much Star Wars. It's not a South Park comedy. It's not a kiddies SpongeBob SquarePants. It's sort of the first dramatic animated show that is PG-13. So it doesn't really go on late night, it doesn't go on Saturday afternoon. It actually doesn't go anywhere. I don't know what we're going to do with it, but we're having a great time making it!"

While the marketing strategy appears to be up in the air, it's not as if there's a TV executive who'd want to end his career so foolishly by passing on a Star Wars show!

Watch the whole thing below if you so desire...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Iron Man's REAL suit!

While it may have been built and "reality tweaked" by Stan Winston, this is quite irrefutably based on Adi Granov's Iron Man suit first seen in the "Extremis" storyline which debuted the current sell-out run of Iron Man.

I suspected they'd go with this since Granov drew the teaser poster in July and as I hoped they kept the circular Uni-beam chest -light as opposed to the modern triangular version. The shoulder plates and knee-joints are more like the armour worn by Iron Man in 2002 as opposed to Granov's later designs.

It was obvious that there would be tweaking and the armour wouldn't match exactly to an armour in the book but I'm still genuinely surprised by how faithful Favreau is to the source material.

Source: AICN (Read my comment there!)

2IGTV Episode 40

In this milestone 40th Episode:
Bruce Campbell's latest movie, Raimi is considering Hobbit, the Joker ain't camp, Hitman has a plot and DVD sales drop. Chow bails on Woo, Harmon may bail on NCIS but Baldwin can't bail on 30 Rock. Prepare yourself for Star Robot Chicken Wars and a young Magneto.

Download it here!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

No Age Limit for Righteous Kill - Part 8 of my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series

Law enforcers fatally shot a 13-year-old boy after he fired a gun at them on a state highway.

The boy, Mark Keeley was declared dead early, soon after he was shot and flown to a hospital in Great Falls. Chouteau County Sheriff Vern Burdick said the boy was driving a car that matched the description of one involved in a gasoline drive-off. The boy would not pull over, and a state trooper stopped the vehicle by placing "stop sticks" on the highway.

The boy then fired a gun, striking the deputy's patrol car, and continued driving on flat tires. He fired rounds at the deputy and the trooper, who both returned fire.

Both the deputy and the trooper are on paid leave until the state finishes its investigation, he said. They were not injured.

I myself envision a day where potential for criminal activity will be identified at an earlier age and the child can be summarily executed saving money, police time, due process, damage to property, loss of innocent life and more importantly without the need for wasting ammo.