Rest in Peace my friend

 

 

Today the family and friends of one of my own dear friends gathered to say goodbye to him. While he peacefully passed away on the 4th of the month, it seemed so surreal to me that it's really only now I can acknowledge it. While he was added to the UK's Covid-19 statistics he will never be a statistic for me, he was a good friend and his name was James Dutton.

 

While his physical form is gone, James will for me, forever be a collection of fond memories that began on September 3rd 1997 when we started working together in our early 20s. He was a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek, loved the music of Hans Zimmer and acknowledged Michael Bay as the greatest director of the time; so naturally we were instantly friends. For the next few years James instructed me on the finer points of Dungeons & Dragons which we played with friends and he would often come to my house to play LAN games of Quake, Unreal Tournament and StarCraft. While I always maintained we were evenly matched, James would hold his chin and go "hmmm!?" whenever I mentioned it, but I now freely admit to never being able to beat his Sithlord at Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight (even when I modded my character to have two lightsabers).

 

James was a fiercely loyal friend who never denied a favour or failed to offer advice. To those who didn't know him well he presented as a quintessentially polite British gentleman from a BBC period drama. Once you knew him better, you'd discover his sharp wit and experience an endless supply of colourful insults - many in different languages. He would often speak about topics covering business, law, economics, finance and politics - sometimes within the same conversation - and he would not be dissuaded from an opinion he held dearly.

 

While he left Ireland to return to live in South Yorkshire in the early 2000's, the magic of social media allowed us to keep in touch after text messaging became passé and James often posted here as the Sith Apologist I will miss his honest takes on the news of the day, his amusing yet often blasphemous (to me) Star Wars memes and most prominently our general banter.

 

Goodbye old friend, you're one with the force and you'll never be forgotten as I'll always remember you especially every time I 'Roll a 20'.

Movie review catch-up 09-10-13

Due to reasons of international security, being away from the bunker for a series of military operations and attending the general officer's orientation course, my movie reviews slipped but I do have time for a quick rundown...

Kick-Ass 2

In the sublime original Kick-Ass we saw our geeky hero get the idea that anyone can be a superhero in the modern world if you’re prepared to put up with both the hilarious, and dire consequences of putting on a wetsuit and wading knee-deep into the criminal underworld. It was an OTT action setup and a uniquely fresh entry into the saturated genre. Kick-Ass 2 is different, now Kick-Ass decides that he’d be better off as part of a team and so seeks out and finds an unlikely band of social misfits led by Jim Carrey - who delivers a superb performance as Colonel Stars & Stripes [a pity you can’t actually stand by the performance Jim, it’s one of your better ones] and together they go and dispense justice, with baseball bats.

 

To be honest however, it’s actually the movie’s b-story that seems more fluid and less forced and this centres on Chloe Grace Moretz’ Hit-Girl as she basically comes of age. To be honest it’s far more entertaining to see a schoolgirl/professional vigilante try to fit in to ‘normal’ [un]civilised society than it was to watch Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the idiotically-titled The Mutherfucker, deliver another failed attempt at being evil [including the always unwelcome “comedy rape” scenario] with the most ridiculous dialogue ever.

Kick-Ass 2 is one of those rare occasions not seen since Men In Black II, when the second movie of a series pales in comparison to the original. It is more likened to Superman 2 as a sequel - it had all the action and excitement of the original but none of the charm which breathes life into a movie and enables repeat watching years down the line. I can’t see myself deliberately watching this again sadly. 

Colonel Creedon rating: **

Elysium

 

There was never any doubt that Neill Blomkamp would make another movie after the success of District 9. This time he got more money, and sidelined his former leading man The A-Team’s Sharlto Copely to the role of the antagonist in favour of Hollywood A-lister Matt Damon. The result is a competent and often thrilling yet somewhat derivative science fiction tale that could have been an extraordinary example of modern cinematic excellence, but falls short due to Jodie Foster’s woeful performance [and strange dubbing] as well as over 100 glaring plot holes that make confetti of an otherwise solid screenplay.

Colonel Creedon rating: ***1/2

2 Guns

The cinema is a time travel device. Through the images on the screen and sounds surrounding you, you can literally be transported to any place, any time. To use this wonderful prose to describe a bog-standard action-buddy-movie made in 2013 and by all reckoning, set in 2013 may seem a waste but that's not the type of time displacement at work here. 

 

No, you see this movie is from 1990. It's as if it was made in the late 1980's early 1990's, it's story, it's action, Denzel and Markie Mark's acting, it's singular simplicity and sense of purpose is straight from that glorious era of cinema. There have been many recent contenders to it's genre The Last Stand, Bullet to the Head, 12 Rounds, but none of them capture the essence of the 90's as well as this hidden gem!

Colonel Creedon rating: ****

Pain & Gain

A pun on 'No pain, no gain' this flick is at it's heart, a bodybuilding movie but it's wrapped up in a crime caper. The main hook of this movie is not that it's Mark Wahlberg and The Rock together on screen [although that's certainly interesting], it's the fact that the movie is directed by Michael Bay.

 

What you have to try to do is forget the usual formula of the majestic and explosive banality that is Bay. This is different. Here there is a message. It's as if for the first time, Bay is actually trying to tell us something, to tell a story! Sadly he chooses to alter the true events in such a manner as to portray the 'Sun Gym crew' in a sympathetic light, much to media [and victims relatives] chagrin and I can see their point.

While it is entertaining, it's leads do some of their better acting of their careers as well as excellently supported by Tony Shalhoub and the legendary Ed Harris, it's still insanely edited with the usual helping of slow motion for which there is no place in something like this, a bizarre satirical comedy crime-caper - based on true events.

Colonel Creedon rating: ***

Riddick

Isn’t Riddick great? He can fall hundreds of feet with tonnes of rock resulting only in a dislocated ankle - which is easily reset of course and held in place with screws through some armour. He can tame predatory wild beasts by kicking them in the face and glaring at them menacingly. He can immunise himself against toxic alien poison by deliberately introducing it into his bloodstream. He can behead people on the other side of room with both hands tied behind his back. He’s so masculine that he can ‘cure’ lesbianism. Yes Riddick is great, even when the script is the written equivalent of a 14 year old’s book report.

 

Bottom line, nowhere near the excellence of Pitch Black but easily surpasses the nonsense of The Chronicles of Riddick and allows to to see that only Vin Diesel can actually be out-acted by CGI.

Colonel Creedon rating: ****

R.I.P.D.

Read this and tell me if you’ve heard this plot before:

A young rookie cop gets recruited by a secret organisation unknown to the world and gets partnered up with a old crusty veteran. With the aid of advanced technology they go off and apprehend/shoot abnormal beings before the world finds any of them exist.

If at any point you thought “Colonel! That’s Men In Black”, you’d be right - but this is R.I.P.D., a cheap knock-off that’s substitutes the aliens with undead but otherwise is exactly the same premise.

 

While it’s fair to say it was fun, the lack of charm mixed with the woefully wooden Ryan Reynolds coupled with Jeff Bridges phoning it in is a stumbling block that will push this movie into oblivion. Thankfully it bombed so we’ll be spared any sort of sequel which could have similarly R.I.P.D.O.F.F. the plot of the already substandard MIB2 – shudder!

Colonel Creedon rating: *

"No more Tony Scott movies. Tragic day" - Ron Howard

I awoke Monday morning to find a shocking message on my phone from Mr. V, telling me that one of my top five favourite motion picture directors Tony Scott was dead. I was devastated as this was both awful news and completely unexpected.

Scott was born in England in 1944 the younger of three brothers, Frank Scott died of cancer in 1980 and his surviving sibling is acclaimed director Ridley Scott. Tony followed in Ridley's footsteps with regards to his education and initially wanted to become a painter, but the success of his brother making TV commercials made him change his mind and he joined Ridley's outfit.

Scott made a commercial for Saab in the early 80's which showed one of the high performance cars racing a fighter jet. This caught the eye of famous producing duo Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer who convinced a reluctant Scott to direct their little fighter plane movie. Top Gun went on to gross $176m cementing the producing careers of Simpson and Bruckheimer, making a star of Tom Cruise and catapulting Scott to the A-List of Hollywood action directors.

Scott directed the Beverly Hills Cop sequel for Simpson and Bruckheimer which became one of 1987's highest grossing movies. In 1990 he directed the big-budget successful racing movie Days of Thunder working with Simpson, Bruckheimer and Cruise again and gave the scoring job to German composer Hans Zimmer who had begun to make a name for himself as well. A year later Scott saved the ailing career of Bruce Willis after his Hudson Hawk disaster by directing him in The Last Boyscout, a personal favourite of mine, written by Shane Lethal Weapon Black.

In 1993 Scott directed what many regard as his crowning achievement. It is to say the least one of the most memorable movies of the 90's and furthered the career of it's quirky writer Quentin Tarentino perhaps more than it did Scott's. The $13m True Romance featured a star-studded cast including Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, James Gandolini, Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken, Tom Sizemore, Brad Pitt and Val Kilmer and another score by Hans Zimmer. While a critical success, the movie was a box office failure at the time.

Before the end of the decade Scott directed both of what I think are is best movies. Again for Bruckheimer and Simpson, Scott directed the supremely talented Denzel Washington and the legendary Gene Hackman at the very top of their game in one of my favourite movies period - Crimson Tide. The submarine thriller was acclaimed as a war-movie with a difference as it excited intellect as well as a lust for action. It was nominated for 3 Academy awards for editing and it's score won a Grammy for Hans Zimmer.

Scott re-teamed with Jerry Bruckheimer [producing solo now following the death of Don Simpson] and working again with Gene Hackman, directed the sublime spy-action-thriller Enemy of The State with Will Smith. Here he began working with Hans Zimmer's protégé Harry Gregson-Williams who continued to score all subsequent movies of the director's career. Despite portraying the efficiency and technology of US government intelligence to science-fiction proportions, nonetheless Enemy of The State was a thrilling and exciting chase movie that was a box-office success.

At the turn of the century Scott's career took a turn that I wasn't overtly happy with. 2001's Spy Game is the last of his movies that I added to my optical disc collection. I would describe it as a little more realistic spy movie than Enemy of the State but despite good performances from Robert Redford and Brad Pitt, it's overall not as exciting as his previous offerings. The decision to not make any effort to either age [or youth] the characters over the course of the 16-year span of the plot is one that vexes me to this day.

2004's Man on Fire was also a well produced revenge thriller with an exceptional performance from Denzel Washington, but I felt that the pacing of the movie overall was more than a little off and not all the bad guys were killed at the end, but Washington's character was. Despite changing Tarantino's bleak ending to a happy one for True Romance, Scott chose not to do that here, using the book's non-Hollywood ending and ultimately failing.

Scott choose to adapt two true stories into movies before the untimely end of his career. The first was the 2005 unconventional biopic on the life of Domino Harvey, the English born daughter of actor Lawrence Harvey who became a bounty hunter in L.A. Starring Kiera Knightly, the movie was both critically and commercially unsuccessful. I would regard it as "unmemorable". The other movie was Unstoppable, loosely based on the CSX 8888 incident in Ohio in 2001. Once again starring Denzel Washington as an almost retired railroad engineer, this time paired with a cocky rookie Chris Pine who have to do their best to stop a runaway train. This movie would be a commercial success in 2010 and the last movie Scott would direct.

Scott's other movies included: The Hunger ['83], the thriller Revenge with Kevin Costner in 1990 and The Fan a sports-themed psychological thriller with Robert DeNiro and Wesley Snipes ['96]. Scott also directed Déjà Vu, a misjudged science-fiction movie again with Denzel and produced by Bruckheimer and the 2009 remake of the 1974 movie The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.

Scott had become a prolific producer and executive producer in his late career mainly for television but for many movies, especially his own and those of his brother. Among such projects were Man on Fire, Domino, The Company, The Taking of Pelham 123, Numb3rs, the 2010 The A-Team movie, The Pillars of the Earth, Unstoppable, The Grey and Prometheus. He had over a dozen projects in different stages of pre/post production including Top Gun 2!

Scott was nominated for 5 Emmys winning one along with the other producers of The Gathering Storm in 2002 and was awarded the Michael Bacon Award at the BAFTAs in 1995.

I must admit to being somewhat angry. I cannot condone suicide as a course of action in this case. At the time I write, it has not yet been established if a rumoured diagnosis of terminal, inoperable brain cancer was the cause of Scott's decision to jump off Vincent Thomas Bridge over Los Angeles Harbor at lunchtime on Sunday. However illness or not, his apparent "decision" shows a clear disregard for those he has left behind especially his 12 year old twin boys who must now grow up with this social stigma.That said, if I can respect the acting talents of such reprehensible individuals as Mel Gibson and Tom Sizemore, I can most certainly respect the work of Tony Scott although I may not be able to respect the man. 

I read in an obituary on Fox News that Ridley Scott later directed "more and bigger hits than his brother and earned a level of critical respect never achieved by Tony Scott. "Gladiator" won the best-picture Academy Award for 2000 and earned Ridley Scott one of his three best-director nominations; Tony Scott never was in the running for an Oscar, and critics often slammed his movies for emphasizing style over substance." - and that's why I liked him. Why is that a bad thing critics?

While those facts can't be disputed I would argue that Tony's quality of work is more consistent than his brother's. Blade Runner, Black Hawk Down and Gladiator [I don't like Alien] may all be superior movies to any of Tony's but that's really about it. Ridley's G.I.Jane and Black Rain are as good as anything his brother has done but when Ridley screws up critically or commercially he does so in earnest and more royally then Tony ever did. Kingdom of Heaven, Matchstick Men, Robin Hood, A Good Year and don't get me started on Prometheus...

I enjoyed Tony Scott's movies for his adhesion to a frenetic but not nauseating camera style which seemed to focus on the depth of action rather than just the surface. His kinetic, choppy editing is very different from Michael Bay's but I like it for similar reasons. I also like the fact that most of my favourite movies of his end in a shootout and that's pretty much how I know my life will end, I only hope it's as dramatic.

Goodbye Tony

Dark of the Moon is explosively bright!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the third and final part of Michael Bay's magnum opus - The Transformers trilogy - is upon us.

Bay promised to correct the "errors in judgement" he had with Revenge Of The Fallen in 2009, but not only had he to do that; he also had to end his tale with such a bang that it would resonate throughout the history of cinema for years to come. He was also faced with impossible mission of exciting the predominately male audience with a sexy female lead more delectable than Megan Fox.

Well 2 outta 3 ain't bad Michael.

The problems with Revenge were indeed corrected thankfully, basically by ignoring them. Gone was the idea of The Fallen, somehow superior to Megatron. Absent were Decepticon "hatchlings" and the Autobot "twins" perceived as racist by many, were nowhere to be seen. The over-long comedy sequences with the Witwicky family were reduced to a minimum for the third movie's pretty lengthy running time. So it's basically safe to say that Bay kept his word and stuck to the core ideas he began with in the original Transformers.

Did he manage to end his tale with a bang? Aye, he sure did. Dark of the Moon was most certainly the loudest, most explosion-ey movie Bay has ever done and took full advantage of being able to blow half of a $195m budget on pyrotechnics [reserving the other half for CGI]. The addition of the third dimension was a bold move for a man who admitted severe difficulty with the format in the way he films. Nevertheless, he produced stunning three dimensional imagery that complimented what would be the greatest on screen battles of the series.

While Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving and others all returned to portray the characters they had in the previous two movies, Megan Fox's unfortunate reference to Bay as "Hitler" during an interview angered producer Steven Spielberg who had Bay remove her from the project. Bay replaced Fox with British underwear model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley [I'm sorry but am I the only person who thinks she got punched in the upper lip by someone?] in the part of Sam's new girlfriend Carly [a nod to Carly Witwicky, Spike's wife in the G1 series]. It is being said by all who have witnessed her performance that Huntington-Whiteley's acting talents make Megan Fox seem like Katharine Hepburn by comparison. It would have been alright for her to just sit there and pout or run and scream as necessary for the scene but they made the mistake of giving her lines of dialog, and also the most unconvincing speech I've heard in an age. Not since Kate Bosworth's abysmal performance in Superman Returns have I actually been so annoyed at the emptiness of a performance by a leading lady.

Aside from that, Ehren Kruger's screenplay brought a cohesiveness to the action that seemed to escape Orci and Kurtzman in the previous installments. Dark of the Moon seems to posess a slightly more engaging plot, what with the idea of the space race of the 1960's being a response to The Ark's crash and the purpose of the Apollo program being a mission to discover what landed there. There is even an appearance by Buzz Aldrin portraying himself to confirm what it was that he found up there all those years ago [and driving the conspiracy nuts - those that believe the moon landing was real at least - demented for decades to come]. The movie does take a slightly tedious turn during the first hour where we are re-introduced to Sam whose life has taken a turn for the worse economically and he's unemployed [Bay's commentary on the dire job crisis?] but he's still scored high in the romance department [if you're into totally brain-dead bimbos] and his lighthearted adventures soon turn deadly.

The McGuffin of the piece is not the All-Spark or the Matrix of Leadership this time but another significant piece of Transformers technology plucked from over 25 years of Transformers lore - The Space Bridge, which would allow the Decepticons to unleash their overwhelming army directly from Cybertron to the Earth in seconds. The bridge can only be controlled however by Sentinel Prime [Leonard Nimoy] the former leader of the Autobots who has been discovered and brought back to life, so thankfully the Space Bridge technology is in good hands.

The weak-bladdered brigade who whine at the likes of Gladiator and The Dark Knight will no doubt do the same at Dark Of The Moon for being too long. They don't understand that when something of this quality is produced, you may need more time to present it adequately. That said, a 15 minute shaving off Sam's job hunting sequence probably wouldn't have been too lamented if it went missing [so long as it didn't remove John Malkovich's crazy cameo].


Final Verdict: The finale to Bay and LaBeouf's run in the series is an explosive climax to one of the most successful trilogies of all time. Dark of the Moon corrects the flaws of it's predecessor but because of it's own issues, it can't touch the original, the entirely flawless progenitor that is Transformers - which was the best movie of it's decade. Takings of over $1Bn dollars and becoming currently the 5th highest grossing film of all time in only six weeks have secured the future of this franchise for another outing, and it will be interesting to see who will take the tale of the cinematic Robots in Disguise to their next level.

Colonel Creedon Verdict: *****

Read my original Transformers review [Exempt] from July 07 and my Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review [*****] from July 2009.

The Colonel's Bullets - November 15th 2010

Paramount Pictures

Star Trek 2 has no villain announced yet. Klingons? Khan? but we know it will be characters or a character we already know, now in a "reboot" form. J.J. Still not assigned to direct but movie on track for 29/06/12.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the final part of Bay's Transformers trilogy will bookend the tale in a spectacular fashion blowing $250m in gigantic robots and associated explosions. In this new movie, the Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the U.S. and Russia.

G.I. Joe 2 is in progress, Stephen Sommers will return to direct while Zombieland writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, were hired to write the script.

Paramount will not be releasing The Avengers [May 2012] or Iron Man 3 [May, 2013] as Disney, new owners of Marvel have stepped in and said "We want them now, but we'll still let you release Captain America and Thor". Disney/Marvel have also asked writers to pitch scripts for a potential War Machine movie!

The Dark Knight Rises

is the official title for Nolan's finale to his Batman trilogy and there are currently in excess of a dozen rumours about some 10 different actresses in line for Catwoman or another female villain. While we know there will be no 3D as Nolan hates it, Collider reported it will most likely be shot entirely in IMAX's epic 70mm format.

Roland Emmerich,

who usually tries to destroy the world with ID4, 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow wanted to step away from his over-use of CGI and multi-million dollar insanity to do a "found video" format movie, involving aliens all for about $5m. It's probably not going to happen as Apollo 18, from Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov will also be a "found video" format.

Conan Triumphant

Treacherous rat Jay Leno’s current The Tonight Show hasn't been getting Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show numbers in the 18-49 demographic much to the upset of NBC, and on Monday night Leno was further kicked in the ratings crotch by the premiere of Conan, O' Brien's new TBS show which garnered more than 300% of big-jaw's share of that important range as that's the one advertisers target.

Well done Coco!

Source AICN/ IGN

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen - The #1 Movie on the Planet!

As no one watching this movie should be jumping into it without seeing the original then there are only two camps – one that loved the original, as I did and the other side that thought it was trash. If you’re a member of the latter then you’ll find this equally shit and you should just wait until I review Public Enemies. If however you’re one of the former, then I think you’re in for a real treat. This is a fantastic voyage through the insane mind of a wholly unrestricted, unleashed Michael Bay and you’ll be swept into more exciting chases, battle scenes, robotic transformations, Megan Fox pouting and running in slow motion, military jargon and spectacular explosions. As God once said, [when creating Skywalker Sound] that "sound is 50% of the cinema experience" and this is really an aural assault like no other – even against Bay’s own Armageddon!

Now I won’t pretend the movie is without problems, the opening half hour is far too long and contained unnecessary sequences that had no business at all being there. For example: Sam’s mother accidentally eats a hash brownie resulting in ridiculous American Pie style “hilarity”. Bay is undoubtedly the greatest action movie genius director of the modern age, but he must forever stay away from the realm of teen-comedy. I also thought the Leo Spitz character was completely redundant and expanded an already bursting cast without reason. However, these issues and the multitude of obvious continuity errors are not significant enough to spoil the magic.

Despite being a ridiculously hokey plot it’s technically superior to the original in several ways, the character models themselves are more defined and more recognisable against the backgrounds of this movie. Transformations are upgraded for the better and the voice actors seem somewhat more believable than they originally did. And is it my imagination or is Megan Fox even hotter this time round?

Final Verdict: This is one movie that just doesn’t require a lenghty review. It’s not one of these movies that taxes your brain, or where the merits of it explosions can be debated for hours. It’s simply a joy to watch and meets all the criteria for a loud and action packed summer blockbuster.

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Official Site / IMDB / Wikipedia

2IGTV Episode 64 - Last In Series

The end has come. Since July 2005 we've brought you more than 57 hours of constant nonsense, hilarity, entertainment and delivered news from our varied and skewed perspective.

But everything must come to an end. We've gone on much longer than either of us had expected and we've both had a blast bringing world of entertainment and technology directly into your eardrums for the past 3 1/2 years.

Grieve not and remember us...

But enough of that crap! It's business as usual in the world of TV, Movies, Comic Books, Video Games and Technology for the 64th and final time!

Get it here.
Discuss or lament in our forums here.

Isaac Hayes & Bernie Mac: Double Obituary

The world lost two talented bruthas' this weekend in the form of hilarious comedian Bernie Mac and the soul legend Isaac Hayes.

Bernie Mac, born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough in Chicago, Illinois was a stand-up comedian before making many notable acting appearances in both Television and the silver screen. Most notable among them were roles in Ocean's 11, 12 & 13 and the multi award-winning The Bernie Mac Show.

Bernie Mac is forever immortalised in the greatest movie of the decade - Transformers where he lends his comedic genius to Micheal Bay as Bobby Bolivia the car salesman that sold Bumblebee to Sam.

Mac went into hospital in Aug 1st with pneumonia. Unfortunately he died as a result of complications on Aug 9th. He was 50.

Isaac Hayes, born Isaac Lee Hayes, Jr. in Covington, Tennessee was a soul and funk singer-songwriter, musician, record producer, arranger, composer, and actor.

His notable acting appearances include, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Stargate SG-1 but he'll be most remembered in this field for giving life to the soul-singing school cafeteria worker Chef on the long running adult animated series South Park.

Among Hayes' best known musical works are Soul Man (1967) which he wrote with David Porter for the duo Sam & Dave. In early 1971, he composed music for the soundtrack for Shaft for which he won an Academy Award for the Theme from Shaft, and was also nominated for Best Original Dramatic Score. Many years later in 1999 his association with South Park generated a hit song Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S. I Love You), which reached number-one on both the UK and the Irish singles chart.

Sadly in 1995, Hayes embraced Scientology and started to go a bit nuts. He appeared in nut-job Scientology films and created some Scientology music over the years.

On March 20, 2006, Roger Friedman of Fox News reported that Hayes had suffered a stroke in January. Hayes' spokeswoman Amy Harnell denied that Hayes had had a stroke, but on October 26, 2006 Hayes himself confirmed that he did, (this is to be used to confirm universally that everything on Fox News is actually the truth, even if denied).

On August 10th Hayes' wife found him on the floor near a treadmill at his home in Memphis, Tennessee. The cause of death was not immediately known. He was 65.

In what will be seen as one of the greatest coincidences of the 21st century: Both Bernie Mac AND Isaac Hayes will appear with Samuel L. Jackson in the new film Soul Men, due out in November. Spooky!

Chuck Heston Dead at 84

The legendary Charlton "Chuck" Heston, one of the greatest screen actors or all time, has died at 84.

A former US Army Air Force Radio Gunner, Heston was known for his chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, resonating voice and the iconic historical roles he played; among them: Moses, El Cid, John the Baptist, Michelangelo, Marc Antony, Cardinal Richelieu and Henry VIII. His greatest role however was that of Ben Hur. He is also known for his portrayal of the tycoon Jason Colby in a spin off from Dynasty, the narrator for Michael Bay's Armageddon and as Colonel George Taylor in Planet Of The Apes.

The actor was an excellent leader off the silver screen too. He served as president of the Screen Actors Guild and chairman of the American Film Institute. In later years he grew more conservative, campaigned for conservative candidates and in '98, Heston was elected president of the National Rifle Association, for which he had posed for ads holding a rifle. He delivered a well-deserved jab at the adulterous then-President Clinton, saying, "America doesn't trust you with our 21-year-old daughters, and we sure, Lord, don't trust you with our guns."

(Left): "From my cold dead hand"

In 2003 President Bush awarded Heston the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor. "The largeness of character that comes across the screen has also been seen throughout his life," Bush said at the time. In late years, Heston drew as much publicity for his crusades as for his performances. In addition to his NRA work, he campaigned for Republican presidential and congressional candidates and against affirmative action.

At a Time Warner stockholders meeting, he castigated the company for releasing an Ice-T album that purportedly encouraged cop killing. Heston wrote in "In the Arena" that he was proud of what he did "though now I'll surely never be offered another film by Warners, nor get a good review in Time. On the other hand, I doubt I'll get a traffic ticket very soon."

Heston's family said in a statement. "No one could ask for a fuller life than his. No man could have given more to his family, to his profession, and to his country."

Source: Mark

Michael Bay is Awesome!

ROTFL! I just had to post this. It's great that someone like Mike Bay can take the complete piss out of himself. He's, eh.. "awesome"!

Thanks to Bruce Russell, the world's first 2IGTV Ubergeek, for forwarding me this.

2IGTV Episode 54

In this, the first episode of 2008 we open with a high tech discussion about Apple, The Hi-Def format war and DRM.

We update you on the WGA strike, Wesley Snipes in court, South Korean pirates, Cruise and Scientology, the years upcoming movies and the US Presidential Election.

We also have exciting news on Star Trek and The A-Team and update you on some happenings in the 2IGTV forums.

All this and much more here.

2IGTV Episode 51

TONIGHT - ON 2IGTV:

Knight Rider, G-Force, Bionic Woman, Star Trek, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, Justice League, Escape From New York, EverQuest, Halo, Manhunt 2, Steven Spielberg and Donald Sutherland.

We also discuss the impending movie and TV industry strikes, Blu-Ray encryption and of course we have the results of our Episode 50 Competition.

Grab it here.

2IGTV Episode 50!!!

Prepare yourself for the 2IGTV 50th Episode Extravaganza!!! Well actually it's pretty much a normal episide, just with a milestone number, nothing to get more excited about than normal.

In addition to our mailbag, we talk about Heath Ledger, James Spader, Rose McGowan, Mike Bay and even Chris Crocker. On TV we mention Family Guy's tribute to Star Wars and some news for Battlestar Galactica fans. In Movies we have The Dark Knight, Thor, Iron Man, Magneto and Southland Tales.

To celebrate our 50th Episode and the release of John Woo's Stranglehold game - you have a chance of winning The Colonel's very own copy of Woo's magnum opus: "Hard Boiled" (Region Free in Chineese with English Subs).

What the fuck are you waiting for? Grab it now!

2IGTV Episode 48

A spanner has been thrown into the works of the HD format wars. Mark has the details. Learn about Windows 7, 64bit computing and Second Life. Yes I said Second Life.

In the world of movies we have word on The Day The Earth Stood Still, Dallas, Star Trek XI, Bubba Nosferatu and the JLA movie.

On the small screen we have some info on the Battlestar Galactica: Razor DVD release, 30Rock, South Park, The Prisoner, Painkiller Jane, 24, and a yet another new Bruckheimer show.

We also discuss poor Owen Wilson and we have some interesting news about the greatest British comic book character of all time DAN DARE.

Download it now.

2IGTV Episode 47

In this exciting 47th installment: We first deal with our colossal mailbag (which increases with each passing episode). We have movie news in the form of Avatar, World Of Warcraft, Wolverine, The Hobbit, Postal, Thor and Conan. Hot TV news comes in the form of Stargate Atlantis and Heroes.
Hear The Colonel's initial thoughts on pilots for The Sarah Connor Chronicles (right), Bionic Woman and Flash Gordon plus Mark reviews demos of Stranglehold and Heavenly Sword and he gives us word from the HD-DVD / Blu-Ray battlefront.

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2IGTV Episode 46

Comic-Con is the big event we cover tonight, with all it's exciting news on the Iron Man movie, Star Trek XI, Flash Gordon, DC Movies and more! Also, find out what we think of Transformers and The Simpsons Movie. We let you know who the new Punisher is and inform you about new movies Traitor and John Hancock. And yes, even though we obviously have much more than that lot, we do still have time to cover E3 and dip into our mail-bag!

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Transformers: The Greatest Movie of the Decade

I had no idea it was going to be this good. Seriously. I mean what did we have? Giant robots that looked vaguely like some plastic toys I had from about '84 to '88 that had a tie-in comic book and cartoon series? Alright- so there was some nostalgic value there much like the upcoming G.I.Joe, I bit. Then Mike Bay comes along, fair enough he's already cemented himself as one of the greatest motion picture directors of of the past 20 years, if not all time. But even I was sceptical, even of the wondrous talent of Bay that he could pull this off. The Island did not achieve the status of The Rock, Armageddon or Con Air and Bad Boys 2 was pale in comparison to it's predecessor so I'll admit that I was beginning to think that Mr. Bay may have started to loose it.

Never in my entire life have I been so wrong.

I said it in the title: Transformers is the Greatest Movie of the Decade, I offer Spider-Man, Mission: Impossible 2, 300, Underworld, Gladiator and The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King as examples of previous movies which I would assume would be contenders for that title (there are others but not many) certainly there are not as many between 2000 and 2007 as there were between 1990 and 1997, but for now Transformers is king.

Michael Bay returns to Armageddon form (he even ingeniously includes a character line "This is better than Armageddon" as the Autobots land on earth). There is more military hardware on show here than Pearl Harbor, Bay runs the camera almost sexually over aircraft, artillery and modern weapons that gave me an instant hard-on. His obligatory silhouetted Black helicopters in slow-motion and his almost homo-erotic framing of a group of military-types walking towards the camera in slo-mo as well made their welcome return. I think there was more military tech-geek-talk in this movie than any of his previous projects a credit to the advisers I posted about earlier.

The Comic-Book had Buster, and the TV show had Spike so when Shia LeBeouf was cast I wasn't as concerned as others as it was plainly obvious that the producers were following the adventure of young Sam Witwiky which was more in keeping with the source material than just following the military response to the Transformers, not that we had a shortage of that however. LeBeouf had a good part in Constantine and after seeing how good he was in Transformers, I have no problem with his appearance in Indy 4.

Josh Duhamel (Danny in Las Vegas) who reminds me as a sort of cross between Johnny Knoxville and Timothy Olyphant is Captain Lennox, our human "Hero" character who is pivotal in the human's fight against that which they thought impossible. Other juicy parts are dished out to John Voight, Kevin Dunn, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson and even the excellent Glenn (Aaron Pierce in 24) Morshower gets to play a Marine Colonel :) However even though the movie has all these well known names/faces, I'm compelled by some strange force to post only this picture of the aptly named Megan Fox.

But enough about the "fleshlings", what about the giant, transformin' fuckin' robots???! Well if you remember that advertisement for... was it a Citroen?- who gives a shit? You know the one I'm on about with the transforming car. Well the transformations in this film are pretty much like that, but in a larger scale and much faster but with guns and weapons. They don't hold hand-weapons like they did in other incarnations, now the weapons are built in and like pop out of their arms or their arms transform into weapons which makes a lot of sense. Voice acting was top notch with the much hyped appearence of both Peter Cullen - the original voice for Optimus Prime and Hugo Weaving himself as the evil Megatron. Explaining anything else would lessen the impact of what you will see on screen but safe to say that these guys ain't those toys you had as kids. In many ways they're better.

The script was a gem, the perfect pace, balance of humour, action and drama, a credit to writers Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, their faithfulness to the "essence" of Transformers while updating it for the 21st century has filled me with hope for their next effort - Star Trek. Steve The Island Jablonsky, through his magnificent music makes no secret that he's one of Hans Zimmer's trained composers and it's as if he channelled the Prince of Film Music himself to create a rich, multi-textured musical adventure of his own behind the action, yet accompanying it perfectly. The pyrotechnics on show here are pretty much what you'd expect from the director of The Rock, Armageddon, The Island, Bad Boys, Pearl Harbor etc. and it surprises most folk that Bay's budget was only $147m compared with $210m for the woeful X-Men: The Last Stand or even an insane $258m for the piece of shit Spider-Man 3, considering the flawless quality of and the sheer amount of CGI!! It just goes to show what you can do without an A-list actor inflating the budget beyond insanity.

The only possible problem I've scraped from the bottom of the barrel from this movie is that Voight as SECDEF Keller tries to use a mobile in the National Military Command Center. I can guarantee that mobiles are prohibited (even to the likes of me and even the SECDEF) inside such a facility. That aside, the analyst smuggling a memory card out of the NMCC was a bit far-fetched but I'll forgive it as a) it advanced the plot and b) The theft was discovered and an appropriate response was issued.

Finally, if you see only one movie this decade - I order you to go now and witness a true masterwork of motion picture presentation, and join Michael Bay on a virtual roller coaster ride the like of which you have never experienced.

Colonel Creedon Rating: STARS ARE MEANINGLESS IF A MOVIE REACHES THIS LEVEL!

Special Note: Star Wars Revenge of the Sith is deliberatly omitted from the lists that appear here as it's not a film, it's a religion.

Military was heavilly involved in Transformers

Naturally I'm excited about the Transformers movie which opens here on Friday 27th. After seeing what I've posted below on Military.com recently, my mind was at rest that the military aspects at least were being overseen by the military liaison office. You see, Hollywood’s depiction of the U.S. military is often laughably inaccurate to those who wear the uniform, including myself who gets quite irate when I see a military-mistake on screen. This however is not for lack of effort on the part of the military services and the Defense Department. Bay has gathered a lot of respect from people in the military since his geek-like attention to historical detail in Pearl Harbor and it seems like the liaison offices will bend over backwards for him now and not just because he's one of the greatest motion-picture directors ever, but because Bay's movies generate a shitload of dough for military coffers to fund the necessary campaign against terror around the world. Read on:

To achieve maximum accuracy in movies and on television, the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard and DoD have liaison offices to help guide filmmakers through the process. The services operate independently of each other in this endeavor but share office space on the same floor of a Los Angeles building. The Defense Department’s entertainment media division is run from the Pentagon.

“If we decide to cooperate on a project, we stay with them throughout all the scenes that have military or DoD depictions,” said Army Lt. Col Paul Sinor, a public affairs officer with that service’s Office of the Chief of Public Affairs. This task covers a broad spectrum, from making sure uniforms and equipment are correct to coordinating filming on military bases, said Air Force Capt. Christian Hodge, a project officer with the Air Force Entertainment Liaison Office. Both Sinor and Hodge worked on Transformers, directed by Michael Bay.

Military involvement with a film project normally begins with script review. All projects must ultimately get DoD approval to move forward. “The first thing we look at in the screenplay is the portrayal of the military to make sure it’s realistic, obviously within the parameters of the script,” Sinor said. “Transformers is obviously science fiction. The Army has never fought giant robots, but if we did, this is probably how we’d do it.”

After reviewing the script, military liaison officers meet with producers or writers to make suggestions about how to ensure the military portrayal is as accurate as possible. “Sometimes the writer or producer really want those suggestions, other times there are creative differences and they want to keep it the way it was originally written,” Hodge said.

Sometimes filmmakers will get permission to film military ships and aircraft as they perform their regular missions. “But more often, the director wants specific shots, so then we go through the process of billing the production company,” he said. For example, aircraft are billed at an hourly rate, and each comes with a different price tag. “We’ve got F-22s that run about $25,000 an hour to T-38s that are about $3,500,” Hodge said. "We make lots of money, but we spend lots of money too.”

Sinor stressed that no expense is ever incurred by the government or taxpayers. Servicemembers who serve as extras are on leave and are paid by the production company, as are crews who fly the aircraft. He also said military participation in films takes a back seat to mission responsibilities. A National Guard unit that was supposed to participate in the filming of Transformers pulled out at the last minute because of a mission requirement, he said.

Another aspect of Sinor’s job is ensuring that actors look and act like the real deal. He took a group of actors from Transformers to Fort Irwin, in the California desert, to get up to speed on how to properly handle a weapon, move across open areas, and clear buildings. “The kinds of things the script called for,” he said. Actor Josh Duhamel, said this was a valuable part of the preparation process. “We wanted to look as realistic as possible and do the military proud. That was our main focus,” he said. “I have a lot of respect for the people in the military.”

Ian Bryce, one of the producers of Transformers, said DoD and the services have been good at providing what the filmmakers need to make the movie work.

“Without the superb military support we’ve gotten on this film, it would be an entirely different-looking film,” Bryce said. “Once you get Pentagon approval, you’ve created a win-win situation. We want to cooperate with the Pentagon to show them off in the most positive light, and the Pentagon likewise wants to give us the resources to be able to do that.”

Hodge agreed and said it’s been great working with both director Bay and producer Bryce. “They’ve been very receptive to a lot of our suggestions,” he said. “They took into consideration several of our suggestions and added some lines to the script to make it more accurate. That’s pretty cool.”

Source: Military.com