Prince of Film music scores The Simpsons!

When I saw that they were doing a Simpsons movie a while back the last thought I gave was to the composer of it's score. It's normally something which I would take great interest in depending on the type of movie. An animated comedy farce wouldn't be high on my list of musical expectations like say: Steve Jablonsky's Transformers or John Debney's Iron Man next year, but when I saw who was composing the music for The Simpsons this year, I did take notice.

Academy Award winning composer Hans Zimmer has crafted the music for the first full-length feature based on Matt Groening's successful television series. A soundtrack album to be released on July 24th will feature Zimmer's take on the music from the series. "It's such an iconic part of today's culture," says Zimmer. "And I had to try and express the style of The Simpsons without wearing the audience out with too much attitude!"

On July 31st a special Limited Edition will be made available in a bright pink donut case, complete with multicolored sprinkles, which is supplied in a classic bakery take-out box. The special Limited Edition was created because, according to Zimmer "We wanted to have some fun and really try to do something that would appeal to the fans and be hard to miss in the record store."

Zimmer is no stranger to animated comedy with the scores to Madagascar and Shark Tale under his belt but The Simpsons is an icon of western culture and viewed worldwide so it'll be intresting to see how he improves upon Danny Elfman's opening theme as he did for Lalo Schifrin's Mission: Impossible theme and Barry Gray's Thunderbirds when they went to the big screen.

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

The unrated full version of Quentin Tarantino's violent masterstroke Kill Bill has been screened only a handful of times to incredible reception and is presented uncut and in full color throughout. The two chapters were edited together to make the 3+ hour saga more of a singular experience. Due to certain "problems" with Miramax's parent company, this complete cut of the Kill Bill story was shelved for years and the planned theatrical run was killed.

Amazon.com recently added a listing for the long-awaited, re-edited, single-film version. The site lists the DVD release date for Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair as November 6, 2007, leading me to wonder if The Bride might not be back to her bloody ways by Christmas.

Little is known about the exact details of the Whole Bloody Affair, but apparently it's going to include some interesting new reworkings that Tarantino wasn't permitted to do before. The set specifies 4 discs so I'd assume two bonus discs with loads of extras, and some additional and/or alternate material.

Note that this refers to a Region 1 [US] release.

Source: Amazon.com

Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Lets face it, most people are sick to death of "even more than ultra-ultra-realistic" World War II scenarios in computer games. I know I am. Don't get me wrong, everyone should play them to experience what life was like on the Battlefields of WWII and appreciate the daring and heroism of those who preserved the world from evil between '39 and '45, but after several incarnations of Medal Of Honor, Call of Duty and Wolfenstein- I've killed more Nazis then were killed in the actual war - enough already.

Infinity Ward had two hit "games of the year" with the fantastic Call Of Duty that stole the WWII FPS crown from Medal Of Honor and succeeded in crafting a superior sequel in Call of Duty 2. For some reason which seemed inexplicable at the time - they outsourced Call Of Duty 3 which was a console only game and it failed to impact at all on a tired market. It only became known recently why Infinity Ward had outsourced COD3 - They were busy working on

Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Infinity Ward, has returned to the fourth iteration in the series. Gone, thankfully, is the familiar setting of World War II, replaced with a fictional modern war. That means all of the insane attention to detail paid towards accurately representing WWII weapons and vehicles is now being brought to the high-tech age of the new millennium.

With this announcement, many thought COD4 was going to become tactical, but no. It plays much like previous Call of Duty titles but could possibly yet compete against Ubisoft's Tom Clancy dynasty. Infinity Ward has spent the past two years improving its technology to create a far prettier game and they have created an all-new graphics engine that's impressive in motion. Dynamic lighting effects combined with wind and rain effects create a dramatic look, a physics system allows you to do things like shoot tires off a car or blow it up with a few well-placed shots in the right spot. There's an astounding level of detail in both the environments and the characters. You'll see beams of sunlight breaking in through the cracks, you'll see dust particles in the air and a smoke trail from a rocket launcher. The sun will rise or set during a level with realistic lighting effects so that the transition from dusk to dawn appears natural. There's impressive damage modeling on derelict cars and you can toss a grenade in and blow the doors off. While it may not be quite as jaw-dropping as Crysis, the game looks extremely impressive running on the PC.

As for the characters, each has full self-shadowing and a level of detail never-before-seen in Call of Duty. Get close to a soldier and you can actually read the time on his watch, breathe down his neck and you will see realistic-looking flesh, you might even see them sweat.

What's truly impressive is that all of this works in a frantic environment. The chaos of modern warfare has U.S. Marines (now see why I'm excited) screaming ooh-rah as gunfire echoes through the ruins of a Middle Eastern city. There are explosions left and right, enemies around every corner, helicopters spinning out of control and crashing in a fiery wreck. And all of it happens at 60 frames per second. The screenshots here are exactly what the game looks like.

COD4: Modern Warfare is set in a world where a quartet of evil men threatens global peace. The Four Horsemen, as they are called, must be stopped. To do so, you'll do some globe trotting through Russia and the Eastern Block and also through the Middle East. As is standard in the Call of Duty series, you'll see the war through the eyes of several different soldiers. However, instead of working from one national campaign to the next, the viewpoints will switch around more frequently and be strongly tied to the narrative. COD4 plays out like a TV miniseries with one cohesive story tying the various viewpoints together.

The bulk of your missions will be either as a mustachioed member of the British SAS or as a U.S. Marine. You'll notice a difference between the two well beyond a change in uniform and standard weaponry. The Marines are loud, with AI partners shouting a lot, cursing excessively, and being a bit looser even in the heat of combat (which isn't too realistic considering they're supposed to be Force Recon - but we'll let that slide for now). The SAS tend to be a lot quieter and calmer on missions and, at least outwardly, appear more professional.

The thing that really changes up COD4 is the weaponry and equipment. While World War II may have been the stomping ground of "The Greatest Generation", modern warfare has all the cool gadgets. One such weapon is the Javelin - aim it at a tank and wait for it to lock on. Launch and a rocket fires at a higher arc and comes straight down onto the top of the tank. We will finally have superior Night Vision functionality. In COD4 NV does a bit more as with it on, you can see the UV laser light from your gun -- and anyone else's. You can also see the glint tape on friendly soldiers.

There are a number of huge trends in modern videogames, and two of the biggest are undoubtedly sandbox gameplay and the move towards fully destructible environments. However, Grant Collier, the Studio Head of Infinity Ward says that they're not sold on either trend "everyone right now is demanding sandbox gameplay and total destructibility. We personally don't think that it's that fun, I mean, 'go anywhere! Do anything!' That's just - I think it's a buzzword. Total destructibility can really ruin the gameplay. There's so many spectacular moments that you have when you funnel the action into certain corridors, so I think right now it's a fad, and the fad will pass, we're not going to be bite on in it - we want the game to be fun first, and destructibility comes second." While this seems at odds with any number of next-gen games in development it's refreshing to see Infinity Ward staying focused on what it does best - tight, fast-paced cinematic action.

No one was quite sure what to expect from Call of Duty's move to modern warfare. No one should be worried that Infinity Ward has lost its magic. While the switch to a modern setting changes some aspects of the series, those changes will most certainly be for the better. Modern Warfare lets you feel the rattle of a machinegun in your hands and hear the frenzy of war at a higher fidelity than previous CODs. Over the past few years, Infinity Ward has made a habit of not unveiling its games too far in advance so we won't have too long to wait for Call of Duty 4. The game is due for release in late 2007, and if it's anything like the company's last few games, it should shape up as one of the year's best titles.

Source: IGN, GameSpy

New Transformers UK Comic

Now this is surprising. The original Transformers UK couldn't afford the artists and writers to produce new material each week a couple of years before the Marvel title finished and now Titan is bringing out a new book with the former creative team?

On the 18th of January 1992 the final issue (#332) of Marvel UK's greatest comic-book success The Transformers was published. I had collected each issue from #77 (September '86) onwards and was thrilled by the adventures of the "Robots in Disguise" as I played out the comic book adventures with my own Transformers in plastic form each week. What is facinating about the weekly UK version of the Transformers comic book is that it featured reprints of the monthly US book with work from the best of British comic book talent at the time in the form of artists Ron Smith, Staz, Andy Wildman and the greatest of them all Geoff Senior as well as writer extraordinaire Simon Furman. To this day American comic-book collectors pay enormous sums of money for Transformers UK books citing their superiority over their own books - I sold my own collection on lots to them a few years ago for almost a grand. In the Transformers hayday the comic book was the best on the market. However as with all things, times change and the market changed with it. Furman and the artists began to create their work for the US book in the late 80's and the UK book began reprinting the US book which was now being created by the UK team so when the US book ceased publication in '91 it was not long before the material for the US book dried up too.

With the resurgence of popular culture in opening years of the new millennium, both deceased Marvel titles Transformers and G.I.Joe were purchased by independent US publishers Dreamweave and Devil's Due respectively. I allowed both of them to gain their market footing before I "investigated" and I discovered that while G.I.Joe had taken a more adult turn in it's direction and respected (and continued) the rich 20-year continuity created by Larry Hama - the Transformers on the other hand, had "rebooted" and was telling a different version of the events of the G1 Transformers without the same respect for previous work. It was at this point while I was happy to rekindle my association with the Joes, I also vowed to sever all ties with Transformers.

I was perplexed as well as astounded that a new Transformers UK book was being published by Titan and I was delighted to see that one of my favourite artists of all: Geoff Senior (some new work pictured right) would return to do what he did best. Then I remembered my vow and wept, for there are some things that are now, much, much too late for....

Sources: AICN, Siebertron.com

Die Hard 4.0, no patch required

I'll admit I was a little apprehensive about seeing this "diluted" Die Hard sequel. There had been many reports in the web that Fox had insisted that Live Free Or Die Hard (or Die Hard 4.0 in the real-world) to make it more audience friendly and that that audience should include thise who were not yet of age to appreciate the artistic beauty of the original antics of John McClane. In other words this sequel would would be geared for a 12PG rating and so could not have the amount of blood or even McClane's catchphrase: "Yippie-Ki-Yay-Mother-Fucker". I was devestated and even threatened not to attend it in the cinema. However once it was released and people started raving about it I said "What the hell" and went anyway.

Boy was I glad I did. It was awesome. Far better than I could have ever predicted and easily one of the best movies of the year. I asked myself how I could have been thinking about not seeing this in the cinema.

Now, the whole plot was ridiculous but that's more than acceptable for an action-movie especially a Die Hard but no one can deny that director Len Wiseman led Bruce and ourselves on a roller coaster ride that not for one second did the action and suspense let up. While Bruce is 52 and counting now he was still able to "do the shit" as well as stars several years younger and I daresay if they don't let the franchise wallow like they did after Die Hard With A Vengeance then he probably has enough for another one.

It wasn't too long ago that I saw an "older" Bruce Willis escort the comedy relief 16 Blocks for the duration of that movie but it was a thriller and a damn good one but this is an action movie. So while the same concept is used it must be executed completely differently. Justin Mac-Guy Long is the escorted here and plays the part of nerdy cybergeek very well. Is a bit more than the normal "Tough-Guy and Brain-Box" formula and adds to the enjoyment of the movie.

Timothy Deadwood Olyphant, while not as colourful as previous Die Hard villains, plays his part adequately as the mastermind behind the cyber-terrorism and I look forward to seeing him as 47 in the Hitman movie later. Maggie Q and even Kevin Smith have memorable supporting roles as well. One notable henchman is District B-13's Cyril Raffaelli who dazzles us with more Parkour- one of the very few useful things to come out of France.

Len Wiseman has returned this movie to the roots of action movie making and opted for a very low use of CGI in favour of traditional shots involving real vehicles, stunts and situations. He has improved on his success with the Underworld movies and I look forward to his next presentation.

Marco Beltrami did a superb job of taking the reigns of the musical score from the late Michael Kamen who scored the previous 3 Die Hards. He adopted some of Kamen's style motifs as he was obviously inspired by them but it's most certainly a Beltrami score and enhances the movie's pace and enjoyment exponentially.

A few imperfections have prevented this from getting my coveted 5-Star+ rating. Obviously the lack of blood and profanity but there were a few nitpicks that I wasn't pleased with, first and foremost there was the depiction of the U.S. Marine F-35b Lightening II aircraft (which is real but won't be in the field until 2012) and it's pilot who was depicted as a bit of a moron- but I'll let you judge for yourself.
Also, for some reason McClane is constantly being referred to as "Detective" when he's in fact a "Lieutenant". If he had been busted down below Sergeant why whould he have "Lieutenant" clearly visable in his ID. Nevertheless after this movie he'd better be called Captain in Die Hard 5.
While the technology in the movie wasn't as nonsensical as other Hollywood technology in other movies I could mention, I still didn't like the way Justin Long (good guy) was using a Mac (I didn't see a Mac but he had an Apple Cinema display running Linux) and the bad-guy hacker-henchman was on a PC (Saucer Silver Alienware laptop). Did anyone else think the Palm Pilots were a bit old for this high-tech movie?

Final verdict: Fantastic action, liberal use of automacic weaponary, cool stunts, fantastic explosions and Brue Willis' banter. Just want I wanted.

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Gore should get death penalty

No not the bleeding-heart liberal ex-VP muppet who makes "documentaries" about wild insane theories and frightens the planet into thinking "global warming" is real (although the world would be better off without crackpots like him), no I'm talking about Al Gore III, his son who was arrested in California early Wednesday morning for suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs.

Gore III was allegedly driving a blue faggoty Toyota Prius at speeds over 100 mph when he was pulled over around 02:15 on the San Diego freeway. Smelling marijuana, police searched the car and found almost an ounce of marijuana and prescription drugs Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, none of which he has a prescription for.

Gore, 24, was released from a men's jail in Santa Ana after posting $20,000 bail. This is the second time he was arrested on a marijuana possession charge. Police in Montgomery County, Md., pulled over Gore in December 2003 and noticed the smell of pot. Police were also tipped off by the open windows and sunroof despite the freezing temperature.

Gore, who at the time was a Harvard university student, and his two male passengers were charged with a misdemeanor count of possession of marijuana and released. The youngest of Al and Tipper Gore's four children then completed substance abuses classes as a pretrial diversion program, before settling the charges.

Gore was also ticketed for reckless driving by North Carolina police in August 2000, and military police arrested him for drunk driving near a military base in Virginia in September 2002. Gore III now lives in Los Angeles and is an associate publisher of GOOD, a magazine about philanthropy aimed at young people.

I think this shows us what damn liberals think of the law. If more were put to death like this repeat-offender then the world would be a petter place.

Source: Fox News

The Colonel lays Captain America to rest

I stood in the drizzling rain at Arlington National Cemetery yesterday commanding the U.S. Marine Honour Guard, where thousands of grieving patriots solemnly watched as Tony "Iron Man" Stark, Ben "The Thing" Grimm and the other pall bearers carried the casket of Captain America draped with an American flag to his final resting place.

After more than six decades of conflict with evil in the form of Adolf Hitler to the Red Skull, the Avengers leader was assassinated on the steps of a New York federal courthouse. He was there following his refusal to take part in the government's Superhero Registration Act, which would reveal the true identity of all Superheroes.

The Falcon, long time friend of the Captain delivered a eulogy asking superheros old and young to stand up and honor Captain America. I will say now that although he turned traitor to the government of the United States, I must still respect a man who would only take chain mail and a shield into combat instead of an assault rifle and frag grenades.

G.I.Joe Moving Forward

Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura (right) has long eyed turning the toy and comic book franchise G.I. Joe into a feature film for Paramount Pictures. He's even talked about casting his Shooter star Mark Wahlberg as Joe team leader Duke. Paramount's pact with Joe toy maker Hasbro recently expired, however Hasbro's reps at the William Morris Agency renewed a deal between the toy manufacturer and Paramount to bring G.I. Joe to the silver screen.

Di Bonaventura will still produce the movie and won't be the first '80s toy line/cartoon that he has adapted to the big screen as his live-action Transformers movie hits theaters next month, of course. But G.I. Joe, which like Transformers originated in plasticine form, has actually been on di Bonaventura's plate even longer than those robots in disguise have been. So why the long wait in seeing a finished G.I. Joe movie?

"Actually, there were two incarnations of [the G.I. Joe script] and we're proceeding down both roads," di Bonaventura recently explained. "You know, there's a lot of misinformation about this. We had pursued originally a take on the project written by David Elliot and Paul Lovett, which was put aside for a period of time. And then a second avenue was taken that included Action Man, and that was being written by Skip Woods."

For those of you who don't know Action Man is a British toy based on the original 12-inch 1960's version of G.I. Joe. The Woods script reportedly combined Action Man and G.I. Joe into a single adventure. Naturally this insane fucked up idea has received a more-than-negative response from fans (me included) and some death threats to Woods.

"Skip Woods' draft came and somehow leaked, which is always unfortunate," says di Bonaventura. "I find it really unfortunate on the part of the writer, the artist, because Skip had literally, from the day he finished his contract to the day that draft came in, seven weeks [to complete it] because of the timeline that was being required by the overall deal. So, it has been judged in some circles, I think, harshly, and I think unfortunately like all creative processes it was just the very beginning of it. And I know that Skip is working hard on his next draft and is going to nail it."

Di Bonaventura compares the criticism of the leaked script to the nitpicking that some of the early Transformers designs were victim to when they first hit the Internet during that film's preproduction stage. "I have a very clear vision on G.I. Joe which is the same that I have on every property that I do that people care about," he says. "You must find a way to be true to it, and you must find a way to evolve it forward. And I think one of the hardest things as a filmmaker… if you go back to Transformers [for example], the designs of Optimus and everything were being very harshly criticized early on. And what you want to have as a creative process is you want a sense of germination, then a sense of evolution, and then a sense of conclusion. It was being judged in the germination stage. It's such a rudimentary place where it was being judged, and we kept saying, 'You know what, guys? No one has seen it. We haven't even seen it. Until ILM gets involved, we won't even know.' And what is rewarding in that case is that by and large people are really loving what was done to the actual physicality of Transformers. And that's what we have to do with G.I. Joe."

Brian Goldner of Hasbro who is an Executive Producer of Transformers (and will be one on G.I. Joe too) gave an interview available here at the premiere of Transformers. In it he promises that there will be an origin story for G.I. Joe and many of the main characters will appear. He says that there are a few issues of the Marvel comic book that people should pay close attention to.

Sources: IGN, ISEB

4th of July

In his annual 4th of July speech President Bush defended the U.S. military build up in Iraq in a patriotic speech, saying victory will require "more patience, more courage and more sacrifice. However difficult the fight is in Iraq, we must win it."

"It's a tough fight, but I wouldn't have asked those troops to go into harm's way if the fight was not essential to the security of the United States of America," Bush said of the more than 4-year-old war.

Bush thanked the servicemen and women serving abroad and their families, including children at the event who recited the Pledge of Allegiance with him. He read from a 1777 newspaper article about an Independence Day celebration in Philadelphia where people fired artillery, toasted democracy and watched fireworks that illuminated the sky.

"We're still celebrating, and rightly so," Bush said.

Thankfully this July 4th did not have the same "action" of last year when North Korea test-fired a series of missiles. Instead they're yielding to the might of the U.S. and talking disarmament.

Source: Fox News

Stranglehold Update

Midway are often asked "So why make a game with John Woo anyhow?" The answer is obvious they say, "because Woo’s the best action filmmaker ever!" And there’s something about his films, especially Hard-Boiled, that make them ideal for receiving the video game treatment. It’s something else entirely to mix a close-up of a frightened goon, a shot of hundred dollar bills exploding in the air, doves fluttering away, and of course Chow Yun Fat leaping through the air, all in slow motion. It’s the little touches of humanity, humor, and completely over-the-top “oh shit” moments that say “hey, this is a John Woo film!”

Woo is best known known for his stylized films that turn gunplay into a ballet of bullets. It's no secret that Stranglehold has been a crown jewel in Midway's plans for next-gen since its first E3 trailer two years ago. Four years after Max Payne 2 soaked up so much of the influence of John Woo's heroic bloodshed masterpieces, the famed film director has attached his name to the interactive sequel to his 1992 classic Hard Boiled and it's almost finished.

As Inspector "Tequila" Yuen (played by Chow Yun-Fat), you are on your own against the gangs of Hong Kong & Chicago. In Hong Kong, his partner on the force is murdered, and in Chicago, two young ladies are abducted; there's a connection there, but it's unclear in the beginning. Tequila must break out every weapon necessary and take out Triad hitmen and tough Chicago mobsters to get to the bottom of it all. Tequila works best alone (with an assault rifle). The story plays out as if it were from a John Woo movie and the action looks like Woo played too much Max Payne. The violence is non-stop, you will blaze a path of violence through hundreds of enemies, while laying waste to just about every object in the environment.

Stranglehold appears to have an exceedingly simple control scheme. All one will need to worry about is shooting and using the action button- this is what you'll use to interact with the environment. If you're near a a rail, a dessert tray, or chandelier, hitting the button lets you use climb aboard for added style points. You'll slide down rails or hop belly first on a dessert tray to deal death to your enemies. If there's no object around, Tequila will leap in whichever direction you press and instantly go into bullet time.

Through the course of his death dealing, Tequila will gain access to four special abilities to complement his arsenal. Health which you will need quite often. Trueshot that gives you a few seconds to aim your gun for a long-distance killshot (including a gurgle-inducing throat shot). The Barrage skill, to go super-apeshit with whatever gun you're wielding in a true show of power. And a Woo staple move where Tequila whips out his pistols and pirouettes with guns blazing- Doves fly from nowhere as everyone dies.

It's impressive to watch the multitude of gameplay videos online and see the level of chaos erupting in every scene. You'll see as many wood splinters as you will bullets whizzing past your head as Inspector Tequila dives over tables and swings from chandeliers. Cover won't last long, as every safe haven quickly degrades under a barrage of enemy bullets. Your best bet to survive these intense moments is to stay on the move.

There are a few select moments where you can't run or cause much destruction at all. These are Standoffs. When these occur, Tequila finds himself surrounded by enemies. The mechanics change and one by one in slow-mo you must target and shoot the enemies around you, dodging their bullets. They're cool little moments that are just as intense as the other frantic scenes of gunplay.

One thing that you'll notice watching the footage is that the environments crumble and collapse after taking too much gunfire. It's part of Midway's tweaks to its altered Unreal 3/Havoc engine hybrid, known as Massive D. But according to those that have sampled the game, Massive D, is a massive hit to the framerate. This is something I'll need to upgrade for.

One thing that Woo is adamant about and mentions in all his interviews, is that Stranglehold be more than a John Woo film that happens to be on the PS3, 360, & PC. Woo is the director of his films, but for Stranglehold they want to put you in the director’s chair. So when you play you get to be John Woo, directing and choreographing the action in the way you want, but of course using his style, and lots of doves.

Stranglehold- Latest Release Date: August 6, 2007

Source: GameSpy, IGN

Bruce Campbell in Burn Notice

The legendary Bruce Campbell stars in USA's new show Burn Notice, a spy-themed series which stars Jeffrey Donovan as a former spy, and Campbell as his colleague Sam.

With Painkiller Jane the only regular show running at the moment I was in danger of not watching enough new television, but along comes Burn Notice!

A Burn Notice is an official statement by one intelligence agency to other agencies, domestic or foreign, that an individual or group is unreliable for any of a variety of reasons. I've issued about a dozen in my career but I digress...

I had just finished watching the box-set of Briscoe County Jr., a television series way ahead of it's time, starring Campbell in the title role. I said to myself that it was a shame that he wasn't on television now, I think he's someone we need on television. Thankfully I didn't have long to wait. Burn Notice premiered to favourable reviews on Thursday night on USA.

The new series is about a discredited and dumped CIA agent Michael Westen, whose life comes crashing down he finds himself down-and-out in Miami. Campbell plays Sam Axe (left), an ex-spy already washed out. In a recent interview Campbell says "He doesn't give a shit. So I'm unshaven and I drink all the time. I'm a smartass. I shack up with rich Miami women because that's how I make money. But I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. So I'm usually in that role; I can help him that way."

Other stars include Gabrielle Scent of a Woman Anwar who plays Fiona, a former IRA operative with whom Michael has a past, and Michael's crazy hypocondriac nagging mother played by Sharon (Cagney from Cagney & Lacey) Gless. "It's a bizarre set up for a show" adds Campbell "And it's not a doctor show. It's not a cop show or a lawyer show. And to me, that's very appealing."

Campbell describes the show as played pretty straight but with a lot of gallows humor. "I think that there's a lot there for whoever is looking for an interesting new show. I think this is the one."

After digesting the pilot episode, I will say that I intend to continue to watch Burn Notice, even if it didn't have Campbell. Most are comparing it to The Equalizer but I don't think it's as dark as that, it's more like a cross between MacGyver and The Rockford Files with just a small hint of Alias thrown in. Jeff Donovan (right) is a bit-part vetran of Television since the mid-90's and got his break with the substandard US version of the popular UK crime-drama "Touching Evil", but this will be his first as lead and he pulls off the hard-ass spy-shit very well. Gabrielle Anwar suffering from a not too perfect collagen job (but hey, I'd still do her) has to put on a terrible N.I. accent to play her part which is distracting when you're from this part of the world, but thankfully she'll get rid of it in subsequent episodes in order to blend into Miami. As for Bruce Campbell, well... as I said, "he's someone we need on television" and hopefully he'll be able to stick around the show and handle his directorial responsibilities and Bubba Nosferatu as well.

Find out more on USA's Burn Notice Website.

Source: IGN, Burn Notice Pilot

2IGTV Episode 44

If you're a fan of Comic-Book movies then you've come to the right place as Mark and I talk about your favourite comic heroes heading for the silver screen from both DC and Marvel comics. In the world of Battlestar Galactica we wonder if there can be a motion picture for the new Galactica? Only with the blessing of Glen A. Larson. We talk Battlestar Galactica: Razor and Galactica reboot creator Ron Moore reveals what he thinks of the idea of a Star Trek reboot.
Lots more TV news this episode for Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Boston Legal and something called Ice Planet. We also detail a few movies you WILL want to miss in the future.

Get it here.

The Colonel bids farewell to Blair - Doom in Great Britain!

Things are not going well in the United Kingdom at the moment are they?

* South Yorkshire and other areas have been devastated by flooding and there's more to come according to the met-office.

* 3 failed terrorist attacks in the past few days have made the government raise the terror alert to "critical", which means they're expecting more attacks "imminently."

* I will now no longer be able to enjoy a cigar in the ol' British pub when I visit as the Smoking Ban comes into effect for all enclosed public places as of today.

* And the much beloved Prime Minister Tony Blair has been replaced with a mercenary dictator Gordon Brown.

I met with Mr. Blair last week to ask permission for UNETIDA to house a Tesla Cannon inside Big Ben to combat extra-terrestrial threats. Even though he declined, I thanked him his support in the Global War on Terror and for basically being a "yes-man" for the Commander in Chief. If only other world leaders would be so forward-thinking and follow the United States into glory.

Iran in Chaos

It's always heart-warming to see chaos in a "belligerent Wog-country" like Iran where the government has introduced fuel restrictions. Since the rationing came into force on Tuesday night, twelve petrol stations have been torched in Tehran and there are unconfirmed reports that supermarkets and banks have also come under attack.

Mile-long queues, patrolled by police, now snake round central Tehran as drivers wait patiently for their allowance. The restrictions limit the private motorist to 100 litres per month, official taxi drivers to 800 litres. It's the first time in living memory that Iranians have had to face such restrictions and it's prompted a furious reaction. Partly because the rationing was brought in late at night with just three hours notice and partly because Iranians have grown up with idea that cheap petrol is their birthright. With the average price per litre just 8 pence (cheaper than water there), this is probably the cheapest country in the world to be a motorist.

The paradox is that Iran is the second largest oil producer in OPEC, but it lacks refineries and imports as much as 40 per cent of its petrol - to the tune of £2.5bn a year. With inflation now running at 20-30 per cent, the government is taking a stand. The rationing is predicted to last four months, maybe as long as six. And the knock-on effects could be profound. In Tehran alone, as many as 100,000 people supplement their income as unlicensed taxi drivers. In a city with limited public transport, they do a brisk trade.

Sounds to me like the US should go and liberate these poor unfortunate people once and for all.

Source: Sky News

Set Tasers on Stun

I see that in the United Kingdom, more police officers are to be armed with Taser stun guns.

Interestingly, use of the controversial weapons will no longer be limited to trained firearms officers, if independent medical advice backs the proposal. Crucially, the circumstances in which suspects can be stunned will also be widened.

A 12-month trial will extend use of Taser to specially-trained units who are not authorised firearms officers. They would also extend the use of Taser by authorised firearms officers where the criteria to use firearms does not apply.

Recently one of Britain's top policemen, Greater Manchester Police's Chief Constable Michael Todd volunteered to be shot with a 50,000 volt Taser stun gun in a bid to convince the public they are safe to use. He convulsed in agony as two wire barbs hit him in the back. "It hurt like hell!" he said.

Tasers work by firing metal barbs into the skin which then discharge a 50,000 volt electrical charge which is designed to temporarily disable someone long enough to allow police to detain them safely.

Although I'm a more "high velocity explosive projectile" kinda guy, there is something inherently melodic about the shrieks of someone being tazered as I showed here before. I hope they catch on, (and don't leg go) Muahahahahaha!

Sources: verious British Press, Sky News

Tom Goes Down

Tom Sizemore news will be very scarce for the next 16 months or so as that's the length of a sentence in the state pen that has just been imposed by a judge who ruled the alleged discovery of methamphetamine in the actor's car had violated his probation in a previous drug case.

Sizemore "has been in every program, and here he is again," Superior Court Judge Cynthia Rayvis said. He "abused the privilege of probation" and "needs to be in a lockdown setting." Rayvis recommended Sizemore be sent to the R.J. Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego County because of its noteworthy drug treatment program.

Sizemore's lawyer, Fay Arfa, argued that prison wouldn't help her client overcome his problem. She said Sizemore had "literally fallen from stardom, sitting in a jail cell by himself" and wants to recover. After the ruling, Arfa said Sizemore's legal team "will pursue our remedies on appeal."

Martin Sheen attended the hearing in support of Sizemore. "I don't think prison is appropriate for anyone who is in the grip of drug and alcohol abuse," he said outside court. Even so, Sheen said Sizemore could be successful in a prison drug rehab program.

In court papers, Deputy District Attorney Sean Carney alleged that Sizemore violated his probation by being under the influence of methamphetamine, opiates and marijuana, possessing methamphetamine and possessing drug paraphernalia. He faces up to six years in prison if convicted of all the charges.

Sizemore was convicted in 2003 of domestic violence involving his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. In October 2004, he pleaded guilty to possession of a controlled substance and was placed on probation. The probation was revoked in 2005 when he was caught using a prosthetic device during a drug test. His probation was later reinstated, but he tested positive for drug use last year and was given another three years' probation which he has now violated.

Yes I still want him to play me in Colonel Creedon: The Movie, but it'll take a while to get that project off the ground and he'll be out by then :)

Source: Yahoo

The Iron Cast

This is the hottest image on the 'Net right now, the full cast of Iron Man which shows (left to right) Terence Howard in U.S. Air Force uniform as Lt. Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes, a strawberry-haired Gweneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark and a bald Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane.

While the majority of filming on the Marvel-Paramount movie Iron Man has taken place in the Los Angeles area, the production is reportedly shifting to Las Vegas this week. Cameras began rolling today at Caesars Palace.

Details of the script are being kept under guard, and filming is expected to wrap by Wednesday night."

Sources: IGN, ComingSoon, RottonTomatoes

Snakes on a... ...Helicarrier?

Jon Favreau has pulled off the gutsiest move of any motion picture director of the 21st century. Today, Mr. Samuel L. Jackson began shooting his scenes for Iron Man, his character:

GENERAL NICHOLAS JOSEPH "NICK" FURY

The story was AICN's scoop (I'd say their first this year) and the source was trustworthy. It was so secret Fav himself didn't tell me.

I know many of you are saying "Isn't Nick Fury a Colonel? and isn't he caucasian?". Well yes (and no). While in the traditional Marvel Universe, Colonel Nick Fury is caucasian but in the Marvel Ultimates universe he's an Afro-American General and his likeness is actually based on Samuel L. Jackson (with his blessing) (left). It looks like that what I wrote about Fury over a year ago here is coming to pass. While we don't obviously have a Nick Fury or S.H.I.E.L.D. movie, this could be a stepping stone for one or an Avengers movie. Perhaps Fury could appear in the origin movies for the other individual Avengers too like Ant Man, Captain America and Thor.

I hope people understand that the Marvel universe as represented on screen is not the Marvel universe of the comic books or the Ultimates universe and they can accept cool interpretations and convergences of ideas like the casting of SAMUEL L. MUTHAFUCKIN' JACKSON as Fury.

Source: AICN

The Martian Experiment

A trip to Mars is not an early prospect. The United States has set plans to return to the Moon by 2018 and later head to Mars, but without setting a date. However The European Space Agency (ESA) yesterday called for applications for one of the most demanding human experiments in space history: a simulated trip to Mars in which six "astronauts" will spend 17 months in an isolation tank on Earth.

Their "ship" will comprise a series of interlocked modules in an research institute in Moscow, and once the doors are closed tight, the volunteers will be cut off from all contact with the outside world except by 40 minute delayed radio link. They will face simulated emergencies, eat ration packs, have daily work routines and experiments, as well as boredom and, no doubt, personal friction from confinement in just 550 cubic metres, the equivalent of nine truck containers.

The goal is to gain experience about the psychological challenges that a crew will face on a trip to Mars. Four of the crew will be Russian, and two will come from countries that are members of ESA, so 12 European volunteers are needed to fill those two spaces taking into account redundancy and backup.

A precursor 105-day study is scheduled to start by mid-2008, possibly followed by another 105-day study, before the full 520-day study begins in late 2008 or early 2009, so if you think you've got the right stuff download the application form here.

I myself am already a trained Marine Corps Flight Officer Astronaut for the purpose of weapons testing in space and would only be called to Mars if hostile life (or peaceful life that just looks too weird so we'd have to kill it anyway) is discovered there.

Source: Yahoo

British Bint goes down like a dog - Part 11 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

I want to take this opportunity to congratulate, support and condone the actions of the British police officer(s) who shot dead some woman in Sevenoaks, Kent last week.

37-year-old Ann Sanderson was engaged in a stand-off with armed police investigating reports of a woman with a gun in a deserted department store car park before being shot. I've no idea why she was doing it, but who cares?

Police were first alerted at about 1.20am to a woman in the High Street area with a gun. Witnesses described hearing shouting during a 20-minute stand-off, followed by a single gunshot at about 3am Monday.

Prior to the shooting, the only woman to have been shot dead by police since 1980 was 16-year-old Gail Kinchin who was unfortunately killed by West Midlands police while she was being held hostage. But hey - Shit happens!

I'm glad the Bobbies got to take down a more viable target this time. There should be no limit on age or sex for the righteous kill.

Source: SkyNews

The Dark Knight's new threads and wheels!

Oooooo!

Bats gets a new toy next summer when playing with his (new) old friend - The Joker. It's called The Batpod.

According to the Los Angeles Times, the gray-and-silver Batpod (OK it's the Bat-cycle) is "tricked out with grappling hooks, cannons and machine guns. The front and rear tires are both a monstrously huge 508 millimeters, and the engines are in the hubs of each wheel!!! Steering isn't by hand but by shoulder, since there aren't handlebars. Instead, there are shields that fit each arm like sleeves and have the ability to rotate around the bike's frame. The two foot pegs are set 3 1/2 feet apart on either side of the tank, which the rider lies on, belly down. That tank also moves up and down — you know, in case Batman needs to dodge bullets or slide under trucks." It's "built" by Wayne Enterprises' Lucius Fox, in reality, it was designed by Dark Knight production designer Nathan Crowley and built by special effects coordinator Chris Corbould. They produced six Batpods for the movie.

Check out this MSN video here.

Fat liberal bastard's new movie is pirated!

Piracy is a blight on both the movie and music industry and will eventually kill it off and finally the human race will have a chance to better itself. However, until that day we must contend with the "blight" of audio and video piracy.

Another blight on the entertainment industry is that stupid wanker Michael Moore and his seemingly endless anti-American films. Needless to say I was overjoyed that his latest rancid trash Sicko has been pirated. It has turned up on the web on those torrent and peer-to-peer content sites and it's apparently a DVD quality copy so now Moore and his distributor, The Weinstein Company, have to persuade people to go to the cinema to see a show that's available free on the Internet.

Muahahahahaha. Shove that up your fat ass Moore, you should have stayed in Cuba with your commie friends. Dumb fuck.

Source: IMDB

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Not shit!

To be honest, I'm waiting for an original film this year that doesn't have a sequel number or a colon in the title. Until Transformers then, we have a superior sequel to a mediocre original first outing for the first-family of Marvel Comics, the Fantastic Four.

The original FF was a sub-standard origin story that introduced the main characters and the main villain and wrapped up by pitting the four heroes against the villian. I'll admit that I wasn't as upset by the "changes" the filmmakers made to the characters, except for Dr. Doom who should not have been cast with a pretty-boy like Julian McMahon thus requiring to need to see his face even after becoming (a rather camp) Doom (Muahahahahaha!).

I was prepared for something at least on-par with FF or Ghost Rider but so long as it was better than the 3rd outings of Spider-Man and the X-Men, I'd be happy. As I don't have a great affinity with the FF as I would for Spider-Man, Batman or obviously Iron Man, I can therefore review this movie on more on it's own merits as opposed to a movie version of something I've read as a comic book just as I would with Ghost-Rider, Daredevil, Elektra, Superman or the X-Men.
What I have read of the FF however, it seems (as far as the team goes anyway) that they nailed them this time, from the super-nerdiness of Reed to the playful antagonism between Johnny and Ben. It was obvious that the cast had grown comfortable with their characters and the team themselves had grown into a more cohesive unit. Thankfully this helped the somewhat lackluster plot along and wasn't drawn out unnecessarily like the excrement that was Spider-Man 3.

The effects and CGI in this movie was (thus) far the best I've seen this summer. The Silver Surfer was awesome and it was amazing to see how far the "liquid-metal" effect has some since T2. While I've never read a single comic-book page featuring the character, I found the character intriguing in his simplicity. I look forward to his own movie which is in the genesis stage now (screenplay currently being written by Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski). The cloud formation that was Galactus was remarkable even though the "cloud" appearance undoubtedly has many Marvel purists up in arms and I'd probably be one of them too if a giant-humanoid wouldn't have looked so fucking ridiculous on screen, probably the only creative decision of Avi Arad's I'd agree with.

The screenplay was awful and could have been written by 12-year-old with a Star Trek technical manual but the direction was tight and well judged and most superior in pace and movement than the original. I was particularly impressed with the performance of Andre Braugher (left) as General Hager, somone from Reed Richards past who enlists the help of the scientist to investigate the strange phenomena that occur during the coming of Galactus.

Let me finish by saying if given a choice between a 3rd Fantastic Four or a 4th Spider-Man I'll take FF3 please.

Colonel Creedon Rating ***1/2

2IGTV Episode 43

Mark opens this 43rd episode for a change, with the latest technology news but we do not neglect the entertainment world with news about celebrities, Rose McGowen, Paris Hilton, Tom Sizemore , Wesley Snipes and The Hoff.
In television land: Fantastic news for "fans" of Jericho plus discover when your most anticipated games are released.
We also have some hot news from Hollywood for the movies, Ghost Rider 2, Die Hard 4.0, Thundercats, Wolverine and Bond 22.
Bonus: In this episode you'll get to hear The Colonel's own impersonation of Sean Connery that he's been working for 20 years to perfect.

All this and much more here.

Stars and Stripes Forever

On this day 230 years ago, one of the most striking and unique flags in the world, most commonly known as the Stars and Stripes was adopted by the United States. Originally it had 13 stars but they have since grown in number to 50, each representing one of the states. The 13 stripes represent the original 13 colonies that rebelled against the crown and became the Union.

Throughout the years it has become the most recognised symbol of the U.S. both as a nation state, government, and set of policies, but also as an ideology and set of ideals. It is a symbol of those who do more than anyone to protect this world against tyranny, terrorism and oppression, a symbol of a fearless people who will stop at nothing to bring freedom, liberty and justice to all.

I salute the flag, on this- Flag Day.

Information Source: Sith Apologist

Star Wars TV writers wanted!

It appears God himself will not be actually writing the Star Wars TV show. This is not necessarilly a bad thing as he should devote more time to promoting his religion and leaving something as simple as writing to common writers.

Apparently the folks from Lucasfilm were in Santa Monica looking for a few good writers for their upcoming live action TV show and met with writers from Lost, Battlestar Galactica and Heroes.

As far as we know at the moment, the upcoming TV show will have a commitment of 100 episodes which would guarantee syndication, be bankrolled 100% by God and all episodes would be shot in Australia or perhaps Vancouver, if the price is right.

Producer Rick McCallum has said that each episode would be given a budget of around 2 and 4 million dollars and would be catered to the teen/adult fans compared to the Star Wars films that were always catered to the teen and young children.

Expect the Star Wars TV show in Late 2009 at the earliest however.

Source: ISEB, theforce.net

Jessica to join the Corps

Jessica Simpson, last seen on the big screen in Employee of the Month and The Dukes of Hazzard, has a new movie lined up.

Simpson will star as a Marine Corps enlistee in Major Movie Star, a Millennium Films production to be directed by Steve Lake Placid Miner and will start shooting next month in Louisiana.

The story reportedly centers around a pampered actress who joins the Marines to convince a movie producer that she's fit for an upcoming military film. When she arrives at Camp Pendleton, she realizes she's made a huge mistake but decides that she has to stick it out.

The Warner Bros. project is based on a spec script by April Blair.

The film will have three things going for it: Marines and the other two...

...Eyes right!