London's Burning

Crap TV show, but a suitable headline for commentary on the London rioting. Although it's not just London now is it? It spread to Birmingham yesterday and the Scousers of Liverpool got in on the act late last night. Tonight #manchesterriots is the trending hashtag on Twitter. Nottingham, Bristol, Kent and Leeds have also been affected.

The flashpoint was the fatal shooting of an alleged criminal Mark Duggan. Duggan is reported to have resisted arrest and once he was plugged, a .380 converted starter pistol was found in his possession. So just like that Brazilian dude who should have stopped when ordered to do so by Metro police back in '05 - it's likely that despite not firing, Duggan's termination was a righteous kill.

Duggan's family, deluded into believing him to be some sort of saint, decided to hold a protest outside the police station in Tottenham, London. It was not long before the protest became ugly [surprise, surprise] and before long turned into a full scale riot, now in it's 4th night.

But Duggan isn't the reason for the London riots and the copycat riots across the UK right now, no the strange thing is that while most riots are in the name of a cause - these have literally none; other than to loot electrical goods and sportswear, and to cause wanton destruction and terror by destroying homes and businesses.

British Prime Minister David Cameron returned home prematurely from his vacation to condemn the worst violence some of these areas have ever seen. "People should be in no doubt that we will do everything necessary to restore order to Britain's streets and to make them safe for the law-abiding" he pledged.

Some have stressed that the police have not done enough and are not heavy handed enough to deter the rioters/looters. There were many calls today from the British public to call in the Army. Sadly these people are of the belief that this would be a solution to the problem and have obviously forgotten and/or are ignorant of the last time the British Army was used to pacify civilian unrest across the water in a little territory called Northern Ireland.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no moral problem with a British soldier riddling a 13 year old boy with 5.56 NATO on the streets of London - provided he was of course engaged in anti-social behaviour [David Cameron today: "If you are old enough to commit these crimes, you are old enough to face the punishment"]. The problem is the inevitable misfires, misidentification, misunderstanding and the unfortunate possibility that an innocent person in such a built up and urban area as the ones being affected will also meet the end of a bullet. In Afghanistan such an error is a statistic, but here in the civilised world it's a tragedy and should not be facilitated.

For the same reason my solution of bombing the affected areas like I wanted to do in france in 2005 would also not work here but it's not like I've gone soft in my old-age or anything - no. I believe in the death penalty for certain offences such as terrorism and what we are witnessing in the UK right now judging from the looks of those innocent victims and witnesses to the violence, mark my words - is terrorism.

Source:BBC News / Sky News
Photo Source: The Telegraph

"Alien" Monkey is false alarm

A UNETIDA Special Operations and Containment team was dispatched to the village of Gezhai in Henan Province, China last Thursday. They were responding to frantic telecommunications chatter concerning the appearance of an Unidentified Xenobiological Entity, but it turned out to be just a malnourished monkey.

"At first I thought it was a rabbit, then I was shocked to see it had an alien face," said Ms Mao Xiping who was so disturbed, she had called the police to come and arrest it.

The starving animal had no hair and it's skeletal frame was visible from malnourishment. It began gorging on Ms Mao's cucumbers but will now only eat peaches. A team of scientists are now caring for and examining the skinny creature to see what species it is and where it came from.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon appeared on TV to put the Chinese people at ease and thanked them for taking the animal into care as opposed to eating it.

Source: Eamo / SkyNews

Alien Bugs attempt to kill German Boy [14]

UNETIDA scientists in Dresden, Germany have been studying a small meteorite that crashed to Earth in the German city of Essen and allegedly struck a schoolboy. The event was set upon by the press on Friday including The Daily Mail, Sky News, The BBC but it's not until it appears on Fox News "does the Special Operations Division of UNETIDA take notice," affirmed Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, the divisions commanding officer, in Germany today.

"Taken at face value, the news story that has been circulated is very disturbing," said The Colonel. "It's not too far fetched to assume that this is just a test strike by the Alien Bugs of the planet Klendathu. They could start with something small like this but eventually could send ones big enough to take out Buenos Aires."

Creedon also expressed concern that any human being that could have survived a direct hit from a meteorite travelling at such tremendous speed, may not in fact be human at all. "What the hell could he be? Superboy! That's all we need now another Kryptonian obliterating real-estate," said The Colonel who promptly entered a Humvee and was driven away.

Discover Magazine has an online blog entry which, although does not debunk the essence of what happened, it points out the lack of some of the most fundamental understanding of science in the original news articles.

Aliens Took Out Our Wind Turbine!

An investigation is under way into how a blade was mysteriously torn off a wind turbine in Conisholme, Lincolnshire, England amid reports of "strange lights" in the sky. A turkey farmer from North Somercotes, he said he saw a bright white light with an orange edge as he drove close to the turbine on Sunday morning.

Local residents speculated the damage could have been caused by a UFO and Wind turbine company Ecotricity said it had never seen anything like it before. A spokeswoman said: "We're conducting a thorough investigation into what happened. This kind of thing has never happened to us before." The missing blade was found on the ground beneath the turbine, she said, adding that the company could not speculate on the cause of the damage.

Robert Palmer, 66, leader of East Lindsey District Council and member of Lincolnshire County Council, wants both authorities to investigate what happened. "I would be very interested to find out what it was. If we are being looked at by other people, by other planets, it would be interesting to find out why they have chosen this part of the country. It's a rich agricultural part of the country and we have got a concentration of turbines here which may have fascinated them. You just don't know, do you? I am not counting it out that it was a UFO. There are things out there that you cannot explain. I would have thought that if it was a UFO, it would have been more sophisticated than to drive in to the turbine. It's fascinating."

While the British Ministry of Defence said it was not looking into the incident, the United Nations Extra Terrestrial Invasion Defence Agency dispatched Lt. Colonel "Whopper" Creedon to investigate. "I've never heard of a weather balloon doing this kind of damage before, but I think it's obvious that that's what we're dealing with here. It must have completely disintegrated on impact - incredible!" the Colonel told press later.

***Additional***
Civillian Overseer reported this link to me from Sky News.

Source: The Press Association

Iran in Chaos

It's always heart-warming to see chaos in a "belligerent Wog-country" like Iran where the government has introduced fuel restrictions. Since the rationing came into force on Tuesday night, twelve petrol stations have been torched in Tehran and there are unconfirmed reports that supermarkets and banks have also come under attack.

Mile-long queues, patrolled by police, now snake round central Tehran as drivers wait patiently for their allowance. The restrictions limit the private motorist to 100 litres per month, official taxi drivers to 800 litres. It's the first time in living memory that Iranians have had to face such restrictions and it's prompted a furious reaction. Partly because the rationing was brought in late at night with just three hours notice and partly because Iranians have grown up with idea that cheap petrol is their birthright. With the average price per litre just 8 pence (cheaper than water there), this is probably the cheapest country in the world to be a motorist.

The paradox is that Iran is the second largest oil producer in OPEC, but it lacks refineries and imports as much as 40 per cent of its petrol - to the tune of £2.5bn a year. With inflation now running at 20-30 per cent, the government is taking a stand. The rationing is predicted to last four months, maybe as long as six. And the knock-on effects could be profound. In Tehran alone, as many as 100,000 people supplement their income as unlicensed taxi drivers. In a city with limited public transport, they do a brisk trade.

Sounds to me like the US should go and liberate these poor unfortunate people once and for all.

Source: Sky News

Set Tasers on Stun

I see that in the United Kingdom, more police officers are to be armed with Taser stun guns.

Interestingly, use of the controversial weapons will no longer be limited to trained firearms officers, if independent medical advice backs the proposal. Crucially, the circumstances in which suspects can be stunned will also be widened.

A 12-month trial will extend use of Taser to specially-trained units who are not authorised firearms officers. They would also extend the use of Taser by authorised firearms officers where the criteria to use firearms does not apply.

Recently one of Britain's top policemen, Greater Manchester Police's Chief Constable Michael Todd volunteered to be shot with a 50,000 volt Taser stun gun in a bid to convince the public they are safe to use. He convulsed in agony as two wire barbs hit him in the back. "It hurt like hell!" he said.

Tasers work by firing metal barbs into the skin which then discharge a 50,000 volt electrical charge which is designed to temporarily disable someone long enough to allow police to detain them safely.

Although I'm a more "high velocity explosive projectile" kinda guy, there is something inherently melodic about the shrieks of someone being tazered as I showed here before. I hope they catch on, (and don't leg go) Muahahahahaha!

Sources: verious British Press, Sky News

British Bint goes down like a dog - Part 11 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

I want to take this opportunity to congratulate, support and condone the actions of the British police officer(s) who shot dead some woman in Sevenoaks, Kent last week.

37-year-old Ann Sanderson was engaged in a stand-off with armed police investigating reports of a woman with a gun in a deserted department store car park before being shot. I've no idea why she was doing it, but who cares?

Police were first alerted at about 1.20am to a woman in the High Street area with a gun. Witnesses described hearing shouting during a 20-minute stand-off, followed by a single gunshot at about 3am Monday.

Prior to the shooting, the only woman to have been shot dead by police since 1980 was 16-year-old Gail Kinchin who was unfortunately killed by West Midlands police while she was being held hostage. But hey - Shit happens!

I'm glad the Bobbies got to take down a more viable target this time. There should be no limit on age or sex for the righteous kill.

Source: SkyNews

2IGTV Episode 39

In this amazing 39th episode we have big news on Sci-Fi's Flash Gordon and Bruckheimer's Prince of Persia.
We discuss who the new Incredible Hulk will be animated by and we reveal who will play the Green Goliath's alter-ego, Bruce Banner.
We ask, what's Painkiller Jane like? And just what factors is The Punisher 2 screenwriter taking into account?
Discover that Anna Nicole Smith's movie being cast before her corpse is cold and what screen legend Bruce Campbell is up to next.

Get all this and more here.

Ze Germans want CIA arrested

This shit really annoys me: A court in Munich has issued warrants for the arrests of 13 suspected CIA agents who allegedly kidnapped and tortured a German citizen.

The men are accused of falsely imprisoning and causing grievous bodily harm to Khaled el Masri. Mr Masri was arrested in Macedonia in late 2003 and says he was handed over to the CIA. He was then flown to Afghanistan, where he was held until his release at the end of May 2004.

State prosecutors say the accused are thought to have been on board the plane which took him to Kabul. They were identified with the aid of intelligence provided by Spanish investigators.

"According to current findings, the particulars of the suspects listed in the arrest warrants suggest these could be cover identities of CIA agents," prosecutors said in a statement.

The case has increased speculation in Europe about so-called rendition flights, where US intelligence agencies allegedly used private planes to transport suspects from one legal jurisdiction to another.

As I said, this really annoys me. Just look at the guys name: Khaled el Masri it's not Hans so he can't be German and so he's obviously a terrorist. The CIA do not torture people, they "persuasively interview" people and if you co-operate with them then there no need for waterboarding. So why didn't this wog co-operate? Because he was a terrorist. Anyhow, it's pretty obvious Ze Germans are just looking for some excuse to get back at the US after having their ass kicked in WWII.

Source: Sky News

Sword-Wielding Hero

British police are trying to trace a mysterious samurai sword-wielding vigilante who came to the rescue of two Bobbies when they were being attacked by an armed gang.

The officers had been set upon after they tried to disrupt a burglary at a flat in Laygate, South Shields. A group of men had knocked on the door pretending to be policemen before forcing their way in to ransack the place. The passing plain-clothes officers were alerted when a woman inside started screaming, and went to help.

However, they were outnumbered, and the criminals were armed with a hammer, knives and a metal chain. One of them lunged at a policeman with his knife - but just as he did so, a mysterious do-gooder appeared from nowhere and attacked him with a samurai sword. One of the burglars ran off, but was stopped by the stranger, who hit him on the arm with the sword.
He was arrested, along with another man from the flat, but in true superhero fashion the samurai man disappeared before police could speak to him.

Full Story from Sky News.
Right: The Colonel with his Daywalker sword for "home defence".









Source: Sky News

Because people shouldn't die from bullets (unless they're shot).

I can't say I give much of a shit about the environment. Normally any effort one has to go to in order to take care of it either expensive or time-consuming, neither of which appeals to me as someone who has to be available 24/7 to save the planet from Alien Bugs. I believe people like Al Gore are mindless cretins, and members of Greenpeace should either be shot on sight or charged with terrorism and incarcerated and I unceremoniously turn away from my door anyone canvassing for The Green Party come election time.

That said, I do condone initiatives like the effort of BAE Systems, Europe's largest defence company to protect the environment by designing an "environmentally friendly" lead-free bullet. They say that "lead used in ammunition can harm the environment and pose a risk to people", which naturally I can assume to be people that are not meant to be actually shot by the ammo!

The firm's director of corporate social responsibility, Dr Debbie Allen, said that although it may seem strange to have a "green" policy for munitions, it was important to consider their environmental impact. "Weapons are going to be used and when they are, we try and make them as safe for the user as possible, to limit the collateral damage and to impact as little as possible on the environment,".

On its website, the defence giant says it also aims to design shells which are less likely to explode by accident.

Source: Sky News

When Baby Showers Go Bad

A baby shower is another stupid invention where the family and friends of expectant parents are "showered" with baby gifts etc. I'm sure you've all seen or heard of one from US originated movies and television.
What was intresting about this one reported on Sky News, was that a guest was shot and several other guests as well as the expectant mother herself were beaten with a stick!!!
Needless to say that this has changed my opinion of this particular event; If this is the level of excitment and violence that exist at these things perhaps I'll start producing my own children now...

The United Kingdom: The Best Country In The World!

Now that's obviously not an opinion I've just formulated myself having only spent a total of almost 6 weeks of my entire life there, no, it's the results of the latest useless infomation poll which no doubt cost an obscene amount of money to undertake and correlate data from.
The results basically show that the United Kingdom is simply the best country. It's citizens are also the most polite and most well educated but also the most dry, tedious, uninteresting, unexciting, insipid, monotonous and dreary people in the whole world. Imagine that?

Women Drivers in Saudi

Whatever next? There's an informal ban on women drivers in cities and on main roads in Saudi Arabia but now, Western influence has changed some attitudes and, provided that their men agree, women drivers could be a more frequent site!

I work with a man from Saudi Arabia and he pulls some crazy shit to get accross town in the evenings- heaven help us if his countrywomen get behind the wheel of a car.

So British!

An intresting thing on Sky News last evening: An American who sent a message in a bottle across the Atlantic has been "told off" by a Briton for littering.

Captain Harvey Bennett, of Napeague in Long Island's Hamptons resort, launched five plastic bottles into the ocean last August. Last week, one of them returned in the post with a letter telling him off for throwing rubbish into the sea.

His bottle had been picked up by Henry Biggelsworth, in Bournemouth, Dorset, according to the East Hampton Star newspaper. He said he had found the bottle on the beach at Poole Harbour and was not impressed. "You Americans don't seem to be happy unless you are mucking about somewhere," he wrote. The letter began "Dear 'Captain Bennett'" and continued: "I recently found your bottle while taking a scenic walk on the beach by Poole Harbour. "While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path and speed of oceanic currents, I have another name for it, litter."

Capt Bennett, 55, who owns a tackle shop, said he was somewhat taken aback. He said: "I kind of felt like no good deed goes unpunished." Capt Bennett said he thought the recent hurricanes had helped the bottle on its 3,000-mile transatlantic journey.

Personally I think this is just the sort of thing that could spark an international incident. The question is where would my loyalty lie? With the USMC whom I've sworn allegience, or my British neighbours, whom last year gave me an OBE?