Saturday, October 29, 2005

Next she'll be admitting to touching the Whizzinator!!!

Dumb blonde Paris Hilton has slammed reports she denied ever meeting Tom Sizemore, but insists she has never had sexual relations with the troubled actor. In new sex video, Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal, the Black Hawk Down star alleges he had a one night stand with Hilton after a party at his house in 2001, when the hotel heiress was 19.

Hilton quickly rushed out a statement denying his claims, saying, "He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him."

However, after Vivid Entertainment - the producers of Sizemore's sex tape - released a photo of the pair at the actor's house in 2001, Hilton insists she has been unfairly portrayed as lying about ever meeting him. Her new publicist Jack Ketsoyan says, "We never said she never met him. She never slept with him and he's not an acquaintance of hers. She doesn't even know who that other girl in the photo is. To me, 'acquaintance' means that you're not friends; you've met in the past but that's pretty much it. She doesn't remember the party at all."

I'm well used to her kind, what I get out of this statement is: if she doesn't remember the party at all she was obviously to pissed to remember bedding Sizemore!

14 comments:

sith apologist said...

Maybe Tom has issues in his life, but I can't see them being so big that, instead of performing the deed with a young blonde millionairess, he slips her the whizzinator instead of the real thing. ALthough the denial of "intimate acquaintances with him" implies he may have! Wierd.
I find the selective memory syndrome quite prevelent amongst those who drink too much and smoke things other than tobacco.

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

I was implying that Tom was on the same substances at the party so he may not have been able to tell the difference between The Whizzinator or the real thing.

sith apologist said...

Maybe thats why Paris is in denail; she's wondering what kind of wierdo whips out two tools to use on her at once?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Considering she produced her own "video" not so long ago I daresay she would have been more delighted than apalled by both tools :)

sith apologist said...

Yes, but the indecision of Tom as he decides whether to use the whizzinator or the real thing! Thats just too much :-)

Cubaboy said...

Surely it would then become the Gizzinator??

sith apologist said...

Na, the real thing would be the Gizzinator, the original would still be as was. Either way, Paris got a suprise, pleasant or otherwise!

Colonel - how would this scene play out on screen? Not too much detail though, please.

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

How should I know? I think you've lost sight of the fact that Tom is playing me in "Colonel Creedon: The Man Who Shot Liberty" not the other way around..

Master Guns said...

I think "Colonel Creedon: The man who did his best to get his whole unit killed" is better!

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

There are always casualties in war Bill, you know that. It's just a shame that some of them have to be your own men.

Master Guns said...

That's your answer for all the families if the men that have died because of your action or inaction?

sith apologist said...

Or mis-action? Who could forget the legendary Vaughan-related friendly fire incident, which coined the phrase "this handgun is magnificent"

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Will you shut-up about that! It was an accident. It could've happened to anyone.

But yes it was a magnificent handgun!

sith apologist said...

At least I own up to my friendly fire incidents. Of course, its hard to deny it when you're cackling with glee and unloading rocket after rocket in the direction of your own troops. Hmmm.