Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Colonel In Crisis: Final Part - Clipped Wings

Well thankfully the final authorised punishment wasn't too harsh:

"as a result you are to receive a reduction in grade to O-5 for 48 months without promotion selection and to enter a training programme which will correct the violation of the Marine Corps Regulation within 12 months. Both sentences to commence concurrently on November 21st 2006.
Furthermore you are to use whatever means at your disposal to donate without possibility of monetary gain or re-imbursement, your MKIV Apple iPod to a worthy cause by Dec 31st 2006- and under the assumption that there are none more worthy than the weirdos who frequent your online blog".

Hey, anything’s better than prison after you lot described it to me :)

38 comments:

sith apologist said...

iPod, eh?
Well, you have my address :p

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

I'll create some sort of elaborate competition methinks and make you all jump through hoops!

Master Guns said...

Maybe I should get it for being left behind?


Ah well, no harm in trying.

Pint Of said...

Maybe you could consider donating your ipod to the well known charity of thosewhodefendyoudaily, based out of myoffice? you would have the added satisfaction of converting another to your "style" of music instead of the crap that you claim i listen to.

i must say though, i think that i made a better argument than Sithy! all his UNLIMITED POPWER must be flat after attempting to overthrow a woman!

sith apologist said...

Silence, wench. Respect those who deserve the iPod most.

Pint Of said...

Indeed Sithy, i would always respect those who are superior to me, but seeing as I haven't encountered any of them yes I have never had to, on a slightly lateral note, "silence Wench?" Surely you can do better than that, i can only trust in the Lt Colonels wonderful ability to discern who is most deserving; the fate of the I-Pod is in his hands alone. And proximity to the I-Pod and transport costs may factor into it also. :-)

Anonymous said...

No, proximity should play no part. I believe it should go to, historically, he who has pushed up the hit counter the most!

Civilian Overseer said...

As the Civilian Oversight on the "Committee to redistribute the IPOD", I believe I have the final say on who is the most worthy and thus where the IPOD goes. I of course am excluded from the process as I must maintain my impartialty.

So folks, convince me.

Civilian Overseer said...

"Anonymous" posters are excluded from the process as the disgraced Lt.Colonel could use the lack of a ID to weasel outof parting with the IPOD.

Civilian Overseer said...

So that leaves "Pint of", "Sithy" and "Guns" in the running.

The Deadline for Submissions of worthiness is midnight tonight.

I shall then judge you all.

sith apologist said...

Justification:
I ... am me.


As was anonymous of 11.54. Damn mobile reset my name after the word verification.

Civilian Overseer said...

I have to sat that Sithy makes a pretty good case for the IPOD. Guns whinging on about being left behind is not very convincing, frankly, I'm beginning to see why that happened. Pint's blatant attempt to play the Chick Carddoes not impress me much.

PF said...

I would like to be in the running for the 'win an iPOD Competition'.

My justification for me getting it is that the Lt Colonel can then say that he is promoting his global relations by supporting his allies in the U.K.
I will be deleting all that crap movie theme music right off it!!!!

sith apologist said...

I can also subvert pf's bid, by making the same international relations claim :)

What I do with the music on the iPod would depend what the Colonel left on it ... he's aware of my tastes

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Good thinking PF! There will be a competition. It will be magnificent!

To ensure fairness there will be two other iPod-owning-judges appointed.

sith apologist said...

Waves hand suggestively
sith apologist, the eventual winner, should be a judge

Civilian Overseer said...

I feel it is my duty as the Civilian Oversight on the "Committee to redistribute the IPOD", (hereafter refered to as the CRI) to step in and disbar the LtCol from serving in any capacity on the CRI.

I quote the terms of the original sentance handed down to justify this decision,
Furthermore you are to use whatever means at your disposal to donate without possibility of monetary gain or re-imbursement,

The key term here is without possibility of monetary gain or re-imbursement, as such the LtCol cannot be given a position that may unduly influence the outcome of the Competion to determine worthiness (hereafter known as the CDW for monetary gain or re-imbursement from the outcome of the CDW.

However, again by the terms of the original sentance, you are to use whatever means at your disposal the LtCol can set the terms of the CDW

Failure to comply with the these decisions will result in the current temporary reduction in grade to 0-5 for 18 months becoming permanent.

As the original and therefore the best Judge on the CRI, I shall serve as self appointed Chairman of the CRI. I reiterate that serving Judges are excluded from entering the CDW. Judging our fellow posters is reward enough.

Anonymous said...

... without monetary gain ...
His cost of postage to me will ensure no gain!

Civilian Overseer said...

As Chairman of the CRI, I repeat "Anonymous" posters are excluded from the CDWprocess as the disgraced LtCol could use the lack of a ID to weasel out of parting with the IPOD.

Anonymous said...

dammit, have to stop posting from my phone, it keeps not submitting my name!

sith apologist said...

*punishes phone*

Anonymous said...

What a load of bollox

Civilian Overseer said...

Lt.Col, you may now set the terms of the CDW.

Civilian Overseer said...

Lt.Col, if you are not afraid that is.

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

As you wish: I hereby disband the CRI as it's not a military institution. Similarly the CDW is abolished as it's unsanctioned.

I will just say that despite no civilian oversight, I will not be wranging my way out of giving away my old iPod. It's quite redundant after replacing it recently with a new black iPod video and I've no reason to keep it at all. The judges I've appointed will see to it that it gets to you anyway.

Back to the actual competition: I've been working on the specifics and the judges have been informed of their duties. All will be revealed at the weekend.

Civilian Overseer said...

Lt.Col, whats this?, a military coup against the Civilian Leadership of this blog?, someone's got a hankering for the long Court Martial tribunal.

However, I recognise a bribe when I see one, I quote, The judges I've appointed will see to it that it gets to you anyway.

I graciously accept Lt.Col,

I'll turn a blind eye this time but the next time you try and pull a stunt like this, you're looking at 0-4, Major.

Fear the Mighty Civilian Oversight!

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Hmmm, for someone who knows that the grade code for Major is O-4 (even though you use a Zero instead of O - but I'll let that slide) you're not too good at the ol' addressing protocol.

Allow me (and this isn't just for you but especially to those of you who are not too military-minded or even never watched Star Trek):

A Lieutenant General of a service like the Army (of any country) signs off or is addressed in correspondance as "Lieutenant General" or "Lt.Gen.", but when speaking to a Lieutenant General you refer to him as just "General", as in "Yes General" or "No General" etc. because Lieutenant General is basically too much of a mouthful to say. The same with some Enlisted grades CPO (Chief Petty Officer) is referred to as "Chief". If anyone has watched Star Trek- similarly you'll notice that when Picard is introducing Data to someone he says "This is Lieutenant Commander Data, my second officer" or words to that effect, but actually calls him Commander Data in speech when talking or ordering him.

It's improper therefore to just use Col. as that's the O-6 abbreviation, but it's also improper to continuously refer to me as "Lt.Col." without using my name. It's more proper to address me as "Colonel" when posting to me directly in comments. When referring to me in the 3rd person use "Lt.Col. Creedon" or "the Lt.Colonel".

A good reference is actually the latest seasons of the Stargate shows. These should teach you the proper way of addressing me nowadays as there are no less than three Lieutenant Colonels on the show now. You will normally hear them being referred to as Colonel Carter, Colonel Shepard, Colonel Mitchell or just "Colonel" even though they are only O-5s.

Actually the ever-trusty Wikipedia has an entry. Pay particular attention to the Terminology reference. Where it will also shed some light on the rather enigmatic "Bottlecap" reference used here recently.

Civilian Overseer said...

In that case you can be, Lt.Col or LTC, your choice.

Anonymous said...

Whats this?!, I accidently wandered in here from another thread, to discover the charred and broken body of my dear friend Pint Of, surrounded by what looks like, lots and lots of broken glass, only the good clones get defenestrated young!. To cap it all the bounder that committed the foul deed upsurged my own identity, Sithy Not on at all.

Daniel said...

Colonel, Overseer. I'm not an expert on the Corps but I am an Army man and I believe both you and the Colonel have made errors.

Despite saying When referring to me in the 3rd person use "Lt.Col. Creedon" or "the Lt.Colonel". that last part should be just the Colonel as it was before, (I suspect it was a mistype as you've referred to yourself as the Colonel subsequent to your demotion) there is no change in the courtacy, just you would say the General and the Chief similarly to service members holding those ranks.

-On a side note please call a Chief Warrant Officer Chief and watch what happens :)-

Mr.Overseer- The choice is not the Colonel's in this instance, his service prohibits the use of LTC, that's exclusively an Army abbreviation, the correct one for a Marine is LtCol or Lt.Col. either of which you may use but only when using his name as well, so you must use LtCol Creedon or Lt.Col. Creedon but not Col. Creedon or Col Creedon. I think I'd find it easier to use Colonel, but that's just me :)

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

It was a mistype indeed Dan. Don't waste your breath on Civilian Overseer, he understands but chooses to defy military protocol in a vain effort to annoy me.
He's being doing it since he first asked me for months on end "Where are the toilets on the Enterprise?".

Civilian Overseer said...

Danny, Soldier, that took guts and initiative to correct a powerful corrupt, fat cat politican like me, thats why, as a reward, I've pulled some strings and got you posted to Iraq. We need such bravery on the front line.

Fear the Mighty Civilian Oversight!

Lt.Col, you've never adequately answered that question.

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST YOU STUPID CUNT, I HAD RAYMOND WALSH BRING HIS EXPENSIVE ENTERPRISE D BLUEPRINTS ALL THE WAY DOWN FROM THE PALE TO CARLAH TO SHOW YOU PERSONALLY THAT THE GODDAMN FUCKIN' SHITTER IS JUST OFF THE STARBOARD ALCOVE BEHIND AND TO THE LEFT OF RIKER AS YOU FACE THE BRIDGE CREW FROM THE VIEWSCREEN! THE DOOR OF WHICH WE NEVER SEE BUT IS FACING THE DOOR OF THE OBSERVATION LOUNGE!!!!!!! JEEEEEE-SUSSSS!!!!!

Civilian Overseer said...

he understands but chooses to defy military protocol in a vain effort to annoy me.

Well, can't say that that anymore, at last We have our revenge!

pint of said...

The words QUEEN and DRAMA come to mind reading this, (In no particular order).

Civilian Overseer said...

Yes, Pints, The Lt.Col is a little bitch who longs to be on the stage. Look at the staged court martial.

pint of said...

And to think that I first thought that the letter of courtmarshall was a ploy to get him intoxicated for his birthday. Waht was it Creedon, your fortyfirst?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Oh HO ho ho, Ha ha ha, He he he. I'm laughing so hard the stitches from my last war wound are opening up.