Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas

Dear readers, Please accept with no obligation, implied or expressed, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the holiday* of your choice on or about the winter solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped to make Ireland great (not to imply that Ireland is greater than any other country or is the only "Ireland" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. Notice, Disclaimer and Conditions of Greeting: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable, provided there is no alteration to the original greeting, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. There is no promise by the wisher, express or implied, to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

*As used herein, "holiday" is limited to its secular meaning, without regard to its English language derivation from the words "holy day".

Just in case all that went over your head: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Col. Ciaran "Whopper" Creedon!


Anonymous said...

Go fuck yourself. ;-P

Unknown said...

Happy Christmas!``