Monday, January 02, 2006

The Whopper Awards 2005 - Part 1

Those of you who heard 2IGTV episode 10 will know of the awards I intended to present on air but was denied by he who has creative control. Fear not however, because now as 2005 is at an end, the time is right to present the winners list from all walks of life in the entertainment industry:

Nominees for Best Actor In A Dramatic Role:
Ed Harris: A History Of Violence
Bruce Willis: Hostage
Micky Rourke: Sin City
Jack Black: King Kong

I give the award to Ed Harris, an actor above them all whom as you already know I had the privilege of seeing on stage in November. In A History Of Violence, Harris plays Carl Fogarty a man with a glass eye who works for Richie (William Hurt) a man whom Tom (Viggo Mortensen) has crossed in past. Fogarty is the man sent to bring him to Richie or kill him. Hariss plays the bad guy expertly, he's both evil and creepy with a gravely voice and a mean look in his only eye. I'll admit that I only wnt to see the film because I saw Harris with the glass eye in the trailer.
I may have fought in dozens of conflicts accross the globe and have more medals than Patton, but would I say Boo to this Fogarty character? Not a fuckin' chance mate.

Nominees for Best Actor In A Mindless Action Role
Jet Li: Unleashed
Ewan McGregor: The Island
The Rock: Doom
Jason Stratham: The Transporter 2

It has to be Jason Stratham here, reprising his role as the ultra-cool Transporter, a sort of armed Fed-Ex man for 'special packages'. You want something delivered in a timely fashion, no questions asked, he's you man. A modern-day Han Solo. This award is given to whomever pulls off the action-man stuff in a convincing fashion. The Rock was a very close second, Jet had good martial-arts but little gun-play, and Ewan was good, but not good enough. Stratham had it all though martial arts, guns, explosions, fast cars and even a change of suit in the trunk- pure class.

Coming in Part 2: The Actresses...


Anonymous said...

you're only giving the award to Harris because you admitted he was scary the night we saw him and you're probably afraid he'd come round and personally hurt you if you did'nt...........thing is he probably would!

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

As Worf once said in The Next Generation: "A manwithout fear is a fool"