Friday, March 27, 2009

Naked Cowen Is A Bloody Disgrace

I was appalled to learn over the past few days that some cretin was able to waltz into the portrait section of both the National Gallery of Ireland and the Royal Hibernian Academy and erect painted nude caricatures of An Taoiseach Brian Cowen.

Now, while I obviously have a sense of humour and so does Cowen [he even altered the expansion of his BIFFO nickname to Big Intelligent Fellow From Offaly while on television LOL], but there is a line to to be drawn somewhere like the one that should exist before jokes about paedophilia or using the 'n' word as a form of humour. Now as a public figure, I realise Cowen has to contend with the class of parody afforded to all political leaders, especially the great ones before him: Scrap Saturday existed to lampoon the great Charlie Haughey; lefty rag The Phoenix made it's sales from taking the piss out of our beloved Bertie for 15 years; our British neighbours created Spitting Image and depicted Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher in bed together and everyone on the planet has seen a America's hilarious attempts at satire by comparing George W. Bush's facial expressions with those of chimpanzees. However, hanging nude pictures of the head of government in The National Gallery crosses that line too.

Despite being disgraceful, the news story was jumped upon by the usual liberal media and strangely mentioned on RTE, the national broadcaster. Regaining some measure of redemption, RTE later apologised and removed the appalling story from the archives but sadly not before the country's miscreant blogger elite jumped on it keeping it alive as an example of government censorship likening us to North Korea or is it the country's loss of humour in these tough economic times or RTE's love affair with the government - it's difficult to know what their point is [if any] amidst the badly-written puke-inducing liberal rhetoric.

To be honest, two things annoy me more then the disrespect shown to the office of the Taoiseach. One is the obviously little or no security at either location. The clown walked into each establishment with presumably a large enough box/package to house a picture frame, produce a hammer, drive a nail into a wall, erect the portraits and walk out again apparently unchallenged by any form of physical security. While I'm not suggesting the level of scrutiny that I went through upon visiting public locations in Washington D.C. last week, it does highlight woeful protection of our more treasured works of art - even those in that section of The National Gallery like civil war hero Micheal Collins, playwright W.B. Yeats, broadcaster Gay Byrne and musician Bono [well O.K. perhaps we can afford to have Bono stolen or defaced - that moron doesn't really deserve to have his image there].

Secondly: even more disturbing is the true profession of the "artist" of the offensive portraits - A SCHOOLTEACHER - that's right, someone who's job is is to develop the minds of the nation's youth, no wonder the gurriers are as they are!!! One Conor Casby, is a 35 year old Dublin [why am I not surprised] secondary school teacher. According to The Irish Times, the Gardaí have interviewed him and are preparing a file for the Director of Public Prosecutions including recommendations for prosecution for indecency, incitement to hatred and criminal damage [obviously hammering a nail into a wall of The National Gallery of Ireland]. If convicted, he would face a heavy fine and possibly even a stint in jail. Sadly, the death penalty for this kind of subversive is unlikely - a crying shame.

36 comments:

Civilian Overseer said...

Wheither he goes to prison or not Mr.Conor Casby is now a rising Star of the Irish art scene.

Sending him to prison will only make him more famous than you can possible imagine, Colonel. ;)

Constance said...

So now you can be nicked for possession of art with intent to display? If only he hadn't been caught, the Colonel could have recruited him.

Here at my own museum we had several pieces of art stolen and they instituted a staff bag check upon exit. I therefore feel free to add "Presumed Art Thief" to my resume.

Constance said...

And speaking of art: That's a very handsome new photo you've posted of yourself, Creedon. You know, I still haven't received my autographed photo...

Bruce Russell said...

Wow, it's a good thing I held off on sending Creedon pics of my upcoming Maplethorpe-inspired exhibit on Michael Collins . . .

Bock the Robber said...

I understand he hung the pictures without driving nails into walls.

Colonel Creedon said...

@ Civvy: So is Charles Manson, who I have no problem being famous either so long as he keeps getting denied parole.

@ Constance: My apologies, my dear. I'm afraid I have only "tasteful nudes" left until the next print run. I'll be sure to furnish you with one.

@ Bruce: Aye, good call.

@ Bock: This only means that he was able to hang a picture without a nail! He's therefore capable of sorcery and should be henceforth burned at the stake!

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, You right, this Casby character is too dangerous to let live.

Do what must be done.

Civilian Overseer said...

P.S. Dispose of this Bock character as well. Loose ends and all that.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure That Tiger Woods Guy, chillin' in his crib, feels the same as you do, Creedon. Of course, we have seen photos of him in some very tasteful swimming shorts and I know that no one would like to see a caricature of a handsome, ripped Obama. Or is that everyone? I keep getting those two confused.

At any rate, am I really the only person who was reminded of that portrait Kryten did of Rimmer? Really?

Constance said...

I clicked the wrong button!! That wasn't anonymous, that was me!!!

ugh. Sunday mornings. I need more sleep and less late night tv watching. NCIS is always on and it is totally your fault that I started watching it!!

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, Connie is getting too sloppy to continue as a field operative. Send in the "Cleaners"..

sith master said...

Wipe them out, all of them. Do what must be done, show no mercy.

Constance said...

Hah! Good luck, "Civvy." Do you forget that I know where the bodies are buried?

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, You know where the bodies are buried?, so you're advertising the fact that you know too much...

Sithy, At last We shall have our revenge!

Bruce Russell said...

She's also shared that information with her attorney . . .

Bruce Russell said...

BTW- Enough of this culture and art business! The public demands to hear The Colonel's thoughts on the BSG finalé, as well as his experiences playing Fourth Edition Dungeons & Dragons!

My "word verification" for this post is "Cardiaco." Didn't Iron Man square off against him back in the '80s? Tony Stark: "You won't get away with this, Cardiaco, URK!" [Crumples to ground clutching chest]

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, No Sithy, Add Brucie to the list.

Constance said...

Yes, yes, yes, the pest control guy is after me blah blah blah. But I ask you again: Am I really the only person who was reminded of that thing with Rimmer and Kryten?????

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, Yes, you are the only one. Now, Hush, it won't be long now...

Constance said...

Whomever you send will never make it past Fluffy.

Colonel Creedon said...

@ Bruce: I'm preparing something, for BSG but it's not yet complete.

I've not even read the 4E rules yet, yet alone played it. My thoughts will be revealed in time.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, Fluffy?, do you mean Coyote Bait?

Colonel, Most of us have only one life to live, We can't wait until the end of the universe for you to gather your thoughts.

Civilian Overseer said...

I agree with Bruce, I'd dearly love to hear the Colonel's take on him being descended from from a Toaster.

Constance said...

Now civvy, what makes you think that she'll be tearing out throats? She will thwart your killer with irresistible cuteness.

She got it from me.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie,

Firstly, the term "Coyote Bait" denotes "Victim" not "Killer" status. Kindly think of the Queen before mangling her language. God Save Her Majesty!

Secondly, The Mighty Department of Civilian Oversight does not employ, Killers, We like to use the term "Health Adjustment Technicians". It seems more humane somehow.

Thirdly, the only worry I have about your Fluffy impeding the work of our "Health Adjustment Technicians", is her unknown cuteness factor. They're big softies at heart no matter how much brain washing techniques We use.

Fourthly, Any comments on the Colonel's Toaster status?, I move that we deport him posthaste.

Constance said...

Look here Mr. McSmartypants,

Firstly, I am aware that the term "Coyote Bait" denotes "Victim," not "Killer" status. Just because you were clear with your language doesn't mean that I was with mine. My deepest apologies to the Queen for mangling her language. Say hey from me next time you see her.

Secondly, you are fooling yourself with "Health Adjustment Technicians". Can they get the job done or not? My guess is "not"

Thirdly, my second point is proven. Her cuteness factor when last measured was basically off the charts. Humans and canines alike submit to her will.

Fourthly, comments on the Colonel's Toaster status? no. He would kill me if I preempted his review in any way, shape, or form. I mean, I would be dead. So dead I would never type again. I would equal a doornail. Really dead. So dead you would have to pronounce like a Southerner (so that it would have two syllables, in case you wondered.) But I suppose that if you were to deport him, he might survive in America with all the other Irish as long as you send along enough boiled cabbage and bacon, or whatever it is you people think is food.

Bruce Russell said...

"Day-ud"?

Constance said...

You got it!

Civilian Overseer said...

Point taken Woofy is going to the "Farm".

I've sought legal advise on the feasability of deporting the Colonel to the U.S. and have been advised that such an action is infeasible at this time, apparently inflicting the Colonel's ginger genes on generations of yet unconcieved American Citizens would be considered a form of biological attack by the Dept. of Homeland Security. They take a dim view of such things.

Anyhow, I was thinking "Elba" or "St.Helens" would be more in keeping with the Colonel's predecessors.

dbspin said...

You know Ciaran, right up until I read this post I actually took your whole right wing loon shtick seriously. Despite writing for a satire magazine and a being dry bastard myself, I can only shake my head at the degree of sarcasm involved in your persona.

Constance said...

What? You're going to through him into a volcano, is that what that means?

I can hear Nichelle Nichols' voice right now:

"And so the Trekkies were executed in the manner most befitting virgins."

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, St.Helens, the island not the volcano, it's a good place to send military mad men when they are too dangerous to let live but you can't kill 'em for various political reasons.

Previously We tried Elba but the tricky feckers keep escaping from there and it takes around a hundred days to round them up again.

Killer Qoute, consider it stolen, does the method involve throwing them to Zapp Brannigan to do with what he will?


Colonel, dispose of this dpspin character, his desperate need for attention irks me. Feel free to employ the method suggested by my esteemed colleague, Connie earlier. It seems appropriate somehow.

Constance said...

The method, pre-Brannigan, involves this:

Trekkies line up along the volcano, leading up to the mouth. The Trekkies wear t-shirts saying things like "Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life here." Two law enforcement agents are at the mouth of the volcano. One by one they chuck in a Trekkie, eulogizing him with a simple, meaningful "He's dead Jim."

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, I like it, painful and entertaining at the same time. Who knew Librarians could be so efficent. ;)

Constance said...

Librarians, efficient, yes... Almost as unbelievable as effective politicians!

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie My Dear, I never claimed to be efficent. ;)