Zombies: "Hit them hard and hit them often" says report

It appears that the BBC is finally taking the Zombie threat more seriously than most. Researches in Canada published a scientific paper within a book entitled Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress. There, they theorise a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations. They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the zombies and conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often". They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

"This is exactly the advice that governments should be getting", said Colonel "Whopper" Creedon of UNETIDA [the United Nations Extra Terrestrial Invasion Defence Agency]. "The analysis contained in this book reveals that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies or some other namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense would only put off the inevitable - that we must eradicate the threat instantly, without any form of consensus or consultation with scientists or government. The military should have a mandate to neutralise this threat decisively as soon as it manifests itself without any civilian oversight - after all is it not those civilians who could be turned into Zombies themselves..."

Creedon went on to say UNPASID [the United Nations Paranormal and Supernatural Interdiction Directorate] of which counter-zombie defence is part of it's mission, has barely 20% of the funding that UNETIDA has "yet it's arguably just as likely that the planet will find itself under threat from the Zompocalypse than an Extra-Terrestrial invasion." He concluded by pleading that "funding must be addressed to equip world forces for issues pertaining to the undead."

Be sure to read the BBC's full report here.