Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Alba is whore!

Jessica Alba is upset because she's being typecast, because of the roles she's being offered. The Sin City actress is grateful for the opportunities she has been given in Hollywood - but would kill for the parts offered to rival actress Natalie Portman.

She said today: "The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid. I get all those screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.' Somehow, I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

No it isn't Jess, 'cos Portman can ACT. Now you just sit there and look beautiful, that's what your paid to do. Silly bint!

7 comments:

sith apologist said...

I think they (Hollywood) have realised that us slobbering males (the same ones cheering for Scarletts Gladiatrix role) would similarly enjoy a totally unnecessary Jessica Alba shower scene (with soap).
Not sure how she can avoid this problem short of picking roles carefully!

Cubaboy said...

Sorry now Private (I mean Colonel), but you defend the "acting" of Scarlett Johannson in one breath and decry the "abilities" of Jessica Alba. They're both hot but neither of them can act.

sith apologist said...

Maybe we should try and get a script going that features them both in the same shower scene?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

@ Cubaboy: Nay sir! Never have I, nor ever would I suggest that Ms.Johansson has acting talent. I simply implied that I would be agreeable to see her as a gladiatrix. Her acting "talent" is equal to Ms.Alba.

@ Sith Apologist: I'll call Mr.Vaughan now...

sith apologist said...

If Miss Alba is interested in my proposed script, then the Colonel can pass my number to her :)

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Idiot!! You're not supposed to tell people I have her number!!! Now everyone will want a peice of what I can get!!

sith apologist said...

Err ... yeah... thats right. The Colonel doesn't have her number.
What I meant was ... if she contacts HIM about my script, he can forward my number. He definetely doesn't have hers. Oh no.