Col. Ken Reusser a 3-War Vet 1920-2009

Colonel Kenneth L. Reusser, the most decorated US Marine Corps aviator in history and the only aviator to survive being shot down in all three wars of WWII, Korea and Vietnam, has died of natural causes at age 89.

Reusser flew 253 combat missions in World War II, Korea and Vietnam and was shot down five times in all. He earned 59 medals including two Navy Crosses, four Purple Hearts and two Legions of Merit, five Distinguished Flying Crosses, and nineteen Air Medals.

In 1945, while based in Okinawa, then Captain Reusser stripped down his F4U-4 Corsair fighter and intercepted a Japanese observation plane at a high altitude. When his guns froze, he flew his Corsair into the observation plane, hacking off its tail with his propeller.

In 1950 in Korea, then Major Reusser led an attack on a North Korean tank-repair facility at Inchon. In the face of fierce ground fire, he destroyed an oil storage facility. With his bombs and rockets expended, Maj. Reusser next attacked a camouflaged oil tanker at anchor in the harbor, raking it with his Corsair's 20 mm gunfire until the ship exploded, almost blowing him out of the air.

In Vietnam he served as commanding officer of Marine Aircraft Group 16, flying helicopters. He was leading a rescue mission when his Huey was shot down. He needed skin grafts over 35 percent of his burned body.

After retiring from the Marine Corps, he worked for Lockheed Aircraft and the Piasecki Helicopter Corp. He remained active in veterans groups. Col. Reusser died June 20 of natural causes in Oregon. He is survived by his wife, Trudy, and sons.

Sources: Stars & Stripes / Marine Corps Times

Children of the world rejoice...

... one of your Bogeymen is gone forever. Gone is the yelping, the unnecessary fingertip bandages and the jeweled gloves, even in the middle of summer.

Sam Fisher to come out of hiding!

Despite the multitude of serious bugs that Splinter Cell: Double Agent had upon it's release; Anticipation has not been dampened for the return of Sam Fisher in Tom Clancy / Ubisoft spy series . Since we last saw him, Sam has evading the authorities and gone "dark" - deep under-cover. Set two years after the events of Double Agent, he's now forced out of hiding to hunt down the drunk driver who killed his daughter, Sarah in the previous game. Sam's quest will once again take him globe-trotting to Malta and Washington DC in an effort to unravel the most-certain-to-be-conspiracy behind her death.

What makes this quite different from the previous entries in the series is that now Sam will not have the gadgets he has as a member of Third Echelon, a wing of the NSA. Now he has to procure makeshift items in the field or from a network of allies, as well as obtain weapons from downed enemies. For example, Sam can break off a car rear-view mirror and use it as a makeshift snake cam. While his familiar three-sensor night-vision goggles wont be a part of his arsenal, he may encounter enemies who have NV equipment

Conviction's creative director Max Beland said that the goal for the development team was to create the fantasy of being one of the world's best stealth operatives, without the slow pace that's usually associated with stealth games, including Splinter Cell. While using stealth and the shadows is still important, you can move faster than before with a more fluid animation system. For example, you will see Sam run, climb, drop, leap, and kill with a minimum of sound. He can now run up pipes and shimmy across ledges in record time.

One addition is a "mark and execute" feature [also seen in Rainbow Six: Vegas]; it allows you to identify targets before storming a room and eliminating them. Instead of assigning their death to a teammate, Sam will have to do the dirty work by himself. By marking targets beforehand, he will auto-aim and fire once you issue the command. You will need line of sight to shoot targets, and you can not only select people but also interactive objects, such as lights, barrels, or traps.

Due to the personal nature of the mission, Sam's attitude is more aggressive and desperate this time around. This is demonstrated through interrogations. You can grab people by the throat or put them in a headlock and proceed to beat the information out of them. Depending on the circumstances, Sam can either knock them out or kill them outright, doing even Jack Bauer proud :)

The final feature revealed was "last known position." When an enemy breaks line of sight with you, a "ghost" of Sam will be superimposed into the environment to indicate where that enemy last saw you. Sam will be able to use it as a tool for escape, it will aid in creating an ambush while the enemy makes a beeline to your last known position. Conviction has eschewed the light meter for allowing the environment itself to indicate your visibility level. When Sam is exposed, everything will appear in full-colour; but when hidden in the shadows, it will all turn to grayscale. In this mode, objects still in colour are interactive--such as a chandelier that you can use to kill multiple guards.

Players seeking an immersive experience will be pleased to know there are no lengthy cutscenes or loading screens in Conviction. Instead, everything is presented to you through the game's engine. Ubisoft has taken a cinematic approach, and in-game text will be projected onto the world itself, such as buildings (for example, "infiltrate the mansion"), or roads. Fans of Fringe will be familiar with this technique. Video updates will also be projected in front of you. The videos seem to represent a mental projection of Sam's thoughts, including information on suspects and flashbacks of Sarah's death.

Michael Ironside will return to voice the ageing agent and Splinter Cell: Conviction is an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and PC and is currently due to ship in October.

Source: Gamespot

Has Obama Declared War On Bugs?

UNETIDA was placed on it's highest alert level Wednesday when it was learned that President Barack Obama personally slew a rogue fly in The White House.

UNETIDA Commander - Air Vice Marshal “Albatross” Davenport flew to Washington DC. Wednesday to meet with the US Joint Chiefs Of Staff concerning the President's recent actions during an interview for CNBC where the he had threatened, assaulted and subsequently murdered a Musca domestica or Common Housefly, and then gloated about it.

“Basically, I had to be sure that the US wasn’t going to single handedly wage war on the flies” AVM Davenport said following the meeting. He said that UNETIDA does have a degree of autonomy but The UN Security Council must authorise their actions on a global scale. “President Obama’s somewhat reckless actions had us poised for war, should any of the insectiod races chosen to retaliate against any of us, ...and by any - I mean literally anyone! We don’t know if those blighters recognise our geopolitical divisions, they could take out whatever country was facing them at the time depending on the rotation of the planet. There’s no knowing how close, we came or even if the danger is passed. What if the fly was an ambassador or a peace envoy? We’d be rightly stuffed!”

“Annoyed? You bet your goddamn ass I’m annoyed” responded Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, UNETIDA's Special Operations Commander as he prepared his men, when asked if he was annoyed about the sudden mobilization of his unit due to Barack Obama’s new-found killer instinct. “But not pissed at my at my CinC for growing a pair as big as mine! No, I’m annoyed at these PETA morons for revealing that we possess “non lethal” methods of dealing with Bugs and that there is a section of human society that is prepared to use these devices willingly. Hellshit! The last impression we want to give our potential insect overlords is that we’re weak and faggoty about dealing with their threat and don’t wanna harm ‘em. Screw that! They’re gonna to get a subscription to a new broadsheet “The Daily Dose of Death” and I’m the Delivery Dude! Oorah!!!”

In a related note, Lt. Colonel “Dingo” Stuart, UNETIDA Asst. Director of Intelligence, has been given an assignment to detect any agency reporting the missing/damaged status of one of these.

Here is the video which is now being beamed into space and could anger those watching... from afar...

Chi bi - Red Cliff: John Woo's greatest achievement

I always thought that one of the great signs of the apocalypse would be when my 5 favourite directors would craft a historically set epic. Cameron made Titanic, Bay made Pearl Harbor, Verhoven made Black Book and now Woo has directed this Red Cliff leaving only Tony Scott to stave off the end of the world single handedly.

I was honestly not expecting anything like this; yes I knew this was going to be epic, clocking in at the best part of 2.5 hours [cut down from the original 2-part 4.5 hour arse-numbing Chinese version], but I thought maybe along the lines of The Curse Of The Golden Flower or Hero and I also thought it was going to be Woo's attempt at an "Oscar type" movie. However I think I may have prejudged it a bit too quickly. This movie wouldn't win Ocsars because it's just too good, not a heaps of shit like they've been giving the golden statue to for the past 10 years. No, this is a brutal war movie, with lo-and-behold- a plot! Yes! A well crafted and properly written and thought out plot, not just filler to tie a host of spectacularly choreographed gun-ballet slow-mo dove-infested action sequences together! I was as shocked to discover this as you are reading it. But does this departure from the Woo-norm detract from the experience you expect from a Woo-movie? No. In fact I'd go as far as saying that it enhances it.

The movie is set set in 208 A.D., in the final days of the Han Dynasty. Emperor Han's Prime Minster- Cao Cao, convinced him that the only way to unite all of China was to declare war on the kingdoms of Xu in the West and East Wu in the south. A military campaign of unprecedented scale began, commanded by Cao Cao, himself. Left with no other hope for survival, Liu Bei of Xu and Zhou Yu, Viceroy of East Wu formed an alliance to defeat the plans of Cao Cao to both gain dominion over them and usurp the throne of Emperor Han. Red Cliff is where the final battle was fought changing the course of Chinese history forever.

I'll be putting a copy of Red Cliff on my shelf with the likes of Glory, Gladiator, The Last Samurai and Brotherhood as the finest examples of modern epics in movie history. Despite this being a "respectable" movie, however- it still retains the John Woo staple elements: A generous use of slow-motion, not the excessive bullet-time but just enough to show us the diverse expert fighting styles and weapons of the different generals fighting in the war. [Note: soldiers don't get any slow-mo unless being slaughtered or dismembered by the generals, and there are a lot of generals hanging about Red Cliff :)]. At the very end of the movie there is a Mexican Stand-Off, but instead of pistols and assault rifles [as this is in 208AD] we get swords and bows and arrows and the tension is even greater than normal. Finally we have a dove. An impossibly white sometimes CGI dove.

While the cast did a more than adequate job, but in order to have achieved the faultless rating, the original casting for the 3 main characters would've had to have been in place. The notable absence of Chow Yun-Fat was felt; he was to appear as Zhou Yu [and so Tony Leung would have played the strategist Zhuge Liang instead], but Chow's contract had 73 clauses that the movie's insurance company could not reconcile. The excellent Ken Wanatabe was to portray Cao Cao, but due to protestations of a Japanese actor being hired to play a prominent Chinese historical figure, Zhang Fengyi was cast instead.

I think personally, my favourite John Woo movie will always be Hard Boiled, but there isn't a shadow of a doubt that Red Cliff is easily his greatest achievement and is possibly enough to forgive him for some of his dodgy US movie choices. As an old friend of mine, Lo Wang once said: "Be proud, Mr. Woo!" and for this, more than anything else he has crafted - he can.

Final Verdict: If you've been unhappy with the more recent modern epics like Kingdom Of Heaven, Flags Of Our Fathers and Alexander; you don't mind reading 2.5 hours of subtitles and you don't squirm at the sight of flowing blood; then this is for you. One stuntman died and others were seriously injured to make this what it is and it's well worth the human life lost.

Colonel Creedon Rating *****

Official Site / IMDB [Part 1] [Part2] / Wikipedia

Why I despise the liberal media

This is a joke [thanks Bruce], but the idea is based on countless examples of fact...

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."

The biker replies, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

The reporter says, "Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?"

The biker replies, "I'm a US Marine and a Republican."

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

Alien Bugs attempt to kill German Boy [14]

UNETIDA scientists in Dresden, Germany have been studying a small meteorite that crashed to Earth in the German city of Essen and allegedly struck a schoolboy. The event was set upon by the press on Friday including The Daily Mail, Sky News, The BBC but it's not until it appears on Fox News "does the Special Operations Division of UNETIDA take notice," affirmed Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, the divisions commanding officer, in Germany today.

"Taken at face value, the news story that has been circulated is very disturbing," said The Colonel. "It's not too far fetched to assume that this is just a test strike by the Alien Bugs of the planet Klendathu. They could start with something small like this but eventually could send ones big enough to take out Buenos Aires."

Creedon also expressed concern that any human being that could have survived a direct hit from a meteorite travelling at such tremendous speed, may not in fact be human at all. "What the hell could he be? Superboy! That's all we need now another Kryptonian obliterating real-estate," said The Colonel who promptly entered a Humvee and was driven away.

Discover Magazine has an online blog entry which, although does not debunk the essence of what happened, it points out the lack of some of the most fundamental understanding of science in the original news articles.

GBU-57A/B Massive Ordnance Penetrator

The USAF recently announced that they are going to buy an arsenal of a new precision-guided bunker buster, the GBU-57A/B Massive Ordnance Penetrator [MOP]. This is a 30,000-pound bomb which will be incorporated into the B-2A bomber fleet. Manufactured by Boeing, they are designed to destroy any bunker buried under ground.

While I'm not worried, [they'll not be used against me, after all] Kim Jong-Il, Osama Bin Laden or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should be, as where ever they're hiding, or run to hide when these start dropping will no doubt be obliterated come June 2012 when the weapon will reach operational status.

The GPS-guided MOP has a 2.7 metric ton high explosive warhead, and can penetrate 60 meters of 5,000 psi reinforced concrete, 8m of 10,000 psis reinforced concrete, or 40m of moderately hard rock.

Fuckin-A!

Source: The Whitehouse, Gizmodeo,Wikipedia

No Salvation for Terminator

Many closed-minded individuals had already made up their mind about Terminator: Salvation long before the cameras rolled. It was the strange and certainly controversial choice as director, one Joseph McGinty Nichol, better known to the world as McG, Commanding General of the stupid Hollywood nickname brigade. His Charlie’s Angels movies are fun and entertaining [and are both on my DVD shelf] and Chuck, which he produces for NBC Television is loved by all who watch it. Both, while rich in action, are infused with a level of humour which he has extracted from his writers and performers to make those projects work for what they are. Terminator, on the other hand is rightly devoid of almost any humour whatsoever and McG is too unqualified and inexperienced to direct what is essentially a serious production; he's is a one-trick pony and Terminator and movies like it are not his trick.

Does that mean this movie is complete shit? No, quite far from it, but neither is it a worthy sequel to James Cameron’s seminal work. This is a superb action movie; it has guns, explosions, outstanding production design, and a host of never seen before Terminators, Skynet machines and defence-systems which flesh out the whole Terminator lore more than adequately. It will thrill most action-seeking cinemagoers [assuming you live in this part of the world where it’s been far more successful than stateside for some bizarre reason] and delivers a satisfactory experience. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for die-hard Terminator fans, but I’ll get back to that.
The acting is very mixed. On one hand we have Christian Bale as John Connor, who despite being an amazing actor – somehow appears beyond wooden here, I’d even go so far as saying he’s beyond even real wood – he’s like MDF or something – he’s that bad! I almost burst out laughing at one point when he’s after surviving a helicopter attack and an assault from a T-600 and the radio crackles into life to which Connor responds “Here!”, but it’s not “Here!” as you or I would say it, even out of breath with serious bruising or whatever; no, Bale delivers the word like an acutely constipated Batman who’s been winded by a Scotsman’s saber to the chest. The amount of projection he infuses into almost each line is staggering and far more distracting than his permanently-choking Dark Knight – it’s ridiculous. Add to that, the insanity of casting Michael Ironside, who talks like that normally!!! [Hang on didn’t Ironside play a resistance leader who was also prepared to sacrifice prisoners for the good of the mission in a certain Alien invasion TV show in the mid-80’s?]

Thankfully, John Connor is only half the movie. The better half is Sam Worthington, whom Cameron has also bagged for Avatar, as Marcus- who as you’ll know from the spoiler-ridden movie trailers is a highly advanced Terminator – who thinks, nay – believes- he’s human. This man single handedly saves this film from shitsville despite the character making absolutely no sense at all in the grand scheme of the Terminator timeline. It’s an incredible irony. Another casting decision I must wholeheartedly agree with is giving the role of Kate Connor to the one true Goddess Bryce Dallas Howard who [has achieved #1 status in Whoppers Hotlist 2009. If only I could make a cream out of her and rub it all over my naked body] despite being somewhat underused she lights up the screen when on it.

The best accolades you’ll find bestowed on Terminator: Salvation in reference to how good a Terminator movie it is will be that is that it is about as good if not better than Johnathan Mostow’s Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines. What’s different in McG’s vision is that people are not just running around in blind panic [practically everyone in the movie is a hardened vet]. I don’t suppose you can have that going on for a two-hour movie and not have it labeled as survival-horror, a notoriously saturated genre today. However the essence of Terminator is “the chase” and “the suspense,” it is still possible in this setting, but McG just doesn’t deliver. It seems like he thought that if Cameron did one better than Alien with the vastly superior Aliens by changing the “threat” of the Alien by having more of them rather than just one powerful one- that he could do the same with Terminator. The problem was that Cameron made it work, but McG and his crew did not. Even Danny Elfman who composed an adequate score- did not use Brad Fiedel's Terminator theme, something T3 composer Marco Beltrami knew was an essential part of the essence of his movie but there's nothing familiar here either now.

I was very impressed with the art direction, namely the ruined L.A. and there are some amazing technical achievements in this movie, not least of which is an outstanding CGI rendition of Ahnold as the original T-800 prototype. Sadly after spending a colossal amount of money on this sequence, McG completely bollixed up by assassinating the character of a Terminator – he had the T-800 toy with his prey by throwing him off ledges, up against surfaces and all sorts of crazy shit instead of grabbing them and rending them limb from limb or crushing the throat. A Terminator terminates – full stop, there’s no game, there’s no playing, a Terminator doesn’t soften up its victim – this was bad writing – it would have been much better to show the T-800 emerging from its cocoon or whatever and start eliminating the fleeing prisoners and approaching- but never catching John Connor until the last moment when Marcus would step in or something; a lost opportunity – that would’ve created tension and we’d see a load of people die horribly. That was something else this movie lacked too; the 12PG rating meant little in the way of the horrific deaths we should have seen with blood, dismemberment, bullet impacts etc. It was all just a bit too sanitized. There’s a reason why the original is so loved 25 years on – it’s R-Rated.
While it’s unfair to equate the Terminator franchise with the Batman franchise of the 90’s, it would seem that once again an unpopular director has been responsible with a loss of confidence in the brand. I think it may be better for Fox now to forget about a T5 and wait and attempt to do exactly what Warner did for Batman, what Paramount did for Star Trek and what Sony did for James Bond and that is to wait a while and just do a reboot for the new generation. We can wait 10 years if it’ll be done right.

Final Verdict: This is a great action movie but not such a good Terminator movie. While I’m positive that McG is not a bad director, he was just totally the wrong director for the serious, bleak subject matter.

Colonel Creedon Rating ***1/2

Official Site / Wikipedia / IMDB

A Delightful Invitation

Picture: Bruce Russell

Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando

Dr. Steven T. Colbert DFA has travelled to Baghdad, Iraq to record 4 episodes of his show, The Colbert Report in the domed marble hall of Saddam Hussein's former Al Faw Palace now at the US Military's Camp Victory. The satirical "conservative" pundit wearing a suit fashioned from the US Army's ACU camouflage pattern, declared victory in the war in Iraq.

General Ray Odierno, commander of US Forces in Iraq declined to agree, "We're not quite ready to declare victory," he said. "Things are moving forward but again, it's about bringing long-term stability." Colbert, who sat at a desk propped up by sandbags painted to simulate an American flag, responded by asking Odierno if he can bring long-term stability to the United States when he's done in Iraq.

Interestingly, Colbert sought to cast a spotlight on the declining attention paid to the war that has waged since 2003. He has said he was spurred to make the trip when he noticed economic news coverage eclipsing reports from Baghdad.

Colbert's arrival in Iraq ended weeks of intense online speculation of just where in the Persian Gulf he was headed after viewers were fed some vague clues in the form of codes randomly appearing on episodes of his late night talk show and even being obviously helped by the master of coded messages himself Lost creator J.J.Abrams. Colbert showed a clip claiming he himself didn't know his destination until he got off the plane and somebody threw a shoe at him.

The highlight of the show however was that Gen. Odierno accepted a videotaped order from President Obama and proceeded to shear Colbert's hair off starting with an electric razor and a stylist appearing to finish off his crew-cut. The still not-so-irrelevant former Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain also made a video-clip appearance in which he thanked the troops for their service and reminded them to clean their muskets.

Celebrities have frequently traveled to Iraq to entertain the troops. But the series of half-hour shows mark the first time anyone has broadcast a taped non-news talk show fully produced and broadcast from Iraq as part of a U.S.O. tour.

The show airs this week on Comedy Central Mon-Thu 23:30 /22:30C US Time but sadly has been removed from the current UK schedule and no "officially" available.

Visit The Colbert Nation for additional news.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Exclusive - Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf - Iraq Announcement
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Keyboard Cat

Sources: Comedy Central, The New York Times, Associated Press, Constance

D-Day + 65 years

On June 6, 1944, In what remains the biggest amphibious assault in history, some 156,000 Allied personnel landed in France in an effort to free Europe from the Nazis. An estimated 10,000 Allied troops were left dead, wounded or missing. Now with most aged 85 or more; this may be the last time large numbers of ex-servicemen can attend D-Day ceremonies.

British PM Gordon Brown, Prince Charles, US President Barack Obama, Canadian PM Steven Harper and French President Nicolas Sarkozy attended a major commemoration event at the Normandy America cemetery, Colleville-sur-Mer on the 65th Anniversary of D-Day and a remembrance service at Bayeux Cathedral, Bayeux for British veterans to remember those who fought and died in the Normandy landings.

"At an hour of maximum danger, amid the bleakest of circumstances, men who thought themselves ordinary found within themselves the ability to do something extraordinary," President Obama said. "Had the Allies failed here, Hitler's occupation of this continent might have continued indefinitely."

Mr Brown said: "As long as freedom lives their debts will never die." He said it was an "honour" to speak for the British people on this day which marks the "triumph of right over wrong, truth over lies, the victory of human decency over hatred and the Holocaust". Brown said Europe and America were allies "not for a season but for centuries" and added: "In June 1944 in this place and at that moment Europe and America came closer together than at any time and any country."

A total of 9,387 US servicemen are buried at Colleville's American Cemetery, 307 whose names are unknown. Their resting place overlooks Omaha beach, the last and toughest beach to capture on D-Day. Among veterans and their families were WWII hero and Senator, Bob Dole and Tom Hanks who starred in the film Saving Private Ryan which dramatises the horror of the Omaha landing.

Obituary: David Carradine 1936-2009

The entertainment world was shocked yesterday at news of the sudden death of one of its more memorable actors, David Carradine [72].

The Golden Globe-nominated and Saturn Award winning star was discovered dead hanging from a curtain rope within a closet in a Bangkok hotel room by a maid. He was well known for many roles, but most recently for playing Bill in Quentin Tarantino's hit Kill Bill movies.

Born John Arthur Carradine in 1936, he began an illustrious acting career on Broadway before becoming most widely known for the 1970s TV series Kung-Fu where he played the main character Kwai Chang "Grasshopper" Caine for 60 episodes for which he was nominated for a Prime-Time Emmy. He later reprised the role for 88 episodes of a spin-off - Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues. He also had roles in the epic mini-series North and South and made guest appearances on Airwolf, Alias and Charmed. Among his more memorable movie roles are Frankenstein in Death Race 2000 [1975], Rawley Wilkes in Lone Wolf McQuade with Chuck Norris [1983], Sorenson in Bird On A Wire with Mel Gibson [1990] and he did a voiceover for the re-imagined version of Frankenstein in the 2008 Death Race movie. His final film role was recently reviewed here was as Poon Dong, the bizarre, aged head of a Chinese Triad gang.

Carradine's family, friends and manager have expressed disbelief at claims he killed himself which was the initial Police assumption. His Kill Bill co-star Vivica Fox said: "I would have never, ever thought that he would kill himself. I find that to be almost unbelievable that he hung himself. He did not seem like the person that would take his own life. It just seems so out of character." Some have even speculated that the martial arts hero may have been a victim of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Some reports, as yet unconfirmed, have stated that in addition to having a rope tied around his neck, there was also a rope tied around his genitals.

CCTV cameras do not show anyone entering or leaving the hotel room and the door was locked from inside according to police. Further complicating the matter would is this excerpt from a 2004 interview:

"There was a period in my life when I had a single action Colt 45, loaded, in my desk drawer. And every night I'd take it out and think about blowing my head off, and then decide not to and go on with my life."

Carradine leaves behind his 5th wife, three children and a considerable body of work for which he will be remembered. May he rest in peace.

Kung-fU - David Carradine KungFu

Lets hope they're not sorry...

V trailer

ABC's V remake may actually be good, according to some reports I've read from people who were test-audiences of the pilot. Like this one I saw on AICN:

"the CGI, at times, looks cheesy, but for the most part, this is a very expensive looking pilot with some beautiful shots of the interior of the motherships. It looks like a cross between a big budget Hollywood blockbuster and a high-concept TV show; the limited budget is obvious, but far better than anything else on TV. ... It does what pilots are supposed to do: provide a good core of lead characters, establish the storyline, and leave the viewer wanting more."

Source: AICN

The Onion on Star Trek

If ever there was a reason to justify today's broadband speeds to people still on dial-up [yes they do exist] it's the video content now produced by America's Finest News Source - The Onion.

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Trailer CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2

COD4 was awarded the prestigious Whopper Award for best video game last year. Now, riding on the coat-tails of such an auspicious accolade, is this new trailer for the game's sure-to-be-a-hit sequel.

I was going to explain what I was doing for the past week. I have to deny I was anywhere near Pakistan, North Korea or an unnamed South Pacific island, but I won't deny I was up to the very shenanigans depicted here...

STAR TREK is resurrected!

*** No Spoilers ***

While not regarded as the pinnacle of science-fiction itself; the original series of Star Trek has always been heralded as great television and inspired one of first and largest cult followings ever. As it was created before the age of digital technology [hell, it was created practically before what we now refer to as technology], when one looks at it now, it can now look and feel incredibly dated. The fondness Star Trek inspires throughout all who grew up with it, or discovered it later in life is easy to explain: The original series continued longevity [some of which carried over into later incarnations, but not to the same extent], is owed in most part- not necessarily to the quality of it's plots, special effects, "futuristic" technology or even it's vaunted Utopian vision of our future - although those all do play some roles, no - it is in fact the dynamic relationship between "the big three" characters, Capt. James T. Kirk, Mr. Spock and Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy.

Captain Kirk was the quintessential hero, brave, brash and never afraid at just shooting at his problems. Spock was the antithesis of this, eminently logical, a voice of reason a perfect foil to Kirk's gung-ho attitude. Dr. McCoy was a gel that held them together, passionate and compassionate adding a touch of reality to the situation. This dynamic was at the core of all the best episodes of the series and the better of the six movies that featured them. While the writers can claim some credit for this, it was the actors themselves, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and the late DeForest Kelley that breathed the true life into the characters.

When J.J.Abrams, a somewhat controversial choice for a director of a proposed new Star Trek movie, was hired to rejuvenate the dead franchise after the damage caused by Rick Berman and the complete failure of the final two Next Generation movies toppled the Trek house of cards prematurely bringing the brilliant Enterprise series to an end; it sent ripples of discord throughout Star Trek fandom. Even worse was that Abrams intended to swim naked through a sacred pool – the pool from which the original series itself was spawned and - shock-horror recast Kirk, Spock, Bones and the crew with new young actors and touch on the character's Starfleet Academy days.

Not long after it went into pre-production Abrams "came out" by admitting he wasn't a Trekkie. The Internet came alive with chatter, there were angry cries, forum-wars, letter campaigns and suicide bombers* all with Abrams in their sights! Even in my own circle of friends, a circle constructed almost entirely of Trekkies, some were simple naysayers or those that were convinced that Abrams would "rape their childhood"**. I on the other hand, was delighted. If someone was to revitalise this dead franchise, it was someone with the drive, ambition and vision of J.J. Abrams and I'd have chosen him over Straczynski or Whedon any day of the week***. Sure he's produced a whole of of shite in his day like Felicity, Six Degrees, Cloverfield but I loved Alias [well the earlier seasons], I think Fringe is coming together as one of the better shows on TV now and you know what I thought of his feature film directorial debut- Mission Impossible 3 [I was "too late" to watch Lost - perhaps some day...] and all I asked was that people trust my judgement that it'll be Fuckin' - A, but some still weren't convinced even after seeing the trailers.

I'm delighted to say, that after seeing the movie, no less than 4 ardent naysayers [I'm still waiting on a few others] have contacted me to directly apologise for doubting [Brian ran across a busy road, almost getting nailed by a bus to prostrate himself at my feet begging for absolution****]. Whether it was doubting my judgement or J.J.'s ability, I was right, I always am - it's a blessing but also a curse. Almost riding on a celestial manifestation of my supreme confidence in J.J. Abrams - Star Trek is a hit, world over earning almost $150m domestically [please correct this in the comments if you've an updated figure], he got the most important thing right, the characters - specifically Kirk, Spock and Bones who have been born to a new generation of fans embodied by Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto and Karl Urban respectively. They are quite different but yet so familiar - I was truly impressed.

Most of the remainder of the aspects of what J.J. created exceeded even my own expectations, which were pretty high. The standard of the rest of the cast was extraordinary, especially Bruce Greenwood as Captain Pike. The quality of effects were outstanding from the opening shots of the destruction of the USS Kelvin to the parting shot of the reimagined Enterprise. Michael Giacchino provided an enchanting, sublime and perfect score. A dynamic, faithful and of course humorous [when it had to be] screenplay was borne magnificently by all players.

There are three issues however, which detract from the experience, denying it a coveted *****+ rating.
A very minor contention is Abrams' direction; there was a few too many lens-flares [something which he admitted himself], a bit too much shakey-cam and his characters were filmed at some very odd angles and inconsistently framed - I'm not blaming the DP for any of these, this is all J.J. - 5-Star producer 3?-Star director.
Something else that was a bit distracting was that Simon Pegg, while extremely funny, is not and will never be Scotty; everyone else turned themselves into their character but Pegg has turned Scotty into, well - Simon Pegg. I love the guy on screen but he's so wrong here - I'm wishing they went with Paul McGillion instead for Scotty and give a rewritten TFHC [Totally Fuckin' Hilarious Cameo] instead to Pegg as the Starfleet Academy barracks officer in McGillion's place. Sorry Simon, there was enough humour injected into this already without you trying to out-funny Star Trek IV.
Oh and finally, the plot was complete nonsense, but that's never bothered me too much :p

This Star Trek ranks below Star Trek II and on par with Star Trek VI. But comparing it to existing Trek movies is not entirely fair as it's so different. I went into this film with an open mind. There was a time when I would have yelled "heresy" myself at seeing uniforms / insignia / ship designs / technology that were out of alignment with established canon and would be forced to write letters into the Star Trek magazine explaining why these things are. But now to me, they're just all part of some new incredible background art. They're not important to be right or "Star Trek real", it's just important that they look good on screen and should be a problem only for the art director. So leave your cannon at the door people and accept this for what it is - a reboot, but with added Nimoy :)

A sequel is not only confirmed - they started writing in March. But anything can happen now: Antino Banderas as Kahn? The Mirror Universe? The City On The Edge of Forever with Megan Fox in Joan Collins' role? Or give everyone what they always dreamed - Kirk eradicates the entire Borg Collective from history after handing Q his own ass - BOOYAH! Yes my friends - the sky's the limit...

Final Verdict: Wheather you're a die-hard Trekkie or you wonder why a pediatrician is in a Sci-Fi movie, you should still see Star Trek- it's designed, built and was launched as a blockbuster to shatter the Final Frontier of Star Trek movies eschewing the edicts of standard canon to bring Trek itself where no fan has gone before: into a cinema with non-fans. Trust me. You'll like it.

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Official Site / IMDB / Wikipedia

*Artisic exaggeration.
** OK, None of them actually said that quote, but I read it a lot when reading about Michael Bay and George Lucas and it's time Abrams had it associated with his name now after what he's accomplished. Think of it as a badge of honour.
***Did you see the later Babylon 5 "movies" did you see Firefly - those creators were considered for Trek? Hell no!
**** There was no traffic at that moment and he didn't actually kneel

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Snikt!

*** Contains Spoilers ***

I hate reviewing films like this, where there's so much good in it and in an equal measure on the flip-side there's so much wrong with the bloody thing that they cancel each other out. I hate to use the Iron Man benchmark here because this movie would never be anywhere in Shellhead's league, but the movies are similar in which they draw upon source material from Marvel Comics to create original origins for movie characters. In the case of Iron Man, this was done properly, it was unique to the movie, but faithful to the characters and original plot elements from 40 years of history. In the case of Wolverine it was in some part accurate but a butchered mess in equal measure.

This is a character driven movie as opposed to the borderline sci-fi FX-heavy X-Men trilogy so it's more important to have the characters believable [as much a mutant immortal can be] and somewhat faithful to the way they've already been presented - this is not an alternate reality - this should be the origin of characters we've seen already, but some 17? years earlier than the X-Men trilogy.

On the plus side we have Hugh Jackman, beefed up, all feral and already established as the Wolverine / James / Logan character from the X-Men movies to the effect that we can't imagine anyone else in the role, he really is great to watch and his star-power is obvious. The problems I have with the movie all stem from the rest of the cast.

Yeah I can be a fan-boy, but I'm prepared to ignore differences between the movie and the comic book, like Logan being a half-brother of Victor, Logan being old enough to have fought in the American Civil War, Agent Zero being Korean and not German etc., hell the comic book's own histories and origins vary so wildly out of control I can't blame them for tweaking it but you can't make such radical character changes between here and the three films of it's own main franchise...

- We have Liev Schreiber, who always impresses me and I think it's a shame that he's not given great roles [this year's Defiance, being an exception] but despite putting in some awesome gym-time for the part; this attempt at Victor / Sabretooth, Wolverine's arch-nemesis is not it. Why give Victor any such meat to his role when he had already been established by pro-wrestler Tyler Mane as a barbarian vegetable. Sure, have them trading machismo quips but Sabretooth should dwarf Wolverine period. Were there no wrestler-wannabe-actors available? Schreiber would have served better as Col. Stryker, a role which he originally negotiated for.

- Danny Huston, again an excellent actor with good roles recently in How To Loose Friends and Alienate People and 30 Days Of Night. Unfortunately he delivers nowhere near the performance of Brian Cox as Colonel Stryker, I know they couldn't de-ageify Cox because if they couldn't do it properly for 10 seconds with Paddy Stewart as Prof. X at the end of this movie, what hope could they have with Cox? But there was just too much lacking in Huston's somewhat controlled and subdued performance. The sad thing is Cox wanted to do it! Who says no to Brian Cox?
-It was chronologically essential that they cast a much younger actor for Scott / Cyclops, but there was no reason for inexplicably changing his power from his trademark concussive blast to heat vision like fuckin' Superman!
-Another plus to this movie was having Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, the wisecracking "Merc with a mouth," - until they take his mouth away! [this travesty automatically took one star from the movie because it was so fuckin' dumb-ass]. It's been confirmed Reynolds will have his own Deadpool movie in the future and hopefully they'll ignore most of this shit origin for him - oh he's alive because a "stinger" scene after the credits shows him putting his head back on... WTF???!!!
-At least Taylor Kitsch's Gambit was pretty good, although I never really followed/liked the character but maybe he'll get his own movie too?

There are some good aspects to the movie; the fight scenes and the action were well done and I can't fault them for being as good as any other example of the best movies of this genre. The Weapon X [I'll have to get used to saying "Weapon Ten" now in speech] sequences were not as "bloody" as Wolverine's flashbacks in the X-Men movies, but were done adequately [this is objected to by Vaughan who ranted for 10 minutes about why Logan should have been naked in the tank and have tubes attached to his orifices and one of the scientists screaming something about there being semen in the tube - I honestly don't know what the fuck type of movie he was expecting]. Harry Gregson-Williams produced a quality musical score in a style with which he usually scores his action movies and is therefore going on my iPod.

There is just one ultimate question I have about this movie, no it's not where did Scott Sommers get those glasses for his sight before he met Prof. X? How did the "endgame" Deadpool bend his arms if he was concealing two full length katana blades in them? Where did a Humvee and all those LCD & Plasma screens come from if the movie is set at most in the early 1980's? INo none of those, my real question is: What is the point of this movie? The Wolverine / Sabretooth relationship was never carried over into the trilogy other than some grunted animosity when they met but there was no recognition from either of them - was Sabretooth's memory wiped too? How? When? We know from X2 that Stryker had a hand in what was done to Wolverine but we didn't know what exactly or why. In the end it just wasn't that important to the audience with many I'm sure preferring the mystery of Wolverine's origin to this somewhat bland rendition and even causes the effect of making the character less interesting.

Final Verdict: Great action, excellent performance from Jackman, but Schreiber and Huston were miscast. Ultimately unnecessary tale which could easily have been shoehorned into the first 30 minutes or so of a better story with half the amount of characters. Stay home from the cinema but see it on DVD if you must.

Colonel Creedon Rating: **1/2

Official Site / IMDB / Wilkipedia

A sequel to Wolverine has been confirmed and according to early speculation it will focus on Chris Claremont and Frank Miller's account of Wolverine's time in Japan with The Silver Samurai and Lady Deathstrike which sounds far more exciting than this.