Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Holy Crap! What's Next: A ban on Grenades because they could explode?

Members of the U.S. Armed Forces may soon find that they aren't allowed one of life's simple pleasures for defending their country.

Health "experts" at the Pentagon are pressing SECDEF Gates to ban the use of tobacco by troops and end its sale on military installations, according to a report in USA Today. The report says Gates will be advised to adopt proposals by a federal study that cites rising tobacco use and higher costs for the Pentagon and the Department of Veterans Affairs as reasons for the ban. The VA and the Pentagon requested the study, which found that troops worn out by repeated deployments often rely on cigarettes as a "stress reliever." The study also found that tobacco use in the military rose after the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan began.

The study recommends requiring new officers and enlisted personnel to be tobacco-free, eliminating tobacco use on military installations, ships and aircraft, expanding treatment programs and eliminating the sale of tobacco on military property. The Institute of Medicine study recommends a phased-in ban over a period of perhaps up to 20 years.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon [right] was one officer apalled by the recommendations. "First we had a ban on Cubans, the best cigars on the planet and now they want us to give up all of them? Who's insane f&%ked up idea was that?" Creedon is well known for lighting up while leading his men into battle. "..of course they draw enemy fire at night - that's what makes life so godammn exhilirating! Hooyaa!"

Kenneth Kizer, a committee member and architect of California's anti-tobacco program points out that the Commander in Chief, President Obama, could set an example for all the military by ending his own smoking habit once and for all...

Read all about it at USA Today.

7 comments:

vaughan said...

As a non smoker myself all I can say is...."ARE THEY FRICKIN STUPID!!!!" I hate cigarettes (but bizarrely don't mind the smell of a good cigar or pipe) but banning cigarettes??? especially in a combat zone I would like to see how the anti smoking lobby would cope with the potential of being blown up by the taliban ...they'd probably think they could discuss all their differences over a nice plate of hummus....cigarettes are a drug yes but they do help in high tension zones or would they rather what the Afghan army troops do and smoke Marijuana and go into combat High...which western troops really appreciate (sarcasm)

Alro said...

"Creedon is well known for lighting up while leading his men into battle." Shouldn't that read "Creedon is well known for lighting up while sending his men into battle." :)

civilian Overseer said...

Think of the men that the Colonel will now be forced to execute without a last cigarette!

vaughan said...

update:

Prehaps because of the impassioned plea the Colonel made , the U.S military have announced they will not...repeat not be banning cigarettes or tobacco....considering it a step too far for troops under fire and also mentioning the fact that the smoking soldier is an image of the American hero.

Civilian Overseer said...

Because of that impassioned plea and because of all the dirt that the Colonel has on the military's top brass.

Never go drinking with a man who brings a camera with him on a night out, especially when the night out is in Hanoi.

vaughan said...

Ah I can see the this is your life now...

"aha great story there about gunning down yer own men! Now tell me me Whopper do you recognise this voice?"

"Me Love you lonnnnng time!"

Civilian Overseer said...

I'm like an Anti Eamonn Andrews. This is your Life, well, at least the parts that you'd rather forget... ;)