Sunday, November 11, 2007

30 Days Of Night: "Glorious use of a tractor-mounted log-cutter!"

30 Days of Night is based another graphic novel of the same name. This one is about a Vampire attack on a small town. It's not a bog-standard Vampire flick/Survival horror story, this is actually frightening, something good 'ol Hollywood hasn't produced in many years. Josh Black Hawk Down Hartnett and Melissa Alias George are the protagonists, who along with a number of townsfolk are trapped in a town in Northern Alaska that experiences a month of perpetual darkness once a year.

Darkness is of course something that Vampires love and these are some of the most vicious Vampires you've ever seen on screen, none of that Buffy/Blade/Underworld silliness here - these are the real-deal. Highly intelligent, evil to the core and possessing an undying thirst for blood and lots of it!

This brings me to the ultimately satisfying level of gore and sheer violence in this movie. It was above my expectations; A pleasant welcome surprise in the form of head-crushing, beheading, dismemberment and glorious use of a tractor- mounted log cutter all contributed the movie's high rating. One particular scene involved a small seven-year-old girl (who had been turned) being on the receiving end of a large axe - magnificent.

Director David Slade abandoned some of the basic rules: not killing children and dogs. He did however present a wonderful Chekhov's gun in the form of a automated trash compactor with giant chomping jaws moving at lightening speed, Heh heh heh! Special mention should go to actor Ben Foster for cementing his "Deranged Psycho" typecasting as previously demonstrated in Hostage and 3:10 to Yuma.

Final Verdict: These Vampires Suck!!! Muahahahaha geddit? THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO!!!

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****


Anonymous said...

Sounds like something I'll have to leave herself at home for, Which I susually have to do for your 5-Star movies.

Anonymous said...

I suppose thats why I'd prefer to be a Werewolve, they maul. Whereas for my good friend the Lt.Col, preference is for sucking.

Bruce Russell said...

Werewolves are pretty much powerless most of the month, tho', whereas vampies keep on to the break of dawn each and every night (much like me, but enough about my legendary sexual prowess).

Anonymous said...

Bruce, thats the glass half empty kinda way of looking at it, most of the time Werewolves are as dangerous as anybody else, thats pretty damn dangerous. Once a month they turn into unstoppable killing machines. Which from the glass half full perspective, is kinda groovy.

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

For the record, I've gone up against and taken down Aliens, Vampires, Giant Spiders, Werewolves and Zombies.

I will say Warewolves are a bit tougher than Vampires but some silver in my M249 ammo belt will drop them like bowling pins- for good. I also had Wilkinson Sword craft a Mameluke from silver just in case :)

Anonymous said...

Hey the really great thing about silver bullets is that they will stop a Werewolf just as effectively as an uppity citizen. So really it's win win for the marine corp, Why wait until the full moon to find out what you're up against?, lets make them standard issue rounds now.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Lt.Col, didn't you have that Werewolve pack you encountered in Panama made into a rather attractive six piece luggage suite and a bathrobe?

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

Civvy: Alas, while that's an excellent idea and has my 100% endorsement. It's unfortunately doomed to failure due to budget constraints.

Yes I did. I even had enough salvageable fur for some Winter boots and groovy hat made from a hollowed out head :P