Sunday, September 18, 2005

Sizemore gets more rehab.

Tom Sizemore may be out of prison but he’s back in Rehab after violating parole. He’s still one of my favourite actors and I think he’s the only person who could play a ‘real’ Colonel Creedon on screen. In July, his Judge accepted the 43-year-old actor's request to stay at the treatment centre after he admitted violating his probation by trying to fake the results of a drug test by using a prosthetic penis. C'mon you've gotta admire that level of ingenuity?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Would he need a prosthetic to play Colonel Creedon?

Anonymous said...

what kind of prosthetic do your refer to, sir?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

No he wouldn't need any, he'd have to loose a few pounds, do some training and have a scar made-up on his arm but otherwise he's perfect.

Anonymous said...

Well, the Sizemore article states that, "he admitted violating his probation by trying to fake the results of a drug test by using a prosthetic penis". Therefore the question was, does Tom Sizemore require such a prosthetic to fully portray the character of Colonel Creedon?, Occording to Colonel Creedon, he wouldn't need any, which in turm leads to the question how does the good Colonel know this?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Far be it from someone who has a massive collection of Star Wars Action Figures to raise the 'maturity' bar, but Christ lads!?

Conspiracy Nut said...

I cry, "Censorship", "Military Coverup", Come clean Colonel, how do you know that Sizemore measures up, and don't try and hide behind any "Maturity Bar".

Anonymous said...

Call me wierd, but for us STRAIGHT people out there I say - no nude colonel scenes, for the love of god! :-)

Civilian Overseer said...

I agree and to make sure lets get the Senate to pass a bill that prohibits Colonel nudity under any circumstance. It the only God fearin' non-liberal thing to do!

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

A Colonel Creedon movie or TV show would be far to fast-paced and action-packed to have time for Tom to do any such scenes. I mean it would be a rollercoaster of battle from Grenada to the Lebanon, Panama to Iraq, Somalia to Haiti, Kosovo to Afghanistan and then back to Iraq again. Not to mention intervening service with the UN, the Pentagon and SOCOM, I just don't think there's be time for nuidity outside of bein a POW, but as Colonel Creedon has never been captured (and could never surrender) that too is unlikely.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the prosthetic could be used as a close combat weapon in the life or death struggle with an evil mastermind? Creedon could prevail by either jamming it down the poor mastermind throat causing him to gag (this could come off as sexual if not tastefully shot), or by jamming it so far into the eye socket that it penetrates the brain, leaving the poor unfortunate a twitching quivering heap on the floro - either attack nicely sets up the final "head shot" from Creedons silenced weapon - accompanied by a Schwarenegger-esque one-liner "oooh yeaaaah"

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Sigh! It's good you remain anonymous James!

Civilian Overseer said...

I don't know about the Colonel never getting capture, I think we're missing the opportunity to show off the Colonel's mental toughness. Remember Steve "The Cooler King" McQueen in "The Great Escape" whenever he was thrown in the Cooler by ze Germans he used his baseball to keep himself sane, I reckon that in much the same way the Colonel could use his prosthetic to keep himself amused whilst incarcerated.

Anonymous said...

You know, I don't think that I have the mental toughness to see the colonels mental toughness!
Why can't he be like Alec Guinness in the Bridge on the River Kwai and demonstrate his mental toughness without accessories?