Papal blood stolen for clone?

SPEARHEAD is on the trail of a radical militant Catholic sect called the "Paladins of Yahweh” whom they suspect are behind the theft of a precious reliquary containing the blood of John Paul II from a remote mountain church in Italy on Saturday.

The stolen reliquary. In the centre of the medallion is a piece of cloth on which Pope John Paul II's bled after an assassination attempt in 1981.

World news reported the reliquary and a crucifix, were stolen from their location in the Church of St Peter of Ienca in San Pietro della Ienca, Abruzzo, Italy. On Monday a team of aboiut 50 Carabinieri police officers, aided by sniffer dogs, searched the area close to the church at the foot of Gran Sasso, a 9,550ft- high mountain in the Apennines east of Rome in in the belief that the thieves might have immediately dumped the stolen objects as was the case in a similar theft of the pontiffs blood stolen from a priest while he was travelling on a train north of Rome, but alas there has been no such luck here.

It’s believed that because John Paul II is due to be canonised by Pope Francis in April, that the reliquary, one of only three in existence, will increase exponentially in value and this may be simply a tale of old-fashioned greed. Nothing other than the crucifix and reliquary were stolen from the church, not even the collection box, which might indicate that this was a “commissioned” robbery.

Meanwhile, Giovanni Panunzio, head of Osservatorio Antiplagio an anti-occult group suggested that the theft might be linked to Satanism. “This period of the year is important in the Satanic calendar so this sort of sacrilege often takes place at this time of the year.” Some cults see the period of January 20-27 as a time for the “abduction, ceremonial preparation and holding of a sacrificial victim for Candlemas”, a feast day celebrated along with other “satanic revels” on February 2nd.

However, SPEARHEAD is currently only investigating because the Paladins of Yahweh have become a noteworthy and “highly motivated threat” according to Major General "Jäger" Brandt, SPEARHEAD Deputy Commander for Security and Surveillance. This is believed to be due to Pope Francis’ extremely moderate views uncharacteristic of a person in his station, which include but not limited to: eschewing the traditional trappings of his position for mundane accommodation and vehicles, general acceptance of homosexuals, debunking the traditional interpretations of hell and purgatory, assuring atheists will have a place in heaven and making a blood-sacrifice to Falconus, God of Birds. “It’s almost certain that groups like the Paladins of Yahweh would be incensed by Pope Francis' actions” said General Brandt “and we must draw to the inescapable conclusion that their theft of the relic was for the sole purpose of developing a clone of Pope John Paul II to somehow ‘rise from the dead’ and get the Catholicism back on their track.”

During question time General Brandt said that while there was absolutely no evidence supporting the theory that the Paladins of Yahweh were even involved, let alone possessing the scientific knowledge or technology associated with human cloning, he assured the press that “it was still the most likely scenario” and added “It just really has to be ja?”  In response to a final question Brandt said “As a matter of fact I’ve just finished reading ALL of Dan Brown's novels, but I fail to see what this has to do with anything. We’re finished now ja?” and he just left the podium.

Source: Irish Times / The Telegraph / BBC / Mr. V

Movie review catch-up 29-01-14

Homefront

This movie is based on a book which Sylvester Stallone purchased the movie rights for years ago because he wanted to make it into Rambo IV. However what must have happened was that someone must have reminded Sly that John Rambo wasn’t a former DEA agent, nor had he a daughter so this was totally the wrong book to buy for Rambo IV and he went in a different direction for that sublime masterpiece and shelved Homefront for later.

Another reason why Homefront wouldn’t have worked for Rambo IV was that it’s basically Commando and Raw Deal rolled into one and to be fair, even Sylvester Stallone is above knocking off old 1980’s Schwarzenegger movies for his second most famous character. However with the likes of Jack Reacher and 2 Guns proving that Hollywood seems to be in an 80’s/early 90’s fad at the moment, Homefront is not out of place. Jason Statham is Phil Broker a former DEA agent trying to make a peaceful life for himself in Louisiana with his young daughter but his violent past catches up with him when their lives are disrupted by both local hoodlums [great performance from James Franco]  and the desire for revenge by a man whom Broker put away.

Whopper's Rating: ***

Gravity

Children of Men is one of the few British movies I own, so when Alfonso Cuaron set his next movie in space, but not sci-fi space, I became quite intrigued. Cuaron crafted a gripping,  at times frightening and deliberately claustrophobic tale of a female astronaut [Sandra Bullock] and her quest to survive in the cold darkness of space and return to the Earth.

Now despite what the complaints from Niel Degrasse Tyson “buzzkill of science” would have you believe, over 99% of the audience either won’t know or won’t fucking care that you wouldn’t be able to see space debris in the manner depicted in the movie. The realism of the movie is nevertheless far above the Hollywood norm for this type of film and eschews the customary sounds in space that are often added for theatrical reasons and favours instead Steven Price's score to aurally punctuate the events on screen. The result is indeed a bleak representation of the otherwise exciting realm of space but not entirely without it’s own excitement. See it in 3D if possible.

Note: This movie was seen in 3-D as exemption clause [D] was enacted, negating the DECLARATION OF REJECTION FOR MAINSTREAM THREE-DIMENSIONAL CINEMATIC PROJECTION AS A VIABLE ALTERNATIVE TO TWO-DIMENSIONAL IN ITS CURRENT FORM made in July 2012

Whopper's Rating: *****

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Peter Jackson's fifth epic middle-earth movie won’t disappoint those that enjoyed the first past of this new trilogy begun last year. Here however we have a much more cohesive adventure, less exposition, more neck-breaking action and a rather large dragon!

Tolkein purists will get their noses in a knot with the addition of Legolas and the creation of Tauriel but I’m not going to stand here and complain about Orlando Bloom representing the finest screen depiction of an elvish ranger and certainly not feign disgust the hot red-headed elven totty in the form of the delectable Evangeline Lilly because I couldn’t convincingly do so. As far as I’m concerned I’m sure that if Tolkein had been writing for a Hollywood movie and not the greatest fantasy books of all time then Peter Jackson wouldn’t need to make the alterations he is now.

I think I’ll chalk up Desolation of Smaug to be an excellent middle part of the story, but as we all know the endgame is the most important, and I’ll reserve final judgements until then. The Hobbit: There and Back Again is released December this year.

Whopper's Rating: *****

SPEARHEAD: "No unidentified craft or structure on moon"

SPEARHEAD today denied what it called “ridiculous” reports of an enormous spacecraft, or structure apparently lodged in the surface of Earth’s moon.

Reports emerged last week that a large object of unknown origin was visually verified as having landed or was constructed on the moon. The reports claim that as a result, three Terrier-Orion rockets were launched from NASA's Wallops Flight Facility last Wednesday on undisclosed missions for the DoD.

Apparently they believe that in 2011, NASA began tracking what a source described as “an array of massive, three-dimensional, black structures in space, in straight-line formation, advancing in direction of planet earth” and in 2012 the source [identified only by an assumed name “Dr. Eric Norton”] was shown photographs of them taken over several months. As the objects got closer, Norton confirmed that "They were shaped in the best way I can describe, as a three-dimensional L-shaped craft."

It was reported that once the objects had reached a point 200,000km beyond Mars in January 2013, they vanished, but their assumed trajectory brought them in close proximity, or direct contact with the moon. It is said that in response, the U.S. launched a previously Obama-cancelled project LADEE [Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer] in September to supplement NASA's existing Lunar Reconnaissance Orbital Camera [LROC] to assist in locating and photographing the objects and “by December, 2013, both LADEE and the LROC found at least one of the two enormous objects had landed on the moon, in a crater the size of the City of Chicago.”

No source was specified, but it was reported that LROCs high resolution images were classified by the U.S. government, however it’s low-resolution photos were “accidentally” uploaded to Google Moon, a Google Earth-type application that plots the lunar surface, and of course the objects were seen by members of the public – revealing the incredible secret!

SPEARHEAD responded to the media reports at a press conference where the SPEARHEAD Assistant Commander for Intelligence and Information himself, Brigadier General “Whopper” Creedon in his first full press conference since assuming the post in November, was quick to rubbish the claims of the media reports. The General described the media as obviously having a “slow news day” where they were behaving “like barnacles” latching onto the totally refutable claims  of “some irresponsible quack, who is obviously high on drugs” in reference to Dr. Norton and that they should adopt a more stringent policy when vetting sources.

The General issued concrete assurance that there was no unidentified spacecraft or structures on the moon and that the people who are looking at the photos have equal judgement to the “bunch of time-wasting freaks who saw rats and lizards” in the recent photographs of the Martian surface. Responding to questions, Creedon also stated that many NASA projects had received special funding from "elsewhere" to proceed as planned and the DoD frequently launches craft at a moments notice for secret surveillance purposes and to increase drone range across the planet. "There's nothing to be concerned about," he assured.

According to SPEARHEAD's senior scientist Dr. "Quantum" Pataal, who assisted Creedon "there are several far more rational explanations for the moon photo anomaly including but not limited to: space debris passing by, tricks of light, meteorite impacts or the more likely scenario which is simply stitching artifacts from applying hundreds of square images onto a three dimensional spherical object". The latter phenomenon is often seen in Google Earth itself and is common in modern 3D video games.

Unfortunately, General Creedon's press conference was cut short by what appeared to be an emergency as his aide-de-camp handed him a cellphone. Nearby microphones picked up him saying: "Jade Rabbit is dead?.... How?.... It found WHAT?..... Dear God!"

Source: Turner Radio Network / Space.com / The Daily Mail / The New York Daily News / Mr. V

Movie review catch-up 21-01-14

Escape Plan

Stallone and Schwarzenegger have teamed up before but that was really only for the last act of The Expendables 2. In Escape Plan they get near equal billing and screen time in this glorious homage to The Great Escape, er I mean that other epic prison escape movie Fortress!

It’s fairly bizarre seeing Schwarzenegger actually act for a change playing an intelligent individual rather than just grunting as shooting, although there’s plenty of both including his appropriation of a Helicopter-mounted machine gun which he fires from the hip. Stunning performance also from Jim Caviezel as the prison warden with Vinnie Jones as the over-eager head guard lapdog.

Whopper's Rating: ****

Ender’s Game

Based on controversial homophobe Orson Scott Card’s classic sci-fi novel, Ender’s Game is the tale of a child prodigy trained to become the supreme battle strategist for the human race as it prepares to defend itself against attack from an insect-like alien race.

I’m probably going to dump this in my disc collection with the likes of Wing Commander, the movie based on the game, as I wouldn’t consider this a potential classic science fiction movie by a long shot but I’d certainly watch it again. Sir Ben Kinglsley shows up to support Asa Butterfield [Ender] with Abigail Zombieland Breslen, Hailee True Grit Steinfeld and Harrison Ford as Colonel Graff.

I’ve been told to read the book to fully appreciate how much Hollywood has “butchered” this classic science fiction tale, but from what I’ve read so far, the decisions the producers made seem to be entirely understandable. 

Whopper's Rating: **** 

Thor: The Dark World

Worthy sequel to a movie that I originally thought would fail because I think the character is a bit silly to be honest. However Branagh made it work and now Alan Taylor gets to deliver a tale of epic proportions as Thor imprisons Loki in the aftermath of The Avengers but must learn to work with him against an ancient enemy to save his beloved Jane from being consumed by darkness [along with the rest of the planet].

Here the ground work is laid for “phase 2” of the Marvel Super Heroes arc that will continue in Captain America: Winter Soldier and on to Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers 2. Everyone from Thor returns for The Dark World, so no surprises. Christopher Eccleston [who wants to be a ‘real actor’ so much he snubbed Doctor Who's reunion] is the woefully substandard villain. Natalie Portman still looks like she just doesn’t want to be in the movie but a tip of the hat goes to Stellan Skarsgård for bringing even more life to Prof. Selvig this time around. Cameo alert: You will recognise Chris O’Dowd you may not Benicio Del Toro, you have been warned!

Whopper's Rating: ****1/2

Ignorant cinema texter taken out!

As this did not involve a currently serving law-enforcement official it can't be added to my Shoot First... series, but it nevertheless highlights a justifiable, if a tad overdramatic, response to something that ought to be considered a heinous crime.

Earlier in the week, a dispute over the use of a cell phone inside a cinema “escalated quickly” to quote Ron Burgundy, leaving the cell phone user dead and a smoking gun belonging to a former police officer.

The dispute began around 13:30 at a showing of new Mark Wahlberg movie Lone Survivor at The Grove 16 Theatre in Wesley Chapel, Florida. Curtis Reeves Jr., a 71 year old retired Tampa Bay police captain, asked Chad Oulson 43 to stop texting on his cell phone. According to media outlets Oulson apparently refused, telling Reeves that he was sending text messages to his young daughter. Reeves subsequently alerted the theatre staff, an act which seemed to escalate the confrontation.

A Marine Vietnam vet and eyewitness in the theatre, Charles Cummings [68], told reporters that the men started raising their voices and popcorn was thrown. According to authorities Reeves allegedly drew his .38-calibre semiautomatic pistol in front of about 10 people and shot Oulson.  According to the arrest report, Reeves claims that the victim struck him in the face with an unknown object and said that he was in fear of being attacked and the shooting was self-defence. Judge Lynn Tepper rejected the notion that second-degree murder charges were too severe and refused to let him out on bond.

Personally, I think that people who use their mobile phones in a cinema deserve to be shot. It’s a darkened room and cell phones are bright with increasingly bigger screens nowadays and are very distracting. Chad Oulson was given ample warning by Curtis Reeves to cease and desist but was too much of a dickhead to comply. Interestingly, he was also allegedly sending a text to his daughter whom different media reports are saying is aged between 22 months and 3 years, in any case – too young to have a cell phone, so if true, Oulson was apparently a bad parent as well as an asshole.

However, perhaps surprisingly I don’t think Reeves was entirely justified in his actions in this event; this is because the trailers were still showing. You see, the main feature hadn’t actually started yet and I think it should be OK to use your phone up to the point where the movie proper actually starts. Regardless of the lack of justification, we now live in a world there this has happened; of course the lesson here is if you use your phone during a movie from now on, you should be prepared to go down like a punk.

Paul Hellyer reveals undisputable alien presence

Canada’s former defence minister The Honourable Paul Hellyer PC spoke on Russia Today recently saying that alien species have been visiting earth for thousands of years and they’re worried that humans are going to wreck the planet. He said up to 80 different species regularly visit earth; some are the familiar “grays” seen in popular culture and caricatures while others pass as humans.

Hellyer explained that they come from all over the galaxy but while one or two of the species were benevolent and wanted to help humans, we haven’t seen more of them until very recently because they’re bound by a code of conduct from providing superior knowledge to us, presumably similar to Star Trek’s 'Prime Directive'.

Hellyer said military investigators had found strong evidence that at least four species had been visiting earth for much of human history, and their visits had become more frequent since our discovery of atomic technology. He explained their fear that we would start using atomic weapons again.

He said aliens had accepted that humans had a right to run their own planet, although they were concerns about our stewardship of it and while aliens wish they could share more technology with humans, they’re afraid we’d use these advances for warfare.

Unusually, SPEARHEAD were not quick to denounce, or even prevent Hellyer from being broadcast. Master Warrant Officer “Chatterbox” Hendrickx of the SPEARHEAD Public Affairs office said in a press event that former minister Hellyer did great service to his country in the 60's and some of the very model that he used to unify his country's armed forces into a single organisation was used by UNETIDA to do the same with international forces in the early 1970's.

MWO Hendrickx was keen to point out that although Mr. Hellyer did not speak for SPEARHEAD, his "wise and level-headed counsel would be welcome at any negotiation table" between the people of Earth and the beings from [in Hellyer's own words] "near one of Saturn's moons" in due course.

2013 The year in review

Time to say goodbye to 2013.

President Obama's second inauguration ceremony

A year of a Royal Baby, Civil War in Syria, the Horse-meat scandal, The Boston Marathon Bombings, Lance Armstrong coming clean, a new Pope, Ed Snowden, The Gathering, Lee Rigby, Obamacare, Costa Concordia, the iPhone 5S, The Washington Navy Yard, The U.S Government Shut-down, Chris Hadfield, Miley's Twerking, Typhoon Haiyan and "Whopper"'s first star.

As always we must acknowledge those we lost in 2013, especially;

The American novelist Tom Clancy [66]. 

Colm Murray [61] Irish sports journalist and broadcaster. 

Ray Harryhausen [92] American stop-motion animator famous for Clash of the Titans

Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher [87] Prime Minister of Great Britain (1979–1990)

American film critic Roger Ebert [70]

Wojciech Kilar [81] the Polish composer of the score to Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Pianist. 

American actors Paul Walker [40], James Gandolfini [51] and Dennis Farina [69]

Irish actor Milo O'Shea [86] and British actor Richard Griffiths [65],

and British-Irish actor Peter O'Toole [81].

We also acknowledge the passing of the following individuals who made the history books:

Milton Olin, Jr. [65], American businessman, Chief Operating Officer of Napster (2000–2002),
Mikhail Kalashnikov [94], Russian weapons designer (AK-47, AK-74),

Kadir Nurman [80], Turkish-born German restaurateur, inventor of doner kebab,
Doug Engelbart [88], Inventor of the computer mouse

Ray Dolby [80], American audio engineer and inventor (Dolby NR, surround sound),

Seamus Heaney [74], Irish poet, laureate of the Nobel Prize in Literature (1995),

Itaru Ishida [33] Japanese Magic: The Gathering player. Level 48 Planeswalker & Japan's 1st Pro player.
William C. Lowe [72], Former IBM executive credited with helping to bring personal computers to the masses.

We mourn the loss of the following members of the entertainment industry:

James Avery [68], American actor, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Uncle Phil) / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (voice of Shredder)

Joseph Ruskin [89], American actor, Star Trek ("The Gamesters of Triskelion") / Deep Space Nine / Voyager / Enterprise

Marty Hornstein [76], American film producer, Star Trek VI / Insurrection / First Contact / Nemesis

Lewis Collins

Lewis Collins [67], British actor, The Professionals / Who Dares Wins

Marcia Wallace [70], American actress, The Simpsons (voice Edna Krabappel)

Ed Lauter [74], American actor, Star Trek: The Next Generation ("The First Duty")

Lou Scheimer [84], American television producer, He-Man and The Masters of the Universe, co-founder of Filmation

Otto Sander [72], German actor, Das Boot (Kapitänleutnant Philipp Thomsen)

Ann C. Crispin [63] American science fiction author, Star Wars: The Han Solo Trilogy / Star Trek: Sarek

Lee Thompson Young [29], American actor, FlashForward

Michael Ansara [91] Syrian-born American actor, Star Trek / Star Trek: DS9 (Kang)

Joe Conley [85], American actor, The Waltons (Ike Godsey)

Mario Machado [78], American news anchor and actor RoboCop (Casey Wong)

Michael France [51], American screenwriter, GoldenEye / The Punisher

Richard LeParmentier [66], American actor, Star Wars (Admiral Motti)

Quinton Hoover [49], American artist and trading card illustrator, Magic: The Gathering

Michael Gray [77] American director, screenwriter, writer/producer for Star Trek: The Next Generation

Jane Henson [78], American puppeteer, co-founder of The Muppets

Malachi Throne

Malachi Throne [84], American actor Star Trek "The Menagerie" (Commodore Mendez) / Star Trek The Next Generation (Senator Pardek)

Derek Watkins [68], British trumpeter, played on every James Bond soundtrack Dr. No to Skyfall

Peter Duryea [73], American actor, Star Trek "The Cage"/ "The Menagerie" (Lieutenant Jose Tyler)

Jim Mees [57], American Emmy-winning set designer, Star Trek: The Next GenerationStuart Freeborn [98], English make-up artist, Star Wars

Michael Winner [77], British film director, Death Wish

Leslie Frankenheimer [64], American set decorator, Star Trek: Voyager

and we thank them for their talents.

We also acknowledge the passing of those who dedicated themselves to military, science and public service:

Cpl. Rodolfo Perez "Rudy" Hernandez, U.S. Army [82], Medal of Honor recipient, Korean War

Sir Christopher Curwen [84], British Head of the Secret Intelligence Service (1985–1989)

Nelson Mandela [95], South African anti-apartheid activist and politician, President (1994−1999)

BGen Margaret A. Brewer, USMC (retired) [82], First female USMC General Officer

Sgt. John Druse "Bud" Hawk, U.S. Army [89], Medal of Honor recipient, World War II

Denis Foley [79], Irish Fianna Fáil politician, TD ('81−'89, '92−'02), Senator ('89−'92).

Noel Davern [67], Irish Fianna Fáil politician, Minister for Education ('91−'92).

MSgt. Nicholas Oresko U.S. Army [96] Medal of Honor recipient, World War II

Cmdr. Scott Carpenter USN Ret. [88], test pilot, astronaut and aquanaut, 4th American in space

Maj. Martin Drewes [94], German military pilot, World War II flying ace [52 victories]

Michael J. Noonan [78], Irish Fianna Fáil politician, Minister for Defence (1987–1989)

Wg Cdr Kenneth Horatio Wallis DSO MBE CEng FRAeS PhD RAF [97], 28 bomber missions over Germany, Autogyro Stunt Pilot James Bond: You Only Live Twice

Adm Sir John Forster Woodward

Adm Sir John Forster "Sandy" Woodward GBE, KCB [81], Royal Naval Commander, Falklands War Task Force

William P. Clark, Jr. [81], U.S. National Security Advisor (1982–1983),

Gen. David C. Jones USAF Ret. [92], Chief of Staff of the Air Force (1974–1978), CJCOS (1978–1982)

Col. Bud Day, USAF Ret.[88], POW, Medal of Honor recipient, Vietnam

Oberstleutnant Otto Schultz [93], German Luftwaffe ace, [73 aerial victories]

Thomas G. Clines [84], American CIA agent [Iran-Contra]

Adm. Frank Kelso, USN Ret. [79], American naval officer, CNO (1990–1994)

Col. Jack Hawkins USMC Ret. [96], aka "John Haskins", Battle of Bataan, POW, Military Commander Bay of Pigs Invasion

TSgt Vernon McGarity U.S. Army [91], Medal of Honor recipient at the Battle of the Bulge

Marshal of the Soviet Union Viktor Kulikov [91], Warsaw Pact CinC (1977–1989).

Maj. Tom Griffin USAAF [96], American aviator, member of the Doolittle Raid

Flt Lt Sir Alan Smith, CBE, DFC [95], British World War II Spitfire fighter ace

Wg Cdr Peter Olver, DFC [95], British World War II Royal Air Force Supermarine Spitfire ace, Battle of Britain

CPO Christopher Scott "Chris" Kyle [38], Navy SEAL sniper, [160 confirmed kills]

we thank them for their service.

May they all rest in peace.

And now we embrace the future of 2014!

Happy New Year

Merry Christmas!

..because Happy Holidays is what terrorists say!!

The US Marines of Lima Battery, 3rd Batt. 11th Marines fire Lightweight Howitzers to celebrate Christmas.

RIP Nelson Mandela 1918-2013

"I concur with the statement that Nelson Mandela is a terrorist only if that's the word that defines someone who fights against a government who revokes your rights and citizenshp, forceably removes you from your home and instructs you where to live based solely on the colour of your skin."

- Major C. Creedon USMC; Combined Arms Service Staff School - World Politics paper, July 1993

Goodbye Paul Walker

The world went into shock at the weekend as the news spread of the untimely death in a road traffic accident of one of its favourite sons - Paul Walker, better known as Brian O’Conner of The Fast and the Furious franchise. He was 40. Walker’s death occurred on November 30th after leaving a charity event for victims of the recent hurricane in the Philippines, when the driver of the vehicle he was a passenger in, lost control and crashed into a street lamp post and tree and was engulfed in flames. Rescue efforts were unsuccessful and both occupants of the car were pronounced dead by the LA County Sheriff’s Dept.

An actor from a young age, his first work was as a toddler in commercials and later advanced to television when he was older with roles on Highway to Heaven, Who’s the Boss? and Touched by an Angel. His early film career spanned the late 90’s with roles in Pleasantville and The Skulls. Walker’s career properly took off in 2001 when he starred in Rob Cohen’s now-classic The Fast and the Furious in 2001. As deep undercover FBI agent Brian O’Conner the role [and the movie’s unprecedented success] established Walker as a notable movie star and leading man in other movies such as Timeline, Into the Blue, Eight Below and a role in Clint Eastwood’s Flags of Our Fathers. However it was still the Fast and Furious movies with which he will be most remembered, having reprised his O’Conner role in four of the five sequels currently released with a seventh entry in the franchise currently in production and due for release in July 2014 [for which he had believed to have filmed most of his scenes]. He will appear in The Hours, due for release this month.

Walker was of Irish, English and German descent, the son of a fashion model and a drainage contractor, born and raised in California and majored in marine biology in college. He resided in Santa Barbara with his daughter whom he is survived by. He was a brown-belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He was active in marine biology circles and was on the Billfish Foundation board of directors and spent time tagging great white sharks off the coast of Mexico. He also established REACH OUT Worldwide, a humanitarian aid organisation with which he flew to Chile and Haiti to assist earthquake victims. Walker was a self-confessed “gearhead”, an avid car enthusiast and racer. The car his character drove in 2 Fast, 2 Furious was in fact his own personal vehicle.

Walker leaves behind his daughter as well as millions of fans worldwide. Friends, co-stars and colleagues of the acting world like Tyrece Gibson, Dwane “The Rock” Johnson, Alyssa Milano, Jamie Bell, Idris Elba and Jessica Alba all took to Twitter to express grief. Said Fast and Furious co-star Vin Diesel: "To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die."

J.F.K.

In the central foyer of SPEARHEAD Headquarters, Mount Olympus, Greece, a marble engraving carries the words:

"The supreme reality of our time is the vulnerability of our planet." 

The quote is attributed to the 35th POTUS, John F. Kennedy who was tragically assassinated 50 years ago this day.

To honour those who have served

Happy 238th Birthday USMC

"America keeps an insurance poilicy... it's called The United States Marine Corps"

Source: USMC/Youtube

Indians in space!

India's Mars Orbiter Mission took off at 09:08 GMT from the Satish Dhawan Space Centre this morning. It is the Indian Space Research Organisation's aim to be the fourth such body to reach Mars and to demonstrate the technological capability to reach the Red Planet and carry out experiments.

Prof Andrew Coates of Mullard Space Science Laboratory in the UK said that the ISRO has found some interesting scientific niches to take some measurements in. These include searching for the signature of methane in the Martian atmosphere, previously detected from orbit and from telescopes on Earth but not by the Curiosity rover. Due to methane's short lifetime in Martian atmosphere, it is concluded that something must replenish it. As 95% of atmospheric methane on Earth is produced by microbes, the possibility of a biosphere deep beneath the Martian surface is theorised.

The recently appointed SPEARHEAD Assistant Commander for Intelligence and Information, Brigadier General "Whopper" Creedon warned against nations putting too much hope in these potentially dangerous probe missions to other planets, that is - unless SPEARHEAD is given full access to the project. He alluded to an event almost two years ago to the day when China's Yinghuo-1 spacecraft was piggybacked on the Russian Phobos Grunt spacecraft, which became stranded in low-Earth orbit shortly after launch in November 2011. "Yeah", he chuckled "it became stranded" he said sarcastically.

India approved $72m project in 2012 despite the country having one of the highest rankings for childhood malnutrition in the world. The spacecraft is set to travel for some 300 days to reach Mars orbit in 2014.

Source: BBC News

Whopper promoted!

On November 2nd, at a private ceremony near SPEARHEAD Regional Headquarters - Europe, Colonel "Whopper" Creedon's family and friends finally pinned brigadier general's stars onto his already impressively decorated dress uniform.

Mr. V, Senior Adviser with Shadow Directorate and Mrs. Creedon, the Colonel's mother promote Colonel "Whopper" Creedon to the grade of brigadier general in accordance with Marine Corps tradition.

The newly minted Brigadier General "Whopper" Creedon reaffirmed his oath, swearing on a copy of the teachings of Lucas.

 

Brig. Gen. Creedon was also presented with the Defense Superior Service Medal for "superior meritorious service in a position of significant responsibility", namely as the Director of Intelligence for UNETIDA.

Creedon's initial flag assignment will be as the first SPEARHEAD Assistant Commander for Intelligence and Information. The new SPEARHEAD Director of Intelligence and the Director of Information will both report directly to him.

Photos: L. Kerins Vaughan

Falling Stars

A brazen assault by 15 insurgents on Camp Bastion, a fortified coalition base in Afghanistan last September left two US Marines dead and more than 12 aircraft destroyed or damaged. In the wake of the attack, several investigations were conducted to find out how security could have been breached and what factors allowed the attack to happen. The results of the investigations however did not adequately address issues of responsibility.

The Commandant of the US Marine Corps, General James Amos requested that CENTCOM, the parent command for Middle Eastern operations, conduct a more thorough review of the Camp Bastion incident, with specific focus on determining accountability. 

The finding revealed that Maj. Gen. Charles “Mark” Gurganus, then commander of Regional Command Southwest in Afghanistan, and Maj. Gen. Gregg Sturdevant, then commander of the Marines’ aviation wing in the region, underestimated the enemy and should have been prepared for a range of attacks as opposed to their focus on ones coming from inside the perimeter.

[L] Maj.Gen. Mark Gurganus, [R] Maj. Gen. Gregg Sturdevant

The highly organised and bold assault took the coalition by surprise however, as the insurgents cut through a fence at night and crept toward the flight line. They targeted aircraft and what they believed to be a living area for troops. They completely destroyed six $24m AV-8B Harrier jets, severely damaging two others and six more assorted aircraft. More than 100 coalition troops responded, triggering a furious counterattack that lasted at least four hours. Marine Sgt. Bradley Atwell and Harrier squadron commander, Lt. Col. Christopher Raible [who charged at the insurgents armed only with his sidearm] lost their lives in the attack. 

Gen. Amos said the two commanders did not take adequate security measures or exercise the high level of judgment expected of general officers. “In their duty to protect their forces these two generals did not meet that standard,” he said. The Commandant formally requested the resignations of both Maj. Generals Gurganus and Sturdevant. Additionally recommended that Gurganus’ already announced nomination to the rank of lieutenant general be rescinded and that Sturdevant receive a letter of censure from the secretary of the Navy, a rarity during war. Amos said it was the “hardest decision I have had to make as commandant of the Marine Corps” and that he had served with both men in combat, calling them “extraordinary Marine officers.”

Some of the flag officers in the other services haven't been doing so well either this month. Two weeks ago Navy Vice Admiral Timothy Giardina deputy commander of US Strategic Command  which oversees everything from America's land-based nuclear missiles to space operations governing military satellites, was relieved of command. He became subject of an NCIS investigation after being accused of using counterfeit gambling chips in "a significant monetary amount" at an Iowa casino. Giardina's loss of assignment means he automatically reverted to a 2-star rear admiral.

[L] Maj. Gen. Michael Carey, [R] Vice Admiral Tim Giardina

At the same time the Air Force announced that Maj. Gen. Michael Carey had been relieved of command of the 20th Air Force which is responsible for three wings of intercontinental ballistic missiles - a total of 450 missiles at three bases across the country. The measure was taken in response to an investigation into alleged personal misbehavior.

Last Friday, Stars and Stripes revealed that Army Brig. Gen. Bryan Wampler, commander of the 143rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command, currently deployed in Kuwait was “temporarily suspended” on Oct. 10th, pending the outcome of an investigation.

It was widely reported earlier in the year that due to the withdrawal of permanent forces in Afghanistan, that the Pentagon would require fewer general officers going forward. However it was assumed that natural retirement attrition would reduce the numbers in an organised and reasonable fashion; not something that looks almost suspiciously like a purge.

Sources: BBC / FOX News / Military Times / Stars and Stripes

Movie review catch-up 09-10-13

Due to reasons of international security, being away from the bunker for a series of military operations and attending the general officer's orientation course, my movie reviews slipped but I do have time for a quick rundown...

Kick-Ass 2

In the sublime original Kick-Ass we saw our geeky hero get the idea that anyone can be a superhero in the modern world if you’re prepared to put up with both the hilarious, and dire consequences of putting on a wetsuit and wading knee-deep into the criminal underworld. It was an OTT action setup and a uniquely fresh entry into the saturated genre. Kick-Ass 2 is different, now Kick-Ass decides that he’d be better off as part of a team and so seeks out and finds an unlikely band of social misfits led by Jim Carrey - who delivers a superb performance as Colonel Stars & Stripes [a pity you can’t actually stand by the performance Jim, it’s one of your better ones] and together they go and dispense justice, with baseball bats.

 

To be honest however, it’s actually the movie’s b-story that seems more fluid and less forced and this centres on Chloe Grace Moretz’ Hit-Girl as she basically comes of age. To be honest it’s far more entertaining to see a schoolgirl/professional vigilante try to fit in to ‘normal’ [un]civilised society than it was to watch Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the idiotically-titled The Mutherfucker, deliver another failed attempt at being evil [including the always unwelcome “comedy rape” scenario] with the most ridiculous dialogue ever.

Kick-Ass 2 is one of those rare occasions not seen since Men In Black II, when the second movie of a series pales in comparison to the original. It is more likened to Superman 2 as a sequel - it had all the action and excitement of the original but none of the charm which breathes life into a movie and enables repeat watching years down the line. I can’t see myself deliberately watching this again sadly. 

Colonel Creedon rating: **

Elysium

 

There was never any doubt that Neill Blomkamp would make another movie after the success of District 9. This time he got more money, and sidelined his former leading man The A-Team’s Sharlto Copely to the role of the antagonist in favour of Hollywood A-lister Matt Damon. The result is a competent and often thrilling yet somewhat derivative science fiction tale that could have been an extraordinary example of modern cinematic excellence, but falls short due to Jodie Foster’s woeful performance [and strange dubbing] as well as over 100 glaring plot holes that make confetti of an otherwise solid screenplay.

Colonel Creedon rating: ***1/2

2 Guns

The cinema is a time travel device. Through the images on the screen and sounds surrounding you, you can literally be transported to any place, any time. To use this wonderful prose to describe a bog-standard action-buddy-movie made in 2013 and by all reckoning, set in 2013 may seem a waste but that's not the type of time displacement at work here. 

 

No, you see this movie is from 1990. It's as if it was made in the late 1980's early 1990's, it's story, it's action, Denzel and Markie Mark's acting, it's singular simplicity and sense of purpose is straight from that glorious era of cinema. There have been many recent contenders to it's genre The Last Stand, Bullet to the Head, 12 Rounds, but none of them capture the essence of the 90's as well as this hidden gem!

Colonel Creedon rating: ****

Pain & Gain

A pun on 'No pain, no gain' this flick is at it's heart, a bodybuilding movie but it's wrapped up in a crime caper. The main hook of this movie is not that it's Mark Wahlberg and The Rock together on screen [although that's certainly interesting], it's the fact that the movie is directed by Michael Bay.

 

What you have to try to do is forget the usual formula of the majestic and explosive banality that is Bay. This is different. Here there is a message. It's as if for the first time, Bay is actually trying to tell us something, to tell a story! Sadly he chooses to alter the true events in such a manner as to portray the 'Sun Gym crew' in a sympathetic light, much to media [and victims relatives] chagrin and I can see their point.

While it is entertaining, it's leads do some of their better acting of their careers as well as excellently supported by Tony Shalhoub and the legendary Ed Harris, it's still insanely edited with the usual helping of slow motion for which there is no place in something like this, a bizarre satirical comedy crime-caper - based on true events.

Colonel Creedon rating: ***

Riddick

Isn’t Riddick great? He can fall hundreds of feet with tonnes of rock resulting only in a dislocated ankle - which is easily reset of course and held in place with screws through some armour. He can tame predatory wild beasts by kicking them in the face and glaring at them menacingly. He can immunise himself against toxic alien poison by deliberately introducing it into his bloodstream. He can behead people on the other side of room with both hands tied behind his back. He’s so masculine that he can ‘cure’ lesbianism. Yes Riddick is great, even when the script is the written equivalent of a 14 year old’s book report.

 

Bottom line, nowhere near the excellence of Pitch Black but easily surpasses the nonsense of The Chronicles of Riddick and allows to to see that only Vin Diesel can actually be out-acted by CGI.

Colonel Creedon rating: ****

R.I.P.D.

Read this and tell me if you’ve heard this plot before:

A young rookie cop gets recruited by a secret organisation unknown to the world and gets partnered up with a old crusty veteran. With the aid of advanced technology they go off and apprehend/shoot abnormal beings before the world finds any of them exist.

If at any point you thought “Colonel! That’s Men In Black”, you’d be right - but this is R.I.P.D., a cheap knock-off that’s substitutes the aliens with undead but otherwise is exactly the same premise.

 

While it’s fair to say it was fun, the lack of charm mixed with the woefully wooden Ryan Reynolds coupled with Jeff Bridges phoning it in is a stumbling block that will push this movie into oblivion. Thankfully it bombed so we’ll be spared any sort of sequel which could have similarly R.I.P.D.O.F.F. the plot of the already substandard MIB2 – shudder!

Colonel Creedon rating: *

Tom Clancy 1947 - 2013

It is with profound regret that I must report the death of geopolitical, military and espionage novelist Tom Clancy at only 66 after a short illness.

Clancy was best known for an entire genre of novels that are set in a sprawling single universe that often feature the character of Jack Ryan, a CIA analyst who later becomes the President of the United States. His first novel The Hunt For Red October became an international bestseller and was turned into a major motion picture by Paramount with Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery and is considered by many to be the best submarine movie of all, further cementing Clancy's place in history.

A further three of Clancy's best selling novels; Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger and The Sum of All Fears were also given the Hollywood treatment with Harrison Ford and later Ben Affleck portraying Ryan. Several attempts to start work on the 1993 novel Without Remorse have been made but nothing has yet come to pass. Chris Pine will however protray the titular character in Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit due for release at Christmas.

Clancy was no stranger to Television. In 1995 a book series he created with Steve Pieczenik known as Tom Clancy's Op-Center was turned into a TV miniseries starring Harry Hamlin. Later in 1999 Scott Bakula starred in Tom Clancy's Net Force, based on a second series of novels created by Clancy and Pieczenik.

Tom Clancy's name is known by almost every video gamer in the western world. He founded Red Storm Entertainment in 1996 to develop games based on the Tom Clancy's Power Plays novel series but the developer earned more attention for their acclaimed hostage rescue simulator Rainbow Six which was developed concurrently with Clancy as he wrote the novel of the same name. Ubisoft later purchased Red Storm and all IPs including Rainbow Six and Ghost Recon along with the licencing rights to Tom Clancy's brand name which had earlier been attached to Ubisoft's own Splinter Cell. Ubisoft continues to produce games under the Tom Clancy brand with new entries every year such as Ghost Recon: Online in 2012, Splinter Cell: Blacklist this year and both Rainbow Six: Patriots and The Division slated for 2014.

A life member of the NRA, Clancy was a conservative and held Republican views. He wrote his dedication to figures such as Ronald Reagan who had called The Hunt for Red October "my kind of yarn." After September 11th 2001, he publicly accused the left wing of being partially responsible due to their gutting of the CIA.

Born Thomas Leo Clancy Jr. in Baltimore, Maryland, he lived there until his death. He divorced his first wife Wanda King in 1999 before marrying Alexandra Marie Llewellyn later that year. He is survived by his wife and 5 children.

The personal influence Tom Clancy has had on my life is evident as you look at some of the contents of my office shelves here; All four movies adapted from his books are in my DVD collection [as is the Net Force miniseries]. All the Ubisoft games I own have Clancy's name on the cover. And on the bookshelf sits the hulking 336 page tome - Marine: A Guided Tour of a Marine Expeditionary Unit, a rare non-fiction book by the man which I purchased not long after I first pinned on my eagles and was offered command of an MEU. It helped me make a decision which maneuvered my career to bring me to where I am today. So thank you Tom Clancy, and rest in peace because without you there may never have been a Whopper's Bunker.

UNETIDA/UNPASID no more

Following their unanimous adoption of resolution 2118, which called for the speedy implementation of procedures drawn up by the OPCW to expedite destruction of the Syrian Arab Republic’s chemical weapons programme; the Security Council also resolved to officially merge two of the UN's Specialised International Military Commands, UNETIDA and UNPASID into a single operating entity.

In reality, following the death, disappearance or arrest of UNPASID senior command in the summer of 2012, the directorate's operations and resources had already been absorbed by UNETIDA in the wake of this tragedy. However, additional factors which had already been researched required lengthy deliberation before a structure could be agreed.

That agreement came on Friday and as of October 1st UNETIDA/UNPASID was rechartered as the Special Paranormal & Extra Terrestrial Research, Handling & Elimination Directorate or 'SPEARHEAD' with responsibility for military defence, combat, intelligence, containment, research and information operations in both Extra Terrestrial and paranormal situations. 

Lieutenant General "Stomper" Santorno US Army, who was brought out of retirement and appointed as UNETIDA/UNPASID Director, will serve as the first Commander, SPEARHEAD. The Russian Federation fielded Colonel-General "Kóbec" Yurkov, former Air Operations Commander for UNETIDA and recently Strategic Commander of the Russian Air Force to serve as Vice Commander, SPEARHEAD. Finally, Australia's Air Marshal "Cuckoo" Hawes was appointed as the SPEARHEAD Chief of Staff with Rear Admiral "Smokestack" Henderson USN, to serve as Deputy Chief of Staff.

During October, the senior SPEARHEAD officers will meet, discuss the findings of the Unified Command Plan and solidify the organisation's structure and operations from November 1st onwards.

Zalzala Jazeera not "Cobra Island"

In contrast to the devastation and destruction caused by a 7.9 earthquake in Pakistan that killed more than 500 people on September 24th; a new terrestrial body emerged from the depths of the sea off the coast of the country. Locally called Zalzala Jazeera [earthquake island], the formation is 380km from the quake’s epicenter in Paddi Zirr Bay near Swadar, Pakistan.

“The island is really just a big pile of mud from the seafloor that got pushed up. This area of the world seems to see so many of these features because the geology is correct for their formation. You need a shallow, buried layer of pressurized gas—methane, carbon dioxide, or something else—and fluids. When that layer becomes disturbed by seismic waves (like an earthquake), the gases and fluids become buoyant and rush to the surface, bringing the rock and mud with them,” Bill Barnhart, a geologist at the US Geological Survey told NASA’s Earth Observatory.

It was speculated by some international observers that UNETIDA/UNPASID weapons testing in the Arabian Sea on September 22nd may have lead to the massive earthquake. However Rear Admiral "Tridente"Carlos, Director of Naval Operations for UNETIDA/UNPASID denied the claim citing that the tests were carried too far away and in fact, closer to the Indian Ocean off the coast of Sri Lanka.

UNETIDA/UNPASID's Director of Research and Development, Dr. "Quantum" Pataal also confirmed that the weapons being tested were not capable of increasing tectonic stress. "What do you think we were trying to do? Create a sort of Cobra Island; a new sovereign nation from which to launch super-clandestine black operations around the globe without being answerable to any specific country's government? Nonsense!"

Image: NASA