Saturday, November 20, 2010

U.N.E.T.I.D.A denies existence of Mongo

In a press conference Friday afternoon Master Warrant Officer “Chatterbox” Hendrickx, UNETIDA Public Affairs Office, Belgium, assured those present that the exoplanet HIP 13044 b discovered by astronomers recently as being not from our galaxy, was not in fact the planet of Mongo as some had warned.

From popular accounts, it was understood that the activity of a planet appearing in our galaxy from elsewhere was similar activity to that reported of the Planet Mongo popularised in Flash Gordon lore and led to fears that the planet's ruler Emperor Ming The Merciless was on his way to destroy the Earth.

Handrickx stated that mainly the sheer size of the planetary body [1.25x the mass of Jupiter] excluded it from possibly being Mongo as by all known accounts, Mongo is in fact just half the diameter of Earth.

Hendrickx also quipped that the only people who should be fearful of Ming The Merciless were the people of Ireland [in reference to the self-styled Luke "Ming" Flanagan, a Roscommon County Councillor who seeks the legalisation of Cannabis].

22 comments:

vaughan said...

Deny away colonel but the damn thing is orbiting it's own dying star....it has it's own Star , the whole point of Mongo is that it scavenges other worlds to survive.
And it's only two thousand light years away, if U.N.E.T.I.D.A continues to deny it's existence if only to cover up it's own failure to spot it earlier than our skies may soon be be full of Mings Imperial bombers flying very carefully and slowly in semi circles in order not to snag the wires....you Colonel may want to be tortured through the arts of carnal pleasure by Mings highly attractive yet sexually frustrated and Highly gullible daughter Princess Aura but I as a proud Earthman most certainly do no..... oh wait, hang on!

Civilian Overseer said...

I heap scorn on what passes for content on this blog lately, you hear me Colonel?, up your damn game. Too much time spent chasing ginger tail not enough time on troop entertainment. There, I said it, it had to be said. Consider this a stinging rebuke.

Dahar Master said...

The Colonel is going out with Conan O'Brien?

Civilian Overseer said...

Well Spotted, Dahar, allow me to clarify the situation, the Colonel has previously stated both categorically & emphatically that he is indeed "WITH" Coco.

Colonel, Still silent on the surrender without a single shot being fired of Irish sovereignty to the dreaded Hun?. I take it that you are a supporter of a Federal Europe, when did you lose you patriotism?.

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, this is a dereliction of duty. I demand you fight back.

Dahar Master said...

All FineFailers are keeping quiet lately

Civilian Overseer said...

Yes, Dahar, I see where you're going, the Irish Political landscape could very well benefit from a good old fashioned stalinesque purge as you suggested.

Start compiling a list, I'll check it twice, just list the naughty, don't bother with the nice.

I note that Mr V. has been suspiciously quite on the subject...

Constance said...

Come on now, of course he's chasing tail. Redheads will be extinct by 2060. You gotta get it while the getting is good.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie,speaking as a half ginger or "day-walker", it's your duty to pass on those ginger genes to the future.

Constance said...

Well Civvy, as soon as you get those contributors lined up, you just let me know :)

Civilian Overseer said...

Ah Connie, as it's you, you must realize that it would simply take way too long to list all the potential suiters out there who would like to tap that, sure the queue itself would be over a mile long. No, We will have find a way to winnow out the chaff, how about We exclude anyone without a Phd and one term Presidents are straight out so Obama better get reelected if he wants to be in the running. ;)

Constance said...

I believe President Obama is out of the running anyway if you want more reds :)

Civilian Overseer said...

It would probably be unfair to cross the urbane coolness of the President with the fiery passion of a Coppertop, Why it would create a Room Temperature Ginger. ;)

Still chin up, Girl. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Constance said...

Oh, Civvy. Why am I now not sad that your namesake went on to his composty reward?

Civilian Overseer said...

Que?, because you're a big meanie and have girl germs? ;)

Constance said...

So what are you gonna do about it? Pull my pigtails?

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, Kinky!..., I love it. ;)

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, think We both shared way too much there. ;)

Constance said...

Sure, civvy. "We."

My word verification is mickh. Close enough.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie well really its all you fault leading me astray but I forgive you.

Constance said...

mmm hmmm. Sure and it's all me fault, "quiet man."

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards recover, Well done!.