Friday, March 05, 2010

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated"

-Mark Twain 1897.

Not that my obituary was published anywhere obviously, but still I know my legions of loyal fans were worried. While the circumstances of my illness must remain classified by the Pentagon for reasons of international security; I can tell you that I am indeed alive and well.

On Doctor's orders, I am to relax and recuperate as far from the hustle and bustle of both city and military life as possible amongst the pine trees and woodland creatures of zipcode OH 43152.

Please reply here, with any news items of interest or E-mail me same and I will begin to address the important issues upon my return on or about March 15th.

Ciao for now.

Whopper.

17 comments:

Former Grunt said...

Great News Colonel!

You deserve your rest. We'll hold the fort. Right lads?

The Whitehouse said...

Ahh, off to the woods to shoot some ******* (redacted for security reasons)

Have a nice 'break' Creedon.

Civilian Overseer said...

What is Grunt up to?

Bruce Russell said...

Chaos reigns. Bunker in ruins. Bugs everywhere. Former grunt has turned traitor. Civvy has established the Vichy Bunker. Small resistance force remains. Gridlock. Out of ammo. Orders?

vaughab said...

Holy CRAP!!!! IT IS 2P.M Tuesday and the Gardai in Waterford have arrested what is being reported as a Muslim hit Squad out looking for the Danish Cartoonist who drew the Image of the Prophet Mohammed .....the Colonel isn't gone two days and we are getting this crap??? Obviously we need the Whopper now more than ever!!!

vaughan said...

see the damn spell check doesn't work without the Colonel

Civilian Overseer said...

Bruce, I prefer the Tallyrand Bunker. ;)

Mr.V, the Colonel's doctor made it quite clear, We have to remove the Brain Slug before he can be returned to front line service We don't want another Wolf 359.

Bruce Russell said...

They're saying Waterford AND Cork City. Sweet slamdunking Elijuah!

Vaughan said...

Cork ?!?!!? Oh Great operating right under the Colonels Nose!....How do we even know it was this swedish Cartoonist they were after.....hang on of course the coded message "Reports of my death..." they were after the Colonel!It all makes sense now.

Civilian Overseer said...

Relax Gentlemen, Operation Rolf Harris is almost complete, We could not share the details with you before hand, as well, quite frankly, none of you can be trusted. Especially Grunt.

vaughan said...

Now Corey Haim is Dead.....the conspiracy grows deeper and deeper!
(Ironically my verification is Hater!)

Civilian Overseer said...

Mr.V, Why are you surprised?, Please note that I did say that operation "Rolf Harris" was almost complete.

On an entirely unrelated subject, are you still living in the same address?, haven't moved recently, have you?, We wouldn't want any mix ups now, the paper work is a nightmare to sort out.

former grunt said...

If I had known things were going to turn so nasty in the Colonel's absence. I'd have asked for the his missile key!!!

Civilian Overseer said...

Grunt, I'd advise caution, knowing the Colonel he might have a very different definition of missile than you do. Certainly don't ask for the key until you know what you're asking for. ;)

Bruce Russell said...

Like the cake, it's all a lie. The Colonel is really off taking physics tests. proof:

http://failblog.org/2010/03/09/physics-win/

vaughan said...

Jim Phelps...(Peter Graves) has died at his Home In LA, Why Colonel? Why? First Haim, now Graves and on your last day of Leave too . A pantheon of minor Hollywood stars breathe a sigh of relief at your leaving......until the next time!!!

Civilian Overseer said...

Mr.V, I believe the Colonel would tell you that Everybody needs a hobby