
This was a movie that was followed both on the 2IGTV website and on the 2IGTV show itself. I expect nothing from a video game franchise to a movie no matter what the budget nor who the producer, director or the cast is. And this movie won't change my opinion of that whatsoever. It's shit, but by God it's truly magnificent shit and has earned a place in my DVD collection.

The story was a load of hogwash and I'm not even going to try to explain it here as that would dignify it. The plot has more holes than my assault rifle target after a day on the range and if you were paying attention to it (and I'm not saying you should) you'll be left with a few questions once the end credits begin to scroll. "What the fuck happened to the guy in the bath?" is a biggie! Poor Skip Swordfish Woods probably didn't have a lot of material to work with as the 47 character by definition is an emotionless single-minded killing machine far better suited to the gaming world than on a movie screen where he essentially has to get ideas, form relationships and be "human". I hope Mr. Woods will be more faithful to the G.I.Joe characters he's written for the movie of that franchise.

Final verdict: A dumb movie aimed at dumber people who don't know that London is in England (you'll get that joke if you see the movie), it should have had more heavy-metal tunes instead of dialog, yet it will satisfy "longings for tough-guy posturing, sadistic violence, blatant misogyny and incoherent plotting"**, bring it on!
Colonel Creedon Rating: ****1/2
* He only directed French shit which doesn't count in the real world.
** Quoted from Jeffrey Westhoff, Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, IL).
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