(Left: Lt. Colonel Creedon with his own lightsaber, far from the insanity that is modern Britain)
The Home Office issued a consultation paper ahead of legislation intended to ban Samurai blades by the end of the year. In a bid to "protect the public", replica Samurai swords will become illegal to import, sell and hire in Britain.
The paper notes that genuine Samurai swords would not attract the same penalties, and there are also exemptions for other specific martial arts weapons (presumably Kendo, Iaido and Fencing), it's the cheap, easily available Samurai swords which are being used in crime and not the genuine, more expensive samurai swords which are of interest to collectors and martial art enthusiasts they're after.
For some reason Jedi fear that the Samurai ban would leave them exposed to future legislation against other forms of imitation weaponry, Jedi Temple (Neasden) spokesman Indi-Anna Jones warned: "The Samurai sword ban is only the first step toward compulsory lightsaber confiscations," he said. "the Jedi will be next."
However, not all the 390,000 British Jedi fear the government's reforms. "The proposals' suggested exemptions for groups such as the British Kendo Association should give us a loophole," claimed Jedi Bus-Qyu Simpson. "Everyone knows Jedi-hood is an 'ancient religion', founded long ago in a galaxy far, far away, so it should be safe from this legislation," he said.
The Colonel's Fun Facts:
- More than 390,000 Brits are practising Jedi, according to the 2001 census.
- Brighton is the country's principal centre of Jedi activity, with 6,480 professing to follow the faith.
- The most commonly used weapon in Britain is not a replica Samurai sword but the household carving knife.
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