Monday, March 26, 2007

300 Reasons To Go To The Cinema

I had read Frank Miller's sublime graphic novel some months before they announced that 300 was now going to me a movie. I was overjoyed, and I knew once I started seeing the production stills and trailers that they were going to do as good a job if not better than Sin City. I created this post last October to inform the world about this event. The world listened to my recommendation and the film has recieved high praise and unprecedented box-office success.

The story of 300 is largely irrelevant, it's not Shakespere (well the last 2 minutes is but I'll explain that in a jiffy) so don't expect long protracted scenes of dialogue like you saw in Gladiator. 300 is a balls-out combat movie with the most beautiful, almost balletic battle scenes ever caught on camera. Saving Private Ryan and Gladiator had frenetic battle scenes in their own right but those scenes were confusing as to who was doing the killing and who was dying for the most part until the dust and the fine red mist settled. 300 does not have this problem and in one of the most daring directorial moves in cinematic history, director Zack Snyder actually applied slo-mo to each and every kill- nay, every stab of a Spartan or Persian weapon be it sword, spear or axe was slowed before skewering through or slicing off a multitude of body parts in a glorious sea of red.

Snyder thankfully added a few extra bits in here and there; this was a good thing and necessary as one could read the 300 Graphic Novel in less time than a movie would be so even with slowing down the battles it needed a bit more. Thankfully that extra came in to form of Queen Gorgo played by the wonderful Lena Headey, whose role was extended to include her own battle the homefront against the Spartan elders and politicians stuck to their old traditions. Her dialog was in stark contrast to that of her husband King Leonidas played by Gerard Butler who had to channel Brian Blessed in order to speak. In fact, Gorgo's speech to the Spartan council should be used by the Republican party to justify the War On Terror and could recruit more troops for OIF. Faramir, beg your pardon, Dilios' speech told at the fireside on the eve of conflict in Millers novel became a rousing call to arms on the battlefied before the charge in the movie and would not have been out of place in a Shakesperian battle scene.

I'm not going to tall you how magnificent the make-up and special effects added to this almost religious experience and how fitting the the amazing score by Tyler Bates fits this epic tale, you'll have to see it yourselves. Seldom I can say that a movie is flawless, but that tag can most certainly be applied to 300, easily one of the greatest movies of all time.
Colonel Creedon rating: *****+

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You just like Big Butch Greek Men in skirts. Come on, admit it, "You're the only gay in the Marine Corp"

Anonymous said...

Although I hate to admit you were right but you did predict 300 would be 'very good' in your post from last year... you just didn't give it quite as much coverage as you have to Iron Man to date, which if all is to believed will overtake 300 as the best film in the world ever (in you opinon)!!

Anonymous said...

The one burning question that the Ironman film may answer, first asked by the greatest philosper of our age, Jerry Senfeld, "What does Ironman wear under the Suit?",
I notice the Lt.Col has been very quite on this issue. Why?

Anonymous said...

Hello?, Lt.Col,... Lt.Col, man down, man down!, we are missing one delusional nutcase. Suspected kidnapping by Neverwinter Nights 2. All Units beware this came is highly entertaining!

Major General Creedon said...

@ Civvy: You just want to see pictures of me in get-up like the Spartans don't you? It's not going to happen man. Deal with it and move on.

@ PF: I was very careful to say "one of the greatest films of all time". Nothing ever made has beaten RoboCop... yet.
I'm expecting a lot from Iron Man I admit. I predict that it will be better than The Punisher, Fantastic Four, DareDevil, Elektra, Ghost Rider, Superman Returns and X-Men: The Last Stand. I'd like to predict it'll out-do Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 and/or Batman Begins.
Time will tell...

@ Civvy (again): Usually a while vest, boxers and his socks but they don't often show him changing unless it's a new Iron Man suit. His latest suit is a synthetic metal hybrid layered against his skin so it's actually underneath his clothes, not the other way around! Seinfeld is an idiot who befriends racists, obviously not a fan of Shellhead!

@ Civvy (again x2): WTF? a third post here- have you even seen the 300 yet? LOL
Neverwinter Nights 2, excellent first act, fair 2nd act, engrossing 3rd act as you've correctly assumed from my abscence. Await the full review in April (hopefully).

Anonymous said...

His latest suit is a synthetic metal hybrid layered against his skin so it's actually underneath his clothes, not the other way around!

So if he wears the suit under his clothes, doesn't that mean that he does in fact wear nothing underneath the suit?!

Major General Creedon said...

Er... yeah I guess so...

Anonymous said...

O how the mighty have fallen!