Friday, November 30, 2007

20 Bullets for Teen - Part 12 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

A teenager in Brooklyn died in a hail of 20 bullets fired by police officers who thought he was holding a gun, authorities said Tuesday.

A 911 operator heard the teen yelling that he had a gun, police said. "The circumstances of how it occurred at this point is under investigation and you can rest assured that we will take this very seriously," said Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Officers received the 911 call from the teen's mother around 7 p.m. Monday, police spokesman Paul Browne said. When officers arrived at the Brooklyn apartment building, they could see the 18-year-old, Khiel Coppin, pacing inside the first-floor apartment. His mother was outside. The teen's mother had attempted to have him hospitalized earlier in the day on grounds of a history of mental illness.

The teen began screaming from a window at his mother and officers before climbing out of the window and heading toward the officers holding a black object in his hand, police said. The officers ordered him to stop, Browne said. When the teen refused and kept approaching them, they opened fire, he said.

Police said it was not immediately known how many of the 20 bullets struck Coppin, who was pronounced dead at a hospital. Investigators later discovered the object the teen was holding was a hairbrush.

The moral once again is: Don't say you have a gun and brandish a dark object at armed police-officers. It was a righteous kill. Case closed.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Beowulf: The Future Of Film-making.

In the future there will be no need of live actors. People will be scanned into the 3D system and talented voice performers will sit comfortably in recording booths performing their roles in front of a big LCD. I've time traveled a couple of times into the future now and both times, in both possible futures; this is reality. One can't stop it, even if you wanted to. Any why would you? Because after seeing the magnificent spectacle that is Beowulf, one cannot doubt that this is the ultimate extension of pure art.

This movie is based on the famous Old English epic poem about a Geatish hero Beowulf who becomes a Danish king. Naturally translated by the legendary Neil Sandman Gaiman and Roger Pulp Fiction Avery for the unique form of film that this would prove to be. There is obviously some liberty taken with certain aspects of the story to make it more acceptable for the Hollywood-loving masses.

Each frame of this movie is compelling. Just knowing that each bead of sweat, strand of straw or lick of flame has a separate algorithm is staggering. One of the things more easily noticeable on movies with live actors acting against a digital character or background is the fact that much of the time you know that all they were doing is talking to a green blob against a green screen. With this technology; the "actor" is right there in the picture because both he and the background are on the same level, there is no timing to get right or post production trickery to correct the actor's performance - everything is there and it's seamless.

The voice acting is extraordinary and many of the characters are actually 3D representation of the actors. Sir Anthony Hopkins has his squint, John Malkovich has his sneer and Angelina Jolie has her... her... everything you can hope for. I think the only liberty they took was with Ray Winstone who's a bit more portly in reality - but such is the advantage of this emerging technology - one can easily correct or enhance a human's shortcomings with little effort.

Robert Zemekis has finally managed to create believable looking characters (unlike Polar Express and Monster House) with the magic that is 3D. He has achieved this in only 7 years after beginning to adopt this technology which is beyond remarkable and inspires no end of confidence in the man to spend his remaining working years achieving true photorealism and infusing 3D characters with the soul they deserve.

I do have a problem with the rating for this movie. There is an abundance of thinly veiled sexual innuendo, the violence and blood was both graphic and abundant and let's face it Angelina is stark fuckin' naked. While these factors are most welcome and secure the final rating for this splendid movie, it should have a greater audience restriction than 12PG. It's as if the censor said: "This is just a boisterous cartoon. Nothing adult here."

Final Verdict: The future of film making is fast becoming a reality. Directors: Why search for a perfect actor if you can create one yourself? See this if you want to see a cracking good fantasy tale of magical beasts, swords and sorcery.

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Podge & Rodge: Irish Cultural Ambassadors

One cannot underestimate the contribution of intellectual giants, Podge & Rodge to Irish society. Beginning only as minor characters on Zig & Zag's children's daytime television show they graduated to becoming the Irish bedtime seanchaithe with their very own tales of lost honour, revenge, betrayal, lust and obligatory masturbation jokes.

In later years they've developed their very own talk show in which I've seen them reduce unsuspecting guests to sniveling wrecks, only finding their match with Brigitte Nielsen who tried to smother them both between her ample cleavage last year. Are they better than the perpetually wooden Pat Kenny? - absolutely.

Here is something from the lads that I'm sure will go down in history with the likes of Silent Night, White Christmas and Mary's Boy Child and truly sums up the evolution of our culture - I give you "There's a Dead Man Up The Chimney".

Thursday, November 22, 2007

UNETIDA warns of danger from new planet!

The United Nations Extra Terrestrial Invasion Defence Agency has been on high alert since a new planet was recently discovered orbiting a sun-like star 41 light years away, making it the first known planetary quintet outside our solar system, according to astronomers.

The newfound planet joins another four circling the star 55 Cancri in the constellation Cancer. Although it resides in the star's so-called habitable zone, a place where liquid water and mild temperatures should exist, it is more like Saturn than Earth and therefore not likely to support life.

Still, scientists have not ruled out the possibility of finding an Earth-like planet within the system as technology improves. "It's a system that appears to be packed with planets," said co-discoverer Debra Fischer, an astronomer at San Francisco State University.

"We can now say there are stars like the sun that have many worlds around them," said planetary scientist Jonathan Lunine of the University of Arizona, Tucson, who had no role in the discovery. The latest discovery shows that our solar system is not unique, scientists said.

"When you look up into the night sky and see the twinkling lights of stars, you can imagine with certainty that they have their own complement of planets," said astronomer Geoff Marcy of the University of California, Berkeley, who was part of the research.

UNETIDA Special Operations Director Lt. Colonel Creedon warned not to be so hasty in welcoming the new life-forms which will be inevitably found there or in a similar cluster elsewhere. "Scientists should leave the Big-Boys play with those "things" first, we know what we're doing," he said to press last week. Conspiracy nut jobs went apeshit as The Colonel clearly revealed he knew more than he was saying.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Prayers Answered: The Baroness will be hot!

Earlier in the nonth it was revealed that The Baroness was going to be a major player in the G.I. Joe movie. Naturally I suggested that we pray that "they'll get someone suitably hot to wear her leather". Constance even wrote the actual prayer which you can find here.

I was pleased to discover (and thanks to my former G.I. Joe CO Douglas for another confirmation) that Sienna Miller is the first confirmed cast member and will apparently "play the film's female lead, described as a raven-haired baroness and sexy femme fatale skilled in espionage" according to Variety (from that description I'm guessing Scarlett is being sidelined).

Expect a shedload of similar G.I. Joe casting revelations between now and February.

Source: Variety

Sarah Connor: Ready for some Pump-Action

When one comes across a picture of divine beauty, they should show it to the world...

I know what you're thinking; absolutely gorgeous. A foldover stock Remington 870 12-Gauge pump-action shotgun with a walnut foregrip. This picture makes me want to reach out and caress it lovingly.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles is scheduled to begin in Mid-January on Fox (dunno how the WGA strike effects it) and if the pilot is anything to go by then it should be good provided Fox don't shit-can it because it doesn't get higher ratings than 24.

Monday, November 19, 2007

American Gangster: Take a good snort!

I saw what sometimes looked like a Martin Scorcese movie this weekend, which is weird only because it was directed by Ridley Scott.

I could tell you that it was a masterpiece, an instant classic: but I'd be in error. It wasn't. Was it good? Yes. Had it been a Scorcese movie, it would have been somewhat sub-par like Casino, but it was a Ridley Scott movie who has normally been a hit (Black Hawk Down, Gladiator, G.I.Jane, Black Rain, Blade Runner) or miss (Matchstick Men, Hannibal, Alien, White Squall) director. But this is his first middle-of-the-road movie for me, the first time I'll debate if a Ridley Scott movie is to become part of the war-winning Creedon Collection.

I'm going to start with the negative this time and build it up to it's final rating. What I didn't like about this was that there was nothing supremely original about this whatsoever. We've all seen Afro-American "bad-dudes" in movies, disturbingly graphic scenes of drug abuse, corrupt cops, boyscout cops and even Armand Assante as a bad guy. Scott seemed to draw certain essences from the likes of Scorsese, DePalma and Copolla to craft a thick rick soup but it came up a weaker broth than it could have been with those ingredients, something went wrong ever so slightly and robbed what should have been something from the 21st century to stand among classics like Scarface, Goodfellas, The Godfather.

While quite a long movie, it's a tribute to Scott's talent that there was hardly a dull scenes throughout. I never worry about Denzel Washington in the acting department, he'll never let us down. I think that in a few scenes he was able to switch from Pacino to Pesci with relative ease but his character was expertly crafted as someone who succeeded because he didn't draw attention to himself. Crowe had a harder part in not straying too far from Lumet's Serpico but yet bringing depth to Richie Roberts a Cop charged with taking down the drug-lords, learing to be a lawyer and divorcing his wife all without too much support because of course no one likes a boyscout cop. It's still difficult to day which one of them is going for the Oscar, but if you can't tell, maybe that's good yes?

This movie feels like a 70's movie. The film is graded and washed a bit to evoke that feeling, yet retains the crispness afforded to the modern cinematic technology invented by George Lucas. It's exciting to all the senses visual and aural, the nuances of the police investigation paralleled the the drug importation made for gripping drama that one does not see too often. When the movie does turn violent, which is unfortunately not too often, it's real and brutal. Watch out for a scene where a cop takes out a bad-guy with a lump hammer - I actually felt that through the screen :)

Final Verdict: It's shocking to think even some of this is true. Scott expertly melds the spirit of the classic Drugs/Cops/Mafia movies into a quality tale that will keep you entertained, but it could have been more than the sum of it's parts.

Colonel Creedon Rating: ****

Friday, November 16, 2007

Hammerhead Is Down!

I'm rarely moved by episodic television. I think it's very difficult for TV production values to connect with someone like me emotionally. Me, someone who has lost... so many men in the field.

The last time I clasped my hands in front of my face and widened my eyes in sheer shock and horror was during the summer of 1994 when I was watching the second season finale of Star Trek Deep Space Nine. A Jem'Hadar warship destroyed the starship Odyssey with a Kamikaze run. It was most unexpected. But at the end of the day, it was just sci-fi and you kinda need something to happen in a season finale right?

However, I admit that I was completely unprepared for the unexpected loss of Sergeant First Class Hector Williams (callsign: Hammerhead) a character on the The Unit, a series with which I can obviously relate to. It came obviously unexpectedly at the end of just the 7th episode of the third series.

In the episode, as The Unit's medic, he patched Sergeant Grey back together on a kitchen table in Beruit. Some Marines showed up to rescue them (ain't that the truth) and The Unit piled into their transport but Hector got a sniper bullet through his neck and went down instantly. What followed (in part two - Episode 8 of the series) was easily one of the finest examples of television ever as each member of The Unit played his part in seeing his friend and colleague begin his journey home to rest forever without anybody knowing what really happened to him.

It serves as a moving tribute to all those who have fallen, but we can never know how.

The Unit will continue but Hector will be missed.

Rest easy soldier.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

2IGTV Episode 52

In our first Mega-Monthly episode we've got so much stuff that we'll never fit it all into this post... ...but we'll try:

Bad news for Brett Ratner fans, good news for sane people. God is assembling Star Wars writers to bring his religion to Television. AT&T attempt daylight robbery. Tara Reid ain't stupid like Hilton and Lohan. A release date is set for Wolverine but Bubba Nosferatu falls off our radar. Turok to returns and both the Green Lantern and Max Payne are coming to Hollywood. Stallone to butcher a sacred franchise and more news on the WGA strike and it's bleak future.

All this and much more, PLUS an announcement you've all been waiting for: we've given into your incessant demands.

Grab it here.

The Colonel On Youtube

The wonderfully creative Cubaboy has digitised RTEs broadcast signal of Valour into a splendid Youtube video available through his blog here.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Max Payne making a bullet-time leap to the big screen with guns akimbo!

Yes! Permanently constipated looking video-game film-noir style action hero Max Payne is being developed for the big screen.

From Variety: "Variety reports that Mark Wahlberg is in negotiations to star in 20th Century Fox's adaptation of the popular game about a "cop who is haunted by the tragic loss of his family and has little regard for rules as he investigates a series of mysterious murders." Irishman John Behind Enemy Lines Moore is set to direct, from a script by Beau Thorne."

The original Max Payne game (and it's sequel- Max Payne 2: The Fall Of Max Payne) was received well by critics with the PC and Xbox versions both achieving a high score on most gaming sites and magazines. A BBC review said the game "is an atmospheric third-person shooter, clearly inspired by the cinematography of John Woo films and The Matrix, with captivating graphics and edgy, action sequences." and praised the graphics, game play and detail in the game.

The two Max Payne game's narratives played out as a beautifully painted graphic novel with voice overs as opposed to traditional cut scenes. Between these scenes were the game's levels and action sequences which employed a heavy use of what is now known as bullet-time.

A couple of years ago, it was believed that the developers Remedy were working on Max Payne 3 for next-gen systems but later revealed that they were working on a new title: Alan Wake instead. While no official announcement was ever made, the Max Payne franchise is considered dead, or at least dormant.

Max Payne is #5 on Colonel Creedon's Top 10 Games Of All Time list. I guess if we can't have a third game then this movie will have to do us. More news when I have it.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

30 Days Of Night: "Glorious use of a tractor-mounted log-cutter!"

30 Days of Night is based another graphic novel of the same name. This one is about a Vampire attack on a small town. It's not a bog-standard Vampire flick/Survival horror story, this is actually frightening, something good 'ol Hollywood hasn't produced in many years. Josh Black Hawk Down Hartnett and Melissa Alias George are the protagonists, who along with a number of townsfolk are trapped in a town in Northern Alaska that experiences a month of perpetual darkness once a year.

Darkness is of course something that Vampires love and these are some of the most vicious Vampires you've ever seen on screen, none of that Buffy/Blade/Underworld silliness here - these are the real-deal. Highly intelligent, evil to the core and possessing an undying thirst for blood and lots of it!

This brings me to the ultimately satisfying level of gore and sheer violence in this movie. It was above my expectations; A pleasant welcome surprise in the form of head-crushing, beheading, dismemberment and glorious use of a tractor- mounted log cutter all contributed the movie's high rating. One particular scene involved a small seven-year-old girl (who had been turned) being on the receiving end of a large axe - magnificent.

Director David Slade abandoned some of the basic rules: not killing children and dogs. He did however present a wonderful Chekhov's gun in the form of a automated trash compactor with giant chomping jaws moving at lightening speed, Heh heh heh! Special mention should go to actor Ben Foster for cementing his "Deranged Psycho" typecasting as previously demonstrated in Hostage and 3:10 to Yuma.

Final Verdict: These Vampires Suck!!! Muahahahaha geddit? THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO!!!

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

Saturday, November 10, 2007


I visited the deck of the USS Intrepid berthed in New York on November 10th 2004, a part of a holiday with some friends. I met a Marine Staff Sergeant on board who was obviously just visiting himself, showing his gal around. My buddy approached him and requested that he pose with me for this photograph. I think he just wanted to see if the Sergeant would recognise me, I dunno. As we parted company following the photo session, I said "Happy Birthday," much to the confusion of our companions. He smiled "Thank you, God bless you!"

I was asked how I knew it was his birthday? "I feel it's mine too in a way," I answered.

Since creation of this blog, I've left this day's main post in the capable hands of the Commandant of the United States Marine Corps in the form of an unedited, unabridged ALMAR (All Marines bulletin). There is a difference today however, the current Commandant General James T. Conway has moved with the times as the Marine Corps has and has created the following video to play as he speaks. Also behold the opening narration from the legendary Sam Elliot speaking the words of Captain John Thomason.

Happy Birthday Marines

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The Colonel to appear on Irish National Television

On Monday November 12th as part of RTE2's "Shortscreen" series is the
Worldwide Television Premiere of John Vaughan's VALOUR.
Starring: Dave Duffy, Jonathan Ryan and ... ME!!!

Here is an excerpt from an interview in Empire done in Summer 2006:

Why were you hired for this movie Colonel:

"I'm of the belief that the director wanted some definable air of military authenticity to his production so I was hired to play the part of Private Leahy. I'm far from the cream of Ireland's acting talent boasting only that I went to the same school as Cillian Murphy (Laughter). The script was an absolute Jem, and that's what sold me. It was an honour to be a part of something which told an important fable about morals as well as highlight the unbelievable fighting conditions that these men lived through during "The Great War". They call men like me heroes now for terminating terrorists in Afghanistan and securing food and medical supplies for the starving populace of the Third World but these men that were portrayed in this film should be honoured for simply enduring their environment."

Tell us about Private Leahy, Colonel:

"My own character Private Leahy would hardly be considered a candidate for a medal as the script described him as a collector of enemy loot with an "insufferible smirk" whom had probably "never seen a German in his life" (Laughter). I think the director relished in the delicious irony of casting someone like me in this particular role (Laughter). Nevertheless I envisioned him as a charming young scamp, loved by all in his unit but sadly his innocence was brutally stripped from him as he was raped by the brutal war itself."

Do you think that you were robbed of a Best Supporting Actor nomination?

"Oh no, I don't think it would be correct to class me as a "supporting actor". Due to my own fame, it's more correct to say I make a "cameo appearance" really even though I'm credited. I'd call it akin to Ted Danson in Saving Private Ryan or Sean Connery in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. While I may only appear for 2.2 seconds, 6 minutes and 24 seconds into the film, it gave me ample time to flesh out my role as Leahy. The director gave me several attempts at evoking the pain and anguish that one of these poor souls went through, I won't spoil it as it appears on screen for you but I nailed it on the 4th take and received a standing ovation from the assembled cast and crew present. That is worth more than any award. Well maybe not my Navy Cross (Laughter).

John Vaughan's VALOUR will be shown following the 23:25 News (which follows Podge & Rodge) on RTE2 at approximately 23:55 as part of the Shortscreen series.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Eastern Promises: No "History"

After watching A History Of Violence on 2005, there was no way it wouldn't become part of "The Creedon Collection". While I never bothered with Cronenberg before that (only Scanners peaked my interest many years ago) I thought he was a bit to weird, like David Lynch; but A History... wasn't like that and thankfully neither is Eastern Promises.

Disappointingly though, Eastern Promises is only half as good. Admittadly, I'm not a great fan of movies that are about people on the other side of the law, wheather it glorifies them or not but I will say that this isn't your run-of-the-mill Mafia-type movie. While the story is expertly woven and made for compelling viewing, there just wasn't enough "meat" in it to chew on and it's pace is just too damn slow. While Viggo Mortensen is outstanding, he just doesn't have anyone to spar against dramatically as he did with the great Ed Harris in A History... (Harris actually won the Whopper Award for that particular role!!) Here Viggo plays the driver of a Russian Mafia crime boss in London who befriends a midwife played by the charming but dramatically redundant Naoimi Watts who is searching for infomation on the family of a 14-Year-Old Russian Jane Doe who died at childbirth so she can return the baby to them. The Russian boss is played underwhelmingly by Armin The Power Of One Mueller-Stahl who to be quite frank did much better in his brief role in The Peacemaker than all his screen time here. I will say that Vincent Cassel did his usual best with his part as Stahl's drunkard idiot son but the character was also handled badly and is forgettable.

Now even if it's true to life I found it moronic that an entire cadre of mafia-types hadn't one firearm between them- I don't want to see movies like this without guns it defeats the whole purpose (you can forget about explosions here too). That said there's a couple of well executed (pardon the pun - Ahem!) throat cuts using blades and even a stark naked Viggo is embroiled in a brutal and visceral bath-house brawl which is surprisingly un-homo erotic. Still between this and 300 I've seen far to much male flesh this year, I'm off to watch some lesbian porno now.

Final Verdict: Excellent performance from Viggo but brought down by poorly executed supporting characters. Brilliant knife use but brought down by lack of firearms in a movie that should have had them. Good story but slow and ultimatly failed to accomplish what A History of Violence did.

Colonel Creedon Verdict: ***

Sunday, November 04, 2007

More on G.I.Joe

Stuart Beattie’s script was turned in and Paramount are please with his revisions. Though there may be some polishing up to do, all indications are that the film will be everything that G.I.Joe fans have always wanted.

I have a few tidbits:
Like I said earlier, the Joe team, while still an international team, will be based in the United States.
The Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow story arch (Ninjas!!!!! Fuckin'-A!!) will be a main focal point and the “soul” of the film.
The villains are Destro and The Baroness (let us pray now that they'll get someone suitably hot to wear her leather yes?). Cobra Commander himself will have more of a “Emperor Palpatine”-like character arch. The Joes will be mainly facing a Cobra led by Destro and The Baroness (pictured).

But the main news is that Beattie has enlisted one of the staple groups of characters from the G.I. Joe comics and cartoons…the Dreadnoks. These mercenaries lead by the mysterious Zartan (and his brother and sister Zarana and Zandar) will be the hired muscle that Cobra will use in its day to day operations. Zartan is known for his martial arts ability as well as his mastery of disguise. Additionally, through genetic manipulation, Zartan is able to change the color of his skin to blend in with his surroundings. This is certainly more plausable than a fully uniformed Terrorist orginisation wreaking havoc upon the world I'm sure you'll agree.

No news on casting yet but I've heard George Clooney and Sam Worthington's named being bandied about. I'm sure we'll know all before filming starts February 13th 2008 for a 2009 release date for the $170m movie.

Source: ISEB, Variety

Friday, November 02, 2007

"The Man Who Won the War" passes.

On the morning of August 6th 1945, Colonel Paul Warfield Tibbets Jr. entered history by killing tens of thousands of Japanese in a single stroke; Piloting a B-29 bomber named after his mother, he dropped the deadliest weapon invented on Hiroshima.

Right: Tibbets (center) with his crew of the Enola Gay.

In the years that followed Tibbets was confounded by peoples perceptions that he was in some way disturbed by what he had done. He heard may urban legends about himself being on the verge of suicide, attending mental institutions and drinking himself silly each night since his "horrific act". In reality he had been promoted to Brigadier General and was commanding the National Crisis Center at the Pentagon before his retirement in 1966. Tibbets died at age 92 at his Columbus home after a two-month decline caused by a variety of health problems.

In 1976, he was criticised for re-enacting the bombing during an appearance at a Harlingen, Texas, air show. As he flew a B-29 Superfortress over the show, a bomb set off on the runway below created a mushroom cloud.

Former U.S. Sen. John Glenn, a former Marine fighter pilot, said people who criticised Tibbets for piloting the plane that dropped the bomb failed to recognize that an allied invasion of Japan, which the bomb helped avert, would have resulted in the deaths of several million people. "It wasn't his decision. It was a presidential decision, and he was an officer that carried out his duty," Glenn said. "It's a horrible weapon, but war is pretty horrible, too."

"I'm not proud that I killed 80,000 people, but I'm proud that I was able to start with nothing, plan it and have it work as perfectly as it did," Tibbets said once. "You've got to take stock and assess the situation at that time. We were at war. You use anything at your disposal. I sleep clearly every night."

"I think it's a disgrace that I never hear the word "hero" in conjunction with this man" said Lt. Colonel Creedon of UNETIDA. "I hope when the time comes to destroy a planet to prevent a war, there'll be people like Paul Tibbets who'll obey without conscience or question and perform their sworn duty. Amen."

Source: Yahoo News