SPEARHEAD sorry for "Vampire" shooting

SPEARHEAD has formally apologised for a botched operation in which a member of the town council of Binalonan, Pangasinan, Philippines was left critically injured.

Cllr Juan Lakarin is a member of the council who along with Mayor Ramon Guico III and fellow officials have been luring residents to a blood drive using social media and a sense of fun. Complete with fangs, capes and fake blood they're been posing as vampires and making social media videos for their off the wall marketing stunt designed to attract blood donors.

Unfortunately when an uninformed resident spotted Cllr Lakarin in costume they called the emergency services who routed the call to the SPEARHEAD field office in Manila who dispatched Counter-Vampire Strike Team - Epsilon who subsequently shot Cllr Lakarin with UV bullets.
 

"It was an honest mistake," said Master Warrant Officer “Chatterbox” Hendrickx of the SPEARHEAD Public Affairs office "and it's not like the worst thing that's happened in the Philippines recently, right?"

Vampire unearthed in Poland

In Kamien Pomorski, northwestern Poland, archaeologists have made the gristly discovery of a vampiric grave. A 16th century body was unearthed during a dig in a marketplace. The excavation team found a number of unusual features which indicated the grave site was somewhat unnatural. The body's teeth had been removed, a fragment of rock had been inserted into the mouth and to be sure he could not rise as undead - his leg was staked deep into the ground.

Dig leader Slawomir Gorka explained: "A piece of brick rubble in the mouth and pierced thigh indicates that it is a vampire burial. This was done not for him, but for the community, who lived here." Gorka added that the same rituals were common in burials in the area between the 13th and 17th centuries.

The origin of the vampire legend dates back to ancient Greece and Egypt. Dr Tim Beasley-Murray, a Slavonic studies lecturer at UCL, told the press that the myth spread up through the Balkans into eastern Europe where it was fertile in the pre-Christian era.

Captain “Barnacle” Strakovski, SPEARHEAD Special Operations Commander said that a counter-undead unit was dispatched to Kamien Pomorski to investigate but they reported no credible threat. Brigadier General “Whopper” Creedon, SPEARHEAD Assistant Commander for Intelligence and Information said that while some legends are apocryphal, "vampires and the undead as a whole are quite real" and it’s one of his department’s "most important tasks to maintain international belief that it’s all nothing but folklore" while simultaneously subliminally preparing civilians for "encounters with the unliving". Creedon has been vocal against "nonsense" like the Twilight saga and The Vampire Diaries as they have served to portray vampires as “sexy and cool” and not the true danger they represent as in "the more fact-based" 30 Days of Night and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Source: The Guardian / The Daily Mail / Kamienskie.info