Thursday, May 15, 2014

Vampire unearthed in Poland

In Kamien Pomorski, northwestern Poland, archaeologists have made the gristly discovery of a vampiric grave. A 16th century body was unearthed during a dig in a marketplace. The excavation team found a number of unusual features which indicated the grave site was somewhat unnatural. The body's teeth had been removed, a fragment of rock had been inserted into the mouth and to be sure he could not rise as undead - his leg was staked deep into the ground.

Dig leader Slawomir Gorka explained: "A piece of brick rubble in the mouth and pierced thigh indicates that it is a vampire burial. This was done not for him, but for the community, who lived here." Gorka added that the same rituals were common in burials in the area between the 13th and 17th centuries.

The origin of the vampire legend dates back to ancient Greece and Egypt. Dr Tim Beasley-Murray, a Slavonic studies lecturer at UCL, told the press that the myth spread up through the Balkans into eastern Europe where it was fertile in the pre-Christian era.

Captain “Barnacle” Strakovski, SPEARHEAD Special Operations Commander said that a counter-undead unit was dispatched to Kamien Pomorski to investigate but they reported no credible threat. Brigadier General “Whopper” Creedon, SPEARHEAD Assistant Commander for Intelligence and Information said that while some legends are apocryphal, "vampires and the undead as a whole are quite real" and it’s one of his department’s "most important tasks to maintain international belief that it’s all nothing but folklore" while simultaneously subliminally preparing civilians for "encounters with the unliving". Creedon has been vocal against "nonsense" like the Twilight saga and The Vampire Diaries as they have served to portray vampires as “sexy and cool” and not the true danger they represent as in "the more fact-based" 30 Days of Night and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Source: The Guardian / The Daily Mail /

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