Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I guess the Army will let anyone join now?

The whole post 911 security tightening measures notwithstanding; one would think after the Fort Hood incident that the US Army would have some measures in place to prevent fraudulent enlistment into their esteemed ranks.

Apparently Jesse Bernard Johnston III, a Texas man with no military experience save 12 weeks Marine JROTC course from which he dropped out in '04, tricked the Army into letting him join a reserve unit as, wait for it - a non-commissioned officer. Johnston, 26, joined the Army Reserve in February as a sergeant and was assigned to the Army's Corps Support Airplane Company, based at the Fort Worth Naval Air Station, that has seen action in Iraq.

Johnston's former wife said "he would attend military functions in Marine dress uniform and claimed to have served in Iraq." The Associated Press says it appears to be the first case of "stolen valor" involving the enlistment process. Most cases involve attempts to get veterans benefits fraudulently or to falsely claim medals.

"This just raises some incredibly significant issues at a time when this country is involved in a global war on terror," said Rep. Mike Coffman, a Colorado Republican who served with the Marines in Iraq and the first Gulf War. "If this person was able to penetrate the military fraudulently, you have to ask the question: Couldn't somebody who was out to do harm to our country do the same thing?"

Lt. Col. Maria Quon, spokeswoman for the Army's Human Resources Command, said her database contains an entry showing Johnston joined the military in 2002, but there are no documents to support the 2002 date. She described the lack of documentation as "unusual" and said it likely means the date was entered this year. The National Personnel Records Center, which collects information on all who have been discharged from the military said that it could find no evidence that Johnston ever served.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon of UNETIDA unleashed a damning tirade: "I was outraged to read about this goon today. Did you see the photo of him in the blues? It makes me puke that anyone can just buy a set of these in a surplus store and go around pretendin' he's some kinda hero. One look at his fruit salad will tell you his uniform had never been inspected, I see two glaring errors even at that resolution. I'd not have authorised him with a goddamn G.I.Joe club membership, let alone enlisted him as an E-5 in the Army. If the maggot wants to serve that badly, let him serve in Levenworth."

Source: D.Stanglin, AP via USA Today


Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, Arrange the following words in order. "Pot, Kettle, Black, The, The, Calling".

No wait, where you being ironic?, ;)

Pints said...

I can't beleive that there are any SADDO's who would pretend to be in the military when they are not....why pretend? Why would you want to be in the marines if you are not from the US??? Are there many people like that out there? God, it's a scary thought that one could be sitting right next to you and you wouldn't even know it! :-)

Oh By the way, the pot telephoned for you earlier, he asked to speak to Kettle Creedon, He says you're black! end of message!

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

I'm going to presume that you're both referring to the time I accidentally juxtaposed my pistol and rifle qualification badges on my uniform shirt in '06 and have no right to criticise him for putting his fake uniform together so sloppilly. Well I can, because the difference between this clown and a real jarhead is that a real marine could see his blunder and correct it before anyone notices [which no one did and I pointed it out myself].

@ Pints: [now that you've reverted to calling yourself that again]. Why pretend to be in the military when they are not? - Vetran's benefits, free admission and job placement are the usual excuses. Johnston's reason is the first of it's known kind.

Why would you want to be in the marines if you are not from the US??? Well this is the answer and I'll acknowledge it's probably better than my "unpublishable due to being almost completly classified" biography. Sometimes I curse being an international hero who has saved the world from Aliens - it's a story that can't be told :(

If you suspect that "one could be sitting right next to you and you wouldn't even know it!" ask them their service number. Sent it to me and I'll run it through the DOD database. We won't be long unmasking these wasters!

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, What is your service number? ;)

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

Due to the increasing spectre of internet identity theft, I'm afraid I'm unwilling to divulge that information in an open forum.

Civilian Overseer said...

That's alright, as someone with top, top secret access, you can use a secure channel to contact me. ;)