Monday, May 03, 2010

Hawking's Grim Warning

World-renowned astrophysicist, Professor Stephen Hawking has been thinking a lot about the cosmic question, "Are we alone?" The answer is probably not, he says.

In honor of NASA's 50th anniversary, the 66-year-old British cosmologist delivered a lecture at George Washington University last week and theorized that there are answers to whether there is extraterrestrial life. Some of his suggestions indicated that there was no life elsewhere, and we are alone or, as an extention of that; that there is there is no life elsewhere that is within our perception as intellegent life. He further suggested that if intelligent life existed - when it gets smart enough to send signals into space, it also is smart enough to make destructive nuclear weapons.

In a new documentary series for Discovery Channel, Hawking says that Earth is unlikely to be the only planet where life has evolved and “The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like.” While he theorizes that most will be microscopic organisms, a few life forms could be intelligent and pose a threat. He believes that contact with such a species could be devastating for humanity.

Simply meeting an alien could be deadly because alien life might not have DNA like us, Hawking warned: "Watch out if you would meet an alien. You could be infected with a disease with which you have no resistance." He also suggests that aliens might simply raid Earth for its resources and then move on: “We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach.”

Hawking concludes that trying to make contact with alien races is “a little too risky”. He said: “If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”

Hawking's warnings of an alien invasion have prompted a vigorous defence of extraterrestrials by their most prominent Canadian fan. Former federal defence minister Paul Hellyer, 86, believes not only that aliens have visited Earth but also that they have contributed greatly to human technological advances. "The reality is that they've been visiting Earth for decades and probably millennia and have contributed considerably to our knowledge," Hellyer said.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon of UNETIDA on the other hand seemed pleased with Hawking's theories. "I've had no greater vindication of what I do and why I continue to wear this uniform," he said following Hawking's lecture. The Colonel was later seen approaching the Professor who suffers from ALS and is confined to a wheelchair and placing a large brown envelope descretly behind Hawking's back before giving him a thumbs up. Hawking's electronic chuckle echoed throughout the room...

Stephen Hawking's Universe begins on the Discovery Channel on Sunday May 9 at 9pm

Source: MSNBC / CTV News / The Times / Christian Science Monitor / Constance

9 comments:

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, I believe the tax payers expect you to take care of any hobo-aliens that turn up.

Constance said...

Dude, NOMADS. Nomads bring their own camels. Hobos rely on others for transport. You're talking about something more Adamsesque, galactic hitchhikers. Which, according to Dr. Hawking, I will never get the opportunity to become.

Colonel Creedon said...

I agree with the distinction. The only hobos in space will [under that definition] be astronauts from the US as of next year.

But not to worry all aliens will be "taken care of," I assure you.

vaughan said...

Oh holy crap the Former Canadian defence minister opened the worlds first UFO landing pad ....He's been talking about the aliens and how they've been influencing all our technology since.....1967!?!?!? This man was once a potential candidate for Prime minister talking like this !!!..........jeez and they mock American Hillbillies who talk about abductions.Wasn't Canada one of the few countries that objected to the Colonels Appointment.
by the way Colonel I have the last of that transcript you wanted the "Conversation" you had with Prof.Hawking at UNITEDAS "Medical" research centre just before that announcement.

Hawking:pleeeaze....makke...it.....stopp...I'll.....saaaay...any..thing..youuu...wannnttt.....pleeeaze....I ...cannot....take...another....viewing...of...thizzzzz!

Uniteda Doctor: Colonel. we've been showing Professor Hawking Independence Day for the last twenty Four Hours continuously.

Colonel: And he'll watch it again and again until he knows what to say about the Alien Threat!

Uniteda Doctor: Dammit at least let me take the the tape keeping his eyes open off!

Colonel:Listen to me Doc, you'll do as I say or it'll be 2012 and you in the chair next.

Uniteda Doctor: My god you wouldn't ...you would...alright Colonel you win but I'm going to report this to my superior officer.

Colonel: But Doctor, that would be me!

Hawking: OHHHH....god...Judd...hirsch ....is ...playing....chess....with ...jeff...goldblum....again....pleazze...not...another....humourous...but....common....sense.....story....of ...life......aaaaaaaa......iiiiieeeee..

Colonel:Bwah hha hah ha!

Transcript ends

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, I stand corrected, I always felt a certain Trillianesque vibe about you.

Colonel, I expect that You will do your duty.

Mr.V, Complete fabrication.

Colonel, Make sure Mr V is next in the chair...

Constance said...

Well Mr. O, I don't want to brag, but I am in fact the proud owner of an inscribed copy of the latest installment of that very series. Signed by the author, to me, with the very imperative made famous by The Guide. A good hearted, considerate, thoughtful, handsome filmmaker very kindly acquired it for me!

As for you, Creedon! I'm counting on my boyfriend, Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, to whoop some Presidential butt.

In the meantime, my Russian lessons start next week.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, who is this handsome filmmaker of which you speak, I demand a signed copy as well!. ;)

Does Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Wife know about you? ;)

Constance said...

Look, if Liz Lemon can have an imaginary boyfriend (Astronaut Mike Dexter) then so can I!

If you plan on asking handsome men to for things, I suggest prettying up and shortening your skirt. low cut tops work too.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, What?!..., are you seriously telling me that women have figured out our kryptonite?...., hot women!

Colonel, We have a serious security leak here, someone, I'm looking at you Mr.V, has betrayed the brotherhood. Take care of it.