Monday, January 19, 2009

The Colonel: Reinstated

It appears I needn't have worried at all about my visit to The White House yesterday to see President Bush upon his return from Camp David. It was mostly all good. The President was was very glad to see me [once he remembered who I was]...

I was told to report to The Oval Office where I found the man himself and a White House staff photographer, one of a team that has been chronicling every moment of the 43rd President's last days in office. It was hard not to smile while I was rendering my salute to the Commander In Chief. I had seen a comment somewhere recently that that he often stands as to appear larger and tougher than he really is. "Lieutenant Colonel Creedon reporting as ordered Mister President," I announced. There was a pause as he regarded me for a moment then suddenly he snapped his fingers - "Hey! Hey - You're the guy who keeps Martians off my lawn."

The President examined the medals on my chest and then took a military decoration box from his desk "You don't got one of these already do you son?" he said, opening it to reveal the US Navy / Marine Corps Medal Of Honor. "Now normally there's like a big-ass ceremony that comes with this but they've classified the citation so no one can know why you're getting it," he said." Cheney said even I ain't allowed to know why either, but I'm guessin' it has something to do with there being no Martians on my lawn - Heh heh!" he laughed. Naturally I was speechless.

President Bush has been known to stab himself [or others] with a decoration's metal prongs, so one might be relieved that the Medal Of Honor is worn around the neck via a fastening button and therefore harmless - but this is not the case.

In his recent press conferences, President Bush admitted to some faults with the way certain things were handled under his administration. Some elements of the war in Iraq especially Abu Ghraib and at home with the Hurricane Katrina response. But apparently there was one error of his that he could correct - "I should have granted a pardon from that Court Martian - eh - Court Martial at the time" he said producing a small box with my old Colonel's insignia. "So you can have these back. Cheney says I need Congressional approval to give you stars, but they don't like me much no more in Congress so maybe that's something the new guy can do for you - heh heh heh!" he added.

As I was about to leave The President grabbed my Mameluke sword from it's scabbard and began waving it around yelling "Yee Haw!" and "There Can Be Only One!" before I managed to coax it back off him. He really is more sprightly than one might think as evidenced by his expert ducking of shoes in Iraq last month. I can say he seemed quite happy with the prospect of not being the President anymore come Tuesday.

7 comments:

Civilian Overseer said...

God Damn it.

Master Guns said...

I know Overseer, but having the Colonel reinstated even with a frikkin' MOH is a small price to pay for new leadership of the free world this week. Amen to Obama.

Alro said...

Priceless..

vaughan said...

one word ...Sweden...it explains everything!...but i've

constance said...

Vaughan! Noooo!!!

Masked Hitman 174 said...

*puts away silenced pistol*
Vaughan will be keeping his opinions to himself after that double-tap to his crotch.

PF said...

I have to say that I don't visit this site as much as I used to (now being a married man and all)but words fail me seeing these photos