Sunday, September 23, 2012

UNETIDA: "We shot nothing down"

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, Deputy Director for Intelligence UNETIDA/UNPASID gave a statement to the press on Saturday citing that on Friday September 21st, "a calibration test of Annihilator Five one of our secret orbital defence platforms may have accidentally initiated a misfire."

"This is not uncommon," offered Creedon. "However we assure you that during all calibration, the weapons are facing away from the planet and the moon. We can safely say that we shot nothing down, no satellite, space junk or space craft."

Creedon continued, "Concerning the recent media reports in the news media about a 'Yellow and orange ball'; we are quite sure this was just old space junk in a slowly decaying orbit that was just then finally coming to a planet fall. It's pure coincidence that this just happened at the same time as our calibration."

Creedon offered no explanation to reports of a flotilla of UNETIDA naval assets leaving port from HMNB Clyde under the command of Captain "Harpoon" Dutton, KBE seen heading out to sea in the direction of the 'trail of light' seen on Friday.


Vaughan said...

They came in peace, they left in pieces! You have no idea how long I wanted to write that!

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

I'm delighted I have enabled both an opportunity and a platform.