Friday, April 16, 2010

Natural Disaster or Deliberate Smokescreen?

Smoke billows from the volcano in Eyjafjallajokull, Iceland following a volcanic eruption, the second in less than a month. The heat from it is so fierce it melted part of the glacier, sparking huge floods. Emergency officials in Iceland are evacuating hundreds of people as new flash floods endanger farms in the area. Weather experts also said the ash could take a number of days to disperse.

This morning the ash swept down towards Western Europe prompting to ground all air travel to and from The UK, Ireland and other airports in Europe. Flights across Northern America are also affected. Advisory charts from the Volcanic Ash Advisory Centre show the dust dispersion spreading widely across Europe by the early morning. The images, hosted by the British Met Office, show coverage as far south as Italy and heading west towards Russia by 07:00 BST.

There were also a number of theories voiced in the media as to how or why this has happened and why it has done so now. Among them: A Prelude to an Alien invasion and "a government" using the ash cloud as cover to conceal a massive naval operation possibly involving the transportation of materials to construct a sub-aqua installation.

A number of facts to support the latter were known as of Midday today. On Wednesday April 14th a B-2 Spirit with a UNETIDA transponder was seen departing from RAF Fairford, Gloucestershire, England. 45 minutes after British National Air Traffic Services ordered all aircraft grounded on Thursday April 15th, "a fleet of articulated trucks" was observed delivering to The Royal Naval Base Clyde, Scotland with a small flotilla departing at 13:00. Furthermore at approximately the same time in Bergen, Norway, a flotilla of Naval vessels was observed departing from Haakonsvern Naval Station on a course bearing towards the Faeroe islands, it is believed, but unsubstantiated that Contraalmirante "Tridente" Carlos, UNETIDA's Naval Operations Commander was personally commanding the flotilla. When pressed for comment Captain “Harpoon” Dutton, Commander, UNETIDA Naval Tactical Support responded "No!"

Brigadier General “Ballista” Jackson, UNETIDA Missile Defence Commander [Northern] allayed the alien invasion fears "..yes its true that most of Europe and parts of Russia would indeed have little or no air interception capability presently. We have full satellite operations to direct our Eradicator missiles and also access to NATO's Active Layered Theater Ballistic Missile Defense System."

However most of the people upset by the events of today, were far more concerned with not being able to fly somewhere as opposed to being wiped off the face of the planet by aliens "Why don't they just build bigger planes?" one inbred yokel said to RTE News when they discovered that ash was preventing aircraft from travelling. A similar "genius" was interviewed by the BBC last evening, saying: "It's so stupid there's no ash on the ground. Why can't they just fly the planes just above the ground?"

Sources: Sky News / BBC News / Fox News / CNN / Yahoo News / RTE News
Conspiracy sources: Vaughan / Jim H

8 comments:

Bruce Russell said...

So... I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But the most damning thing of all... I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again - I would. Garak was right about one thing: a guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of the Alpha Quadrant. So I will learn to live with it... Because I can live with it... I can live with it... Computer - erase that entire personal log.

vaughan said...

I'm sure this has nothing to do with Operation "Last Chance!"...by the way Colonel what ever happened to those Volcano Bomb blue prints?

Civilian Overseer said...

You Fools!, obviously it's an adult version of that Frostbeastie that the Colonel killed with a stick on vacation earlier this year.

Anonymous said...

oh my gawwwd , do you mean the Colonels got us all involved in a utterly futile sequel....the fool , the foolish fool, quickly everyone start practicing saying through gritted teeth "Paybacks a Bitch....and she's in heat!"

vaughan said...

I left that last comment and can I just say I'm tradmarking that quote ...

Civilian Overseer said...

Yes, Mr.V, it appears the Colonel's irresponsible actions whilst on vacation have indeed brought us to this sorry state.

And to top it all off he accidentally misplaced the top secret Volcano bomb blueprints whilst on a diplomatic mission to Iran. Funnily enough, immediately after that trip the Bunker got upgraded with a new swimming pool and entertainment center. Hmmmm....

vaughan said...

Civvie
HOW DARE YOU! How Dare you insinuate that the colonel was somehow involved with that...he came across the Pool and Entertainment legally using the UNITEIDA entertainment fund...the next thing you'll be insuating is that Alfredo the Colonels Loyal Fillipino pool boy and UNIETIDA'S spunky underage and illegal mascot is somehow involved....dammnit sir aren't the child endangerment accusations enough for you?!?!?

Civilian Overseer said...

Mr.V, Perhaps you are familiar with the phrase "he who dares, wins"?, aside from that, I insinuated..., nothing. I think you'll find that I was merely stating two facts whose close timing I found amusing, is it a crime to be amused?, if so, well then I am guilty!, Guilty of having a cheery deposition and looking on the bright side of life!. If only more people where like me, the world would be a better place.

As for Alfredo, your insinuations that the Colonel is somehow associated with the leisure activities of the Catholic Church are completely unfounded.