Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Colonel in Egypt - Part 4: What Lies Beneath the Sand?

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon concluded a visit to Egypt last week by meeting up with an advance UNETIDA/UNPASID Security and Intelligence team near a “site of interest” in Upper Egypt, just 12 miles from the city of Abu Sidhum along the Nile.

Last year Angela Micol, an amateur satellite archaeologist in North Carolina noticed mysterious, pyramid-like structures in the Egyptian desert using Google Earth. Speculation arose that the structures may in fact be long-lost pyramids after puzzling features were uncovered during a preliminary ground proofing expedition revealing cavities and shafts. Micol said “that these formations are labelled as pyramids on several old and rare maps." A second possible pyramid complex 90 miles north near the Fayum oasis, revealed a four-sided, truncated mound approximately 150 feet wide and three smaller mounds in a diagonal alignment. "The images speak for themselves," Micol said when she first announced her findings. "It's very obvious what the sites may contain, but field research is needed to verify they are, in fact, pyramids."

First reported by Discovery News, Micol’s claim gained widespread media attention and much criticism as authoritative geologists and geo-archaeologists were largely sceptical and dismissed what she called "Google Earth anomalies" as windswept natural rock formations quite common in the Egyptian desert. However Medhat Kamal El-Kady, former ambassador to the Sultanate of Oman, and his wife Haidy Farouk Abdel-Hamid, former counsellor at the Egyptian presidency are top collectors of old maps and documents and revealed among their collection is a map by Robert de Vaugoudy, dating from 1753, a rare map by the engineers of Napoleon Bonaparte, and a map and documents by Major Brown, general of irrigation for Lower Egypt in the late 1880s all concerning the site at Fayum. "They would be the greatest pyramids known to mankind," the couple said. "We would not exaggerate if we said the finding can overshadow the Pyramids of Giza."

What worried UNETIDA/UNPASID officials was that the evidence presented, indicates the pyramids at the Fayum site were intentionally buried in a "damnatio memoriae" -- an attempt to intentionally strike them from memory. “They are not spoken about, nor had any Egyptian in the field of archaeology been investigating them” said Colonel Creedon. "It’s therefore a valid assumption to assume that they’ve been erased from records to an extraordinary degree, save the old maps.” Creedon further outlined that it was likely that some terrible event or disaster was responsible for this to happen and it may be conceivable that the pyramid sites in question had been buried intentionally. "If there is something buried there that still poses a threat" assured the Colonel "We'll be ready for it!"

General "Stomper" Santorno, Director of UNETIDA/UNPASID told the Security Council that due to the unrest and economic distress in Egypt his organisation has a unique chance to neutralise any new potential threat unearthed at the sites without any interference from the Egyptian government “who have their own problems right now.”

Sources: FOX News /  AP / Discovery

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Centarian goes down! - Part 22 in my "Shoot First, Questions Never" series!

We've seen a couple of 18 year olds, even a poor 13 year old and at the other end of the stick we've seen elderly folk in their 70's all get gunned down by the boys in blue - all justified of course. This is a bit of a record as we now have a 107 year old taken out in a dramatic fashion by a local SWAT team during a short siege on Saturday.

The local PD at Pine Bluff, Arkansas, announced that they had responded to a complaint of aggravated assault against suspect Monroe Isadore, who allegedly pointed a gun at two people at a home on West 16th Street. When they approached the bedroom door where the man was holed up, he fired one shot through the door, thankfully missing them.

The SWAT team was called in and negotiations with Mr. Isadore began. The SWAT team confirmed that the elderly man was armed with a handgun by inserting a camera into the bedroom through a window.

After negotiations were ultimately unsuccessful, the SWAT team pumped gas in the room from outside the bedroom window, hoping that Isadore would surrender peacefully. Instead, the suspect fired additional shots at the SWAT entry team, who flashbanged the room after breaching the door. Isadore continued shooting at the entry team, who had no choice but to finally shoot and kill him.

Verdict: Righteous kill. Just because a man is 107 years old and probably has dementia doesn’t diminish the real threat posed by someone firing real bullets. It appears that everything was done to try to resolve the situation peacefully and there was sadly no other recourse.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


On September 11. 2001, hijacked American Flight 77 struck the Pentagon killing 184.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Colonel in Egypt - Part 3: The Spy Stork

Two weeks ago a man in Egypt’s Qena governorate, some 450km southeast of Cairo, found a suspicious stork among four others near his home and brought them to the police. It made headlines because an electronic device was attached to it's wing and the bird was immediately suspected of being a spy in the security heightened country as the practice of using birds in this manner is not unheard of.

On August 31st, a veterinary committee called in by officials, determined the device was neither a bomb nor a spying device but a wildlife tracker used by french scientists to follow the movement of migrating birds. Ayman Abdallah, head of Qena veterinary services said the device stopped working when the bird crossed the border.

The stork remained incarcerated in the police station until September 4th when it was visited by a number of unidentified officials with UN identification. Although unconfirmed, it was believed that among them was Colonel "Whopper" Creedon of UNETIDA/UNPASID who was known to be in the country. The Stork was released later that day according to Al Jazeera.

It was reported by most major news outlets yesterday that the stork's body was discovered on an island in the Nile, south of the ancient city of Aswan on Saturday, September 7th. Reports are that local villagers killed and ate it - therefore FOWL PLAY IS SUSPECTED!

Sources: The Guardian / Mail Online / Sky News / FOX News / Al Jazeera

Monday, September 09, 2013

8 Years of Whopper's Bunker

That's right people, it's yet another Birthday for the Bunker. The first post to the blog [then The Colonel's Eagle] was Friday, September 9th 2005.

Thanks to all who have helped me and all those who just come to read this nonsense over the past 8 years. More years to follow, stay tuned.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, Sep. 9th 2013.

Friday, September 06, 2013

The Colonel in Egypt - Part 2: The Anubis Bunker

The UNETIDA/UNPASID Director of Intelligence Colonel “Whopper” Creedon continued a visit this week to Egypt by visiting the joint UNETIDA/UNPASID “Anubis Bunker” near Giza, for it’s 40th anniversary. The Anubis Bunker is a facility designed to monitor, combat and contain a higher than planet-normal degree of both Extra Terrestrial and Paranormal activity in the area of the Great Pyramids.

In a speech at the facility, Creedon, tapped earlier in the year for his first star, told assembled operatives: “To be quite honest, I tried to get new traction on an old report written for the UNSC years ago suggesting that we just destroy the Pyramids, the Sphinx and all the tombs with high yield nuclear weapons,” he said. “But to no avail. At the time it would have saved almost US$20Bn over the years, but it was immediately condemned by the Egyptians, the international archaeological council and by pretty much everyone who has never actually come face to face with a risen undead Egyptian lord of something-or-other hell bent on the death of all living things” bemoaned Creedon. “We have plenty of evidence to prove that humans didn’t actually build the bloody things in the first place so I fail to see what the issue is with reducing them to driveway gravel.”

Rather than destroy the monuments at Giza, UNETIDA and UNPASID instead created one of their only joint sites actually inside an ancient tomb in the late 1960’s. “In retrospect that wasn’t the best idea to be honest” said Creedon. “Everyone involved in the construction of the original site died in a series of horrific accidents which we later attributed to a Mummy curse. So we built a conventionally constructed bunker in 1973 instead without disturbing several-thousand year old remains.”

Creedon continued his speech by assuring the Anubis Bunker staff that despite the political upheaval in Egypt at the moment, the interim government is committed to maintaining and supporting the facility and he had been assured by General al-Sisi that UNETIDA/UNPASID could count on his continued co-operation as Deputy Prime Minister. The Colonel’s speech was concluded by thanking the staff for their continued efforts in suppressing the supernatural presence of the ancient tombs and being vigilant against Extra Terrestrial intelligence gatherers. Colonel Creedon reiterated the Anubis Bunker’s long standing instantaneous termination policy against all intruders within 100 meters of the hidden entrance citing no difference between grave robbers or lost tourists – "No one can know what goes on here, NO ONE! You have your orders.”

Thursday, September 05, 2013

The Colonel in Egypt - Part 1: Minister Al-Sisi

The UNETIDA/UNPASID Director of Intelligence Colonel “Whopper” Creedon met recently with General Abdel Fattah al-Sisi the commander of the Egyptian Armed Forces/Minister for Defence now also Deputy Prime Minister who in July took part in an unscheduled change in government to oust President Mohammad Morsi from office. Creedon was visiting the joint UNETIDA/UNPASID “Anubis Bunker” near Giza, and wanted to affirm the facility’s importance to the General during his country’s "time of transition".

It is believed Creedon was sent because both officers are charismatic, telegenic and enjoy a "cult of personality" in their respective spheres of influence as well as being prone to passionate speeches. They have much in common as they both attended top level military schools in the U.S., both were the heads of intelligence for their respective organisations and each have been directly responsible for the deaths of over a thousand people in one event - al-Sisi for his clearing of the Muslim Brotherhood sit-ins and Creedon for his accidental remote detonation of a UNETIDA "PLAN-Z" device in a suburb of Paris over a decade ago.
General al-Sisi underscored his desire for peaceful resolution of the ongoing protests, and reiterated commitment to supporting UNETIDA/UNPASID's continued presence in Egypt as well as the mission of the Anubis Bunker. The Anubis Bunker is a facility designed to monitor, combat and contain a higher than planet-normal degree of both Extra Terrestrial and Paranormal activity in the area of the Great Pyramids and is celebrating it’s 40th anniversary of operation this month.