Thursday, November 22, 2007

UNETIDA warns of danger from new planet!

The United Nations Extra Terrestrial Invasion Defence Agency has been on high alert since a new planet was recently discovered orbiting a sun-like star 41 light years away, making it the first known planetary quintet outside our solar system, according to astronomers.

The newfound planet joins another four circling the star 55 Cancri in the constellation Cancer. Although it resides in the star's so-called habitable zone, a place where liquid water and mild temperatures should exist, it is more like Saturn than Earth and therefore not likely to support life.

Still, scientists have not ruled out the possibility of finding an Earth-like planet within the system as technology improves. "It's a system that appears to be packed with planets," said co-discoverer Debra Fischer, an astronomer at San Francisco State University.

"We can now say there are stars like the sun that have many worlds around them," said planetary scientist Jonathan Lunine of the University of Arizona, Tucson, who had no role in the discovery. The latest discovery shows that our solar system is not unique, scientists said.

"When you look up into the night sky and see the twinkling lights of stars, you can imagine with certainty that they have their own complement of planets," said astronomer Geoff Marcy of the University of California, Berkeley, who was part of the research.

UNETIDA Special Operations Director Lt. Colonel Creedon warned not to be so hasty in welcoming the new life-forms which will be inevitably found there or in a similar cluster elsewhere. "Scientists should leave the Big-Boys play with those "things" first, we know what we're doing," he said to press last week. Conspiracy nut jobs went apeshit as The Colonel clearly revealed he knew more than he was saying.

14 comments:

CivilianOverseer said...

Damn Bugs!, Lt.Col one thing is for sure, We'll need bigger guns.

Cubaboy said...

I dunno about you but I'm still worried about the Clingons near uranus. They fucking stink they do. And why is the planet brown?? I heard the martians call it the cess pit of the universe. You know what they say, it goes in a sweet corn but it comes out as corn on the cob!

I dunno, maybe it's all just a pile of shit!

sith apologist said...

uh ... does this mean I'm going to be recalled to active duty?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Sithy: No, not yet. We'll let you know when the time comes...

Bruce Russell said...

The visitors are our friends . . .

Very excited we may find a 'Goldilocks' planet in my lifetime . . .

Civilian Overseer said...

The visitors are our friends . . . Bruce thats exactly what the French said about the Germans in 1939. You're not a cheese eating surrender monkey, are you?

Lt.Col, Bruce has been infected, he must be purged. You know what to do.

Bruce Russell said...

They bring us peace. They bring us . . . love.

sith apologist said...

To reiterate Overseer and slightly misquote a wise man ...

"We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Lt.Col Creedon, do not hesitate, show no mercy"

Civilian Overseer said...

Sithy, are you grooming the Lt.Col as your next apprentice?

sith apologist said...

Well the 'Goldilocks' planet is hardly a trip to the Temple :-)

Civilian Overseer said...

Sithy When do you estimate that the Lt.Col will give into his anger and become your young apprentice? ;)

Civilian Overseer said...

Sithy on a far more serious note what would the Lt.Col's Sith name be?, Darth Whopper?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

If I was so inclined I'd be Darth Scythe. But as I'm unfortunately Sithy's elder I reckon I wouldn't make much of a "young" apprentice.

sith apologist said...

You'll do until a younger, more powerful apprentice comes along, Darth Incompetus
lol