Friday, May 04, 2012

$1000 Scientific Gold could be a potential Alien Threat!

A meteor the size of a minivan exploded over northern California on the morning of April 22nd raining tiny fragments of a rare type of meteorite debris down over the Sierra Nevada towns of Coloma and Lotus. Since then, much like the gold rush that took place there over 150 years ago, people have flocked to the area in the hope of collecting some fragments which on the open market could fetch over $1000!

“People used to pull the gold out of the ground. Now, things fall out of the sky,” NASA research astrophysicist Scott Sandford said. “Lucky place, I guess.” The meteor fragments are the first of their kind to fall to the Earth since the '60's and the particles inside are older than the sun itself so they are of extreme importance to scientists.

CM type carbonaceous chondrite fragment. Photo credit: Earthweek
Robert Ward a 35-year-old professional meteorite hunter and dealer, drove for 16 hours and spotted a dark space pebble in the parking lot where he finally stopped. He immediately recognized it as carbonaceous chondrite, meteorites containing water and carbon — scientific gold to those studying the beginnings of the universe. "I was trembling," Ward said. "It's the rarest of the rare. It's older than the sun. It holds the building blocks of life."

“Oh they hold life alright!” said Dr. “Quantum” Pataal, Director of UNETIDA Research and Development “but not the kind we want living here!” But if UNETIDA know that the fragments could be potentially dangerous, then why allow them to be picked up and traded by civilians? “We used to have the budget for media warnings where we would claim that meteorites were ‘highly irradiated’ and have collection teams scan the area to pick them up,” said  Colonel “Whopper” Creedon, Acting Director of Intelligence for UNETIDA. Sadly in a clear sign that military funding for propaganda campaigns and scientific research was running dry; Creedon revealed that UNETIDA are basically using the civilian gatherers as potential bait for alien spores that are suspected to be inside the fragments. Creedon offered that instead of trying to collect all the meteorites themselves, it’s much easier for UNETIDA to hunt down whatever the alien spores transform the meteorite collectors into, as well as being “a lot more fun!”

Sources: CNN / L.A. Times / BBC News


Anonymous said...

thizz storieee is nuthing more....than scaremongering. I mean..I purchased sume of onthe net...and...I'm purfectly finee...I mean teeth fall out all the time!

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

Of couse you are sir. Please stay indoors. We're tracking your IP address now and we'll be with you momentarily.