Saturday, April 14, 2012

Kim Jong-un! More limp-dicked than daddy?

North Korea's latest attempt to launch a long-range rocket has once again ended in a complete failure. The reclusive country's new young leader Kim Jong-un has proved himself as impotent as his father – maybe even more so as in an unprecedented move – he admitted failure!

Embarrassingly, North Korea’s rocket flew for between 1.5 and 2 minutes covering a just over 100km before exploding over the Yellow Sea. This was much less than the last rocket in 2009 that overflew Japan. North Korea said its much hyped long-range rocket launch failed and the state now faces international outrage over the attempt.

The epic fail immediately raised questions over the impoverished nation's reclusive leadership which maintains one of the world's largest standing armies but which cannot feed its people without outside aid, largely from its solitary powerful backer, China. "The failed launch turns speculation toward the ramifications for the leadership in Pyongyang: a fireworks display gone bad on the biggest day of the year," said Scott Snyder of the Council on Foreign Relations.

The uncharacteristic admission of failure by the DPRK to 23 million people watching a state TV broadcast last night is a major discussion point however. "It could be indication of subtle change in the  leadership in how they handle these things, something that may be different from the past," said Baek Seung-joo of the Korea Institute of Defense Analyses. “It would have been unthinkable for them to admit this kind of failure in the past. The decision to have come out with the admission had to come from Kim Jong-un."

More importantly the launch is in breach of United Nations Security Council resolution 1874 and drew condemnation from the United States, Russia, Japan and South Korea and threats to tighten the already harsh sanctions aimed at stopping Pyongyang developing nuclear weapons. The concern is that they’re using launches to perfect the technology that would enable them to construct a warhead delivery system capable of striking the United States. North Korea has repeatedly defended its right to launch rockets for what it says are peaceful purposes and may have invested hundreds of millions of dollars in this latest failed attempt.

UNETIDA, who some conspiracy theorists believe prevented N.Korea’s previous launches has denied using their orbital “Skyshield” laser to destroy the North Korean rocket. “We were monitoring the situation closely and while we do have some broad-ranging powers to use Skyshield to defend and protect our trans-atmospheric technological infrastructure, we did not need take any preventative action against the feeble attempts of North Korea to make an orbital launch” said Colonel “Rockets” Thompson UNETIDA’s Missile Defence Commander. “Seriously, they’d have more luck trying to launch a satellite using a hot air balloon!”

The North American Aerospace Defense Command, NORAD, said the first stage rocket broke up in mid-flight inside the Earth's atmosphere and fell into the sea west of South Korea, and the remainder was deemed to have failed. "No debris fell on land," NORAD said. "At no time were the missile or the resultant debris a threat. The White House released a statement condemning the launch, saying: "Despite the failure of its attempted missile launch, North Korea's provocative action threatens regional security, violates international law and contravenes its own recent commitments." In response to the launch, Washington announced it was suspending plans to contribute food aid to the North in exchange for a rollback of its nuclear programs.

Source: Reuters / FOX News

1 comment:

VAUGHAN said...

Hmmm so nothing to do with your disasterous "Earthquake" gun Tests that happened earlier this week in the Pacific Basin...dammit Colonel you told me Uniteda couldn't vibrate Targets out of the sky...yet!