Thursday, December 08, 2011

Mercury Invaded!

An Extra Terrestrial spacecraft is currently in orbit of the planet Mercury possibly sending in ground forces to establish a permanent staging area from which to launch an assault on Earth.

That was the chilling revelation from Rear Admiral "Smokestack" Henderson Acting Director of UNETIDA speaking from the UN in New York this afternoon. Henderson said he had received actionable intelligence that there could be an imminent threat in our own solar system.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon Acting Director of Intelligence, UNETIDA revealed images of a gigantic object almost the size of Mercury itself which has appeared on both astronomers and UNETIDA extra-planetary surveillance officers' screens lurking near the planet."The only explanation is that it's a cloaked Extra Terrestrial craft the size of the Death Star from Star Wars" said Colonel Creedon. "I mean what else could it be?"

The Colonel theorizes that the craft secretly is offloading troops and war machines including inter-planetary missile launchers which may deliver payloads loaded with personnel "like in Quake 2" or warheads capable of completely obliterating our planet."If they have the technology to get here and cloak themselves, we have to assume that the −183 °C to 427 °C temperatures won't be much of an issue for them," he added.

Admiral Henderson was at the UN to ask for increased funding to the tune of  US$5.5 Trillion for UNETIDA space defence projects including a number of first strike initiatives designed to prevent attacks on the Earth by eliminating the enemy first. It is assumed Colonel Creedon's trademark "theatrical scaremongering" will secure the much needed budget.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon reveals a cloaked alien craft near Mercury.

Source: Civilian Overseer / The Daily Mail


Former Grunt said...

Who the hell is Rear Admiral "Smokestack" Henderson? What happened Albatross?

Civilian Overseer said...

Albatross was.... unlucky...'nough said.

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

Air Vice Marshal “Albatross” Davenport III has retired after a long and distinguished career with the RAF and UNETIDA. We wish him well in his future.

The UN Special Investigation Comittee are continuing to carry out their enquiries and until them the new permanent staff appointments [including mine] are on hold and we are holding office on an "acting" basis.

Until a new director is appointed, UNETIDA's Chief of Staff RADM Henderson will assume the duties of Director.

Civilian Overseer said...

retired... with extreme prejudice, eh? Colonel