Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Next Year... STALLONE.... will be.... VAN DAMAGED!!!!

That's just one of the cheesy promo lines that I wish Don LaFontaine was still with us to deliver during an Expendables 2 teaser trailer. And it's true, Sylvester Stallone himself has confirmed that he will be battling "The Muscles from Brussels" himself - Jean-Claude Van Damme on screen in the sequel to one of the greatest action movies in history, The Expendables.

JCVD turned down Sly's offer to appear in the original because Stallone could not tell Van Damme who his character was. Obviously this time there was more fleshed out before offers were made because we understand from Stallone that: "We'll have a big showdown between me and Jean-Claude Van Damme, which has been anticipated for a long time, so it should be a good one."

This is almost the greatest news ever until we realise that not only is JCVD on board but Stallone has also apparently secured the legendary CHUCK NORRIS to appear. The first thought you have may be forgiven because, as you know, if Norris is the bad guy, then he could never be beaten and the villains would win but if he's a good guy, then the bad guys will just give up as soon as they see him and that'd be a boring movie. However I think at 71, 'ol Chuck should be used for dispensing on screen sage advice and instruction like Yoda as opposed to actually fighting as it's possible he could, albeit accidentally, destroy the universe.

Sources have said that Stallone had been talking with Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Carl Weathers, Vin Diesel, The Rock, Charlie Sheen and Lorenzo Lamas about the sequel, which he intends to be "a love letter to martial arts" and that Nicholas Cage will soon be confirmed to star and perhaps even John Travolta. "I like using people that had a moment and then maybe have fallen on some hard times and give them another shot," Stallone told Entertainment Weekly.

Earlier this month Stallone confirmed that both his Planet Hollywood partners, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis would have more extended roles in the sequel than their brief-but-awesome cameo appearances in the original, joining the returning cast of Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and others. The Expendables 2 will be directed by Simon Con Air West.

To be honest, I don't think G.I.Joe 2 out around the same time will get much of a look in with this up against it.

Source: Vaughan / Screenrant / Entertainment Weekly / AICN

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