Saturday, June 04, 2011

On Mission

Apologies, this was to have auto-posted during the week. Blogger fuck-up.

I'm "somewhere hot" with "the boys". Be back soon.


Civilian Overseer said...

What is this the Zach Galifianakis fan club?

Constance said...

Yeah, "somewhere hot" means The Glitter Factory. By the look of "the boys," I'd have to guess that Zach Galifianakis was on the main stage...

Dahar Master said...

Constance said...

They cut it off too soon. I was jammin.

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, I'm curious how did you manage to get your hands on a copy of the Colonel's brief foray into film "The Colonel & the Chocolate Factory", I thought that We had successfully suppressed it..., no wait, never mind, I can see that you where only joking.

Just to be clear, the Colonel has never done por..., ahem, that is to say.. fine weather We're having, anyone seen the latest Dr.Who?

Constance said...

Hang on now, Skivvy, no fair trying to change the subject to Dr. Who when I specifically thought I meant to respond to one of your comments with the question "Did you see that episode of Dr. Who written by Neil Gaiman? Weird, huh?"

I'm sorry to say that I've seen Mr. Sugarpants (Zachary) with a semi-chub.

Also: Hasn't anyone ever wondered, aloud or in print, how a man with absolutely no acting background has managed to be in TWO films?

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, I know you too well, yes, saw it, loved it. Gaiman rules as usual and before you ask, yes, I did weep like a school girl at the end of Sandman, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Semi chub?, there's a story right there, however, let me stop you right there. Please do not expound. ;)

Alas, it's three movies now, Handover I & II and Due Date with Ironman. Hey how many movies did Steve Guttenberg make?

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

@ Civvy: No. It's the "People that can kill you in less time it takes you to sneeze" club.

@ Constance: No. It's an undisclosed middle-eastern country.

@ The next three comments: Homosexual references to "The Quiet Professionals" will not be tolerated. All individuals in my SOF unit are subject to the "Trixxie test", Trixxie being a renowned "Lady of the Night" in Vegas. If Trixxie is left "unsatisfied" then they are not accepted.

The DADT repeal means this vetting practice may come under scrutiny, so before long things just may end up like that Simpsons clip after all :(

@ Civvy: As the aforementioned Mr. Galifianakis also appeared in It's Kind of a Funny Story, Dinner for Schmucks and a couple of other unremarkable movies in the past 2 years [not counting a host of movies he's been in since 2000] it's safe to say Ms. Constance is speaking of my own prolific acting career.

Remember why you're here: Because this all all about me.

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel, You old alcoholic, disease ridden, whoremonger, you're back on form!, Good Show old man.

Trixee test eh?, sounds like a poodle with a shaved ass. how many times did you have to sit the exam? ;)

You show a remarkable knowledge about Mr. Galifianakis acting career, so this must be his fan club.

As for your prolific acting career, my department only supressed the one film, are you talking aout the por..., ahem, that is to say "home movie" that you made with Mr.V?

Constance said...

Ah, yes, my friend Skivs. It has been said that we're two sides of the same coin, you and I.

In other news, I learned from Mr. Gaiman's twitter feed that his missus hasn't even cracked the Sandman series. I had to unsubscribe due to too much disturbing information revealed by him.

Indeed, the man I spoke of as having no acting background but who had made two films was your man The Colonel.

And speaking of... "Homosexual references"? Who was making those? Galafianakis is one of MY people, so of course he must be extremely popular. Also, the point must be made that while Marines are brave, a gay Marine is the bravest of the brave.

Trixxie, that was the blond Asian hooker, yeah?

Civilian Overseer said...

Ah Connie, I didn't want to do this but you're kinda forcing me to do it,

Please refrain from making sexual innuendos regarding my handle. I belong to another. ;)

There, the trap is set.

as for Gay Marines, Sailors, enough said.

The Colonel wasn't really born in the conventional sense, he is more of a metaphysical embodiment of the corp itself. An Avatar, if you will, he exists and will continue to exist as long as there is a corp. As such, the Colonel represents every aspect of the corp to it's utmost. Hence, if there are brave gay marines then the Colonel is the bravest and gayest of marines! Sempre Gay!, Colonel, Sempre Gay!

P.S. Yes, Trixxie, was the blond Asian hooker, she didn't know when to stop asking questions, do you?

Constance said...

First of all: eeuuwww.
Second of all: ick.
Third of all: Ah - HAH!

Your mistake, Skivilian Overseer, was admitting your annoyance with my hilariously juvenile defilement of said handle. I misunderestimated you. Or could it be that I am wrong, and your annoyance is actually wishful thinking? Hmmm?

Now away with you! I must go stir some other pots...

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, Not annoyance my dear, never that. However as a gentleman, I do feel compelled to spare you further blushes, as such, I must ask, you do actually know what "skivs" and "skivys" refer to, don't you?.

I have no problem overseeing your skivs anytime, Madam, in fact it would be both a priviledge, a singular honour and I suspect, a great deal of fun. ;)

Constance said...

Do I know what skivvies are? Yes, but The Colonel told me not to say anything after he took me out behind The Bunker that one time.

As far as manhandling your handle, I have more! However the others are either too obscure or overly revelatory and out of respect for you, I have refrained from printing them here.

Yes, that's right! Respect, my good man! I show you respect and then there you are with your suggestions of overseeing my own lovely lingerie and you have the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to misspell a word in your otherwise correct analysis of the situation? You should know by now that I expect only the correctest of spellings and grammartizations in this blog AND its comments.

Look at The Colonel. Even he refers to me respectfully as "Ms. Constance" while you are so dreadfully informal with "Connie." Approved nicknamifications include "The Hammer" or "The Intimidator." Even "Con" is correct, though I understand that to be gender confused for those with green blood. You people don't even realize that Christy is a girl's name!

Really now.

But back to being the Overseer of Skivvies. You've done an absolutely terrible job. Does Member of Congress Anthony Weiner ring a bell? If you were doing your job properly, no one would have had to see Weiner's member "in session" or "ready for a vote" in his "special subcommittee."

"Filibuster? I barely know 'er!"

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, ah, hon, you says I don't respect ya?, it's yer flirtous manner I admire and your spelling Nazi tendencies I despair of. ;)

As for nerve, yes I do have alot. sometimes, I've even been know to mistake a preganglionic fiber for a postganglionic nerve but he who dares et el...

The "Hammer", the "Intimidator", no, no, totally unacceptable, they will never do. Way too crude and, frankly, my dear, too butch for a lady of your high veracity. Instead I dub thee, "CuddleBunny", I was thinking Ms.Lovely but that is just way too creepy.

As for Weiner, well, not even the mighty department of Civilian Oversight has the budget to cover that arse. ;)

Constance said...

What can I say, Skivster? The Spelling Nazi was born in me. It's what led me to the Spelling Bee Championship (which I lost on a word I immediately knew I spelled wrong, saw confirmation on the nun's face, and then didn't speak up to change my answer because I thought it would be cheating (see veracious nature above post)). It's also what makes me cringe when I see "Rainbow Sprinkes" in my FB game. Which is the same game that has a "Renaissance" catering mission that asks for Victorian dresses and hats... If these are Americans designing the game, I hereby apologize to the international community. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Cuddly? You mean all my hard work at presenting myself as a tough bad ass has gone for naught?

I recommend the Daily Show's coverage of Weiner's weiner. He and Jon Stewart were friends in high school and Weiner's been on the show before. The Comedy Gods were smiling upon all punsters the day Weiner was found out. Ah, weiner jokes. How I love you.

Civilian Overseer said...

Ha, Ha, Connie likes Weiners. :)

Oh, you know who said...

dammit! I never get the last word in any of our volleys. Why do you always have to be the weiner? You get so cocky about it, too. Organ't you re-member? Don't try to contradick me, you gloater.

Peni for your thoughts? Or would you prefer two? Will I have to wait schlong for your reply? Willy or won't he answer me?

Civilian Overseer said...

Connie, there's more slips in that last comment than Mrs. Freud's entire wardrobe. You work it out. ;)

As a subject of her Majesty's western colonies, you might know the answer to the following question, is it true that Jack Donaghy is going to run for Mayor of New York in 2013 now that Weiner has pulled out? ;)

Constance said...

Skivs, don't be ridickulous. Anyway, Freud was a frod.

As for Mr. Donaghy, I'm gonad-efer that question for later. But I'll keep abreast of the situation and let you know if anything leaks. Mr. Donaghy has his own stained past so running a smear campaign may invite a tit for tat situation that would put him in a poor light. He would need to be smart and make sure that he was protected.

Lieutenant General Creedon said...

Aye ye still here? I have posted several times since this.

Constance said...

I know! Why hasn't he picked up on PenisGate?

Civilian Overseer said...

Colonel!, quick Connie put your clothes on before he suspects something and starts shooting moderately attractive people such as myself. ;)