Sunday, April 15, 2007

Shooter: Glorious Gun-Porn

I had the pleasure of watching Shooter last evening. Director Antoine Fuqua is no stranger to guns, bullets, explosions and the 'opera' of battle having previously directed such jems as The Replacement Killers and Tears Of The Sun. His skills have increased exponentially with this masterpiece full of red-neck nut-job conspiracy theories, dodgy politics and gorgeous close ups of the movies stars.

Which brings me to the stars; no, not Mark GySgt Bob Lee Swagger Wahlberg (who will make a fantastic Duke in G.I.Joe by the way) or enemy Danny Colonel Isaac Johnson Glover (whom should really get better false teeth) - no the films stars are the fascinating array of weaponry on display here including the distinctive .408 CheyTac Intervention M200 sniper rifle, the M82 Barrett, and plenty of M4A1s and H&K G36s. Well them and the plus of the obvious flaunting of the delectable Kate Mara (right).

A few minor nitpicks mean the film unfortunately falls short of a 5 Star Plus rating (reserved for films that are perfect examples of their genre) these are mainly that Swagger (and his spotter) are Marines but wearing combat utilities with the US Army camo pattern. Also Swagger cocks his Barrett after each shot at a helicopter but the Barrett is a semi-auto rifle and doesn't need to be cocked in this manner. These two errors alone are not enough to damage the rating but when coupled with the most unforgivable error they are; In a scene where Johnson requires an audience with Swagger he uses a Medal Of Honor to get his attention. Johnson asks him "Do you know what this is?" to which Swagger replies "The Congressional Medal Of Honor". Now no Marine (and I doubt any member of the military) would refer to the medal as that. The medal is awarded by Congress and it's recipients are members of the Congressional Medal Of Honor Society, but the medal itself is very strictly known as The Medal Of Honour. Only idiots and uninformed civilians who don't know better refer to it with the Congressional prefix.

These issues aside don't detract too much for the thorough enjoyment of this action flick which I would regard as a little more intelligent than a Mike Bay or Tony Scott movie of the same genre. Think Bourne Identity and The Fugitive (with lots of sniper rifles).

Colonel Creedon Rating: *****

12 comments:

Darkle Dagbar said...

Excellent! Good to know Lt. Col.!

Civilian Overseer said...

5 stars, your life partner "Mark" from 2igtv has it right when he says that you'll give awards to anything. You're a slut of a movie critic.

'jœrmuŋgandr said...

I've not seen it, but I'll happily call the Lt.Col a gun loving slut of a critic at the drop of a hat.

Civilian Overseer said...

I suggest we start a campaign to get the Lt.Col to be more discerning. Theres a reason they give you up to five stars Lt.Col, so that you can use less.

All we are saying is give NO a chance.

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

If you look at the sidebar you'll see a good spread of star-ratings. The productions featured there change frequently so keep an eye out.

I recall Sean Penn's "All the Kings Men" last year got one star but the ultimate humiliation: the award of no stars at all was given last year to "Nacho Libre" which had no redeeming qualities whatsoever so lower ratings are given out.

To be honest, I'm not compelled to spend time writing about something that's a load of shit or that I just don't enjoy, but as you wish I'll make a conscious effort to do so in the future.

That said over the past couple of years I've become better at choosing films and will now avoid fims that do not appear from the trailers, reviews or additional advertising to meet "The Creedon Criteria"- an exhaustive list which includes rules not limited to: that the film must contain content such as Bladed Weapons, Automatic Weapons or Beam Weapons. Not be suitable for young children. Be of War, Action, Fantasy or Sci-Fi genre which furthermore may be combined with each other or with the Comedy, Thriller or Drama. True stories a) concerning the US military b) containing scenes where large groups of non-caucasian ethnic minorities are "pacified" may also be considered.
Any exceptions to genre can only be made if the star is on a list of approved stars (e.g. Sam Jackson), approved directors (e.g. Mike Bay) or if the production has any person or persons who recieved a Whopper Award nomination.

Civilian Overseer said...

"if the production has any person or persons who recieved a Whopper Award nomination.",

Is there anyone you havn't given one of those to already?

Have you explain your feelings regarding pacifying the ethnic minorities to Mr.Sam Jackson?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Woody Allen! I will never, ever watch a film starring or directed by Woody Allen. I'd rather watch Robert Altman's entire works...

Not the last time I spoke to the muthafucka, perhaps in future.

Master Guns said...

The movie brings back memories Colonel. Remember Angola?

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Be silent. We were never in Angola!!!

'jœrmuŋgandr said...

I believe the Lt.Cols Sam Jackson fetish is to do with his craving for 'Hot Chocolate Love'

Lt. Colonel Creedon said...

Yeah, thanks for that Joe. Now go back to your studies...

Harrison said...

The movie made a mistake I noticed,
the gun tripod says Barret M82 (The Digital one that was used to frame Swagger) But, he used the CheyTac M200 weapon system