Sunday, December 14, 2008

Dumbass Iraqi Journalist Flings Shoes At Bush

The training that I personally gave President George W. Bush to dodge missiles such as knives or eggs etc. paid off today when some dumbass Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at him during a press conference. The conference, part of the outgoing president's secret tour of Iraq was being held with with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki to mark the signing of a U.S.-Iraq security agreement.

Bush had been finishing his remarks in which he said the security agreement was made possible by the U.S. surge of troops earlier this year, when the journalist, one Muthathar al Zaidi pulled off his shoes and hurled them at the president shouting "This is a goodbye kiss, you dog"*. Bush dodged the shoes and was not struck, mostly because of the comprehensive training I gave him in 2005 after watching the Ben Stiller movie Dodgeball, where I emulated the training given by Patches O'Houlihan, a character in the movie. Bodyguards quickly wrestled Zaidi to the floor and hauled him, kicking and screaming, from the room.

I must say that I'm extremely disappointed that the man didn't receive two 9mm's into his skull and instead was merely "subdued" before being carted off - but perhaps he will have an accident in custody. If this is the gratitude that people show for being liberated from tyranny - Obama may have the right idea to begin getting out of there and letting God sort 'em out. Anyway, while I can take credit for his Jedi-like reflexes, I can't take credit for Bush's razor sharp wit - "All I can report," he joked of the incident, "is a size 10."


*Different news sites are all reporting variations of what the moron was shouting as he threw the shoes

Source: Youtube,FoxNews, MSNBC, AP

13 comments:

Civilian Overseer said...

For Shame! ,Lt.Col, For Shame!, you should have been by the Commander in Chief's side, ready to take any malodorous footwear hurled by Irate Iraqis, don't give me any, "that ain't my bag, it was the SEALS job" malarkey,

Word on the hill is that, nowadays, you're too busy to take George's calls, too busy sucking up to the new administration in order to keep your cushy appointment.

Shame!

vaughan said...

I'm more worried about the apparent dirty bomb detonation on the colonels site!

I loved Al Jazeeras reporting though, minutes after the "Incident" over a hundred lawyers volunteered their services for free to ensure the mans civil rights were not infringed ...where the hell were all these Lawyers when Saddamn was violating peoples rights?

Constance said...

Deliberately showing someone the bottom of your shoe (does it extend to naked feet? I don't know) is a serious insult in the Arab world. It's like it is worse than the finger - you might joke about giving your buddy the finger, but you would never joke around with the bottom of your shoe.

So... with that comparison in mind, and the fact that the shoes went flying through the air at Bush, you'll have to make up your own clever comparison because it is still way too early for me to come up with anything coherent. All I can come up with is "He flipped him the sole" and "He flew him the shoe!"

Terrible, all terrible. Especially since birds are considered holy little guys in the Muslim world. You'll have to come up with a better joke.

That dog thing, if he really did call Pres. Bush a dog, is also a big insult.

sith master said...

@ Lt.Col:
"I must say that I'm extremely disappointed that the man didn't receive two 9mm's into his skull"

It could have been easily justified, given past incidents with 'shoe-bombers'.

@Constance:
I believe that 'dog' would be considered abusive. After all, a dog is an unclean animal in Islam - or so I'm told.

Dahar Master said...

G.W is an Idiot and has always been an Idiot, and will always be an Idiot

Civilian Overseer said...

Lt.Col, Connie shows disturbing familiarity with the Arab world, I believe you know what must be done...

sith master said...

"Do what must be done ... show no mercy, do not hesitate"

Constance said...

Sithy: your source on the dog thing is correct.

Civvy: Hah! yeah right. Never gonna happen.

Civilian Overseer said...

Sithy your bumbling apprentice has failed again, Connie has now started to give me Gyp, kindly resolve the matter.

sith master said...

My bumbling apprentice? Oh he's not gotten that far yet ...

Civilian Overseer said...

Sithy, How do the Sith select their apprentices, is it like the X-factor?

Pint Of said...

All I can say is....."IT's time to play the music...it's time to to light the lights...." You know the rest...where are the wonderful heros jumping in front of their outgoing commander and chief? I bet this was a test to see if they could get him with a knife next time...watch this space..... Hollywood do these things much better.....

Constance said...

Ah, the Muppet Show. What a gift to the world!

One thing I am still wondering though: Did he get his shoes back? Or were the shoes taken into evidence? If so, when will they show up on eBay?