SPEARHEAD are currently monitoring reports of a Cryptid 2N-Alpha sighting in the region of Avocado Lake, Northern California.
If you are in the area do not engage, shoot at or attempt to communicate with anything resembling "Bigfoot". If you encounter same, please notify the authorities.
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My life is on the line daily providing you with a cushy blanket of freedom which you can use to express yourselves in this area.
So don't say anything that'll make me have to delete your posts!
Semper Fi
Lieutenant General "Whopper" Creedon